MTV was at Sundance when news of Heath Ledger’s passing hit, so naturally they asked Bijou Phillips about it because she’s also a famous person. Sorta.
Somehow, she manages to put into words the things we’ve all been thinking and feeling.
"I’ve met him a few times… It’s just not cool," she said.
Not since Abraham Lincoln’s letter to Ephraim and Phoebe Ellsworth has one person’s passing elicited such a deluge of eloquence. I can only hope that words of equal beauty will grace my own passing, and assuage the suffering of the thousands of models I’ve pleasured when I selflessly sacrifice my life to save a litter of newborn kittens from a band of bloodthirsty terrorists.
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SCAT!
Wow. My very first Scat! My small cock feels big now.
Bijou = Cum Dumpster
Yeah, well, I’ve never met him and you know what?
It’s cool. I could care less about him dying? You know what else? I’m glad he died.
*Actually I’m not glad, I just really don’t care. Like agressively apathetic towards it.
My dad died last January and i many women i overheard whispering about how big his cock was and how good he was in bed and i was quick to intoduce myself to them as his son. i couldn’t even get a sympathy hand job.
*overheard many women minus the first second i*
Ok, so i had a 40 oz for lunch. i used Heath as an excuse.
We’re here today to mourn the passing of Lance Martini. He was a man. Now he’s dead. Which kinda sucks. The bar’s open.
i hope someone works ‘was a pretty-ok guy’ into thier comments about my passing.
No fucking way Dad
pauly-boy. you better make sure SOMEone says SOMEthing non-derrogetory about your old man when i die. if you live longer than i do, that is…
You’re actually a few months late to that party J. I wrote a sweet eulogy for Lance some months ago and was told it was too long for him to read and include in CoTW. That fucker. Now I really do hope someone kills him. And whoever takes his place, gimme a CoTW or Fek will take you out also.
Damn these American feeds blocking Canadians from seeing this sort of stellar footage. Now I have to rely on you jerks to figure out what she said.
I want my tombstone to say:
Caring
Unpresumptuous
Nice
Thoughtful
Bronson Pinchot could not be reached for comment.
What? Oh. Her? Ummm. She said all Canadian’s suck. And that they picked the name of their country by pulling letters out of a hat. . . . . . . . . .
C, eh? . . . N, eh? . . . D, eh?
Boosh?
"Dude, did you hear, Luke Walton died! Well I think it was Luke Walton. The camera must add, like, eight inches."
Sorry Al. I meant to say – Boosh? eh?
Someone remind me: Who the fuck is Bijou Phillips?
She blew Howard Stern after his divorce SHERIFF
Bijou Phillip’s agent was asked to corroborate her relationship with Ledger. He was quoted as saying "Did that bitch get paid for the interview? Thank God – I’m starving!"
Hey guys, so like, I ride in the Krewe of Endymion parade on Saturday the 3rd of February and this comment is lifted straight from http://www.endymion.org. The quote is in introduction of our celebrity grand marshall for this year’s parade.
When it comes to big names in Hollywood they don’t come any bigger than Kevin Costner.
W. . . . T. . . . F?
So last night I was playing Rockband, and realized what Canada’s greatest export is.
Neil Peart
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1bIchqJoxFQ
After the first 20 seconds or so, your brain will begin to melt.
Best. Drummer. Ever.
Jesus – I scored a 90% on Expert drumming to Tom Sawyer last week.
Now who’s your idol, biatch?
BijouMaleBoy_ShaunDeWet= Cum DumpsterFIXED!
I just added this condition to my will:
"If I ever become famous and then die suddenly, and you need someone to comment on my death, and you see Bijou Philips sitting on a couch, please interview the couch."
It would have been funnier if I said "Who’s your messiah now, biatch".
Oh well.
I’ve only gotten to 82%. Soooo, I guess you are Mr. Soup sir. I will say in my defense, that I wouldn’t miss nearly as many notes if my kid wouldn’t keep fucking up on the guitar. It throws my timing off. At least that’s what I keep telling her. Then she feels bad and momma ends up shutting down the train to cooterville for a few weeks.
i think this is canada’s greatest export besides canadian mist…
[tinyurl.com]
I’m kinda surprised that Philips didn’t just deep-throat the microphone.
