MOVIES MIGHT NOT TELL THE TRUTH??!!?
01.18.08
Shock, disbelief, hysteria, peturpitudenousness – these are just some of the words that describe my reaction to today’s news that Hollywood may use the words "based on a true story" loosely. A new report implies movies may bend the truth, "glamorizing" or "romanticizing" events that were in reality far less cinematic.
Specifically at issue is Ridley Scott’s American Gangster, which purports to tell the true story of Harlem druglord Frank Lucas. On Wednesday, several DEA agents who investigated the Lucas case sued NBC Universal for defamation. (Also at issue is whether Lucas ever smuggled heroin in caskets, though I hardly see why that matters)
Lucas is shown to turn informant, specifically against corrupt police officers. A legend at the end of the movie claims three-fourths of New York’s Drug Enforcement Agency were convicted thanks to Lucas’ cooperation.
"(Lucas) was my informant for years," [former DEA Agent Jack] Toal says. "He never mentioned any crooked DEA agent or cop."
A DEA spokesman in Washington, Garrison Courtney, confirmed that no agents were ever charged with wrongdoing in the case.
Three-fourths, none – hey, tomato tomahto. I’ll tell you this though, the DEA is guilty of totally harshing my mellow on numerous occasions. And Denzell of giving me a bad case of jungle fever. Wait, is that racist? Whatever, it sounds better than Finding An African-American Man Attractivitis.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/Russell-Crowe-background-vaughn-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/russell-150x150.jpg)
the HULK is still true…right, you guys?
The Mighty Fek’lhr’s tale of the pedophile singing Him the Donald Duck song at a young age is based on a true story.
fek- i’m going to have to agree to disagree with you on the “leisa” issue.
if i kill her, i’ll let you keep the body: deal?
Howard the Duck was a true story, and Howard smuggled drugs in caskets.
Chod-that’s fine, I am not your fucking god. Just don’t be surprised if aliens start doing
more frequentanal probes on you.fek: fair enough…i can live with that.
*chodin tries to prime his butt with his fist*
Chodin! Dub is going to be really upset that you’re cheating on him!
wait, wait, wait…so am i to assume that john smith never fucked pocahontus?
jacktion!: it’s toatlly different dude- fek’s anal mishaps are all purely scientific…dub and i’s gym adventures are based on emotion and strategy.
Her, Cho, let me help you, I got your back
doorSo, it’s kinda like Battleship, but with powersquats and cocks?
her is the new here
wait: this post is all about me having anal sex, right?
Jacktion, you 24 bit whore (see how i did that?)
What a bunch of frikkin a-holes they got over there now, huh? The f!sts didn’t wreck that thread, Cocktress did. "I’m gonna go tell Brenda-IT’S MY JOB!" Talk about a boring worthless slab of hog fat cunt scab on 2 hooves. Her radio show also sucks. I heard it once. ONCE. She’s got as much personality as a manhole cover with false eyelashes, only the manhole has a smaller, better smelling opening.ÂÂ
jacktion!: i was gonna’ say it’s more ‘clue’ than ‘battleship’- but you seem to get the general idea, yes.
don’t let it get your fist down duke-in-a-devo: i done got banned this morning…leisa’s gonna’ get run over on her way home from night school (court?).
So it’s Dub, in the weight lifting room, with the candlestick?
Wait, what’s going on with Leisa?
It’s jack that jumps upon the candlestick. Jack.
You fuckers attacked without me?
Dead2Me!
jacktion! – we done got banned, BANNED i say!!! they don’t allow the word “fist” anymore. true story: they’ll kick you if you say ‘FIST’…so maybe we should sing it from now on?
Chodin, did you get banned, or was it an alter?
Jacktion!, you don’t fucking wake up until like 4 any more! DOr sho gha!
Pretty soon they’ll have 6 comments a day like WL because no one will know what’s safe to say anymore. Whoopee. Glad someone feels a need for "rules" and "hall monitors". Humorless fucks like that make me want to fucking puke.ÂÂ
jacktion!: it was my alter-FIST that got banned…angry chodin is still alive over there.
p.s. are you guys still reading that M&M post??? it’s like a goddamn degrassi episode!
penis.s. fek, your avatar just made me get a boner.
NO RUNNING JWiaDH!!!
Fek,, I’m sorry I’ve got other things to do. Trust me, I don’t like it any more than you do.
J! wasn’t there? Good. Neither was I. Except for 1 or 2.
Guy’cha! No excuse, human kotal!
Which is your alter, chod? OktoberFIST?
BTW, I should post the full size pic of my avatar. I just did an image search for "klingon fans", and this gaywad was the first image listed.
What, are you guys involved in another F*ST! invasion? Answer me Answer me you sloppy bitches!
So anyway, American Gangster. I saw it. It was about a black guy selling heroin. The message was, don’t wear a fur coat and sit in the front row at Madison Square Garden if you want to maintain a low profile and you are a black guy who sells heroin. Also character development was shit.
Who was FIST! Amendment RIghts?
That was the funniest fucking thing I’ve seen in a while.
P.S. I’m guessing it was Nom.
jacktion!: i am fist.your.mother.with.that.mouth…..was….i was….i have to start getting used to saying that now.
So Doctress actually has a "job" over there? Curiouser and curiouser. I remember her comments being kind of reliable but rarely inspired. Might have laughed at something she said once. Maybe it was someone else. That site does need a moderator though, maybe she’ll be good at that.
So who wants to steal her avatar, and start posting as Doctress Loser?
I think it is a great idea to keep the dollarmenunaires.com spammers from fucking shit up, but getting on real people that are just fucking around is kinda ghey.
I’m already got my altar over there so, I’m good.
oh for christ sake, now those “ingins” are talking about how hot doctress’ myspace pictures are…
…first cloverfield, now this? my weekend is going to fuck a FIST. da-da-cha!!!!!
…actually, I was thinking about doing a Cocksooka Wu-esque "Marlene" rant.
(Just kidding! Or am I?)
I also remember that when the black guy who sells heroin arrived at Madison Square Garden, he was riding an elephant that was wearing one of those big brimmed pimp hats and the black guy had a cheetah [which was wearing a mink vest] sitting on his lap, further adding to the message about the do’s and don’ts of low profile keeper uppering.
When I sold coke, the only people that knew were the people who bought from me.
It’s like I told Fek, they should be happy with any amount of posts they get on that fucker considering 9 out of 10 threads are about Britney Spears for fuck’s sake. I guess it’s just time for old JHC to go on an extended hiatus there again. If she and Brandon or whatever the fuck his name is can’t relax a little bit on a Friday and let shit roll, then they’re entirely too uptight and think way too highly of themselves. Also, it was a non issue until she popped off about it first. I’m just sayin’.
Them, and Phil Collins.
<—– FIST! Amendment Rights
JHC is right about Howard Johnson being right.ÂÂ
Inviting her be the moderator of a comment board is like inviting Dr. Phil to an L.S.D. orgy with ugly people: It’s just going to bum everybody out and make it even harder to get a hard-on in a situation where it’s already difficult enough to get a hard-on in the first place.
brendan’s posts on durden usually crack me up, but most of the commenters come off as sexually frustrated college kids. it must be a huge letdown when you get to campus and realize pussy doesn’t just fall off trees but you actually still need some sort of a decent personality to pick up sorority skanks… or rohypnol.
It was Coksooka Wu
Not Cocksooka.
…and while I may not be welcome here..(or "there"…anymore) ……the strength of the arguments against "Fist" have convinced me.
I think all comments should be filtered through a reviewer who can then elect to post them the following day…if they are deemed appropriate. …. Then, of course, we would all come back to read our best internet friend’s comedy gold.
Upon analysis….it seems CRAZY to allow unregulated and unmonitored commenting.
The little stories posted at the top of these pages can be read in seconds.
The comments take me minutes to 1/2 hours (I’m a bit of a slow reader…though that may be more my "refresh rate" than anything else).
Half the time I wind up clicking on the ads on these sites because I spend so much time reading comments.
If I only read the site posting I could be in and out of here in seconds without bothering these poor advertising websites with my foolish clicking.
I’m buying my wife a Snorg T-Shirt about Alligators and crocodiles….but now….maybe not.
jacktion! – i’m falling in FIST with you, over on “that site we do not speak of”.
StAnky… there aren’t any words.
Will "bravo" suffice?
For the record, I think Brendon’s posts are always well written, clever and funny. Unless he bans one of my characters, which he hasn’t, and shouldn’t and hopefully wouldn’t, not that he couldn’t.ÂÂ
observer: too many words for me to handle…sorry broha. cliffnotes?
Thank god I have a life.
thank god i killed my wife.
Chodin:
Here’s the Cliff Notes.
Me spending time reading comments makes me spend more time on the site being exposed to the advertisements (which actually pay cash-money to Fat Penguin Media).
Me only reading the "Author’s" (i.e. Lance or Brend(on)) posting can be done in seconds and I will thus be exposed to the advertisements for a shorter period of time.
So if I want to make comments that are funny and on-topic, should I use this site or the other one? Or both until one or the other implodes?
I’d post here more, but seriously I think the last non-kids movie I saw in a theater was American Beauty.
God hasn’t smote you draft dodgers yet?
Post away, but try to avoid talking about the topic. That kind of shit will get you 86ed around here faster than something that goes really really fast.
I know this is off topic, but i posted this at WWTDD, and I am going topost it here, too:
I guess ol’ Dirty Hairy is going to have ta set things straight with you melodramatic egomaniacs:
This all basically boils down to two things:
Jack – remarkably well said, 15:43.
Stinky after about comment 4, maaaaybeee 5… it doesn’t matter a fuck if you know what a movie is. You only have to know what a fifi is.
I’m not a big fan of the use of the comments here to coordinate/celebrate attacks on the other site. Beyond that, most of the comments follow a pretty clear stream of conciousness stemming from (what often resembles) the original topic.
This is gonna be Un-funny Friday, huh?
BONG!!!
fek: i love you…but i disagree. “we are all people” should be removed from the text.
we are filmdrunk. they are nazis. we are marshall. i am legend.
Don’t look now but there’s a scary negro up there on top of the page. Two if you count Observer.
Pauly – a plate of bacon and eggs walks into a bar…
Damn liars! I haven’t had a case this strong since my lawsuit agains The Neverending Story!
(been done?)
Make that 5. Or 6.
comedy central had some movie with denzel washington in it on yesterday. it also starred bob hoskins as a racist detective who recieved denzel’s heart in a transplant…and with it, his soulll. how the fuck did this guy win an oscar?
Wumpus, everyone knows Denzel’ best comedy is Philadelphia.
Denzel’s*
Stoned is no way to spell.
Oh, and Stinky, don’t worry, you will do fine! Would you like to be The Mighty Fek’lhr’s Jamie Farr for the ba’Sin Show? You would get your own mallett!!!
BONG!!!!!
Fek’Lher:
I have not used "Fist" or "First" very much in the past two months. Of course I joined in when it was popular and maybe I overused the concept…….but anyone can see that I have choosen to go out on a "limb" to "protest" the concept of banning lame humor.
If lame humor is banned…all of Fat Penguin is going to look like MSNBC comments.
If the famed "filter" exists…then use that to ban "Fist".
However…..in the "Theatre of The Absurd" sometimes even a tired joke becomes funny just from overuse.
Ask Monty Python why they blow everything up.
I am pissed (for no good reason) about the concept of "banning" things without "warning".
Like any juvenile idiot I love to do what I’m told not to do.
It’s not the "Fist" that bothers me…it is the after the fact banning.
I have to concede the fact that if the entire site just became a series of "Fist" comments constantly then it would indeed damage WWTDD. However…this situation pisses me of for some reason
Over use of things gets tired quickly but then those overuses will move on….just ask Jacktion.
…and Jacktion….that is not really a dig at you….even though it reads like one.
Al, you just confused the crap out of me, because I didn’t say anything here at 15:43.
I figured it out though.
For those of you interested, on page 5 of eminem, it looks like I may be the first person to be banned for being relevant.
Observer, I actually like you ok, but all that shit about who is posting what…I just don’t fucking care. Brend0n and Leisa are going to fucking do what they think is best, and they don’t need our fucking permission to do it.
comedy central had some movie with denzel washington in it on yesterday. it also starred bob hoskins as a racist detective who recieved denzel’s heart in a transplant…and with it, his soul
Sounds like a horror movie to me.
Here are my other thoughts on todays events. After weeks of exhausting research, I think I have perfected my recipe for smelly farts: Oatmeal, breakfast, 2 Stella Artois beers for lunch, El Torito "Flaming Cuervo Fajitas" w/chicken, shrimp & steak, margarita, 2 glasses of milk. Wait 2 hours and get in an elevator. Bon Apetit!
huh?
Mr. Wayne, I just eat ice cream and I can clear out this office. A lactose intolerancy, although painful, helps emmensly.
My wife is lactose intolerant. Chocolate milk makes my bedroom The Bog of Eternal Stench.
His avatar:
http://www.royalchessmen.com/photos/trek/Klingon.jpg
Guinness is good for farts. Think that was their advertising slogan for a while.
CB, BRILLIANT!
if anything, “that site” makes me that much more thankful for “this site”…kind of like my TIGHT asshole, makes me thankful for my uncle’s TINY penis.
wait-what?
I go to these sites for the witty comments and waste time. I overlook the idiots, the fisting the misspelling etc. But sometimes both of these sites are so hysterical. Just the other night I was laughing my ass off when Dooter appeared, the place went ape shit on him. Well of course I was buzzed but it was a fun night nonetheless. I guess at my age I just don’t give a shit and its not worth it in the end.
Why do you assholes hvae to take this out on me?
Slappy…..
I do the same thing and the "dooter" fight was funny. A lot of the "other" fights were not.
I do skip over shit I don’t like….hell I skip over most of the stuff, if it is half as long as my rantings are today.
But what the fuck. "Banning"…..for some asinine reason…it has really pissed me off today.
it looks like I may be the first person to be banned for being relevant.
Did they seriously ban you for that? I’ve spent a shitload of time emailing useful non-Britney entertainment news links to Brend0n to help make his job easier and if you really got banned for being the voice of reason then Brend0n is DEAD2ME.
observer: if you run this site on a proxy, you don’t get any ads…might get aids, but no ads.
Robo, I haven’t been banned yet, but I’m about a comment or two away from it.
I WILL SHIT IN YOUR FISH TANK????
ROFLKOTAL!
Has anyone peeped the pic? You might get ads…I mean AIDS.
