FAT KID FROM STAND BY ME PARODIES CRUISE

There are 230 comments about:

FAT KID FROM STAND BY ME PARODIES CRUISE

1. 

   01.22.08 at 11:02 am

   jokerswild

   This fucking douche is balls deep in Rebecca Romijn on a nightly basis. Where’s the justice, I ask you?
2. 

   01.22.08 at 11:02 am

   Fek'lhr

   Jerry O’Connell is a Jason Bateman wannabe.
3. 

   01.22.08 at 11:03 am

   Fek'lhr

   (says the guy with an avatar that looks like Teen Wolf dressed as a pedo-clown)
4. 

   01.22.08 at 11:05 am

   Eibmoz

   are there any other types of clowns, I ask you?
5. 

   01.22.08 at 11:07 am

   jokerswild

   I see it more as an after-effect of one of those Messin’ With Sasquatch commercials Fek. You know like Sasquatch got fuckin trashed at the kegger and passed out and everybody decided to paint him up like a clown and take pictures of themselves tea bagging him. Then Sasquatch wakes up and lemmetellyouonething, HE IS NOT FUCKIN HAPPY! So then he rips the arms offa the captain of the soccer team (like he needed them anyway) and proceeds to FIST the other ne’er do wellers in their asses with the dismembered arms for their inviolate treatment of him that reminded him so painfully of his youth growing up in a Catholic boys’ orphanage.

   Who said all the writers were on strike? 
6. 

   01.22.08 at 11:09 am

   Stinky Peet

   C’mon, that was fucking funny.  *** phooooooo ***
7. 

   01.22.08 at 11:12 am

   Nominus

   OKay then, Jerry Oconnell is so far the only one who’s been in a funny or die video who doesn’t have to kill himself. Because that was funny. Did Rebecca Romaine dump uncle Jesse for him? Good show old boy.
8. 

   01.22.08 at 11:15 am

   Pauly Dangerously

   "He can have Rebecca Ramen Soup, but Jesse and the Rippers, well that’s all mine"

   -Hermes "Jesse" Katsopolis
9. 

   01.22.08 at 11:34 am

   jokerswild

   Durst? Durst. And so much potential.
10. 

    01.22.08 at 11:45 am

    Watanabex

    it was funny but i laughed more at craig fergusons tom cruise parody over at gorillamask
11. 

    01.22.08 at 11:46 am

    Nominus

    Revision W. I’m on fucking revision W over here erswi. Pick a goddamned design and stick with it, Snorkel. Goddamn you.
12. 

    01.22.08 at 11:51 am

    Hugh G. Rection

    Actually, I gotta say that I think it’s pretty cool that old Vern-o gets to blow his load all over RR’s pretty face. Good for him!
13. 

    01.22.08 at 11:53 am

    bryce

    He better watch his ass… the SeaOrgs will be giving him shit now.

    "What did you do that for?! Why?! Really?! WE ARE THE ONLY ONES THAT CAN HELP!"
14. 

    01.22.08 at 11:54 am

    Burnsy

    My Secret Identity was the super balls.
15. 

    01.22.08 at 11:55 am

    bdgavin

    "Sliders" was crap.  Now, "My Secret Identity", that was a damn good show.   
16. 

    01.22.08 at 12:02 pm

    Nominus

    I saw an episode of Carpoolers that was pretty funny. I’ve only seen that one episode though, so based on that, the show will be cancelled very soon.
17. 

    01.22.08 at 12:10 pm

    jokerswild

    Boss is back from outta town. My drunkery will be sporadic @ best for  rest of day.
18. 

    01.22.08 at 12:15 pm

    affleckwasthebomb

    How the hell did that chubber fuck grow into some one who can boff  Rebecca Romijn?

    I was a chubby kid and guess what? I’m still a chubby fuck and I’m definately not boffing  Rebecca Romijn.
19. 

    01.22.08 at 12:16 pm

    Hating on all Oconnells

    I need a blow torch to burn those hellish caterpillar looking things Jerry calls eyebrows off his worthless face.  I hate all Oconnells.
20. 

    01.22.08 at 12:21 pm

    baedo

    i always confuse chunk from goonies with verne or whatever his name is in stand by me.
21. 