JHC – I agree he is the greatest drummer ever, but due to Geddy’s nasal, whiny voice, it’s not possible for me to listen to Rush without stabbing myself in the eye. I’ll take Dave Grohl instead.
BTW, our greatest export is our pot. It’s lumped in with "forestry" in our GNP.
bne – due south? i love you man.
The game is at my friends house – I wanted to keep trying it, but only got to do it once.
I actually just stopped watching the screen for instructions other than the bass line and played it like I know. It was easier for me that way.
I do better on the hard/expert settings than easy/medium because I can’t predict what they’re going to leave out.
Rotwangchung- suprised or disapointed?
Canada’s greatest export- Pam Anderson pre Hep A-B-C-D
My favorite part of Canada is the part in Epcot.
i wonder if there’s also a correlation of filmdrunks-architecture/engineering-people that watched due south right after work on TNT…THEN i think i have really found a jury of my peers. god save me if i ever go to court!
My favorite part of Canada is southern Louisiana.
Don’t forget we gave you William Shatner, you Shatner-stealing Mexico-touchers.
Jack, i thought it was the ‘cleaner-friendlier’ portion of the service area @ Epcot…
erswi, (to be said like humperdink)MY PEOPLE! are canadians that got kicked out of canada by king george during the britishization of SE french-canada. then we went to prichard alabama and then moved to where you are now.
I thought Canada was a mythical place. Like Narnia or the g-spot.
Michael O’Donohue used to call Canada "The Great Sleeping Retarded Giant to our North".
My favorite Canadian export – my collection of friggin coins that get slipped into my change. Now that they’re finally worth something, that is.
‘lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins and eskimos’
i like ‘canada, america’s hat’
Amen soup. The first time I tried Tom Sawyer on medium, I kept double kicking the bass and wasn’t supposed to. Fuckers. The only thing I think I would change about the drum pads would be to have added a fifth one right in the middle for the snare. Not hitting the high-hat cross armed is a little wierd.
*MTV approaches chodin at sundance*
MTV: “chodin, your thoughts on heath ledger’s death?”
chodin: “yo, i hear that dude is funny as fuck now on chatzy!”
i think this is canada’s greatest export besides canadian mist…
[tinyurl.com]
Paul Gross! Yay!
Favourite Canadian non-export
BUTTER TARTS!
Bijous Phillips- Proof that even semi-famous twats w/ formerly semi-famous parents can be downright who-ers. I like to call that little number "The Kardashian Rule". (Not to be confused with the "Nubian’s Toilet Rule")
-Sheikh al-Gore
SUCKMEBEAUTIFUL: Rotwangchung- suprised or disapointed?
Actually, I’m sort of impressed. When it comes to gratuitous blowjobs, those Hollywood party skanks are conditioned like Pavlov’s dogs….if the dogs had zero self-esteem and serious daddy issues. Which, let’s face it, they probably did.
Yes, Bijou is a vacuouc twat… but man, that annoying bitch from MTV News needs a good dickslapping. I don’t mean that in the good way, either.
Canadian Stuff I Care To Know Aboot:
Best thing Canada ever decided to keep to themselves?
BUTTER TARTS!
we don’t need em. we got pecan pies. the way god intended.
post-death, i don’t so much want to be “mourned” by bijou phillips, as i do “necro-molested” by bijou phillips.
Rotwangchung -zero self-esteem and serious daddy issues
Is there any thing better than such a gal?
Good Day Homos! Why does Britney still live?
I love how Bijou died in Hostel 2. it made me laugh out loud. those movies are hilarious
Best things Canadians kept:
Mr. Dressup, buttertarts, nanaimo bars, that sex position that we don’t talk about, eh?
Thanks a lot Duke. I didn’t know you cared.
Good Day
HomosNegroes! Why doesBritneyWhitey still live?Fixst.