Jaction – I left a reference specifically for you in my ‘rejected tag line’ post in the Star Trek thread.
I just wanna bring the funny Fek
I know i’m pretty new but you can get banned for saying some thing ?
*chodin lowers the bong from his mouth*
you guys…this has been one heavy fucking day.
DOR SHO GAH! Opera browser renders me invincible for you puny human ads QAPLAH!
i wish that geroge washingto were here to settle this mess.
I don’t mind ads, Chodin.
In fact…that is my point. The longer I dwell on these sites the more ads I see and the longer I see them.
That is the advertising Gold Medal.
I actually plan to buy from Snorg T-Shirts soon.
Also…..did anyone see the story about the "real" identity of the Snorg T-Shirt girl and how she is frequently "recognized" by people who don’t know why they know her?
The Rent reference was for me, Stone?
I’m straight.
Really, I am!
The "real" identity?
Does she have a FIST alter ego too?
geroge washingto was the man, Kahless rest his soul.
I’m straight.
Really, I am!
Save it for judgement day, God hater.
If Rent is for queers then I’ll have to turn in my team uniform. I watched the first fifteen minutes of that movie, shut the shit off, and said, "Why don’t these whiney bitches just get a job and pay their fucking rent?"
I’d fist her…..
not really….I’ve never been a fan of anal.
Unless I receive.
Fek, when did you send me that message over there? After the "shit in your fish tank" line?
i watched the first fifteen minutes of “rent” and thought: how the fuck did everyone over at durden get a movie made about them!?
Anyone want to explain the "fist" thing to me or has that ship sailed?
I watched the first fifteen minutes of that movie, shut the shit off, and said, "Why don’t these whiney bitches just get a job and pay their fucking rent?"
Bingo. My wife is a singer/dancer/actress, so I have an extreme exposure to theater and show tunes for a straight guy. She brought the Rent soundtrack on a road trip we took when we were first dating. After the first couple songs I asked her "Is this show about people not paying rent and then complaining about being kicked out?"
suckme: it’s the best word in the world…coincidentally, it will get you banned from durden (thanks to our outlandish wise-cracking and senior pranks).
Rent is the only Braodway-style musical I’ve been able to sit through without wanting to rip off my own head. I let my wife drag me to a touring company production of Cats and within five minutes I would have traded my house for a giant burlap sack and a deep lake.
Rent is the only Braodway-style musical I’ve been able to sit through without wanting to fuck a chick.
My ex-girlfriend was obsessed with Rent, and I think it’s terrible. I think the music is bland and uninspired, and I refuse to watch it.
Oh and yeah, I’m straight, so I’m allergic to it.
SuckmeB; were you not present on October 5th for the Great Fisting of Over There? Should still be in the archives. Good times.
Wow, you remember the date, Charlie?
my ex-girlfriend was obsessed with “being a whore”. true story, she loved it.
Well if liking Rent makes me gay, then PASS THE ASS, BOYS!
To give you some context, you’re looking at a guy whose wife had the Mama MiaI soundtrack on constant loop in her car, to the point that our four year old (daughter, thank Christ) could sing along with half the songs. And that shit makes Rent sound like Quadraphenia.
Thanks Chuck.
I just read the posts over there, never the comments.
I prefer my dose of inapropriate to come from the Drunkards
Chodin:
I loved her for it as well.
It was a happy coincidence. Made a gag using the "Remember remember the fitth of November" speech from V for Vendetta. I remember lots of things. Good things. I suppress all the bad things, like childhood, etc.
observer: i honeslty wouldn’t hold it past her…actually, i bet all you fags fucked her.
you know, now that i think of it, she did smell like filmdrunk!?
Hey guys, did you hear the good news?
Good Luck Chuck is out on DVD!
CHOD- She wasn’t a little blonde that always yapped about how her boyfriend did nothing but hit the gym and play video games was she?
Observer
Sorry but the dooter and dooter’s Dad exchanges are the only making me laugh.
Chod, was she the chick who wore the t-shirt saying "chodin’s girlfriend"?
Dooteress Leissa makes no one laugh. She’s like Bergermeister Meisterberger on that Rankin Bass Christmas bummer puppet cartoon thing.
Check it out guys (I emailed this link to Brendon, since I’m not yet banned for saying the word [AHHHHHHHH!]):
http://www.tmz.com/2008/01/18/brad-renfro-the-last-tattoo
Brad Renfro died this week at the age of 25. The L.A. County Coroner tells TMZ Brad had a freshly inked tattoo across his back, that read, "FUCK ALL Y’ALL. Possibly a clue to Brad’s dark mood in the final days.
Renfro got the tattoo on Sunday. His body was found Tuesday.
He told you he was hardc0re.
The Day They Cut Off Santa’s Nutbag, I think it was called.
Robo that IS fucking ‘core.
I remember that one, Duke:
"I’m sorry kids, but thanks to the Herr Burgermeister, Santa’s big red sack is empty this year…"
Brad Renfro was from Knoxville. He was a Vol, dagnabbit. In Knoxville when you die they play "Rocky Top" at your funeral, with bagpipes, of course. For an extra $50 bucks "Smokey", the team mascot also comes and he rubs the eyes of his dog suit like he’s crying the whole time.
Blow my bag/pipe. That is all.
you guys, my ex was the chick who always wore that one shirt: “i’m a fucking “D” sucking whore” and the ass on her shorts said, “tooo hooootttt”.
you remember her, right?
Dooter’s Mom?
Shit Chod, you were dating her too?
cho, i always wanted to bone that bitch…sorry.
which one of you cracked her front tooth???
i thought it looked so cute.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot I are Legend finally opened here im gonna go get me some will smiff action tonite!
He dies in it. Spoiler Alert.
bex: you live in the past ???
Whoops, got that the wrong way round. Er, don’t grow too attached to the dog, either. Spoiler Alert.
Damn.
All I wanna know is if that deer gets killed by the lion.
Movie is decent, except the end. Kind of a short movie too. I like how he was paranoid to look at the porn movies.
yes approximatelly 6 monfs ago,
actually i live in mexico which is like the USA - 6 months of pop culture
and bex: he’s gay in it, too. he walks around all day sucking corpse dicks. fo’ real.
and i know about the brazilian chick too, but, i jst gotta get me some aww hell naw smiff
Do you think the director regrets the decision to go with CGI for the Darkseekers? Fuck me, the fight sequence with the ninja vampires at the start of Blade 2 was more realistic.
opening this weekend are I is Legend, 30 days of night and that one wih the killer puppets
Chuck, was that the only problem you had with Blade 2?
A Nightmare on Sesame Street?
corpse dicks
Are they stiff from the rigomortis?
Yes Charlie, I do think he regrets that. My friend now has it in Semi-HD, and they look terribly fake.
SuckmeB: No, but that was something that stood out a mile. Nice to see The Cat from Red Dwarf getting some work, though.
from Over there:
Male Boy:
Though I have also absolutely no respect for this scat eatin slut called Doctress "frustrated Tranny lickin’" Leisa, I must admit that these dooter thang really is a biggest scam here.
Poor loser makes 4 accountes here to be a star in a blog. Poor fuckers. Get some Ice cream from "Value" you hillbillys.
He is so cute!!
Over my head Chuck.
bex: keep your eyes peeled for this great flick called “hook” – you should be getting it any day now!
Male Boy is the boss pimp #1 over at the ? I am a big fan. He’s like the voice of reason, the anchor of truth, the over the counter anti-diarretic that solidifies the proverbial loose stools.
Oh i saw the previews, dustin hoffman, robin williams, julia roberts and directed by steven spielberg, I smell oscar!!
Danny John Jules was pretty funny in Red Dwarf (very popular in the 90s). Less so in Blade 2.
MaleBoy should have been employed as the moderator for that site, just for hs putdowns alone. He is 100 times funnier than Docstress, albeit unintentionally. I was convinced for a while that he was actually an act but i guess you just can’t fake genius.
Also bex, Boys In Da Hood is probably right around the corner. There’s this guy, Cuba Gooding Jr., watch out for this guy. I think he’s gonna blow up huge after this role. Maybe even win himself an oscar for something later down the road. Then I can really see him pulling off a comedy about a fag cruise liner trip. I’m telling ya. This dude has those kind of acting chops.
@Watanbex
There’s a movie called "Citizen Kane" ready to make a debut in Mexico. Spoiler: Rosebud was a sled.
we should make a goodwill convoy and rescue male boy and bring him here so we can torture him and induce him in the ways of the BTK
hey guys how bout that Jodie foster wow she is so cute, I’m sure that once she grows up and becomes a woman she is going to drive the boys crazy, am i right? :D
Please PM Him with any glaring omissions:
http://dirtyhairy.blogspot.com/2008/01/filmdrunking-by-mighty-feklhr.html
bex: keep your eyes peeled for the new star trek movie too – get this, in this one there’s a huge blue whale!
Looks good Fek. You did leave out CoTW though.
Shit, pretend that was PM’d to you, ‘kay?
Don’t they shoot different versions of films for Mexico? Like won’t Bex’s version of ‘Legend have Eric Estrada being the last man in Tijuana and his only friend is a [sexy] burro?
Fek – I believe Glen needs a mention on there, as he has become as much an icon here as anyone.
I’m glad my ‘Bird Rapists’ term made the cut, though.
Oh yeah – that was private – the rest of you forshak rapists ignore the post.
maleboy is fucking beautiful! this guy is the new dooter!
Duke, if that was true, I would kill to see that Eric Estrada movie.
Just don’t rape a parrot. They always tell.
fek good job
In Mexico, do you get a discount at the theater if you are a "Senor" Citizen?
actually here it is called a Mister Citizen
Wait, erswi is Jokerswild? Huh. Informative Fek
Yo hablo espanol, bentdicko! I know that when someone says "mucho gracias", the proper response is "denalgas", and "chinga tu madre" means have a nice day.
orale!! vamonos a pistear entonces
Immigration means run…wait, i think thats a regional thing.
God damn immigrants are ruining this country. Go back to where you came from!
Detroit?
In Mexico, pallabras translate you.
oh yeah and whos gonna pick yo tomatoes? the blacks? the jews? the chinks? yeah thats what i thought!!
In Mexico, do you have any Mexican Jews?
Chodin, MaleBoy has been resident over there for a year at least. He had a break and forgot his log in details so reregistered. He gave us "Why does he have a bear?" One of the great spelling mistakes of all time. When Paris Hilton got banged up in June – great day – he came up with the best line i’ve ever read over there, "Nervous like a fat kid that jerks off because his granny brings him cake." I’ll decipher that, one day.
…because I heard you only have lime jews, lemon jews, orange jews, pineapple jews, but no mexican jews.
oh yeah and whos gonna pick yo tomatoes? …the chinks?
Like they can see the God Damned tomatoes…
heheh, i got a kudos from Maleboy. I think i may swoon. I’m going to go nominate Richard now.
Male Boy was a total dooter when he showed up. The fucker is German or Dutch and when he first started it was like; when you type something into a translator, say English to Germen then translate it back to English. It was fucking awesome.
Fuck All Y’all
hey frenchfry! lol male boy is awesome
I think he sheepishly admitted to being South African, but had pretended to be European. Sometimes it can be difficult to keep track of the lies you tell.
Anyone on here? No, we’ll then let me de-pants and commence cummensing.
The Jolly Green Giant doesn’t wear pants. At least the one in my fantasies doesn’t.
Do no such thing, soylent. You have been AWOL. I’d go talk to human resources if I were you.
Scat on you Chopin duche you fraggle masterbater!
Well on the job it’s a leafy toga my mom made me, but when I’m relaxing I put on my hello kitty pj’s (b/c they make me feel sexy and the pink accents my skin tone).
BOOSH!
Yeah busy at work, but today we had a guitar hero tournament to boost moral (my idea). Next month its HALO. I wonder if this has any correlation to our stock tanking. PS. Open a CD with WAMU online for the best rates available.
I have absolutely NO moral at work currently. No morale either.
Soylent
Any relation to Collard?
Oh shit, it’s the Police! Cheese it!
I’m at work, working on a buzz
7+7=Heaven
Or Tom?
I, uh, don’t mean to be a stickler, pauly, but 7+7=13.375
Just sayin’
morale is down here too we used to have quake3 installed but they made us remove it
I take no finacial advice from a giant asparagus stalk from whoes loin’s seed sprouts a bounty of vegetables. Unless you happen to be Warren Buffett.
Nom,
moral is to oral
as morale is to
shut the fuck upI CANT SPELLZyou can watch moral orel at http://www.adultswim.com/video/index.html
Enough 7 and 7′s and that will be my BAL.
LoC to da brain, insane, everyday all day it’s BTK
For the Record:
My highest recorded BAL was .33
My highest BAL was "fuck no I won’t take a breathalyzer"
My highest BAL was "Sir do you know you just drove into a restricted access zone on Patrick Air Force Base and the mirror on your door is hanging by a chord. Have you been drinking"My response, "How I gets home, mleeb sleeeeeee…..?
True Story that was my 23rd birthday.
7&7, my jet fuel of choice. Drunken 7&7 name progression; "Pardon me gov’na A Seven and Seven, please." "Hey, another Fourteen, please. Get it har har. 7&7 is fourteen. kyuk." "Fourtheen, lottsa Segrams." "Fohdeehn, no eysh, all shegrmmmms, n a crazy shtah!"
Here’s me at a bar:
Uhhh, ya got any Natty Lite?
Well when they find you passed out on a bus stop in front the bar you drunk yourself into a stuper at, and call the ambulance. They kinda sorta take your blood to test it at the ER.
I say "let me get a 7 and 7, and make it more like 11 and 3".
Wow. You need to make a change in your life. Try shooting up Jim Beam in the mainline. That oughtta fix it!
http://dirtyhairy.blogspot.com/2008/01/filmdrunking-by-mighty-feklhr.html
Updated! QAPLAH! (Still accepting critiques)
That was something I actually saw someone do once, by the way.
I once pissed in my friend’s suit case, thinking it was a toilet, while fucked in half drunk in Cancun. He was less than amused.
You passed out on a .33 BAC? What were you like 13? (say yes or you’re a pussy fag and I have to pull a pube.)
Fek, of course you realize that is an incomplete list, to say the least.
Yes, I passed out. I went to the hospital involuntarily. They took my BAL 8 hours after they found me so they estimated my BAL to be in the high .40′s.
Yeah, Fek I know I’ve been AWOL for a while but jeez.