    01.22.08 at 12:21 pm

    Nominus

    You have got to be kidding me.
22. 

    01.22.08 at 12:23 pm

    Eibmoz

    Hey, hating on Oconnells, are you John Stamos?
23. 

    01.22.08 at 12:24 pm

    Eibmoz

    Or maybe Wil Wheaton?
24. 

    01.22.08 at 12:24 pm

    JHC

    When I was a kid, I wasn’t chubby.  But I did do the five knuckle shuffle quite a bit.  Still do actually.
25. 

    01.22.08 at 12:25 pm

    Pauly Dangerously

    Looks like he’s on the cherry-flavored Pez diet.
26. 

    01.22.08 at 12:26 pm

    Nominus

    Wil Wheaton was shot by Terrorists who were trying to secure the release of their leader. Sean Astin saw the whole thing go down, and he let it happen.
27. 

    01.22.08 at 12:26 pm

    Pauly Dangerously

    Sincerely
28. 

    01.22.08 at 12:27 pm

    Eibmoz

    sthinshterly
29. 

    01.22.08 at 12:28 pm

    Pauly Dangerously

    What’s Davy Hogan up to these days?
30. 

    01.22.08 at 12:29 pm

    Eibmoz

    wow, that cast has some total sadness : star trek, dead, might as well be dead.
31. 

    01.22.08 at 12:32 pm

    Jacktion!

    There’s a lesson to be learned here:

    If you’re a fat kid, just be a total douche, and everything will work out for you. 
32. 

    01.22.08 at 12:33 pm

    Fek'lhr

    Jack!-it’s not working out for me.
33. 

    01.22.08 at 12:33 pm

    Jacktion!

    P.S. My Secret Identity sucked donkey dong.

    Out of This World, that was a show!

    I miss you, Evie! 
34. 

    01.22.08 at 12:34 pm

    Eibmoz

    Oh my god jack, no way! that show was so strange. Dad in a box
35. 

    01.22.08 at 12:34 pm

    Jacktion!

    Fek, you’re not a kid anymore.

    Plus, you’re not a total douche. 
36. 

    01.22.08 at 12:34 pm

    Jacktion!

    It’s my dad in a box!
37. 

    01.22.08 at 12:36 pm

    Fek'lhr

    *Plus, you’re not a total douche. *

    That’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. 
38. 

    01.22.08 at 12:37 pm

    Jacktion!

    BTW, some of you have said that this was funny, but I’m not falling for your trick. Jerry O’Connell is incapable of anything but smarm.
39. 

    01.22.08 at 12:37 pm

    Eibmoz

    <this girl?
40. 

    01.22.08 at 12:37 pm

    Pauly Dangerously

    You think Kangaroo Jack can beat up Superman?
41. 

    01.22.08 at 12:38 pm

    chodin

    gabriel cash, reporting for dooter, i mean duty.
42. 

    01.22.08 at 12:38 pm

    Nominus

    He’s capable of banging Rebika Romaine. I wonder if he’s smarmy when asking for a beej.
43. 

    01.22.08 at 12:39 pm

    Pauly Dangerously

    Fek, don’t sell yourself short you’re a kotal douche.
44. 

    01.22.08 at 12:40 pm

    Eibmoz

    you have to ask for a beej? you people know the wrong women
45. 

    01.22.08 at 12:40 pm

    chodin

    where’s hero today? that guy made my tequila angry the other night.
46. 

    01.22.08 at 12:40 pm

    Jacktion!

    EVIE!
47. 

    01.22.08 at 12:41 pm

    Eibmoz

    Goliath!
48. 

    01.22.08 at 12:41 pm

    Fek'lhr

    Eib, you and my wife need to have a talk some time.
49. 

    01.22.08 at 12:41 pm

    Nominus

    He hasn’t been seen since his favorite commentor(you) tore him to shreds. It was your Sargent Peppers, chode.
50. 

    01.22.08 at 12:42 pm

    Pauly Dangerously

    Jerry O’Connell also piped Kimi Gibler. True Story
51. 

    01.22.08 at 12:42 pm

    Eibmoz

    Dont talk about him, you may summon him.
52. 

    01.22.08 at 12:43 pm

    Eibmoz

    ewww Gibler? so, he’s been poking around Stamos leftovers for a long time.
53. 