SuckMeBeautiful: zero self-esteem and serious daddy issues
Is there any thing better than such a gal?
Oh, I didn’t mean that in a bad way. I meant it in a "nicely convenient" sort of way.
Lalala, there’s one thing on your list that I must inquire about. What’s a nanaimo bar?
If I ever have a daughter named Bijou, please shoot me.
If ever have a son named Bijou, please join me in laughing at him.
second that, eib. i loved the mattes over everyone’s cell-phone during the bidding wars in that movie…very high-tech.
Best things Canadians kept:
Mr. Dressup, buttertarts, nanaimo bars, that sex position that we don’t talk about, eh?
Would that be Moose-y style?
I’m not sure how to feel about Canada. I love pot, strippers, and universal health care, but I also love making fun of large groups of people for no reason. What to do!
Wow erswi, you guys seriously don’t have nanaimo bars??
and Lala – ixnay on the exsay ositionpay, eh? They’re not supposed to find out about that.
I’m not sure how to feel about Canada. I love pot, strippers, and universal health care, but I also love making fun of large groups of people for no reason. What to do!
I think you’ll find it easier if you don’t think of them as "people", Lance.
Keep your stupid sex position! I don’t want to fuck the same way that anyone from Nickelback fucks, anyway!
wiki nanimo bars. Very tasty.
Keep your stupid sex position! I don’t want to fuck the same way that anyone from Nickelback fucks, anyway!
No one from Canada has sex with Nickelback. That’s why they went to America. There they are exotic, like hairless cats.
Ironically, Jack – the position is called "The Nickelback"…
My favorite Canadian sex position is the "Bachman Turner Overandfucker" position where the man gets behind the woman and rests his hairy belly on her ass and starts "Takin’ Care of Business".
Looks pretty good. you forgot about poutine. dont canadians love that stuff?
My favorite Canadian band is The Tragically Hip. They’re getting up there in age though, so soon they’re going to need to change their name to The Tragically Broken Hip.
Time to go take some pain killers and some ambien and huff some nail polish remover. Then O.D. Then go get some universal health care and maybe a double-double and a timbit (neither the name of the Sex Position).
poutine is a fuckng mess…it’s basically one of those KFC shit bowls, only dressed up in a tuxedo t-shirt.
This is how you remind me of how nickelback sucks.
Ok, Candians are too polite for sex. You are just trying to make us think they have special secrets.
I know cho, it looks digusting
My wife and I prefer the ‘Bryan Adams’. You start off strong with a 69 (logically), and then completely lose interest.
Spoiler! the secret Candian postion is:
Missionary Lumberjack
its done the same as the vanilla missionary, only you are both wearing flannel, cause its fucking freezing
Jacktion! shouted I don’t want to fuck the same way that anyone from Nickelback fucks, anyway!
For exactly 3:30 and at the same tempo every time, while you call out a different name every time and hope the chick doesn’t notice?
Canadians love sex!
At least the Canadian girlfriend I had when I was in high school did.
Ok, in addition to all the girls in the Niagra falls area, anyone we would know Jack?
extra beejs if you know the reference. and, youre old if you do.
…so, um…we’re all pretty over this whole ‘dead movie star thing’, huh?
Also, my favorite Canadian sex position is the "Alanis Morrisette," where I dump a chick right after she goes down on me in a theater.
well, Cho, its sad and all, but come on. We gotta live!
Is it true that Canadian men ejaculate maple syrup?
This "job" thing is a huge cramp in my ass. I seriously can barely keep up with you fuckers.
Eib – I can totally hear that line being spoken. It’ll come to me – I promise.
Breakfast Club
The secret Canadian sex position is called the Canadian Flag.
It’s basically just having sex while she’s on her period.
It’s red, then it’s white, then it’s red again.
Yeah, Im still in therapy about that, Stinky.
Fuck – that’s it.
Yeah, wait I cant give you a beej AGB. Lingerie pillow fight?
If you ask, I’ll totally Bijou.
my favorite canadian move is the: military draft dodge.
She’s right death isn’t cool and it needs to stop.
