Our buddy Chev Chelios Jason Statham is back in the newest trailer for The Bank Job. It’s great, because I always wondered what Ocean’s Eleven would be like if you added British accents (Don Cheadle’s fake cockney doesn’t count). I’ve put the Ocean’s Thirteen trailer after the jump for comparison – seriously, I’m surprised they even bothered to use a different song.
I’m also glad they created this using a strict no-shots-longer-than-two-seconds policy, because otherwise I might know what the hell it’s about. I imagine those out of focus black kids swimming have something to do with it though. (Opens March 7th)
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The Mighty One is SO getting one of these:
[tinyurl.com]
2nd Amendment-1
Communism-0
Don Cheadle’s fake cockney doesn’t count
It’s fake!?!?! I could swear I he had adam’s apple and man hands…
Moy naym eez Chev Chelios, and tadoy es da doi I Dahst!
How many more of these "British-criminals steal from the wrong guy(s)" movies can Statham appear in before he loses it and decides to kill Guy Ritchie and Madonna?
I ask so that I can write a check to finance said films, mind you.
I think that this movie was better when it was Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and I LOVED it as Snatch….
boobies
Cockney? How’d you know it went down to my knee?
Fuck me! I started watching that and woke up on the floor foaming from the mouth… Got enough jump cuts? My epilepsy says, "Yes".
i’m surprised ol chev didn’t just retire to some tropical island on his royalties from in the name of the king.
Pictures of "The Royal Princess" as opposed to what? My pet dog ‘Princess’?
this one time i asked my ex-girlfriend’s mother to give me a “bank job”…then i fucking ended up a teller for three goddamn years.
chodin, i know how you feel bro. i, too, did the same thing but instead of asking for a "bank job" I asked for a "blow job." Long story short I ended up with a clap. Because when she slapped me it sounded like a clap.
I love how they used the ‘tunneling from the store next door’ device from Small Time Crooks to rape our skulls.
Woody Allen is hoping this is the last time his name and rape are ever associated.
Jason Statham is to action films as tentacles are to hentai.
Jason Statham is to action hero as Gandhi is to stand up comedy.
And the black people are all like, "hey bitch!" and the Indian people, we do not call our women in such a way.
erswi-He still cannot figure out if you are complimenting or sleighting Statham. Gandhi is pretty damn funny! One time this guy pissed him off, so he starved himself to almost death! ROFLKOTAL!
See what He did there? It’s funny because Gandhi would have starved anyway! Gandhi lives in a third world country!!! WHA HA HA!!!!!!
It could go either way. I find that typically though I would not be laughing with Gandhi, but rather at Gandhi. Whereas I would only laugh at Statham if I were to read on the news that a lone gunmen climbed to the top of a water tower with a high-powered rifle (integral mounted 20x scope), took slow careful aim at Statham’s bald fucking head, controled his breathing, gently squeezed the trigger until . . . BACK AND TO THE LEFT! BACK AND TO THE LEFT! BACK AND TO THE FUCKING LEFT!*
*see also Erswi’s WL comments regarding Terrell Owens, if Uff hadn’t been a dick and canceled his account for a little LazyTown revolution.
in closing, LAZYTOWN4LIFE, NUKKAS!!!!
Does it really matter if you laugh at or with stand up comedians?
Hey, it was your fucking analogy, erswi! This will remind you that Grethor can de-cloak at any time! QAPLAH!
@Erswi
I laughed at Gandhi (Ben Kingsley) when he got shot. He made a funny sound.
I really only went the Gandhi route b/c I watched The Stewie Griffin Untold Story again last night and I love the Gandhi bit. And when he was shot. That was comedy gold.
Ok, let’s try this again. Jason Statham is to action hero as Amy Winehouse is to sex goddess. Better Fekkywise?
So what youa re saying is that Jason Statham is the pinnacle of what an action hero should be!
In a pig’s eye!
You scared me for a moment there Fek. You really did.
Just remember, erswi, when we all joke about BTK’ing bitches, there are people really out there doing it. Like Lance, Chod, Jacktion!, Eibmoz, Dooter, Lalala, …well, basically everyone except you
and me.Dammit Fek, you were supposed to hit me on my mobile when BTK was ON! You dropped the fucking spirit stick on that one buddy. Next time, remember your brutha before you go out and BTK.
…well, in that case, He still has one in the trunk that is technically alive.
Oh, um…that one isn’t technically alive any more…
Alright, fine. Have all the whores to yourself. I’m gonna have to head back to the old alma mater and start BTK’ing co-eds. You guys have no idea where I went to school, right? Right? I thought not.
How do you "go" to University of Phoenix Online?
Lovely Gandhi anecdote as told by John Sessions on QI: Richard Attenborough is filming the funeral scene which famously involved over a million extras and he’s wants his 1st Assistant, David Tomblin, to instruct the vast crowd as to how they should react, "I want you to convey to them, darling, Gandhi’s died, darling, and it’s an extraordinary event; an extraordinary event in the whole history of India. Gandhi has gone. Their national hero, their god has gone." David Tomblin turns to the crowd and through his megaphone screams, "Right. Listen up. Gandhi’s dead and you’re all fucking sad!"
He looks familiar, a new member of mybikermatch.com, he was interested in those sexy&naughty biker chicks there? Seems hiltona nd Britney often dig those profiles there.
He looks familiar, a new member of mybikermatch.com he was interested in those sexy&naughty biker chicks there? Seems hiltona nd Britney often dig those profiles there.
Good thing they played "London Calling" or I would have sworn that took place in Liverpool! Bravo ol’ chap!