I’m just upset I wasn’t on there Fek.
Yeah, Nom, I know! THAT IS WHY I WANT YOU GUYS TO PITCH IN! Don’t be such a warm cat piss drinker!
And how many newbies have been on here since my absence. Any of them stand out as actually funny?
I care not of my name showing up, but no filmdrunk list is complete without a definition of "Dursted" or some variation of.
The idea wasn’t to list each Filmdrunkard and describe them, I only expounded where I felt expoundationity was necessary.
GUYCHA!
I prefer my cat piss neat, room temp, high ball. With a FUCKING crazy straw!
I’m a funny newbie
Actually Soylent, there are some new players on the block. Pauly Dangerously is holding up his end, bne_pro has shown himself to be a slugger, and lets not forget the chicks: Al and ChinoMoreno. I know I’ve missed some, but don’t cry, I just hate you.
It was the night the last Rocky came out (which I finished a 5th of hennessy in the movies watching it). Then I went to the bar where I got "the hook-up" and was pounding Jager, Patron, more Henny and pitchers of XX Amber for 6 hours. I am no light weight.
Fek, don’t forget "Aslan is on the move"
Oh, and you haven’t lived til you met Marc Summers. He’s crazy. Prolly scizophrenic too.
good stuff!
Yow’nt know me, bitch!
I’m just yankin’ your cock Fek. I think you got it down except for the Durst thing which Nom pointed out.
And I like my cat piss on
your facethe rocks, with a twist of limon.Yes I do. Fuck off and die.
It’s so nice to be lumped into that flattering and descriptive pile of "the chicks". You forgot to mention I’m hysterically funny. But I had an "off" day today so you’re forgiven. This time.
OH FEK, do not forget the incredible Bruce Greenwood. That was the best thread on this site I ever read. And Bruce Greenwood is a classic actor of great depth and madnitude.
Yes, I lumped you into a lovely lady lump.
Fek;
Serious cat, Homophobic Turtle, Birfday dawg!!!
Nukka
Yeah , I agree with Al. So nice to be in the pile of chicks..wait,what?
I concur with the green freak. The Bruce Greenwood thread was the best thread ever. The Lazytown invasion of With Leather was the funniest extra curricular activity.
Crap-I am actually going to take a pass on those since they are technically Lance’s creations, and Lance is a fag.
But Durst was a worthy contribution from Dr. Mangina.
BTW, updated!
http://dirtyhairy.blogspot.com/2008/01/filmdrunking-by-mighty-feklhr.html
Welp, that’s my 2nd pint of Seag’s which means I gotta hit the road. I will fuck with you guys (and lumpy ladies) on Monday or if I’m on this weekend. Tootles, Ramen Noodles.
oooo, db’s dead nazi mother?
True true, and bryce’s grandmother that gag still runs
John Wayne" Devo Hat at 17:14:
Funny……..
Dooteress Leissa makes no one laugh. She’s like Bergermeister Meisterberger on that Rankin Bass Christmas bummer puppet cartoon thing.
I can’t figure out why I care so much……but today really pissed me off like you can’t believe (or care).
BTK ALL DAY, EVERY DAY, TILL THE DAY I DIE
Hey Nom you think Denny Rader bumped some Brutha Lynch or Mr. Doctor?
…what about alters….
Fuck off Basket!
Hey, Hustla’d getting sacked for filmdrunking.
You see, Observer, none of this shit should matter that much. No one should be upset-over what? Prank comments on a celebrity blog? I thought the purpose of these places was to write smart ass shit and try to make each other laugh. Well, that and meet young boys who want to get in my van.
Maleboy is not the new Dooter. He is the original, or Dooter is the new original?
You have a van, ooooooooh! Do you have any candy?
That was some retarded shit. A bunch of cliqueish fucks getting their bowels into a flare because of some random posting. The DL jumping up onto her uppity b itch pedastle and getting all Judge Judy. WTF? She used to be funny, now she want sto mother hen a batch of halfwitted commenters having a friday fuckoff?
Be pissed Ob. Fuck ‘em if they can’t take a joke.
dooter is the new Male Boy. But they are very different and fascinating creatures.
Jacktion is the old LadyBoy.
I’ve got candy and all the latest video games, too. Ever play "Alter Boy Hero"?
OOOH oooh!!! Me! I do! I always wanted to swing the smoking ball dangle thingy. I could naver be an alter boy because I wouldn’t take it in the ass for a Snikers bar.
Hey… you don’t want me in that van for…
Alter Boy Hero…please please tell me you have a premise for this game?
I went to mass on Christmas Day and was surprised to see altar girls. Nice to see the Catholic church being so progressive.
Hey, I forgot how to type/spell. I Male Boy’d out there for a second.
Fuck you fek, I am responsible for Durst. Look it up, he gave me credit in one of the early CotW. Look it up, I been using it for years.
Let me guess you can only get to the bonus round by taking a Levitra you dirty old man.
And Dennis Rader was probably listening to X-raided.
Best one was "You FIST you are gone-take it elsewhere". It was like she was channeling Dean Wermer or something.
Also, you should include "FUCK MIKE!!". Personally I like chodins explaination of it best.
WooHoo!!! My "guy" just called me back,
……/ YEYOWZA!!!!
Out!
you hear me fek? Durst is my baby!!!
That’s true Nom did come up with the Durst as a verb. I recall b/c I had to look up Fred Durst on Wiki b/c I forgot all about him. It said, giant bag of doosh responsible for such lyrical melodies as "…" Actually, I cant remmember any. Didn’t he bang Britney Spears though…he dursted her.
Thank you soylent. It was originally coined as "Fred Dursted it", but it didn’t roll off the tongue as easily. It was to replace "Jumped the Shark".
Durst is Nom’s baby. As a possesive noun= your a fag. As a verb= funny guy who may or may not have gay tendencies acted out in dark places like movie theaters and my closet when I’m sleeping. That is you right b/c my dad said he stopped doing that months ago.
And as a gerund?
Can you read that last comment. I wrote it in inviseeble’ font. It describes how awesome I am b/c my shirt say’s "Awesome" on it.
Oh yes please – can someone explain who "Mike" is? Sorry I’m late on that.
Well al, you probably know someone named mike. He probably sucks right? Well, FUCK MIKE!!
soylent, are you sure thats not a sprout fart in that box?
Oh, Al, I just found that post it note. Never seen my net handle written by hand before. AWESOME!!
I only assume blank posts to symbolize JWiaDH’s fart wind. But, if in fact, this "inviseeble" font exists, I should utilize it for future papers that I never intend to write. Makes a great excuse, while claiming the intellectual high-ground: "Oh, I’m sorry you can’t read this (you prole), it’s in inviseeble font. Apparently your knowledge only expands so far as your greasy comeover, you fat fuck!" And then I’d run away.
Why is Charlie Bronze up so late, and on here, on a Friday night?
"fucking Mike"=gerund phrase?
http://dirtyhairy.blogspot.com/2008/01/filmdrunking-by-mighty-feklhr.html
Eibmoz, Lalala, Al, Butters (and a few others)
Jaysus Christ, Fek. What is this, Gilligan’s Island? I’m "a few others"? Thanks a lot, you piece of baktag.
Technically, BK, fek is right. You arent really a female til I’ve had sex with you. God I hope lalagb isn’t on here, she’ll hit me.
You arent really a female til I’ve had sex with you.
So, Jacktion! is a female? (ZING!)
No, he’s not, but I was dressed in a miniskirt so it doesn’t count.
So, Nommy, am I man then? The Filmdrunk rules of gender are so confusing.
BK: Don’t worry yourself with Fek’s unfortunate over-sight. He does that when people aren’t willing to bend their integrity and submissively worship Him.
I praise You, oh Mighty One! (Please don’t whip me!)
Look guys, if we start getting in the details of who I’ve done, then my theory will collapse. Just accept it a doctrine, and not make me look bad. Thats all I’m saying. Whoever you are, I’ve already told someone that I’ve done you. Lets not make an ass out of me. Shit.
He does that when people aren’t willing to bend their integrity and submissively worship Him.
I did! I am! This oversight is egregious. I’m the only one left off. I’m going to flounce from the CKT and NO ONE WILL CARE. THAT’LL SHOW YOU ALL. SHOW YOU REAL GOOD.
And this wireless keyboard is really starting to piss me off. Either type stuff or don’t. There is no middle ground, keyboard.
I imagine that a threeway among Nommy, Jacktion!, and Fek would be the angriest group sex imaginable. Kittens would weep and tiny pandas would suffer third degree burns, such is the extent and scope of their rage-filled sexual exchanges.
I’m nominating that butters. For I am Nominus!
tiny pandas would suffer third degree burns
I doubt it. Have you seen a panda? Those fuckers are vicious. A panda would just as soon rip your dick off as watch you have hate sex with two guys off your MySpace friends list.
No one said the pandas and kittens would have to be anywhere near the rage-loving.
He also left out Koru. Tsk Tsk.
Nommy: Confuscious say "One must first make an ass of himself before one can make an ass of him." Think about it.
BK: If you decide to snap post-man style, please consider all those times I’ve done, like, nice stuff for you. Or whatever. Don’t shoot me. Please. Not so much because I have "such a full life ahead of me" as I’m terribly allergic to bullets. They make me break out in yucky hives, and who wants that? Right…?
Oh, right. Like you weren’t going to group fuck in front of a panda. Don’t pretend I don’t know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking "Hey, we have all this bamboo, why not."
I’m here to tell you: Pandas Will Rip Your Dick Off
And that last one was aimed at Nominus, by the way. And I like that Butters is terrified that I’m going to stab her. And I thought Koru was one of you already? Or am I confusing Lala with someone else?
THIS IS WHY WE NEED THE MATCHING SATIN JACKETS. TICKLE CLUB NEEDS ORGANIZATION.
I’m here to tell you: Pandas Will Rip Your Dick Off
Small price to pay for the fulfillment of one’s fantasies. VERY small price to pay.
BK: You’re telling me! A panda ripped off my dick once…and now I am a woman. My Vietnamese whore mother was very disappointed that day.
Thank you, Nommy. I feel I owe you something non-blow job related…or do I?
And yes, Fek did leave out Koru as well. I suppose she didn’t worship hard enough. FOR THE LOVE OF
GODFEK, WORSHIP HARDER LEST WE ALL DIE!!Nom: Hey-yo!
BK: Don’t hurt me…*affects a facial expression not unlike that of a terrified gerbil*
I fucked a panda one time, but it didn’t rip my dick off because I’d already hacked off it’s arms, but it did squeeze me pretty hard with it’s furry little butt cheeks.
JWiaDH: You have so many mental diseases, I can’t even begin…and, yet, your anecdote speaks to the universal human condition. Some might call you a "poet". Others, a "lunatic". I call you "Shirley".
As long as he’s not called late for dinner. And don’t call me shirley.
Have any of you guys actually read some of Fek’s blog postings…he’s like Henry Miller but only if Henry dropped out of school and started drinking heavily. And only banged toothless fatties and not french whores.
Oh, we DO have fun, don’t we!
…DON’T WE?!
At your behest, Soylent Greenz, I will find the link. (Why must copying and pasting be so difficult!)
I mean Henry Miller was a drunken whore monger, but he was classy.
http://dirtyhairy.blogspot.com/2008/01/filmdrunking-by-mighty-feklhr.html
Go to candyland dumpster blowjob
If even half these blog posts are real I am now uncomfortable and scared. Remember what I said a page ago about Gilligan’s Island and hating you? Ha ha! Joke!
Thank you, Soylent Greenz! As for the post, and I’m not saying this under pain of death and/or torture (for once), but The Mighty One is indeed…quite mighty. And one.
I agree. He’s sort of a Henry Miller Lite.
Fek’s blog: "To me it doesn’t even fucking matter, for all I care you can make the entire front line gay guys with AIDS and hope the splatter takes out a few enemies in the long term."
Such is Fek’s glorious fantasy. Kahless would be proud.
Fek is a big ol’ corn fed motherfucker and looks like he probably knows a thing or two about wrestling. I’m just saying, by the time you hear the sound of the duct tape ripping, it’s probably too late.
I agree. He’s sort of a Henry Miller Lite.
I read that like 5 minutes ago and thought it was pure ass kissing. NOW I GOT THE JOKE.
I had to look up (on Wikipedia) who Henry Miller was. I’m not so much stupid, as I am a cunt.
Is it Miller Time yet?
Personally,
Ben Affleck made sure no one else was around as he slid softly into his poodle costume.
is probably my new favorite sentence of all time.
Favorite sentence uttered by me was in response to a question at a job interview. "What is Teamwork?"
Individuals performing complimentary tasks in order to achieve a larger, shared goal.
It just came out, still remember it.
It’s worthy of Websters IMFO
holy shit…i just got done toasting the english muffin of my boss, and let me tell you: fek’s blog made me shit blood.
that was pure, unadulterated truth, fek.
BK: You’re right, that sentence is strangely fulfilling. So smooth, the way it just slips off the tongue. Not unlike my Vietnamese whore mother.
Nommy: I’ve written to Webster’s, just this instant, supporting your suggestion. I hope the rabbit blood-corn husk combo I fashioned into a crude fountain pen won’t affect the sincerity of what I proposed–the sloppy, dark-red lettering may not be subtle and refined enough for their collective pallettes (sp?) to handle.
Fek left me off the list. I’m sad.
No need Butters. Websters won’t have anything to do with me since that letter I sent them demanding they put the word "niggardly" back in there little book. It’s the thought that counts though.
Yeah, and Chino, too! Goddamn it. Why are we "and the rest."? I’m telling you what, I call The Professor and you and Koru can fight over who gets to be Mary-Ann.
I wanna be Mrs. Howell. Cha-ching!
So Jacktion is a female? (ZING!)
Didn’t you readit Beek? I believe it said something along the lines of "Jacktion! is the manliest of the Filmdrunkards"
I believe that means that I get to choose my mate fist, I mean, first.
I AM THE ALPHA MALE!
I choose dooter.
I AM THE ALPHA MALE!
Please don’t pee on my leg. I only allow territory marking in the form of Cheetohs.
I wanna be Mrs. Howell. Cha-ching!
She wasn’t one of "and the rest." Well, I guess technically neither were The Professor and Mary Annnnn! after they changed the theme song. I know way too much about crappy tv shows. Please ignore me.
What are you bastards doing here? I was sitting on chatzy by my fucking self with my thumb up my ass!