I’m glad we have one of the greatest minds in the world, Bijou Phillips, working on a cure for death.
While discussing positions, my ex-wife said she wanted to try "Bare Naked Ladies". I was sold by the title alone, then I found out she was actually fucking the band.
My wife and I were set to try the "Royal Mountie," but I couldn’t find the hat or the handcuffs.
Lance Martini is dead.
Me: Oh, shit, no. No, no. God, wasn’t he the guy who … uh, no that was … geeze bummer. Dead, eh? God. You just never … are you going to eat all that?
what’s up you fucking queers! sorry i havent been posting today, i just started school therefore cannot be a productive member of society from the times of 7am-3pm. As for Canada, their greatest export will always be Canadian vagina. Here in Vegas it’s a rare delicacy to have, like duck-billed platypus or some she-told-me-she-was-over-18 vagina.
Fuck work. Breakfast Club. I knew that one.
Erswi, since I know you are sad that your avatar died, you get a freebie anyway
I’ve always liked Bijou Phillips.
She was so sweet in that little movie where the two hispanic fellows taught her how to corn-hole.
My favorite Canadian export next to Neil Peart is Moose Knuckle.
Is Candian currency called the dollar or Canadian bacon?
I believe Molson bottle caps are used for currency. Pauly.
tango!!!! looking fuckin’ RIPPED these days hombre!
Is Candian currency called the dollar or Canadian bacon?
It’s called the loonie. It has a loon on it.
Loons are the oldest birds. That’s why they appear first in bird books.
It’s called the loonie. It has a loon on it.
And on the other side is some sort of bird.
BONG!!!!!!
So why did that Canuck I blew pay me in fucking bacon?
Everybody needs to get over this whole "Batman will be difficult to watch because he died" business. I have trouble sitting through the other stupid Batman films and all of those people are still alive.
Hey dubs, you COD playin’ muthafucka! How’s the degree from The University of Phoenix coming along?
GRRRR……some credits may not be transferrable!!!!
Was it peameal bacon? If so, then that is the bartering system. If not, it’s still the bartering system.
JWinDH
Batman 2 will just be a snuff film. And before you ask, I will be beating off to it.
Because you were willing to accept it.
Because you were willing to accept it.
Well someone brought up BLT’s the pther day. I just had a hankerin’.
PUNDer day*
Friggin’ eskimos. Go back to your own country.
agb: Thanks, I haven’t seen a line that straight since I tried to use the men’s room at a fundamentalist revival.
CASH, THANKS BROHA! IVE BEEN DOING DOUBLE SESSIONS THESE PAST FEW DAYS! GRRR….VAGINAL RECONSTRUCTION!!!
JHC, IT’S BEEN GOING GOOD BRO, THE PHOE (AS WE LIKE TO CALL IT) IS TAKING CARE OF ME. AS FOR THE COD, I HAVE NOT BEEN PLAYING IVE BEEN TOO BUSY WITH MY NEW JOB TO BE KILLING ‘DURKA DURKS ON THAT SHIT, BUT NEXT COUPLE OF DAYS IM FREE SO WE’LL HIT THAT SHIT UP (THAT GOES FOR YOU TOO CASH!)
Hell, if anything, this Batman film will be better to watch because he passed away. Have you noticed that the best-loved classic films of all time were made by dead people? Chaplin, Bogart, Brando, Will Ferrel, the list goes on and on.
i hate durkas…almost as much as i used to hate police force rivalries.
I jihad to take a wicked shit while ago.
I wouldn’t go in the bathroom for a while if I were you. It smells like durka in there.
Wurd dubs, wurd.
My bad. Will Ferrel is apparently still alive. Replace him with "Keaneu Reeves" then.
I think Reeves died on the first day of shooting for Johnny Mnemonic. Didn’t stop them though.
New up fags and dykes.
(smokes and wirecutters)
Who is this shallow, vapid little bitch?
Does anyone call what Will Ferrell does "alive"?
"before brad died he shot a load in my eye and it burned, and i was just like ‘that’s so not cool’…"