PAM AND DENISE PARTY LIKE IT’S 1989
01.30.08Once upon a time, Pam Anderson was the hottest girl on the block, making pornos with every rock star in sight and partying all night. Sadly, she thought her ass would age like wine and now she’s married to a guy she just met, and that guy is Rick Soloman. Also, she’s pregnant. With whose baby, God only knows. Smells like someone’s baking frownies again :-( :-(
In this clip from Blonde and Blonder, she dresses in spandex and does a dance with Denise Richards. They have four children and 76 years between them. I think the guy must’ve died of embarrassment!
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Just show us your tits, ya tramps
Yes, what he said. Tits.
Fuck. I’m not a preposter. I was unaware. Damn you, uh, however you pronounce your name.
This is officially posted now.
Comment away!
There is nothing more tragic than Pamela Anderson trying to be comedic.
This was stupid.
This is the opening credits to Denise Richards’ new reality show.
Watching this clip is like reading wwtdd.
wow. I am scarred for life now. Thanks Lance
I don’t mean to sound like an asshole here, but I wish Charlie Sheen’s cool self would have actually had Ms. RIchards killed.
how big a fuck up do you have to be to make charly sheen look like the sane one?
also charly sheen dont believe in 911
She isn’t pregnant anymore…
*chodin talks to his penis*
chodin: “penis, isn’t this fucking awesome!? denis richards and pam anderson dancing together?!”
chodin’s penis: “yo, this is gayer than being inside of doctress leisa.”
"They have four children and 76 years between them"
Don’t forget the 476 STDS they’ve had between them too.
Can’t wait for "Hepatitis: The Musical" to hit Broadway.
For the record I have never thought Pam Anderson was remotely hot. Total silicone tramp, not in the least bit attractive.
However, once upon a time I thought Denise Richards was hot while she was fucking Matt Dillon and Naomi Campbell (god rest her career).
I’m guessing there’s another X behind Pam’s head. That one’s the target. Although, shooting her in the tit would be funnier. Right, or left, she’d zoom away like a balloon.
No Agb, if you shot her in the chest, she wouldnt even bleed. She would just ooze silicone. You would have to call hazmat instead of 911
You guys are fukcsticks! I’d rail these too at the same time!
I need to stop letting the neighborhood kids use my computer.
Jack, are you channeling other people? Fukcsticks? Is that a dirty version of winnie the poohs poohsticks?
What’s great about Pam is that she’s so used to phallic shaped objects being pointed at her, so if you pulled out a gun she’d just open her legs and blink impatiently. *cough* Whore *cough*.
BTW, Hairy, Neve Campell. Always liked her.
I channel other people all the time. But starting today I’m only channeling those who admit that size matters.
Eib, poohsticks already sounds dirty to me.
Back to Shelley’s Defence of Poetry. A bit of high culture a bit of subterranian. Ker-plunk!
hey hairy: great match last night.
Nom, why are you stuck on penis size today? I mean I always am, i love them, but I thought you liked girls…
Oh
I see
Jacktion! saysYou guys are fukcsticks! I’d rail these too at the same time!
The fact that they would probably bang you back is the reason why I wouldn’t fuck these two washed-up has-beens. That and you know, Richie Sambora.
It’s not a schtick if you don’t reitterate it from time to time, eib. Trying to get all the itteration out of the way today so I won’t have to tomorrow.
K, got it. I was gettin worried.
And , the size of your schtick does matter. Just saying
Penis Size.
So… how about that Sexman?
does butthole size matter?
[a durstenite would say: “i don’t know chodin, does it?”}
sexman is cool he needs to start posting here
Only to your boyfriend, cho
Where is dubs?
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII hate my job sometimes.
Chodie, great match? You mean Kings/Flyers?
Sorry Jack, Neve Campbell is right. But Denise Richards fucking Naomi Campbell wouldn’t be all that bad either.
i hear that pauly im very close to burning this place down myself
IIIIIIIIIIII wanna drink some whiskey
hairy: yessssum massa!
Naomi Campbell has long nipples.
It was 12 years ago, The Mighty Fek’lhr purchased a Playboy Christmas Special with Pamela Anderson in it. He took it back to His dorm, took off His pants and Fruit of the Looms, sat down on His bunk with the magazine ready to pump away.
17 seconds later, he threw the Playboy in the trash and gout out an old
HighlightsHustler that had half the pages sticking together.Story being, girls can have pretty faces and hair (or, whatever), but if they aren’t flashing any snatch, He just can’t do it.
Guy’cha! That video is just like total deja vu from His bris!
I wouldn’t roll around in beach sand with Pam. Something about fake looking tits with nipples facing up. Oh yeah, and the Hep. Hep might play a big role in that,
IIIIIIII mean that IIIIIIIIIII wouldn’t.