    01.22.08 at 12:44 pm

    Jacktion!

    Maybe Tom Cruise will put out a video making fun of Douchologists like O’Connell, or maybe just making fun of every godawful piece of crap that O’Connell has done recently. I’d rather gouge my own eyes out with spoons made of salt than watch a minute of Carpoolers . It was already cancelled, but ABC just figured they’d get their money’s worth on all the crap they spent money on during the strike.
54. 

    01.22.08 at 12:44 pm

    Fek'lhr

    Dirt Pipe Milkshakes: It needed to be said.
55. 

    01.22.08 at 12:46 pm

    Fek'lhr

    The Mighty fek’lhr wonders why every group of boys in movies has to have the token fat kid or Jew? We all know fat kids and Jews don’t have friends. You are really fucked if you are a fat Jewish kid.
56. 

    01.22.08 at 12:46 pm

    Eibmoz

    Tom Cruise has no sense of humor any more. It was sucked out of him like a Dirt Pipe Milkshake
57. 

    01.22.08 at 12:46 pm

    Jacktion!

    JERRY O’CONNELL MAKES ME ANGRY!

    YOU WOULDN’T LIKE ME WHEN I’M ANGRY!
58. 

    01.22.08 at 12:47 pm

    Eibmoz

    I dont like you now
59. 

    01.22.08 at 12:48 pm

    Nominus

    Jack, I nailed the multiple personality disorder thing last night. You know it, I know it, and roy knows it.
60. 

    01.22.08 at 12:48 pm

    Pauly Dangerously

    I saw Kimi Gibler in Faces with Braces.
61. 

    01.22.08 at 12:48 pm

    Fek'lhr

    Nom, normally it wouldn’t bother me, but being that I am pretty durst this week, can you move the nom you made for me from the comments page to the nom page? It might be my only chance.
62. 

    01.22.08 at 12:48 pm

    Stone Soup

    You are really fucked if you are a fat Jewish kid.

    Wow.  You just nailed my childhood without an ounce of exageration. 
63. 

    01.22.08 at 12:49 pm

    Fek'lhr

    You just nailed my childhood without an ounce of exageration.

    I was a fat poor kid, almost as bad. :( 
64. 

    01.22.08 at 12:50 pm

    Jacktion!

    Aw, Stone… did you wear husky pants?
65. 

    01.22.08 at 12:50 pm

    Pauly Dangerously

    Do you guys get the brain freeze when you sip your Dirt Pipe Milkshakes too fast? Or is it just me?
66. 

    01.22.08 at 12:51 pm

    Fek'lhr

    Nommz, I RUV YOU!
67. 

    01.22.08 at 12:51 pm

    Fek'lhr

    The Mighty Fek’lhr hated HUSKY shit from KMart. It was too tight.
68. 

    01.22.08 at 12:51 pm

    Nominus

    It is done, Mr Fek. Now fuck off. How the hell did I bookmark the wrong thread?
69. 

    01.22.08 at 12:52 pm

    Fek'lhr

    Nice hobbit! We hads lots of nice nominations for you, too, my love!

    GOLLUM! GOLLUM! 
70. 

    01.22.08 at 12:52 pm

    Pauly Dangerously

    Hows abouts being the fat, poor, mexican kid, nicknamed Husky?
71. 

    01.22.08 at 12:53 pm

    Eibmoz

    Fek, I get nominated and still havent won.
72. 

    01.22.08 at 12:53 pm

    Fek'lhr

    Dude, where’s my dirt pipe cuntpunch?
73. 

    01.22.08 at 12:54 pm

    Fek'lhr

    Eib-I thought we had this conversation!
74. 

    01.22.08 at 12:54 pm

    Nominus

    Eib, that is bullshit. And it doesn’t make sense. Neither does how I phrased this. Suck on that while trying to figure out what I meant by this.
75. 

    01.22.08 at 12:54 pm

    Pauly Dangerously

    Fek, you are a ATM commenting machine.
76. 

    01.22.08 at 12:55 pm

    Eibmoz

    by the way, i can never listen to the song "milkshake" the same way again
77. 

    01.22.08 at 12:56 pm

    Nominus

    by the way, i can never listen to the song "milkshake" the same way again

     

    All too easy to fix 
78. 