Oh shit guys, Bryce is here!
Let’s go hide on chatzy!
I’ve got to get going, I need to try to have a life. I shall see you all at some point in the future.
Perhaps I’ll stop by after I get home if you Westies are still up.
John Wayne…………I read your comment.
So comforting in this time of troubles……….and ….to hear that you have a van…..sweet.
Are the windows tinted?
To be honest….the thing that pisses me off the most today?
My crackers are stale and I’m too lazy to go to the supermarket until tomorrow.
Crackers……and the ominous threats of Mother Doctress……
You watch it Jack I will end you!!!
So you sick fuckers went and had the word F!ST banned on that site wiffout me and had all kinds of fun fuckin with the Doctress and now I’m a day late and a fuckin dollar short, and you bastards are self proclaimed legends of the internet?
WELL FUCKIN DONE MY DRUNKEN BRETHREN. YOU FUCKERS MAKE ME TEAR UP WIFF PRIDE!
I APPLAUD YOU!!!!
If I were her and had all sort of scary power over the internets, I would definitely be trying to erase my last 20 comments that chronicle every minute of my nervous breakdown. Whattadouche.
*dash* *dash-dash-dash* *dash* *dash*…
…oh fuck this shit, i don’t know morse code: is there anybody out there!?!?
I’m "out there" but I’m not anybody.
I am now "Nobody".
Erswi, I also was not around for that. I guess they did accomplish something, huh?
It seems as though with our combined power . . . WE COULD RULE THE WORLD! MUWAHAHAHAHAHA! or we could at least send a sexually frustrated radio hostess into a complete nervous breakdown. Yay us.
BTK, Duke - that smelly fart recipe. totally nominated but you might add olives. they work wonders.
I showed up late without reading all the posts and was automatically put on "Double Secret Probation". Serious stuff, boys.ÂÂ
Shit I meant to say F!ST. . . Dammit.
So, what happens over there now if you say Fist?
Well it wouldn’t have been funny, original or clever if you had said it, ERSWI. Just ask "ham sandwich". That fucker doesn’t just know funny-they live it. They fuckin’ live the funny, man.
Nominus:
You get banned…….. and if you care …you have to set up a new account…maybe using a dot beside your old name.
At least that’s what the experts tell me.
I’m over here today copying Gay Muslim jokes to send to my brother in Afghan-land.
Well, Nom, no one really knows. Depends on whether or not Kyle Bradlofski’s mom is present or not.
What I’m most afraid of in the banning…..is that I’ll lose my big-titted avatar.
I disguise myself over here with the hairy one.
I am still pissed that I wasn’t here for the gay muslim parade. I read that shi-ite on my phone while eating the fart meal. Abdul the Camel Guy was even impressed and is stealing all those jokes for his Abu Grab Ass Tour.ÂÂ
If that fucker Fek is still looking for advice;
He needs to Hahden the fuck up!
I would advise Fek to mention ALL the ladies. He hurt some of our feelings. WAH.
You were mentioned Chino… I think… where the fuck am I?… What the fuck is that?
It’s coming right at me!!!! AAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!
I just read the other site. Some people think they are moderators, but last week when I made one of my ranty, not fisting, but expanding, metaphorical comments of absurdity, SOMEONE made it seem like I was crashing the site. This makes the so called pseudo-moderators lose the high ground. You know, like the valley dwellers who talked a lot of shit about their "moderate" climate and then suffered when the flood came… yeah I’m getting biblical… I’ll stop. How ’bout them Leafs, eh?
You were mentioned Chino… I think
Oh no. It really stung. Really really stung.
Not really, but you know.
Jeeze Louise! My fucking Filmdrunk blog os a work in progress…no need to get touchy, people (especially the ladies). I’ma gonna work on it as soon as I sober up. (Just kidding, I haven’t sobered up in 15 years)
BONG!!!!!!!!!!!
Why start now? It is called FilmDRUNK, ya know! But If you can give your fifi a break for a second, you should try to honor all the FilmDrunk ladies!
Wait…AGB is back? I am confused. Lalalala.
Yeah, yeah, you are on the fucking list now!
http://dirtyhairy.blogspot.com/2008/01/filmdrunking-by-mighty-feklhr.html
BTW-Soylent, was there something in particular about the Candyland dumpster blowjob post you found interesting. Sadly enough, the "real life" stuff I write in that blog is 100% true. :( Jellybean Tempo Monk
…
Dor sho gha! JENKEM!
My computer broke so I lost all my info and had to system something something… I’m not technology friendly. I forgot my password for lalala… back to agb.
updated for jenkem, et al!
http://dirtyhairy.blogspot.com/2008/01/filmdrunking-by-mighty-feklhr.html
lalala is gone. Might want to hahden the frig up and change the lalala on your site Fek
Ok, Fek. You are back on my Christmas list.
QAP’LAH!
Actually, I don’t think you explained that one so I am not sure what I just said. Hope I didn’t offend anyone.
Dude, wtf? The Mighty Fek’lhr bets a pound of Ferengi testicles that if you just ask fucking Lance Mangina he can help your ass out with logging on as lalala (if that is what you want). Until then, He will post a yIntagh disclaimer.
GUY CHA! He didn’t put fucking qaplah on that list?????????????????
BTW, did I mention I am shitfaced fucking drunk right now? GERONIMOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Listen. I have 3 cheques (spelled correctly) to take to the bank and they’ve been sitting around for many, many moons (seeing as I am unemployed). Basically my laziness has made it so that my name is agb again. That being said, if anyone wants to email on my behalf, meh…
I like my picture of a cat with an antigrav backpack too much to change right now. Look, kitty be flyin’ high.
I need to sleep now. Good night everyone. Dablideedoooo! (it’s a happy sound).
Wha ha ha! He even included "picture books for retards" without anyone reminding Him!
Fek’lhr-1
FD-0
GUY CHA! He didn’t put fucking qaplah on that list?????????????????
Ok, so I take that to mean that you owe me! ROFLKOTAL!
This shit is fun.
Sleep tight, AGB (Lalala)
Yeah, well I beat you to "picture books for retards", so I don’t owe you shit!!!!!!!!
Did I mention how drunk I am anywhere in this universe in this space/time continuum?
I swear! I am fucking done for the night! QAPLAH!
I don’t know what "picture books for retards" is but feel free to send me a refresher.
This is how it goes in my picture book:
Chino +1
Fek 0
But there is still a chance for redemption…Are you feeling lucky?
Fek, don’t worry. We’re all going to reregister tomorrow as "Girl #1," "Girl #2," etc., so that we no longer have to trouble all you menfolk with names and personalities. I mean, all us girls are just the same, LOL! Full of fuzzy kitten love and unicorns and sprinkles!
Jack! Are you back or are you still out having a life?
BK: Don’t forget the tickle fights and Epiladies.
Wow, Chino. Only ten minutes early.
Impressive.
My wife used an Epilady once
it was bloodier than Britney! BOOSH!
Once, when my sister and I got into a big argument, she used an epilady on the back of my head while I was asleep.
What do you mean 10 minutes early?
I had a roommate who would use her Epilady in our living room on a regular basis. Hairy Grossness.
Oh, and Nominus, here’s what will more than likely happen to you if you say fist over there:
Chino, I mean that you asked if I was back a mere ten minutes before I turned the computer on, after arriving home.
In other words, you have good timing.
Thanks. I got that right after I posted that. What were you out doing? Cattin’ around town?
I CAN’T GET OFF THE COUCH OR THE COMPUTER. HELP.
So, where do you think Al is at? Do you worry that maybe she lost her keys again and her jih-anitor has the night off?
I was doing what Jacktion’s do best; singing karaoke.
Duke! What up? Why all the caps?
Hopefully, Al’s having fun doing whatever she’s doing. I worry about you gals when you’re on the computer all weekend.
Jack! What did you sing? I have a friend who ALWAYS sings Sister Christian. Gets the crowds going every.single.time. Go figure.
FIST!
The evenings and weekends are all I can do for fear of losing my jobby-job. I’ve got a mortgage, ya know!
Chino, my brother-in-law went to school in Montana, and he said that one of the two radio stations he could pick up played Sister Christian constantly.
I however sang two oldies, and two songs that are kind of gay: Monday, Monday by The Mamas and Papas; The Gypsy Cried by Lou Christie; Why Georgia Why by John Mayer; and Hey There Delilah by the Plain White T’s.
You said FIST. Good thing Doctress isn’t over here. You’d be outtie. SCARY!
Just kidding. Goodnight fellow fucktards.
I’m kind of a karaoke guy. I go every week on Fridays. Sometimes I go more often.
Good night, Devo Duke!
Sweet. What about California Dreamin’? Good jam. Aren’t the Plain White T’s a new, younger type band? Am I out of it?
Yes, they’re a new-ish punk band, but this was their acoustic song. The bartender askes me to sing it sometimes, and Rule #1 of karaoke club is that you sing whatever the bartender asks you to sing.
Cool. I need to listem to some newer stuff. Hey, did yo take a dig at old Chino last night when you said something about big, dorky singers being sexy??
I said listem! heh. Whatever.
No, I was talking about me. I’m a big, dorky singer.
At least I’m big in regards to the size of my dorkiness.
Otherwise, I’m just a tall, thin, dorky singer.
^Please tell me you didn’t queef in that box.
How did I post an empty comment? Oh well, I guess that is not atypical. Okay, you have a good night!
You are so dirty!
(does it smell? I am so embarrassed)
Ok, good night!
Or as they say in England: Good night!
It smells, but not unpleasantly.
(You know you’ve been single too long when you welcome the smell of vaginal farts.)
Nice!! Ok, see you this weekend, maybe. But not because I don’t have a life. Cuz I do. I DO, I DO, I DO!!!
(was that very believable?)
No.
Not in the least.
Call me!
and tiny pandas would suffer third degree burns, such is the extent and scope of their rage-filled sexual exchanges.
Good thing I’ve got this casing made out of Inconel 625 then, so I don’t get hurt while I’m watching this shizz and texting my brohams.
R U HAVIN A GR8 NIGHT? ALONE N CRNR OF MASS ORGY.
YES GR8 NIGHT! SANG 2 LEGIT 2 QUIT @ KARAOKE!
is it 1-800-SIR-MIX-A-LOT or 867-5309??
Since Brend0n can’t post about any shit that’s actually interesting:
Regulators! Mount up! Nate Dogg paralyzed after suffering a stroke http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1579891/20080118/nate_dogg.jhtml
And here’s some of the questions you get asked by scientology auditors http://radaronline.com/exclusives/2008/01/tom-cruise-scientology-sec-whole-track-questionnaire.php#more
And since Fek didn’t credit me for saving the rec center, he is D2M (erswi came up with D2M right?). The rec center isn’t going to save itself, you bo’Degh rapist.
i saw I Am Legend the Smiff is back baby!!!, fucking loved it, fuck you chodin for saying it sucked, it was way better than what i thought it would be
good night everybody its time for me to go to bed, and you know what happens when bexx goes to bed? he sings:
Now it’s time to say good night
Good night Sleep tight
Now the sun turns out his light
Good night Sleep tight
Dream sweet dreams for me
Dream sweet dreams for you.
Close your eyes and I’ll close mine
Good night Sleep tight
Now the moon begins to shine
Good night Sleep tight
Dream sweet dreams for me
Dream sweet dreams for you.
lick my ballsFree Schick™ Quattro™ Titanium™™™ razor (Extra ™ means extra EXTREME!)
http://www.schickquattro.com/sample/
You can shave and/or BTK with it. Dunk it in the toilet?
4 titanium coated blades + 1 edging blade? Personally, i think the cutthroat razor is due a comeback. Hey, somebody get onto the marketing people of the Sweeney Todd movie.
guten tag. (back in a bit) going to read through the thread for anything i might-a missed.
chazz, my wife is a brilliant hair stylist. she’s got that straight razor in her bag of cutting implements…
wow. i can’t believe i’m the only one awake today…what do you people have? LIVES?
bne, you have got to be shitting me. My wife is a stylist too. Well, she doesn’t work as one anymore, but she still practices. And yeah, she’s got one of those fold out straight razors. It’s seriously weird how certain types of people end up here.
what’s really unprecedneted is the proliferation of architects, engineers and so on. but the fact that our wives share career stuff in common as well…well that’s just uncanny.
i won’t mention the obvious parallels among our spouses which are, i would think, be ‘givens’.
they’re all HOT, for example.
I don’t do anything, and my wife doesn’t exist.
I think there’s a correlation there, too.
Yes, my wife does possess the type of body parts and face that is prized by superficial males. Another amazing coincidence: Both Myself and Erswi have been shot with rocksalt while looting fields of weed. I guess it’s some kind of tendencies among our type of people that make us all gravitate toward the same place. Is it a coincidence that we all are connoisseurs of comedy who take pride in our funny? I’m not sure, but I blame George Bush either way.
Sorry for the unstructured conversation.
not at all. not at all. and i’m sure you’re right. it’s bush’s fault. him or his kind…
i suppose the fact that he sat in the white house for TWO TERMS…THEY definitely have the power…makes me ill to think about it. i wish they would all just fucking DIE already and let us have the helm. ‘Nom! good to see ya. i see you’re showing up to work in your underwear…again…well, try to find some pants if a client happens by. oh, and you missed this morning’s smoke-down meeting…so here’s the rest of my chillum.’
Don’t apologise for unstructured conversations. Unstructured conversations are my bread and butter. Coincidently, bread and butter is also my bread and butter.
i love tropicana pure premium orange juice. it tastes JUST LIKE freshly-squeezed…
like having an orchard in your back yard…
I need a title for a poem about Medea killing her kids. Anyone? Anyone?
"Oops, I did it again."
anti-grav: i’m sure i missed in the thread whether you’re a chick, a dude, a dork, a dooter, a robot or what, but i don’t believe i’ve had the pleasure…welcome (back if you’re a replicant alter evil-ego). what’s for breakfast?
‘where was the
nannymanny’ ?I’m a girl. I’m Lalala, or Lalala was me because I was this first. I forgot my password for Lalala when I had to fix my computer by getting everything restarted like the computer is just out of the box. It isn’t the first time this has happened… I’m allowed to say first right? because now I’ve said first twice, no three times. No four times, because I said I was myself first… gah! five times!
Breakfast. I had tea and soft boiled eggs with toast. Yum! Now I am writing poetry to distract from the article I need to have written for the school paper I work for. The deadline is today. The
… article is about the humour of death and sex.
‘you want another?’