Any of you guys seen the Church of Scientology response video to anonymous that is on youtube? They list ebaumsworld as a site that will fall. Go for it I say!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OOXx2p12x4o
i refuse to watch such tripe. so i’ll talk about something off-topic. blah blah blah, double-entendre, something your mother did (to me), blah blah, off-handed quip denegrating some other poster, so forth and so on.
i don’t do this as well as lala does…
“…in the trash and gout out an old…”
wait fek, you had “the gout” ?
Gout makes it hard for Him to lace up His Klingon boots.
Nom, I couldn;t understand half of what that video said.
Did they say that ebaumsworld was fronting criminal activity?
It’s how Canadians say "got".
When you’ve got some of the biggest actors in the world in your church, don’t you think you can maybe get someone who speaks clearer than a robot lady to speak for you?
It’s how Canadians say "got".
Oh, I gout it.
GOUT’CHA
Jack, if you click "more" in the description it has the full transcript. It say’s the transcript is there "for the hard of hearing". ZING!! But anyways, gotta go pick up the kid. Latersed.
i don’t do this as well as lala does…
There was this one time I stole a pen because this guy working at Blockbuster was being a dick. I felt all tough and cool until I got home and the pen didn’t work. Then I went and stole a pen from my Mum’s purse and raised my arms in a V and jogged in one spot. It was my Birthday so no one asked me why I was faux-jogging in the livingroom with a pen held above my head. Ah, to be 13 again.
http://www.cafepress.com/cmkxstore.28825401
FREE LORD XENU!! FREE LORD XENU!!
I’m scared to death that Tom Cruise is going to die a martyr like at the end of Stranger in a Strange Land and give scientology some legitimacy because of it.
Let’s hope the pressures of homosexual denial finally get the best of him and he dies by drinking and choking on LRon’s sperm they keep locked up in the Scientology cryogenics lab.
Goddamn social life is interfering with my procrastination. Quite frankly, i don’t give a shit about catching up on everything. So it goes. Love, Charlie. x
I was about to type something, but then I realized that comment wouldn’t have any substance. So here we are.
nom @ 18:39 that’s happenned to me all day today :(
Yeah, well, when you got nothing to say, it’s best to not say anything. I fuckin always make it a fuckin point to play it loud and play it hard, so that when those bitches that are all like "shit" will know who it came from and why I rock like I do, and in the end, isn’t that the best thing humans have ever been able to fuckin do since we’ve been all up and shit?
Anyone still here or did I miss the party again? Damn this working from home, it’s supposed to be even more slack-ass than working from work, isn’t it? WHAT AM I DOING WRONG???
What you did wrong was that you didn’t sleep all day! Thats what I would have done. Well, that and masturbate.::cue laugh track:
Ahh God help me!!
<Craplaper stumbles in bleeding from ears and emaciated beyond recognition>
…I just spent 8 straight fucking hours in a conference room filled with retarded monkeys and Tom Cullens’. They even had lunch catered for a working lunch… Jesus why have you forsaken me…
Quick somebody say something funny
Hey Craptastic: Hey, could you hook me up with your ugly friend?
tom cullens the m-o-o-n guy?
m-o-o-n that spells durst!
:(
Sure thing Nom. True, I have an ugly second tier acquaintance who will fuck anything. If you don’t mind a little sweaty cheese action.
*chodin comes running up in his judo uniform from 6th grade*
what’s up!? is the game still on?
m-o-o-n that spells "You have no fucking clue what you are talking about! Fucking die already!" Who thought a skull would be so hard to crush with a fire extinguisher.
(translation: Why yes bex, that Tom Cullens)
i think a proper remake of the stand is in order, although gary sinise was perfect for the role of stu, lot’s of thing could’ve been done better in the original mini series
I think The Stand could have been better too, but I still love it. Steve Buscemi would be perfect for the role of trash. Of course, I think steve buschemi would be good in most any role. I-Am-Legend? Bah! I-Am-Steve
I’ll second that bex. I would really like for some non-hack writer to come up with an entirely new ending. King always wrote himself into a literary corner and then shit out some half baked ending to tie it up. [see: It]
Steve Buschemi (is that really how it’s spelled? meh, who cares) has got to be the most fucked-up, unfuckable fucktard I’ve ever laid my eyes on. And I AM being polite.
But he can act.
Hollywood fuckhole: Hey, I need a totally fucking wierd lookin dude for this role, but he has to have kick ass acting chops.
Anybody: Steve B.
How about HBO films does it? They can sure pump out a series.
[bows head in moment of silence for Deadwood}
Fuck David Milch and FUCK John from Cincinati!
and after reading the book i just dont picture molly ringwald as frannie
Well fuck. I look just like steve buschemi. The reason I always throw him out there is I’m trying to get people to see how good-looking we actually are without all the superficiality. Now, it’s time to go cry in the corner with only my humongus penis to keep me company.