    01.22.08 at 12:57 pm

    Eibmoz

    well ,yeah, but i hear it sometimes in passing. i dont listen on purpose

     
79. 

    01.22.08 at 12:59 pm

    Eibmoz

    and, Fek, I get nominated for stuff unrelated to my usual witty (ok, silly) banter.
80. 

    01.22.08 at 1:00 pm

    Fek'lhr

    Dor sho gha! The other woman that works in His office is spazzing! If I don’t comment for like an hour, I might be dead!
81. 

    01.22.08 at 1:01 pm

    Nominus

    If you smell like ass, and chodin is having sex with you, then you, my friend, might be dead.
82. 

    01.22.08 at 1:03 pm

    Jacktion!

    If you’ve recently won an Amy Winehouse look-alike competition, then you just might be dead.
83. 

    01.22.08 at 1:05 pm

    Eibmoz

    If you were in the cast of Stand By Me, you might be dead
84. 

    01.22.08 at 1:06 pm

    Eibmoz

    If your a zombie, you might be undead
85. 

    01.22.08 at 1:06 pm

    Pauly Dangerously

    If you got "Fuck All Y’all" tattoo on you………
86. 

    01.22.08 at 1:06 pm

    Eibmoz

    or unfunny
87. 

    01.22.08 at 1:08 pm

    Jacktion!

    If Andrew McCarthy spends weekends at your house… you might be dead.
88. 

    01.22.08 at 1:09 pm

    Jacktion!

    What was the other guy’s name? Jonathan Silver? Silverman? I can never remember.
89. 

    01.22.08 at 1:10 pm

    Eibmoz

    yeah, silverman
90. 

    01.22.08 at 1:12 pm

    Pauly Dangerously

    If your name starts with a "d" and ends with "ooter" then i will give you the "Devil’s Doorknob".
91. 

    01.22.08 at 1:15 pm

    baedo

    if your brother’s best friend’s name in high school was ‘chris chambers’ that would be interesting…
92. 

    01.22.08 at 1:17 pm

    baedo

    almost as interesting as the actor who portrayed ‘chris chambers’ in stand by me (river phoenix) dying in real life…god rest his speedy little soul.
93. 

    01.22.08 at 1:18 pm

    Jacktion!

    WORST "YOU MIGHT BE" THREAD EVER!
94. 

    01.22.08 at 1:18 pm

    Nominus

    AAAAAhahaha, I come back to see the shit I started seconds before leaving for lunch. I’m a weiner:!!
95. 

    01.22.08 at 1:19 pm

    Nominus

    Hey, fuck you Jack. You chose to do it.
96. 

    01.22.08 at 1:22 pm

    Jacktion!

    Is there a new post yet?

    I hate Jerry O’Connell. 
97. 

    01.22.08 at 1:25 pm

    Fek'lhr

    PHEW! Psycholady left! He is safe!
98. 

    01.22.08 at 1:31 pm

    Fek'lhr

    LOL! I made a funny in the uringotun thread!
99. 

    01.22.08 at 1:31 pm

    Stone Soup

    Aw, Stone… DO you wear husky pants?

    Fixed, and yes. 
100. 

     01.22.08 at 1:31 pm

     Pauly Dangerously

     PHEW! Psycholady left! He is safe!

      

     So the Cunt Punch works?
101. 

     01.22.08 at 1:33 pm

     Fek'lhr

     So the Cunt Punch works?

     No, but A2M does! 
102. 

     01.22.08 at 1:34 pm

     SuckMeBeautiful!

     So the Cunt Punch works?

     If you’re holding a hot iron it does.
103. 

     01.22.08 at 1:35 pm

     baedo

     i think the cunt punch was not really given a fair shake before being dismissed…
104. 

     01.22.08 at 1:37 pm

     Stone Soup

     i think the cunt punch was not really given a fair shake before being dismissed…

     I agree.  It was right there in the recipe –

     Mix ingredients in a large container, shake well…  

     Dummies. 
105. 

     01.22.08 at 1:39 pm

     baedo

     the word ‘cunt’ always reminds me of an old boss who began an actual phone conversation to a consultant engineer with, ‘Sweet cunt-sucking Christ! i’m getting conflicting information…’ you could hear a pin drop in the office for about 5 seconds before the laughter began…
106. 