‘yes!’
‘are you finished?’
‘not. even. close. BUD.’
‘fine, that’s one more.’
‘you really think i give a shit?’
i’m sorry i missed the totally fist-endicular rantings that went on yesterday…
I missed most of it. I kind of expressed my opinion by following Doctress’ rules for posting to a ‘T’ in a really roundabout way.
It’s funny though, I followed her rules once before and she jumped down my throat. I’m waiting for her to do it again. Check. And. Mate.
how about (for your poem)
‘can we take this one back? (the telltale heart of a wedding gift tale)
death and sex: ’cause nothing sets you up for dissapointment better…’
Or. "Post-partum Abortions: A How To Guide"
No idea if I spelled that right.
I’m looking at a pack of gum. It makes me wonder:
If it’s "The same great flavor" then how is it "EXTRA"?
God I hate gum.
I once bought "Extreme Whitening Toothpaste". Like, so extreme it may kill you! It didn’t make my teeth any whiter.
i think it’s ‘partem’. with that angle you can discuss the duality of the ‘partem’ of mom from child and lover to ‘woman scorned’. make it Jason’s fault, that cheating run-off-and marry-another-bitch so-and-so…
The poem is done. It’s just the title. I suck at titles.
‘don’t fuck with a woman scorned’
I wonder if anybody has a patent on some kind of cheap childproof packaging for matches. If not, I’m gonna come up with something. I figure if it’s cost effective, then all matches would have to start being sold in them, and If I had the patent…well, you know. And anyone that didn’t sell matches in a childproof package would then look like an evil son of a bitch.
I’ll think of something. Talk to youse guys later. (I’m pretending I’m in the Mafia)
HOw about "I think I read somewhere that babies like to die"
"How to keep your kids from growing up rotten"
i’m going to get blown out today and watch movies.
’cause i don’t give a fuck’
i guess my avatar doesn’t lend much credence to my ‘core’ attitude.
Mine does. Do you know how long it took me to carve my name on Morgan Spurlock’s forehead?
So, are we gonna try to get this sucker up to 35 pages by the end of the weekend?
hahahahhahahha! dammit, jack that’s funny.
absolutely. it’s a beautiful sunny day here. and it’s 12 fucking degrees. this kid isn’t going ANYwhere.
i take it back, it’s not 12 deg. it’s 19. i should be thankful.
The title is:
Furnace
I think I might go to the grocery store and force them to sell me items at the price in which they are marked. 0.99 cents? That is quite a deal. I’m gonna make a killing selling these things back to them.
very cryptic, nommy. are you up to no good?
i think i just now read the descripto for FD. that lance is a funny one. if he, in fact, wrote that…
No, not up to no good, I’m just thinking about teaching morons lessons. It’s a favor really. True, it fills me with rage when I see something like pricetags advertising something as being for less than one cent, when they clearly meant it to be 99 cents. Where did they get that cent sign anyway? That is one ASCII code that I do not know.
If I was him, I’d be changing the site description almost as often as I change avatars.
FILMDRUNK.COM is a place where about dozen or so terminally unhirable chronic masturbators come to unashamedly exhibit their anti-social behavior and spelling errors.
FILMDRUNK.COM is a ‘community’ (in the loosest sense of the word) of
gaysguys andgaysgals who share thiersexual analexperiences, strengthof language of stomach of character, and hopeto get laid for anal for acceptanceto fight thiercommon enemyproblem, which isnot being funnyeach othertoo much damn time on thier hands and fuck mike!and to comment on lance mangina’s mangina.FilmDrunk is here because
Hollywood spends so much of its time on circle jerks and self fellation that it occasionally needs to be wanged in the proverbial ding dongDoctress Leisa banned us all from wwtdd.no way is this thing getting to 35 pages at this rate
‘doctress‘…hmf. can’t say as i ever really believed in the good doctor(ess). now, kitten, on the other hand…RRRAWR!
morning from los angeles, you dick-shifters!
The commenting picks up at night because all the nerds on here are afraid to go out, for fear that they may be wedgied to death.
morning chodders.
‘say that ‘minds me…’
i haven’t smoked any since…um…
at LEAST over an hour ago…
how’m i going to get ‘blown out’ @ this rate?
FilmDrunk is here because
Hollywood spends so much of its time on circle jerks and self fellation that it occasionally needs to be wanged in the proverbial ding dongDoctress Leisa banned us all from wwtdd.Jack, that was the most beautiful strikeout that I’ve seen in a long time. And I’ve seen a guy poke himself in the eye with a poolcue while trying to get laid.
i’m going to give doctress leisa a reall deep BTKing this christmas…just you wait.
…and you know i’m serious because i put two l’s on “reall”.
nom, valentine’s is right around the corner.
‘don’t wait, this season to let that ‘special someone’ know how you feel…say more, with BTK’
by ‘nom‘ i meant, of course, ‘chode‘
I have more of a ‘special sometwo’ at this point.
There can be ONLY ONE….fat guy with a yard stick.
hey boys, check this out: http://www.smellmeand.com
awesome possum.
hey, buddy, BTK is the gift that keeps on giving. it’s not a matter of BTK for BTK’s sake, it’s about how many can you share BTK with THIS season…don’t sell yourself short.
very nice. i have the music playing in the background. although it’s a bit ghey.
Yeah chode, I saw that shit about a month ago. But, now I can browse the website since I’m not at work.
Full NutSack;(=[XX-8
if you listen to the “video” of the guy narrating the “scent of a woman”…it gets pretty goddamn romantic.
there are a dozen things i could be doing right now. probably should be doing right now…and i don’t feel like doing a damn one of them…
the video i watched had a chick narrating…i might feel a bit…unCOMfortable with a man reading it. it’s well-written. but well-written and well read can be two different things.
I can’t believe they went with "Vulva" for the name. I’m sorry, but Vulva is in no way appealing sounding to me. Now if it was called "Throb" I’d be all over it. Wait.
I can’t believe they went with "Vulva" for the name. I’m sorry, but Vulva is in no way appealing sounding to me. Now if it was called "Throb" I’d be all over it. Wait.
I just DP’d the Vulva.
what!?!? i get some deep sounding brit telling me about how he loves to sniff thes scent whenever he can…maybe i just haven’t dug far enough into all that is VULVA!!!!!
or ‘smutsk’? like ‘smut’ and ‘musk’? almost looks swedish or danish or something…
chodin: is it POSSIBLE to delve ‘too-deeply’ into ‘all that is VULVA’? i dare say, i think NOT!
true story: i’m off to the jim (or you can pronounce is “guy-um” as dub and i do).
asalamalaka you bastards- catch you later on today.
*chodin pulls on the bookshelf to reveal a secret room. he then slides down a firepole*
That was a great vidoe, but the woman narrating needs help pronounciating words.
‘it’s not a ‘purse’! it’s european!’
"vidoe" is how we spell "video" here in the dyslexic present.
my favorite european accent is portuguese. or klingon.
dor sho gha!
(apologies to fek if i jacked that up)
dor sho gha!
(apologies to fek if i jacked that up)
I’ll Jack you up, you sunufabitch!
i think i’m guilting myself into trying to go get stuff @ the hardware store. but i really shouldn’t spend the money…i gots whores to buy this week…
A ‘gime’? What’s a ‘gime’?
oooo0000000h, a gime
Anybody know where I can score a gime bag for the weekend?
partarita night. Yeah. Party+Margarita=Clairopolis.
Erswi, I can’t. I ain’t big gime if I’m still selling gimes. Bill Gates ain’t shit, my town is a monopoly. Now, when I go on vacation, this place goes dry for a month.
Are we bringing back old jokes? Is this throwback weekend?
I just went over to the other place and read Cocktress Leisa’s comments to see what all the hub-ub was about. Tell me, do you all hate it that you got banned for fisting, and they turned it around on you like you were the source when, in reality, you all are anti-fisters? It’s their fault for letting the juvenile shit happen in there anyway.
Actually jack, I was inspired by chodin to throw out a simpson’s joke, and it wasn’t til erswis gimebag post that I remembered that time with the gime.
Tell me, do you all hate it that you got banned for fisting, and they turned it around on you like you were the source when, in reality, you all are anti-fisters?
You know, a little. This reponse from Pennsylvania’s Finest was particularly retarded:
wow jacktion! so you and your fags have a fist campaign to stop the use of the word, and then you all come back and are the biggest users of the word…makes sense….fuck you
And of course, this response from Doctress Leisa:
Jacktion, that was a lot words for me to say who the fuck are you? Who cares? Really? You have a very inflated sense of self-worth.
I have an inflated sense of self-worth? You’re a fucking moderator at a Britney Spears fan site, and you think you’re the be-all, end-all authority on what’s funny!
Tell me, do you all hate it that you got banned for fisting, and they turned it around on you like you were the source when, in reality, you all are anti-fisters?
Anything that makes the universe more ridiculous is fine by my book. I can scoff from a distance and then go shovel the driveway. I wish shovel the driveway stood for something else, like doing mad drugs and hijacking a tank and driving it around until the buzz where’s off and then parking it in a Walmart entrance. "What do you mean I ran over the cripple greeter? You’re funny. Walmart chant time!"
I need someone to document FIST and Princess Leia and everything else because I’m too lazy to read through five pages of comments to find out. Also you guys should probably put it on FanWank because it sounds like the sort of thing they enjoy.
Beek, if I documented it for you, it would probably turn into FIST: The Jacktion Story, because apparently, I have a very inflated sense of of self-worth.
Jesus Christ, do you fuckers never sleep?
I was out wasting my time on Cloverfield last night.
Jesus Christ, do you fuckers never sleep?
Some of us work. Was that the question? Are you trying to get in to bed with me?
What, everyone left me now? WTF. Al gets no lovin’.
I sleep a lot. Just not in the evening, which it is right now.
I’m tryin’ ta get into bed with all of your, but since you were the first to respond, BK, you have now moved to the top of the list.
Chino was wondering where you were last night.
Her bet was on "locked out of the apartment".
I know, I actually went back and read all your mindless crap. I’m disappointed you all have a good time even when I’m not here.
BK, you have now moved to the top of the list.
Good, because I got the Deadwood Series box set for Christmas and just started re-watching it all last night. So if you hurry you’ll get to see Brom get shoved off a cliff, always a classic.
It wasn’t until the second season that I really fell in love with… er… myself. Such brilliant dialogue and delivery in that show (unlike Cloverfield). I was practically suicidal when it ended. Deadwood, not Cloverfield.
On the plus side, I did see some excellent trailers. Iron Man looks like it’s gonna be good, and The Ruins is right up my alley of cheesy horrors. Something called "21" with Kevin Spacey will be a rental, and only that because Kevin Spacey’s in it.
Please don’t talk about it too much (either Deadwood or Cloverfield) because I haven’t seen it (once agin, either one) and I might want to some day. Like Tuesday, as an example.
agin is Old West-speak for again.
I think what it all boils down to is that Brenda-n realized what his comments sextion had become. I think he had been getting jealous of the commenting style and enthusiasm that was going on here. I know for an almost fact that he at one point had been reading our comments. Then, lo and beerhold, he starts posting movie news with no mention of this place. He saw the juvenile following he was left with, and yearned for what he once had. And now, I don’t know what to think, or whether or not to care.
Empty Alphabet Soup:(
That conclusion would be based on him stealing your Mr. Owl joke, right?
Nom – now I’m sorry I didn’t spell out your whole name on that post-it. Cuz that woulda been even cooler.
I think what it all boils down to is that Brenda-n
Pff. He wishes he was me+n. Then he’d be sexy AND violent.
He didn’t steal my Mr. Owl Joke, but the chances of him making a Mr. Owl reference out of the blue less than 12 hours after I made a mr owl joke, I would say, are just about nil. Plus, I’m assuming that the fist invasion got his attention. And, Shortly before the mr. owl thing I remember him posting a comment like ‘I suck. Filmdrunk sucks. Lets move on.’
In conclusion, his was more of a reference than a joke.
Yes, it would have, Al. I’ve got that post it tucked inside of the case now, so that it’ll always be there. Like those arms and legs of He-Man I buried in my old yard all those years back. Oh, Shit! I need a shovel! I bet those are still where I left them back in the 80′s!!!!!!!
Too much drama going on over there. I’m a simple girl with simple tastes, who likes simple things. That’s why I like you guys.
Are you calling us ‘simple’? Jerk.
It doesn’t really matter. I only go there for dooter, anyway.
Dooter is money.
Well Nom, I have someone sanding drywall in my hallway right now, which means everything is covered in dust, which means I’ll be cleaning everything again, which means I’ll probably find more stuff I want to get rid of. Next package will include full name. What is it? You wrote out your name once and it was about 4 names long. OK, maybe I HAVE been stalking you…
Al: Currently my full fake name is Nominus Dominus "Scoot" Aurealius.
AurealiusAuraelius.Fixed
My evil twin’s name is Chadwick R Preston.
The "R" doesn’t stand for anything.
Scoot!
No one has commented on mt avatar being an antigravitational pussy. Yes. I went. There.
mt=my when typing confused with wine.
Your avatar is an antigravitational pussy.
There.
I commented on it.
Thanks Jack!, I am vindicated!
PS: should I be this happy? Who are you non-corporeal, internet beings…?
Lala, it’s the wine that’s making you happy, not us. But, as I am drinking wine with you, we can be happy and drunk together.
Together. Yet, apart, like Yeat’s gyres. Boo. Sadness.
Yeats’ Gyres. Can’t fuck with the king.
This is a potential Comment of the Week.
You guys are already drinking and I don’t get out of work for another six hours, goddamn it.
I’ve been drinking for 4 hours. Boosh.
Hello Homos!
hello straighto
Alright, it’s another hen party!
I’m the cock of the walk!
… to whom all the ladies flock
Can we give you a pedicure, Jack?
resident evil is on tv
it’s a regular taco-fest
michelle rodriguez just delivered her best line in the movie:
‘blow me’
in response to some guy she was ‘detaining’.
wait, i don’t want to forget ‘motherfucker took a piece outta me!’
it might be ‘chunk’. or maybe ‘hunk’.
I’ve never gotten a pedicure.
When I lived in Key West, a couple of my stoner friends wanted me to go with them, but it was too expensive.
We went to an all you can eat crawfish special instead.
Spoiler alert: best line from Cloverfield:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! AAAAHHHHHHH! AAAHHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
I self-pedicure. It’s like self-medicating, only with more abrasive instruments.