:sigh, whimper, sigh::
You can borrow my toss-a-ho when bex is finished. She won’t care.
damnit crap i cant do it under pressure like that, just forget it, go ahead nom i’ll just go
masturbate furiously with a hollowed out melonplay mario brosWhat? Nah, I finished the second he said he has an ugly friend. That was all I needed.
Baby carrot or two up the ass to massage the ol prostrate and it’ll quickly be time to tag out.
Alright Drunks, time for me to go home and pound a magnum of Yellow Tail Shiraz to try and forget the things I heard "educated" retards say today.
Vio con queso!
Hey! You didn’t ‘hear’ me say anything. I typed it! ZING!!??
I did it like this, I did it like that, I did it with a wiffle ball bat
Is that from Dr. Suess pauly?
Holy forshak!
Jake the Snake = Greatest Crackhead of All TIme
um, so i’ve seen “making the band”, i mean “the stand”- but i’m still lost in whatever you all are talking about…
HOWEVER: fucking a wiffle ball bat??? pauly, now you’re speaking my language!!!!
The Mighty Fek’lhr does it with an empty Kleenex box (sometimes).
Seriously, did you guys ever see "Beyond the Mat"? Jake the Snake is a bonerfied crackhead and his daughter is fat and emo! ROFJO!
I do it with gopher holes, especially when the gopher is home. Sure, it hurts when the little fucker bites, but lately it’s the only way to get my dick into someone’s mouth.
And boy is he surprised when I give him a facial! We laugh and laugh and ROTFJO!!
I was going to go read Frankenstein (movie monsters can’t be made and/or adopted by jews) for school, but frig that, I’m going to be a failure and read The Stand again. Who needs scholastic sucess when they can have pulp fiction (not the movie) procrastination.
Scholastic Durstitude in 5..4..3.. *makes V symbol, makes \ symbol, swoops \*
I think Jake the Snake clucked his snake for crack money.
Clucked is ebonics for “selling or pawning items for drug money”.
I was going to procrastinate, but I decided to put it off until later.
I’m so excited about "Snow Buddies"
I’m so excited!
I’m so scared!
I curse your name nightly, Jacktion!
You’re not the only one, apparently.
It’s still awesome, though.
Someone remind me – which one’s Cagney and which one’s Lacey?
FYI – I’ve had that joke ready since the pre-poster pre-posted…
I’ve been busy, don’t judge me.
Cagney is the guy who said, "You dirty rat! You’re the rat who killed my brother!"
Lacey is the little girl with the weird voice from Party of Five that grew up to be smokin hot.
Cagney is the guy who said, "You dirty rat! You’re the rat who killed my brother!"
That is correct. And I only know that because of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles The Movie.
I only know that because Mickey Dolenz did a bad Cagney impression in 1 out of every 10 episodes of The Monkees.
The Monkees should sue the Beatles. Just to amuse me, I guess.
Fuck. I knew it was going to happen, but Kansas just got beat by Kansas State.
……..hey honey, can you hand me that gun please? Thanks.
That’s funny you guys were talkin about male enhancement earlier.
The regional manager came in my office (orfice?) today, and he was on my computer. So I’s fuck with him (cause I can) all the time. I says “What you doing? Looking for some Miracle Gro for your dick? You should hang yourself upside down by cock to grow. Like one of them Brady Bunch kids.”
He gives me this look like he got caught jacking off by his Mom. So I check my search history, and sure as shit I see “penis enlargement”.
Poor bastard. I didn’t give him the 3rd degree but I got me some job security. Which is nice.
BTK, nice Cpt. Lou there Jacktion!.
112 where the playaz dwell.
Holla
anyone fucking awake in here!?!?
Kinda sorta Chod
You should of came in with one of your entrances, Chod.
[stumbles in and hits the chair so hard it makes complaintive sounds. An order of wine and jizz is evident]
Hey, the fuck what is it going fucks?
I mean…
…i see you and love you all…
Fuck! Wrong characters!
It would suck if I cared.
:Stone Soup strides into the room in a rented tux with his tie tucked into his wasteband:
Gentlemen…
I pee in the shower but i won’t jack off in there anymore. after i’ve came i’m ready to get the Hell out of there and take a nap so i forget to clean the drain and usually leave a glob there. i remember one time that a bunch of hair got mixed in it and my son woke me up yelling about this big spider that he killed in the bathtub who’s guts exploded all over his face when he smacked it. i could smell it and knew what it was before i actually went to go look at it. i just smacked him on the back, said "Good job, son" and wiped his face off with a wetnap before i laid back down.