     01.22.08 at 1:40 pm

     Fek'lhr

     Mix ingredients in a large container, DIRT PIPE MILKshake well… 

     FIXED! QAPLAH! 
107. 

     01.22.08 at 1:40 pm

     Nominus

     Fek’lhr, you didn’t make a funny. What you said was true, urine is sterile. It’s not a joke because it’s true. Or so Jack says.
108. 

     01.22.08 at 1:41 pm

     baedo

     ‘fact truth is funnier stranger than fiction’?
109. 

     01.22.08 at 1:42 pm

     catch me

     Hey, remember Sliders?  Now there was a show.

     I always called it Slippers just to piss my wife off.

     My first wife, that is.
110. 

     01.22.08 at 1:43 pm

     baedo

     i musta missed sliders.  was it any good?
111. 

     01.22.08 at 1:45 pm

     Eibmoz

     Yes, it was a show about white castle hamburgers mmmmmmmmmmm……..
112. 

     01.22.08 at 1:46 pm

     Nominus

     In the movies not telling the truth thread, I said this:

     -Just now, my TV was on PBS, and it said "And now, we present you, with one full hour of Coldplay!". It just happened, kid you not.-

      

     Jack says it shouldn’t be nominated because it really happened. He says if it really happened, it’s not a joke. I think Jack is forgetting that it’s "comments of the week" not "jokes of the week". 
113. 

     01.22.08 at 1:46 pm

     Jacktion!

     Nom, announcing that Coldplay is on PBS does not constitute a joke. I’m sorry.
114. 

     01.22.08 at 1:47 pm

     jokerswild

     Sliders was the worst show in history that was not Andromeda.

     Begin flame war? 
115. 

     01.22.08 at 1:47 pm

     Jacktion!

     Not shouldn’t be nominated, wasn’t nominated.
116. 

     01.22.08 at 1:47 pm

     Fek'lhr

     Lingerie Pillow Fight to reconcile differences!
117. 

     01.22.08 at 1:48 pm

     baedo

     thanks, eib.  how’s that zombie ass?
118. 

     01.22.08 at 1:49 pm

     St. Anky's for breakfast

     It may not constitute a joke, but I would argue an hour of coldplay on pbs does constitute the end of my desire to live.
119. 

     01.22.08 at 1:49 pm

     jokerswild

     Hey, 3 posts up Over There with a grand total of 150 comments. Is it bring a retard to work day or something?
120. 

     01.22.08 at 1:49 pm

     chodin

     *chodin runs up, still trying to velcro one of his shinguards*

     hey guys!? what’s up???
121. 

     01.22.08 at 1:50 pm

     jokerswild

     Dude, you got your shinguards on the wrong legs.

      

     Dumbass. 
122. 

     01.22.08 at 1:50 pm

     baedo

     chode, we need you in @ left fullback.  and give nom some help if they attack the goal from that side…
123. 

     01.22.08 at 1:51 pm

     St. Anky's for breakfast

     And who wears shinguards to a backyard game of badminton?
124. 

     01.22.08 at 1:52 pm

     Nominus

     I didn’t think it constituted a joke, but it was funny as fuck. It was a good comment.

      

     Not shouldn’t be nominated, wasn’t nominated.

     Boosh? Thats what I would say, but I was gonna put wasn’t in there, but didn’t because that would have been me implying that it was nomination worthy, and that is not for me to decide. Now, whether it should have been excluded from contention, is something for me to decide. Other things for me to decide include any random person’s sexual orientation, and whether or not the ending of No Country for Old Men was over your head. 
125. 

     01.22.08 at 1:52 pm

     chodin

     *chodin glances down. piss begins to run down his shorts, across his knees, and into his incorrect-ly attached shinguards*
126. 

     01.22.08 at 1:52 pm

     Stone Soup

     I despise Coldplay.  I may not have mentioned that before.
127. 

     01.22.08 at 1:53 pm

     Jacktion!

     Nom, I’ve said plenty of lines that I thought were funny, that weren’t nominated. Instead other lines that I’ve said that I didn’t think were all that funny were nominated. It doesn’t matter what you or I think when we come up with them, it’s what other people think of them. I’m sorry, but the tribal council has spoken.
128. 