I omitted some exclamation points, though, so as to not give it away completely.
In my case, self-pedicuring is more like self-torture, but with longer-lasting debilitating effect.
I did get my face painted like a dalmation at Disney World, though.
erin is pretty commando about the self-pedi. aside from sometimes doing it naked, she pretty-much goes in, takes out the insurgents, and makes the extraction point in fairly short order.
I want to know if Fat Penguin Media ever throws down against Anti Clown Media, sort of like in the music video for "Beat It," but with less choreographed knife fighting and more uncoordinated use of inhalers. Then in the end everyone hugs and admits that the best sort of argument are the ones that end with cuddles, except you all go home and blog furiously about how the other was PWNED.
al, did you really go see cloverfield?
I just smoked a bunch of dope and drank enough booze to kill a horse. Im totally danked out here.
This post sucks.
BEEK, they could have the insane clown posse do the music and when the bloggers show up, they fucking kill the insane clown posse and very smartly dispose of the bodies and no one ever even notices.
Yes B, I really saw it. It was mercifully brief.
I shouldn’t be too harsh on it, actually – it definitely held my attention, but it struck me as a prelude to several thousand sequels, which will hopefully be much, much better. The WAY over-done "I’m holding a camcorder" thing was unnecessary. Conceptually it was good, but difficult to watch. That I was sitting in the second-to-front row only exacerbated things, I’m sure.
I saw Transformers in the second row, and I had a migrane by the time the fist Transformer showed up.
Plus, it was an awful movie.
Jaction! – I hope that wasn’t an intentional "fist".
I saw Transformers on a plane. I’m not sure which is worse – second row, or trying to watch it on a 5" x 3" screen.
No one has commented on mt avatar being an antigravitational pussy. Yes. I went. There.
Hey, I’ve always called you AGV. Remember? Or had you never Unmembered?
I saw gremlins on a plane. It was pretty good.
Plus, ANTICLOWN CAN EAT MY DICK! They royally pissed me off for the very last time recently. I’m never going to any of their sites again.
Pat Bateman:" Ladies and Gentleman. Please welcome … Mister Maleboy SHAUN DEWET!"
Crowd is shocked and chanting the name: MaleBoy, MaleBoy.
MaleBoyShaun De Wet: "Thank you" … and leaves the Stage.
So is this this actual factual MBSDW I’ve been hearing about? Or is this an alter-eggo? Either way, I’m not yet impressed.
Don’t start Nominus. Don’t start. I am just visiting this very site cause WWTDD is on a break. No Britney or Scientology posts. Really boring.
I’m not starting. Yet. I’ve heard good things about you. Welcome.
1st, the fist WAS unintentional.
2nd, that can’t really be him. He spoke English too well.
Nominus. Thanks for letting me in, pal.
Jackson! I know my english sucks. Anyway who gives a scat about this.Do know if these dooter fraggles are also here?
Yes, dooter pops his head in from time to time.
Somethin. Now I’m not convinced you are real. Thank Jack for that. I think you are a DH spawn now. MMMMM, DH Spawn.
Dor Sho Gah!
A fake Male Boy. If you want to sell that alter you have to have the linguisic skills of a 10 year old.
Are you guys kiddin’ me? This here is the real deal. Who would be so sick and copy me?
Anyway, I am not here to leave a bad impression or some scat.
No, a male boy post would be like;
I have to make friends with Tom Cruise his ass is on my balls. Don’t let the fat lady masturbate your dog with bag on her hose.
Craptastic. Do you see my avatar? Sometimes, when I get really I angry about celeburtards, I call them Tranny Licker or ask "I wonder how her head would like on a stick?". Funny part about that: The Amy Whorehouse-head looks like yours.
Is Burt Reynolds a celeBURTard, maleboy?
Jacktion! I like people who asks questions. They lead the the conversation. And today is the first day on filmdrunk. So I am your boy and will answer:
Defenitely not. I am just sayin’: Boogie Nights.
I have still, to this very day, not gotten through the second part of Boogie Nights.
Nor Shanghai Knights.I have the DVD, but I’ve never gotten past the part where Heather Graham takes her clothes off. It’s just rewind-watch, rewind-watch, rewind-watch…
You are here to answer questions? Right then, here goes. If Peanut Buttered Bread always lands peanut butter side down, and a cat always lands on its feet, then if you tied Peanut Butter Bread to the back of a cat, wouldn’t you be able to harness that hovernergy and use it to propel some sort of floating monorail?
You said "monorail"
Well, sir, there’s nothing on earth
Like a genuine,
Bona fide,
Electrified,
Six-car
Monorail!
What’d I say?
I don’t know. I would punch the cat in the face, and slide the peanut butter bread inside Beyonces’ ass and wait 12 hours, until she dumps a scat. I would eat it with passion.
Hey. Let ask some questions, ok? Whats the whole thang about "the other side"? Is doctress Leisa also here an admin? I mean a fuckin’ admin? Did she really kicked some of you because you used the word "Fist"?
Hey, I’ve always called you AGV. Remember? Or had you never Unmembered?
I thought you were making a typo because b is closed to v. Wow. Dumbness reigns supreme.
Sorry. I forgot the word "me". No really. Is WWTDD not cool any more? I think it’s a laugh riot sometimes.
Hey, Maleboy. Shut up.
I say we call comment on the fat slim shady topic once a week so that it keeps in the "latest comments" who’s with me! I hear crickets. Stop it with the leg-music. I was serious!
It would have to be everyday, and pretty often in order to do that lala.
i’ll join that quest lala.
It’s ok. I was only 1/2 serious.
B.K. Like I would just shut up now because of you now. What’s up with you? Did your paypal account have no money anymore for rapidshare to download Tranny Clips with brazilian Ladyboys?
But no bitch fight right now. It’s my first visit day and I try to behave.
There is Godfather on TV. You guys do well.
I swear to Jeebus, they should let that guy write the next Borat movie.
I thought you were making a typo because b is closed to v. Wow. Dumbness reigns supreme.
No actually it wasn’t a typo, more of a brain fart. See, because AntiGravity contains a V, my brain put it as the first letter of the third word. But then I just went with Vagina.
Bwahhhhhh! I eat ribs, whoooohahhhh!!!!
I have hardly ever laughed while in the comments section of wwtdd. The only times were when someone from over here pointed me to something that was funny on a particular thread. That, and I was cracking up during the original fissed invasion.
B.K. Like I would just shut up now because of you now.
A girl can dream.
A girl can dream
Technically, no they can’t. Unless it’s about me. So I assume.
Technically, no they can’t. Unless it’s about me. So I assume.
Are you a midget with angel wings that is constantly shouting the lyrics to 9 to 5 and throwing Skittles at me? If so, you are in my dreams every night, Short Feather.
West Coast folks, please save this thread!
Just now, my TV was on PBS, and it said "And now, we present you, with one full hour of Coldplay!". It just happened, kid you not.
Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you,
And everything you do,
Yeah they were all yellow,
Action Jaction!:from what i’ve read you have a very inflated view of your self worth. you need to get a hobby besides hitting on that broad Chino or whatever. You probably won’t meet her so impressing her with your kareokee skills and dazzling her with your knowledge of klingon prob wont work, chief.theres a lot of internet asskissing going on at filmdrunk. at least thats one thing you won’t get at wwtdd. Good day.
Dear The Hero You Hate,
It’s nice to know that even after I have been abscent from your home for several months now, you still have a giant hard-on for me. I am a bit confused though, because I thought that we were supposed to be the gay ones. It’s refreshing to learn that I had that backwards.
Cuddles,
——-Jacktion!
P.S. And I didn’t even have anything to do with this one.
P.P.S. I don’t have an inflated sense of self-worth, but could you blame me if I did? There are scores of you retards lining up to take a swing at me. I must be worth something, or you wouldn’t bother with me, would you? I bet you’d just be the belle of the ball if you took me down a notch, wouldn’t you? But instead you come at me anonymously because you’ve got no balls. Do me a favor, and next time bring a bunch of your buddies, because Lance loves getting the extra traffic.
Smooches!
P.P.P.S. I’ll save you the time of looking it up. A score means twenty of something, so scores would imply that there are at least 40 of you.
Now you know, and knowing is half the battle.
Hore You Hate. Fixed.ÂÂ
cuz if u gag their mouth, they WON’T say no.
If there were a few more letters in there you could rearrange "The Hero You Hate" into "The Hee Haw Hat". That would be awesome.ÂÂ
You know, those big hillbilly hats that they used to wear on "Hee Haw".
I have a Devo hat myself.
Hero You Hate just isn’t that great of a name. I have a better name for you-feel free to use it here, there, or on the C.B. radio in your future trucking job: "The Lonely Baloney Hole".ÂÂ
I’m going to call shenanigans on our Maleboy. Although when he reappeared over there after an hiatus i also thought that was an imposter/impersonator, so i could be wrong, again. As i’ve got lots of better things to do i’m going to go find his Paris Hilton post.
Cumshot on this.
wtf im gone for a weekend and there’s 600+ comments?
From 06/08/2007: Paris in cuffs and in court
"I am so nervous like a fat kid jerking off because he gets his chocolate cake from his granny. Poor paris. Yesterday, she thought about fisted the LAW. Hahaha. But HELL NO! This very cunt is going brutally back in jail. Hahaha. Some naggers aer waitin’ for some hollywood cunt. Kudos to our hardlinin’ republican SauerKraut!"
I‘m being self indulgent here because i want easy access to it rather than having to trawl through a myriad of Paris threads again. Britney fucking Spears even shows up in them.
On the same thread from our very own Mr. Wonderful:
"Maybe this time they’ll put her in the Planet of the Apes cell, you know, the one with straw on the floor, and a gorilla can will throw his shit at her and she can say "that’s hot". Then he’ll blast her with the firehose and she can say "that’s cold"."
Hats off.
agb> 3 dub dub
???
JWiaDH is a living classic.
"belle of the ball"?
never realised Jacktion! was a character out of a 1920s gangster film.
goes to show… something.
I just have to say, heroin hates you, that Tom Hanks also has his ass kissed constantly.
Hey JWiaDH, I thought of you earlier today (not when I was masturbating . . . this time). I was at the casino and there was a group of 2 cent "Hee Haw" machines, with a tv showing reruns of Hee Haw. Guess what the slack-jawed yokel on the TV was wearing? The Hee Haw Hat.
oh come on, no one has a hard on for you. you couldnt even get water hard in alaska. and for the most part, i have no idea what the fuck you are talking about. i’m not anonymous at all? i wasn’t even part of your little "fist" argument, just an outsider who noticed that you suck.
p.s. My mistake. John Wayne in a Devo Hat obviously gets hard for you. He was so quick to stick up for his boyfriend. Stick it up your sister’s ass you fucking dummy
you couldnt even get water hard in alaska.
That’s because he’s so hot. ZING! (Sing?)
Consider yourself post-pwnd, Heroine you Hate.
agb is greater than 3 me’s?
God, resorting to making fun of user names? Do you mother a favor, go down the block find a big tree and string yourself up. Faggit. Or at least start paying rent. Fat virgin.
The only thing we like more than writing You Might Be A [insert ethnicity here] jokes are retards like you. So in all honesty, you are the Hero We Love. If I don’t remember to tell you this later: Thank you, douchebag.
What an original, and stinging rebuke. But I can tolerate it. Considering none of it applied to me. I’ll take a shot in the dark here: You’re the type of pussy who had to have his tonsils removed because they were causing your weak body problems, huh? Not me. Still got mine.
Are you guys like all related or something? Jesus Christ, if you rip on one, its like 7 more fucking losers are all ready to come at you with their keyboards and internet slang. And your shot in the dark missed. Still got my tonsils and my appendix. I don’t even have allergies. Your gonna run out of jokes at this point. I think i was dead on with the fat virgin comment, however. Cuz i think my little man got offended.
Here, I’ll repost my prior comment because I know reading is a challenge for you. Maybe with repetition you’ll understand:
The only thing we like more than writing You Might Be A [insert ethnicity here] jokes are retards like you.
I don’t believe that involved any "internet slang," but I know with you illiterates, you lash out incomprehensibly at things you don’t understand – like words, and logic. Please feel free to keep calling me a "faggit," though, since it amuses me. (If there’s one thing I love more than retards, it’s retard pageantry.)
Stand by anything you want, That Hero, doesn’t change that you are an Omega Male.
Do you mother a favor, go down the block find a big tree and string yourself up. Faggit. Or at least start paying rent. Fat virgin.
Did you make that up all by yourself? You, should like be a, like, writer. You know, for shows that, like, need someone to, like, write original jokes and stuff. It’s money baby. I have an idea: Say something funny. Or don’t.
agb is greater than 3 me’s
?.Fixed.
B.K. who the fuck was talking to you? Don’t flatter yourself. Your not even important enough to address. But if we wanna start making sense, talk to your boyfriend Nominus "Say something funny. Or don’t" Makes so sense, finish the sentance pal. Say something funny, or don’t say anything at all. 1st grade english class. If you wanna get technical. I’m sorry i really got you internet geeks’ panties in a bunch. I’m glad i just got the two lamest ones coming after me because you guys get laid less then the impotent. I swear its like every nerd i beat up in high school all wrapped up into like 2 little guys.
Can I be fake angry too?
I hate snow men. Taking all the carrots! Who do you think you are? You get blown into water by a warm breeze. You suck. You’re not even anatomically correct! You make me so… grrrr… !!!
I swear its like every nerd i beat up in high school
If Bill Gates heard that you beat up nerds he would be very upset. Nothing makes ba-ga-zillionaires madder than misdirected rage. Unless that rage is directed to snowmen… like you’re better than a puddle Frosty. I’m gonna take your coal eyes and use them to melt you, just you wait.
I guess you don’t see what I was doing there. Someone who doesn’t spell words correctly or use proper punctuation is schooling me on how to correctly form a sentence in which I was mocking him. And his teachers told him that he’d never amount to anything. You’ve shown them, Hero. You have sure shown me as well.
Secondlistely: You have still not pointed out this "internet slang" of which you made mention.
I swear its like every nerd i beat up in high school all wrapped up into like 2 little guys.
Where?! Where are they? I’d like to invite them over for an ice cold Coca-Cola.
You, should like be a, like, writer. You know, for shows that, like, need someone to, like, write original jokes and stuff.
Like Mind of Mencia! Gosh, I bet you’d be a great writer for that show. You don’t even have to be funny! Just fat and ignorant! You’re already over-qualified!
