The is the first five minutes of Teeth, which looks like a really weird John Waters-type movie.
Starring Jess Weixler and John Hensley, the plot crunch goes like this: High school student Dawn works hard at suppressing her budding sexuality by being the local chastity group’s most active participant. Her task is made even more difficult by her bad boy stepbrother Brad’s increasingly provocative behavior at home. A stranger to her own body, innocent Dawn discovers she has a toothed vagina when she becomes the object of violence. As she struggles to comprehend her anatomical uniqueness, Dawn experiences both the pitfalls and the power of being a living example of the vagina dentata myth.
I dunno man, in my experience, these abstinence advocacy prudes rarely have teeth down there – just a lot of hair. Like, a lot of hair.
Abstinence is a great strategy though. Because usually what’ll happen is, a guy will start trying to bang you, and eventually it’ll consume his entire life so much that he agrees to marry you, and it’ll be only after he starts getting regular sex that he’ll realize how annoying you really are and that he doesn’t even like you, let alone love you. But by then he’s trapped because you’re married and are gonna have kids together and you’ve done trapped yourself a husband who hates your guts just like it says in the bible.



1-2-3-4! Fuck that pussy til it’s sore!
This girl is like a leper so what she needs to do is try and find god
if she really believes she can be healed from this state, she will be healed from this state
Most afflictions like this are caused by sins committed while still inside the womb. If she can repent for what she does god will embrace her and make her as human as you or me but if she chooses not to she’ll always be like this
god tests every one of us
Polio.
"it’ll consume his entire life so much that he agrees to marry "
This is why I always put out on the first date.
It hurts my thingy when chicks have too much hair. Aside from that, this movie looks pretty unrealistic.
Fek: you gotta stop quoting that shit on the evangelical top 100 site. shit creeps me out.
a great thing about abstinance was revealed by bill maher on his show on HBO a few years ago. the ‘abstinance movement’ has seen the rise of high school girls giving up anal.
‘i’m saving myself for marriage, so put it in my ass tonight ok? i’ll suck your dick later, i promise.’
you mean womens dont have a penis?
I’m so weirded out…yet strangely turned on.
Time to go buy some dentures for my
girlfriendblow up dollWhere were the oral/anal abstinence loving girls when I was in school? Were you guys in a liberal arts high school or something?
bne_pro- I saw that special too. I really miss highschool.
All these exponents of abstenance and celibacy should be raped. Hard.
There. I said it.
Thats 5 minutes of my life….period.
I had teeth in my dick last night-your mom’s.
I’ve said it before and this won’t be the last time. Polio.
This does beg the question, do chicks with teeth in their woohaa lose a first set, then grow an adult set? One thing is for sure, they won’t get the wisdom teeth til they had my shlong. They’ll also get in their 12 year-old molars.
Erswi @ 14:13- that is EXACTLY what i said when i saw the show…’WHAT!? where were those bitches when i was in hight school!?’ i also thought that i might go ahead and fill out those forms to be a substitute
bird rapistteacher after all.Fixodent and forget it.
Nom: I’m pretty sure that this only happens in Japanese cartoons. Right?
To answer your question Nom, yes they do lose a first set of teeth and regrow adult teeth. That’s not the important part. The important part is that when they lose the two front teeth from their vag, it’s makes them whistle when they queef.
This is why I always put out on the first date.
So… doing anything this Friday, Al?
Alright drunkards, time for me to put my time in at work. Hopefully my boss has a meeting or something this afternoon. If not I’ll catch up tonight. Manwich and fifis for everyone!
in order to listerine her cooch, this broad would have to stand on her head.
I betcha they cheap out and never show the monster.
Oh, this isn’t a Cloverfield thread?
She could make a great living as a novelty pencil sharpener… I’d pay good money for that service. Then spend the whole day sitting at my desk, sniffing my pencil.
What?! Oh…
duke: i’m nominating that when the time CUMS…
I’ll say it again – prize fighter.
Anyone else hoping that when it comes time to reveal the "main character" that they just cut to the Star Wars scene where Han Solo is dangling off Jabba’s barge over the Pit of Carkoon?
Stoney-Prize fighter SO should have won a nod. The Mighty Fek’lhr thinks Lance is a little retarded sometimes.
Pit of Carkoon?
How about when it belches after eating Boba Fhett?
So like, can she eat with that thing?
Hairy: Yes. Dick.
Guys, can we please refer to it as the Sarlaac Pit? That’s the way God intended it.
this chick should get a platinum grill for her pussy.
make em’ say UNNNNNNNNNNHHHHHHHHH !!!!!
Ever get a hair stuck between your teeth? This chick’s gotta be in constant hell.
can we please refer to it as the Sarlaac Pit?
I’m still trying to figure out when we stopped calling it "bryce’s grandmother"?
I know it can chomp dick, but what would happen if you stuck…sayyy…a chilidog up there? What about pasta, can it eat pasta?
so you think if no one believed in any religion there would be no wars or fighting? i think it would be worse. i know if i didn’t fear god’s judgement i would have killed many many times.
so did anyone watch the golden globes?
Jack, if we’re going to refer to this as the Sarlacc Pit, does that mean all dick references ahould be replaced with Boba Fett?
Fek: Please. It isn’t God’s judgement you need to fear. It’s being sent to prison and being bum raped for the rest of your life. Also I’m pretty sure Klingon Gods advocate killing people.
DOR SHO GHA!
boba fett blasted himself up outta that stanky ass
anyone else really creeped out by this movie? The whole abstinence group thing is weird enough, but the fact that she has teeth in her vagina sharp enough to cut the kids finger to that ridiculous amount, wouldn’t it just rip her vagina apart? how many paris of underwear does her vagina eat in a week?
God kills more people daily than you ever could in your entire life Fek, fucking amatuer.
Bryce…and just what the hell is wrong with being "bum raped"?
…
Dor sho gha!
Grrr…UFC 69!
It is true, in the wide angle shots from Jedi you can make out that it was my Grandmother, mostly covered with sand.
:-(
fett for sure pulled out…he knew that puss was a fucking whore.
boba fett blasted himself up outta that stanky ass
The Mighty One ain’t listenin’ to that shit. Bobe Fhett is dead. Prepare Lingerie and Pillows!
fek, im gonna go han solo on yo greedo ass
Fek‘s right, don’t be quoting that Expanded Universe bullshit in here. If it didn’t happen on screen then it didn’t happen period. Do you even know what canon means? Jesus Christ!
I meant use Sarlaac Pit rather than Pit of Carkoon.
Pit of Carkoon just sounds dorky.
Do you even know what canon means?
It’s a good camera, right?
ZING!!
Han Solo shot first!
…
Oh shit!
My other joke was:
Do you even know what canon means?
Sure do! I’m in the Civil War Reenactment Society!
HEYOOOOOOOOOO!
Jabba the Hutt wasn’t a giant slug, he was a fat Scotsman.
YOU ARE CORRECT SIR!!
new up yingyangs
YINGYANGS? damnit fek you aint even trying no mo homes
Jabba the Hutt wasn’t a fat Scotsman, he was a foam latex puppet with a midget inside operating the puppet controls.
Goddam you people are ignorant.
"Little person" is the preferred nomenclature.
Jabba was a Little Person with a midget inside?
The Mighty Fek’lhr can’t believe all those little boys lied! That fucking guy from Blues Traveller could come out of the tv and half the boys would fuck him.
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Who the fuck is jasl?
Seriously, just show some courtesy and get a fucking avatar, and I’ll leave you alone.