     01.22.08 at 1:53 pm

     Pauly Dangerously

     No CuntPunch for Old Men.
129. 

     01.22.08 at 1:54 pm

     Nominus

     NO it hasn’t. You spokened.
130. 

     01.22.08 at 1:54 pm

     Nominus

     StoneSoup, read that PBS coldplay comment, and tell us if it was good. Please.
131. 

     01.22.08 at 1:55 pm

     Fek'lhr

     Jesus Christ, girls! We ALL say funny shit that either doesn’t get nommed and/or picked. HAHDEN THE FAWK AHP!
132. 

     01.22.08 at 1:55 pm

     Nominus

     This isn’t about that fek. This is about both me and Jacks! unwavering ability to admit we are wrong.
133. 

     01.22.08 at 1:56 pm

     Nominus

     To NOT admit. Christ.
134. 

     01.22.08 at 1:56 pm

     Jacktion!

     Nom, did it get nominated? Then there’s your answer.
135. 

     01.22.08 at 1:57 pm

     Pauly Dangerously

     I quit trying to get nomminated as of yesterday. I just say what comes to mind. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go give this hooker a labia tug to see if she’s still alive.
136. 

     01.22.08 at 1:58 pm

     Jacktion!

     I thought my line about cunt punch sounding like a drink served at a lesbian party was really good. Nobody nominated it. Oh well. Life goes on. I’ll hopefully find something new and funny to say.
137. 

     01.22.08 at 1:59 pm

     Nominus

     It didn’t get nominated Jack. Which I blamed on bad timing and the fact it was entered on page 13 of a thread with around 900 comments. What I was saying was that chances were, where it was posted and when, a much smaller percentage of people read it than an average comment would have. And there inlies the debate.

     Inlies. I don’t think thats a word. 
138. 

     01.22.08 at 2:00 pm

     Pauly Dangerously

     Cunt Punch is what was served at the Jonestown mass murder-suicide.
139. 

     01.22.08 at 2:00 pm

     Fek'lhr

     YOU TWO! Quit fighting about CotW or I will shave your pubes and make you go outside in the snow to defecate naked!
140. 

     01.22.08 at 2:02 pm

     St. Anky's for breakfast

     You would be correct, Nom, if you obeyed traditional rules of English. foRTunateLy fro you, I shOOSe noT tTO cnoForM..<.>.
141. 

     01.22.08 at 2:02 pm

     jokerswild

     I’d kill to go out in the snow rt now. It’s almost 70 down here in the Big Sleazy.
142. 

     01.22.08 at 2:02 pm

     Jacktion!

     Therein lies the debate.

     Look I got nominated (and won) for something that was on page 30 of a thread last week. Just move on. You’re funny, bu that wasn’t your best work. It’s okay to not win sometimes.
143. 

     01.22.08 at 2:03 pm

     baedo

     cunt punch might be a name for a snazzy female piercing…(?)
144. 

     01.22.08 at 2:03 pm

     Nominus

     Fek, my pubes are already shaved. Seriously. The wife enoys sucking me more when theres no hair fucking it up. Also, i think she’s a paedophile.
145. 

     01.22.08 at 2:04 pm

     baedo

     i enoy a nice shave myself, nom.
146. 

     01.22.08 at 2:04 pm

     baedo

     i also enoy bird rape when child rape doesn’t satisfy…
147. 

     01.22.08 at 2:05 pm

     Nominus

     hey bne:  o

     there is the missing o from your name. 
148. 

     01.22.08 at 2:05 pm

     Pauly Dangerously

     Nom

     Plus, if you "scortch the Earth" it makes the "trees" look "taller".
149. 

     01.22.08 at 2:06 pm

     Fek'lhr

     *swerves car back and forth in the road to swat at Jack and Nom in the back seat*

     VROOOOOOOOOOTTTT! VOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRR!

     God dammit! You kids shut up back there! 
150. 

     01.22.08 at 2:06 pm

     jokerswild

     Fek, my pubes are already shaved. Seriously. The wife enoys sucking me more when theres no hair fucking it up. Also, i think she’s a paedophile.

      

     Ummm, Nom. That whole you and me seperated @ birth thing. You are not helping to destroy that myth.
151. 