It’s funny Hero, you think they’d stick up for me, but you’re wrong, They just stand against you.
Now as for your contention that you don’t have a hard-on for me, and you’re just an "outsider" who noticed that I suck, well when I don’t have a hard-on for somebody, and Inotice that they suck, I don’t usually go run out and register an account for the website they go to so I can tell them that. I let them go live their sucky lives on their own far away from me. I don’t want people like that to notice me and acknowledge me. So please, feel free to go fantasize about me while pleasuring yourself.
P.S. You can even fantasize about kissing my ass. You obviously like it, because you came to FilmDrunk, and according to you, it only happens here.
I’d stick up for you Jack! because I’m gay for you. I’m sticks-tied-together-for-firewood-gay for you.
And he registered what he thought was a clever name too.
P.S. B.K. Doesn’t even like me. Even though she saw my picture yesterday. And chicks think I’m good looking too. See, she has standards. My good looks are not near enough to do it for her.
Oh for the love of God. I’m not gonna help you out, it’s really easy to look back at the thread and see your own words, little boy. My bad though on the typo, i dont know how i could have been so stupid. Its not like 5 million of them dont occur every day. Fucking loser. You gettin your tent all ready for the new Star Trek movie? Better start camping soon.
you came to FilmDrunk, and according to you, it only happens here.
We call it "Tuesday", normally. But we can make an exception.
By the way: B.K. who the fuck was talking to you?
Apparently you are, cockstain. Remember to fasten the chinstrap on your helmet real real tight, retard.
I’m done with mr Hero. What’s next on the agenda? More commenting in our mothers basement, eh guys? Sounds like a plan.
I just used "stick" twice in my last comment. Does that make me obsessed with the phallus? Wow. Something new to talk about with my pseudo-therapist, also known as my teddybear. He’s so soft and when he talks he sounds like James Earl Jones.
Hero, you don’t need to help us out, just help yourself out.
For the record, the next Star Trekmovie probably won’t be as gay as you are.
It’ll still be pretty gay, though.
B.K. that was the first time i addressed you so far. Its cute though, trying to get involved and all.
Jaction: Theres that inflated views of yourself. Someones gotta get you a mirror.
Nominus: You guys are exchanging pictures now? Can’t afford Match.com?
You guys really are queers. I just felt like it was my civil duty, to un-gay this site. I used to like reading what Lance has to say and then the funny comments that the posters would add but it turned more into a "omg i got banned from that other place for saying FIST. like that stupid jerkface doctress, how can she censor us! i mean she is a moderator and all, but still!"
i always thought that gays being sensitive was merely a myth. But its true, you guys really do get pissed off if someone makes a lil joke about you. It must be tough being gay though, with all the dick taking and what not.
You guys have been stealing dicks and no one told me? Not. Cool.
Actually, I’m not pissed off, but I am amused that I apparently need permission to address the fucking morons that violate this board with their retard talk. I like how you "liked" the comments here until somehow we all magically turned into "faggits."
I love mongoloids that can’t read a room.
Pale burnings on a formally white wall.
Nom’s making even less sense than me.
Nah some people are funny, you 3 kinda suck. That dude Chodin is a riot. Nomunis is semi-funny but everyone kisses his ass too much. And you didnt magically turn into faggits BK. You guys converted yourselves when i made one little joke and everyone jumped on my back.
We don’t get pissed when people make jokes about us, "lil" (by the way, only southern women say that) or big.
The thing you don’t seem to realize is that jokes are funny, while you are not.
As for you always read the comments, and they’re not funny because we’re talking about all that stuff, do you usually read all the comments when there’s 13 pages of them?
Maybe you’re the one who needs to get a life. Seriously, don’t you have any friends? You just read every comment on every thread?
And by the way, there’s a "k" in my name, fucktard.
Actually, lala, that one was for you. I figured it could make a good title for some gay poetry.
Eventually "Hero" will stop typing and sit back and laugh that we are still arguing and watch what we have typed. He’ll laugh, thinking we’re wasting our time, because he is not here anymore, but he is, he is just being silent. Or he has left and we are in his head still and he’ll reflect on what was said and how much time he’s saved by leaving. But he won’t think about all the time he’s wasted congratulating himself for being not whomever he has decided he isn’t. Thank about it.
It’s a good line. Did you steal it? I love gay poetry. I’m telling you, besides all the gays who have crafted this world into a better place… gay wordsmiths rock!
I agree that my ass is kissed maybe a little too much, and I’m not saying that like "yeah, all those bitches love my chedder" either. I’m agreeing with that point. Mainly because I have been off my game for ahile. Chodin is the shit. But, see, who am I to criticize how funny others think I am. I sit back and enjoy the ride I didn’t earn. Not lately at least.
Im not really buying into the whole user name thing. I dont care how its spelt. You guys really put thought and care into them though. Thats fine with me. And if there are 13 pages of comments that means theres gotta be something funny going on? No? Well No was right. I regret reading them because then i would have never had to suffer through the terrible insults you guys give. The FilmDrunkards are really hardcore! im almost crying over here.. All fat and lonely. Jesus, you guys need a clue.
No, lala, I came up with that one sleepless night a couple, well, nights ago. It can have big underlying meanings I think.
you guys get laid less then the impotent.
AUGH! Nom! We missed an opportunity here to work in Pimpotent!™
No, wait. Uhm,
you guys get laid less then the impotent.
More like: PIMPOTENT! BOOSH!
Thank is the think of the thankers. Think about thanking that.
Shit. BK, how the fuck did we miss that. Oh, the opportunities that will never again present themselves. I’m such a douche.
And yes I realize that i’ve left out a couple letters and correct punctuation in my last few posts. Oops.
Did you go through all 700 pages of the Y U so sexy, Britney? thread on wwttd, Hero?
I’m sure every line of that was pure comic gold.
Perhaps you should go do that now.
Oh man. Jaction, you just don’t stop. Perhaps you should go find a solid kareokee bar for tonight and maybe bust out a little Harry Belafonte later?
Everbody loves a good calypso tune! Jump in the Line is my favorite.
Where are you from? Maybe we can go sing together sometime.
You aren’t stopping either, Hero. I have a thought going on here. How about we drop this, and you chime in on conversations. In a few of your later posts, I saw some potential, unlike your earlier ones. How about you talk about something other than trying to "pwn" other people?—> as the netty fags say
True story: when I was nine my brother and I sang a goo goo dolls song at the karaoke booth at the mall. My Mum was asked by a stranger to comment on our ability. She pretended not to be related to us. It scarred my heart.
BTW, it’s spelled karaoke.
I think we’re all missing the point here, which is that Movies — They Might Not Tell The Truth??!!?. I believe it, because I used to think retards with poor social skills could overcome their adversity and be ping pong champions and billionaires. In reality, they just like to hurl nonsensical insults at people via the internet, more than likely because if they wandered away from the house, there’d be no one to change their drool cup.
It was like the scene from "My Best Friend’s Wedding" where Cameron Diaz sings terribly and everyone claps… except not. Wait! Films do lie!
B.K. is seriously hurt huh? Listen baby, you can talk to me whenever you want. I promise i’ll drop the speak when spoken to thing. I was only playing. But to be honest, drool cup changing is no joke. You need special people to handle those things.
And i’m definately going to stop arguing. Probably around 6. When the Giants come on.
The Giants suck. But just to piss people off. But, MY FUCKING JAYHAWKS. They make me happy. I wish I had a North Carolina whipping boy on here right about now.
I’m glad I’m Canadian, because ending a sentence with eh? sounds much better than huh?. I’m not judging anyone by that. I’m just saying that huh? makes people’s faces look all ‘tarded up. Not that ‘tards are bad people, but like midgets, because they only have half of something that human beings are supposed to have, they only deserve half the respect. Right J.E.J. Teddy?
If it’s true that Movies Might Not Tell the Truth, then what are the implications that Porno Movies Might Not Tell the Truth? Because if it’s not true that all hot blonde chicks love A2M, I don’t think it’s worth going on anymore. Can anyone lead me out of this quandary?
Also, who the fuck is this hero person and why has he not yet known the joys of BTK? Where the hell is Fek when you need him?
Giants fan, eh?
So you’re from the New York area, right?
I live in Jersey! We’ll get together, sing some songs… hell, I’ll buy you an appletini!
Where the hell is Fek when you need him?
It would have been a damn shame if chodin had been here. Being ripped apart by the one person you like would have sucked.
Dude! You’re a New York football Giants fan? What the fuck is up with the football Giants? Is that as opposed to the New York stickball Giants? Or the ice-hockey Giants? WTF?
Don’t get the hockey names wrong. He could be an Islanders fan, or a Rangers fan. Or he could like figure skating, man can those guys glide, like little angels, everytime a bell rings a skater gets frostbite.
Maybe he likes the Devils.
There used to be the New York Baseball Giants back in the day. I guess your an avid sports fan. Anyways, I’m not an appletini guy, a tequilla sunrise would be more up my alley. Or just whiskey in a bucket. Either one. And it would have sucked if Chodin was here because i think he might have been the only one that could have shut me up.
I forgot that the New York football Giants are so named to prevent ass hat New Yorkers from confusing them with the New York baseball Giants . . . WHO HAVEN’T BEEN IN NEW YORK IN OVER 50 FUCKING YEARS. Dumbasses.
Its just a term that stuck. Probably similar to why they still call you Stumpy from high school.
erswi? what is your avatar?
We were on an album cover bandwagon on Friday. That’s the cover for Warren G’s breakout 1st disc. Regulators! Mount up!
I knew it was an album (anal bum) cover. I just wasn’t sure which one.
C’mon? When do you wanna get together and sing, man? I bet you’d rock the house with some Abba. I get that vibe off of you!
In reality, you should have shut up after Devo got on you. And me. And BK. And lala’s veiled "this is stupid" comments. And Jacks. But you didn’t. Oh well. For the record, we won! I declare this as fact! Debunk that! I’m just kidding, I’d rather you didn’t.
And lala’s veiled "this is stupid" comments.
I didn’t think I was being subtle. I just had to get my hatred of snowmen off my chest. You guys ever make the mistake of trying to dropkick a snowman only to realize that it’s been there for days and has become coated in ice. That hurts.
There was supposed to be a ? there somewhere.
What are snowmen exactly. Remember some of us live in the Gulf South (ok, it’s just me) where the most snow we’ve ever seen is the 3 inches we got at Christmas a coupla years ago.
I think it was supposed to go after "ice".
http://www.ehow.com/how_9769_build-snowman.html
I thought ice baby went after ice.
That was for you erswi
Erswi, my sister now lives in Georgia, and the other day she said it was snowing. From that, I assume that the gulf coast got at least 12 inches of snow recently, and hereby call you a liar.
Sorry, I still don’t get it. I’ll have to come up to your neck of the woods and try it sometime. Honestly I’ve never seen snow deeper than about 2 inches on the ground.
Then I’ll come visit you erswi and you can show me how levees work… no, wait, you can’t.*
*too soon?
It’s never too soon.
Are you kidding? Never too soon for a failed levees joke! Difference between Harry Lee (a recently deceased fat-ass local sherriff) and a barge? It only takes 1 Harry Lee to block off a levee breach!
I do fear that it is too late for Katrina Tales. Goddamn this Procrasti-Nation.
Hey. Where’d stupid go? Did I scare him off with my affinity for A2M? Job well done!
Well kids, my Mum is back with the wine and I’m going to go watch "Slings and Arrows" starring the handsomest Canuck ever, Paul Gross. Yum.
Who?
5 bucks says Hee Haw Hat in the Shockey jersey is chodin.
Anytime you wanna make the 3 hour trip to NY chief.
Who was that aimed at?
Looks like the Pats are gonna take down yet another better opponent. Fuck.
Your chief. You forgot your nickname already? Jeeze Louise.
Where does a retard go to use the interweb anyway? Are you at the library? They have internet at the library right?
Chief is my nickname? But I don’t live 3 hours from NY! I live 10 miles from NY. I live near Giants Stadium, actually. I’m in NY a lot.
Wow. Who are you again? Oh i forgot. Nobody. And your affinity for ATM doesn’t scare me away, it draws me closer to you.
Ummm, dumbass. Get it right. It’s A2M. Busta!
What about my disposition to BTK? Could that bring you closer to me? Dor sho gha!
Looks like the Patriots will either be beating the Giants or the Packers now. Any thoughts, Shockey?
What the fuck is going on here now? And is it still going on? I can’t tell with this timezone thing.
well if the Giants can win in Green Bay they will definately beat the Patriots at a neutral stadium in warmer weather. They almost beat them at the Meadowlands, which they sucked at home this year and everyone knows Eli can’t play in cold weather (he didn’t want to go to San Diego why?).
s’up Al? it’s still on. in every time zone. you gotta pop it to lock it.
I’m disturbed, disappointed, and mainly jealous as hell that BK got to see a pic of Nominus. Jealous as all hell. Bitch.
*shivers* The klingon shit is so gay. And dude, i’ve seen a whole lot of crazy shit in my life; so some internet guy who thinks he’s being yucky talking about bondage and ass to mouth isnt gonna freak me out.
Hero – dude, there is no "a" in "definitely". Fuck.
later taters. erswi specials for everyone except hero. nukkas!
Cmon man. Do you really gotta get on spelling? Its just fucking pathetic. Go to college, major in Education and then get a job teaching kids how to spell. When i write a paper i get to use spell check, i don’t need a fucking lesson. Fuck.
I won $20 in my football pool. I am rich, bitch!
Rich, as well as suddenly and inexplicably sexy!!
Why, thank you! Take comfort in the fact that I will use my newfound wealth and sexiness for good and not evil.
I think NY definitely stands a chance at Lambeau so long as they can keep the black players from eating fried chicken bare-handed before and during the game, elseways their hands will be too slick and greasy to make the key plays, both offensively and defensively, to effectively move the football.
^Had to get some black content in there to stay relevent with the banner pic. BTW tomorrow is MLBTK Day.
Asshat, if you need to rely on spellcheck to spell "definitely", you "definitely" should not be teaching kids how to spell, and certainly don’t have a degree in Education. Unless I mis-read that. But fuck, I’m a bit slow sometimes, and I’m also on my second bottle of wine, so what the hell do I care.
We could also call it MLA2M Day for erswi.
You’re on your second bottle of wine already? Dang, I gotta catch up!
BTW, Hero – you’re writing papers because you’re in Gr. 10? Please don’t insult some prestigious college by claiming to be their student. You could get your ass sued for that.
Well GET ON IT, Chino. It’s Sunday, also known as "let’s drink a shitload of wine so we’re good and hungover for work Monday morning" day.
and mainly jealous as hell that BK got to see a pic of Nominus
Just imagine Brad Pitt with his shirt off possibly and maybe bangs.*
*cannot actually recall said photo because was blown away by teh sexy.
Damn fucking strait.
BK, now I hate you even more, and my hate is compounded by the knowledge that you yourself are a goddess. I know this because that’s just how I imagine you to be, so it must be true.
and my hate is compounded by the knowledge that you yourself are a goddess.
Hey, I can turn water into wine and lumps of clay into superheroes. I’m fun at parties. Tell your friends.
Well GET ON IT, Chino. It’s Sunday, also known as "let’s drink a shitload of wine so we’re good and hungover for work Monday morning" day.I prefer to drink a shitload of wine so I am good and still drunk for work on Monday morning. Makes it so much nicer!
Monday is my Thursday. So who wants to get shitfaced on Thursday night so they’re hungover for work on Friday (Monday)? Yeah!
I’m fun at parties. Tell your friends.
BK – definitely invited to my next party. Now I can’t stop saying "definitely". And spelling it correctly.
Chino – I like your idea – drunken Monday is way better than hungover Monday. I’m in.
I’m on my second glass of wine. I only have fiction class tomorrow, so it is all good. The class makes me want to BTK myself, if that were possible.
"Fiction"? God, sometimes I wish I was still in school. Then again, most times (like "always"), I’m glad I’m done. At least you’re taking fun/interesting classes though.
I wish I was going to college. MIT to be specific. Yes, Cal Tech would work too.
It’s a fiction writing class. I make jokes for 3 hours to prevent the teacher from telling the same stories over and over again. It’s like a special form of torture. It’s about three steps back from where I am.
I wish I had finished clown college. I never learned how to throw a pie correctly.
Did Hero leave? Does he know, that in my mind, he’s named after a female character from "Much Ado About Nothing"? and that nothing in Shakespeares time could mean vagina… no-thing. Yeah. I thought not.
I miss the big pants of Clown College. That and riding a bike through a loopy obstacle course to amuse the mafia and avoid being killed by aforementioned mafia.
Fat Tony can be such a prick.
add some proper grammar and spelling to my post. "Dude!"
Cal Tech would work too.
I want to go to Pacific Tech. Smart people on ice!
I never learned how to throw a pie correctly.
Your ladder-and-bucket gag skills still need work, too.
My dad made fun of my pie-throwing form all the time.
"Ha ha, where’d you learn to throw like that, you fag?"
"From you! I learned it from watching you!"
SPOILER ALERT!!!
Did you ever think you were like the son from "Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?"? That you didn’t exist? Me neither. That would be weird.
I’ve got fictional class tomorrow. I’m not too sure about the milieu yet. Maybe a girl’s private school during WW2. That could have all sorts of possibilities for likely sorts for tricks and sports.
I just played like 50 games of Uno. It seems pretty empty in here so I feel free to admit that.
I feel a lot better now.
I heard that, and I’m embarrassed for you. But don’t worry, I think we’re alone.
You’re not alone.
You’re never alone.
Would you still be embarrassed for me if I told you it was nekkid Uno?
That is crossing the line, mister!
I’m only embarrassed for you if you won at nekkid uno.
I would be totally jealous of you if you told me it was nekkid Uno. This is something I would seriously consider working into my own Sunday night schedule of debauchery. I could slot it in between strip Scrabble and Are You Smarter Than An American Idol.
Hey, Nom we are in chatzy
That’s nice.
I’m in Metairie.
I’m in the mood for love…
I used to work for a company with a branch in Metairie. Just thought I’d share.
Giants won. Congratulations
pepperHero You Hate.Who was that Chino?
Wire Rope Corp of America. Sounds hot, right? We made cables for cranes and rigging and stuff like that. Anyway, they pissed me off, I quit and they shut down. Serves ‘em right!
Is Pepper Hero You Hate? How do you know? Also, who is Dooter’s Dad? I think it was mentioned here a while back but I don’t remember and honestly, I am not mentally prepared to go back thru all of the crazy threads.
Pauly Dangerously is Dooter’s Dad. And a goddammed hero in my opinion.
He cracks my ass up! He is so bad! His is a twisted mind indeed.
Thank You JWiaDH
howdy all you fag-hatters…how the shit is everyone doing- i’m drinking tequila and you can all suck my peener.
i love you.
I am going to watch 3:10 to Yuma now so see ya’ll later.
Mr. Chino is making fun of me for coming here and talking to you folks. Whatever. He just doesn’t know. It is getting on my nerves, though, I must say.
Chino – awesome movie
Chodin – Hero is a cock. Sic him!
Is a peener like a dooter?
hey hero, i’m gonna’ fuck you with my verbal fortitude. the only thing smaller than my dick, is my patience for football-wearing avatar sucking mother fuckers. i wish violent christmas-related deaths to everyone in your family. i hope your first born is 40 weeks premature, and that your second born has hooves.
suck my cock, call me vanessa. you’ve got AIDS…the end of the rhyme.
dick-chesse.
xoxox, chodin
chodin, brilliant as always. you sir are an auteur.
You can wish in one hand and shit in the other big guy…
chodin, we’re all over @ chatzy if you wanna join
how can i “wish in one hand” and then “shit in the other” – when both hands are wrapped around my cock????
dick4????
Told you chodin would be pissed.
chodin whats a dick4?
I don’t know why you would want to shit in your hand at all. That’s just silly. Clearly you would wish with both hands.
pooping silly
and hero: it’s not the tequila talking…it’s my heart. my heart hates you…truly. your girlfriend has an over-bite, i’m sure…she’s probably a minority too.
I would wish for infinite wishes. Any other wish is a fool’s wager.
lil’ cuss has been signed up for one day on here…sorry, but you don’t get a signature pair of nikes yet, cocksuck. you have to make a basket first.
so far you’ve only kept the bench warm.
*smooooch*
I wished for a pony once, and I got one.
I should’ve wished for a live pony.
Or you could wish for more hands to hold wishes? That would be awesome.
Damn you, Monkey’s paw!
Like, sixteen hands.
If you wanted to hold the wishes why wouldn’t you just wish for a wish bag? Use your head babe.
Ok your drinking we get it what are you 12? is it your first time and is this where you get all your zaney internet comments from? Your cool buddy.
Shut up, erswi, i’m thinking about hands. Like you wouldn’t want a girl with sixteen hands.
Oh, wait, yeah. You don’t have sixteen dicks.
So it was a good plan up until reality set in, okay?
I’ve got one dick so you’ve already got 1 too many hands. Unless you’re working the ballz.
dear hero,
i’m sorry, the tquila can’t hear you!? didn’t you know that “clover-fuck” opened this weekend??? isn’t there a line somewhere that you should be waiting in??
Hero, when are we haging out for some karaoke in NYC?
hero,
if this were the real world house, you wouldn’t have even made it past the submission process…i’m sorry that we’re all rocking “prime-time” television, and you’re still somewhere on the oxygen network.
sick burrrrrrnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.
I said anytime you want Jacktion. You just let me know. Chodin, cmon man. I dont give a fuck about cloverfield. At all. I care more about getting my kicks about internet posting and making friends that way. Oh wait, thats you.
How’s next weekend for you, buddy?
dear hero,
i went to cloverfield…seemed like a flick that you and your panzy-assed girlfriends could enjoy; besides, i caught it at the cineplex near the mall: lots of shopping for you frick-fracks. we’re talking ginat pretzles for your girlfriends, while you try on new purses.
consider it bro-hoe?!?
“ginat” = the new “giant”.
QUEERS!!!!!!!
Was that last post saying how i have many girlfriends as i get laid alot? Because i dont think Al would like you saying that about me. (he thinks im a virgin shhhh)
um, dumbass. al is a chick. and you are a douche. and she still wouldn’t touch you.
no, no, my friend: you obviously mis-read that shit. you see, i intended “girlfriend” in the sense that jessica simpson’s hairstylist considers her a “girlfriend”…like when your dead mother has friends over and she says, “hey hero, a bunch of mommy’s bull-dyking girlfriends are coming over”…see, so when i say girlfriend i actually am talking about “friends” that are “girls”.
so don’t fret- okay jew?
What about karaoke night this weekend?
My bad Joker. Should i have asked a/s/l when i first posted? Fucking idiot.
My bad Joker. Should i have asked a/s/l when i first posted? Fucking idiot.
Sorry for the double post. And next weekend is fine, But you should try the Long Island bars theyre better. Hotter women.
hahaha, oh my GAWD….only king homos perform double-posts!!!
hahaha, oh man: DP on you, my friend!
yes you should have. and you should have posted that only once. or not at all.
I must be going to filmdrunk hell huh? Crucify me now. God your about as cool as cancer.
duder: cancer isn’t cool – HPV is cool!!! get with the know….
…oh, and another thing good sir: “you’re” = “you are”. kapeesh imbred? kapeesh, ignant hombre.
Ok so why doesnt everyone on FilmDrunk tell me their real a/s/l? We can turn this into a social night and share stories and maybe even play slingo later!
i’ve made it clear that i disregard my spelling when i’m not being graded. And the whole point was to compare you with something shitty, because face it… You suck.. Man i hate explaining things to fucking window lickers like you
Wow, Hero, I thought you were Film Drunk’s biggest fan until we started queering the place up with first amendment rights. You should already know this stuff, you shouldn’t have to take a poll.
because hero….we don’t want you to “dahmer” us later.
you fucking freak.
What the fuck is a window licker?
“window lickers”…look hero, i can’t help it if the “new born” window at the hospital makes me hungry, alright?
Look it up.Damn, you guys are sheltered. Now b.k, she has a cunt right? Dont worry,I won’t dahmer anyone i promise. i dont care enough about you to kill you. For some of you, itd be doing your families a favor and theyd probably pay me for it, but still.
Instead of making us look it up, why don’t you use insults that actually make sense?
I don’t just have a cunt, I am a cunt. Make a note of it.
My goodness, you’re such a beetle-wrangler sometimes!
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=window+licker
hero: noone admires a “dahmer” around these parts – again, get with the know. a nice ol’ fashioned BTK is what really shows who you love, and you who you don’t…and you, my friend, would surely never get the BTK from me, mon frare’.
im sure you got some dust on that cunt as well, you classy classy lady.
I’m surre a wookiee-shaver like you would know all about that.
Am I right, guys?
I’m sure your helmet is real, real shiny.
The extra "r" in sure is for "redundant"
hey hero: which is harder -
coming up with a football avatar, or thinking up a witty come-back????
You know using one question mark works all the same as using four right????
I thought you said we weren’t being graded on spelling and grammar!
see i can make gay grammar and spelling jokes, its just not as fun. i’d rather be talking about how chodin drinks alone and likes to brag about it because he’s got no friends to go the bar with. but his internet friends will save him! magic the gathering anyone?
no way: four dicks is way better than one.
you jewis.
I still don’t get the avatar jokes. Is that going to offend me?
yeah hero…i’m lame as fuck. a real man would drive to the bar, drink and then drive home drunk…
….shit, why can’t i be manly!?!?!?! FUCK-TARD!!!!!!!!!!
Thats what your sister always said huh?
Thats what your sister always said huh?
again, double-posts are for homos.
sorry hero.
Wow, that one was so "good" we got to read it twice.
shhhhhhh, hero….please bro, please don’t “reply”…just think about something witty to say.
dick4.
shhhhhhhh, shut the fuck up…..just shut the fuck up….
…shh…….
Is that bulldog sculptor still around?
Shut up, you salmon hooker!
Hey Hero – I never said you were a virgin. But I’m pretty sure you’re a eunuch.
What’s wrong with drinking alone???
wow you ran out of juice quick chodin. i thought you were supposed to be the big gun around here.
Dude, why are you after chodin’s gun? That’s kinda… you know… homosexual.
Silly! You don’t power firearms with juice! LOL!
well for one, drinking alone is a sign that no one else wants to drink WITH you. due to smell, attitude, lameness, chronic vomiting. i dunno. i guess its just me then.
Although it would make sense, what with you wanting to go to karaoke with me, an irresistable man that you just met.
its only gay if you cum.
its only gay if you cum.
What is? Roller coasters? Baking? Church sermons?
theres that unwarranted self worth again. just look in the mirror and say "no one loves me". Nothing worse then losers with ego.
God your fucking lame. Why is every girl unfunny?
If I cum, or if you cum?
I’ll have you know – no one wants to drink with me because I hog all the booze. Simple as that. Oh, and I smell.
But I never vomit on any of my friends. Much.
Nothing worse then losers with ego.
I love that you have no self-awareness.
Girls are unfunny? I guess that makes sense. But with that football player in your avatar, I thought you were a guy.
ZING!
Why is every girl unfunny?
Well, to you, I guess we would seem unfunny. Constant rejection is hardly a laughing matter.
What if you masturbate alone?
Is sex with a member of the opposite gender gay if you cum?
Because if it is, I might be gay.
Give Hero credit for being a proud black man having a white player for his avatar on MLK Day eve. That’s called keeping it real.
He’s in the east, Duke. It’s officially A2MLK Day here.
What if you cum together? Not like that Beatles’ song though.
If you are strangely attracted to someone’s androgenous avatar and are told they are the same sex as you, is that gay? Because I think I’m in love with Eib. And BK. And Lalala. And Chino. And – am I cheating on all of them? WITH all of them?
MLK’n the prosate? It’s aways BTK day here. But I never get the day off. I guess a BTKer’s work is never done.
Al, I think we’ve already established that the first rule of Tickle Club is not talking about it.
Pauly, I think it’s gay to cum ever.
Sorry.
The Hero hath spoken.
Yeah, I’m done. good night.
Don’t forget about next weekend!
So that means Hero’s gay cause he just “finished” right?
ZING!
+1 Pauly!
Sorry BK. I will never speak of this unspeakable unspeakableness again. Also, you’re "it". You know what I mean.
No snuggling, Hero? I feel so used.
Tickle Club will only lead to Project Pillow Fight.
By pillow fight, I mean my arousal.
Weekend is over. Hopefully everyone got all of this stupid shit out of their system and there won’t be any more trouble involving "that" word.
FIST!
SUCKIND
TURD!
A That’s retarded opportunity was missed there with that Hero fella. He’s no Dooter.
FIST!
Science Geek!