     01.22.08 at 2:06 pm

     Stone Soup

     StoneSoup, read that PBS coldplay comment, and tell us if it was good. Please.

     Yeah.  Here’s a job that I want…

     Well, I don’t remember the context, which is most likely why I don’t get it.  If it’s funny as a stand alone comment, I’m clearly missing something.  It’s funny to me because I’m constantly ragging on those douchebags.

     My criteria for nominating a comment:

     1. It has to really make me laugh
     2. It has to be fairly well written
     3. It has to be funny with very little context or inside information
     4. I have to believe it has a good chance of making Lance’s cut.  

     Absent from that list is any reliance on truth. 

     Jesus, I’m in a fucking unfunny mood today. 
152. 

     01.22.08 at 2:06 pm

     baedo

     bone-pro?

     yeah,  holmes, i can dig it. 
153. 

     01.22.08 at 2:07 pm

     Nominus

     The problem with shaving down there is, I don’t know where to stop under my sack. I did figure out to not go too far. It feels weird with no asshair.
154. 

     01.22.08 at 2:08 pm

     Pauly Dangerously

     I’m not a hairy person so your wife can appreciate that.
155. 

     01.22.08 at 2:08 pm

     baedo

     i like the old ‘snort-th-lighter-when-it’s-coke-night’ purge.  it’s too bad you wind up really catching on fire when you try to ‘scorch the earth’ ‘down there’.
156. 

     01.22.08 at 2:09 pm

     jokerswild

     Here’s a hint.

     DO NOT EVER SHAVE BETWEEN THE CHEEKS!    

     It’s not so much the lack of hair as the agony when it decides to grow back in. 
157. 

     01.22.08 at 2:09 pm

     baedo

     i’ve been told to get a nice set of nose-hair clippers, but what can i do?  i’m a pyro.
158. 

     01.22.08 at 2:09 pm

     Jacktion!

     bne, I think he was going for bne_proo.
159. 

     01.22.08 at 2:10 pm

     Nominus

     No, stone, it was a stand alone comment. I was sitting on the bed, going through some things, and it came on the TV and said that all prestigious like. I immediately laughed, and ran to my computer to tell you guys.
160. 

     01.22.08 at 2:11 pm

     Fek'lhr

     OBSESS MUCH?
161. 

     01.22.08 at 2:11 pm

     baedo

     i was thinking maybe ‘bne_poro’ like some new italian…something or maybe portugese…
162. 

     01.22.08 at 2:11 pm

     Pauly Dangerously

     Second day anus stubble is the pits.
163. 

     01.22.08 at 2:11 pm

     baedo

     be nice, mighty one.  nom just wanted to share…awwww.
164. 

     01.22.08 at 2:12 pm

     Jacktion!

     NEXT WEEK ON CKT INSECURITIES:

     Koru: There are people in my computer who are talking to me. People shouldn’t be that small!
165. 

     01.22.08 at 2:12 pm

     jokerswild

     C’mon guys, get real. Clearly he meant bne-opro. That makes tons more sense than your moronic ramblings.
166. 

     01.22.08 at 2:12 pm

     baedo

     i’m supposed to be replying to a city engineer’s plan review of a nursing home and i don’t feel like telling him how to read a set of fucking CDs.  it’s all right there, dude, just look in the right place…
167. 

     01.22.08 at 2:13 pm

     Nominus

     be nice, mighty one.  nom just wanted to share…awwww.

      

     Awwwww, shucks guys *blushes* 
168. 

     01.22.08 at 2:13 pm

     Pauly Dangerously

     CD’s Nutz
169. 

     01.22.08 at 2:14 pm

     chodin

     guys, i think my apartment is haunted…no i don’t. i’m full of shit.
170. 

     01.22.08 at 2:14 pm

     Nominus

     Are you an uncivil engineer, obne_pro?
171. 

     01.22.08 at 2:15 pm

     baedo

     erswi:  by jove, i think you’ve got it!  like ‘o-g’=old gangster.  ‘o pro’=dried up old slunk meat prostitute slingin’ hash down at some shithouse and fuckin’ her boss’

     yeah, holmes, i can dig it. 
172. 

     01.22.08 at 2:15 pm

     Stone Soup

     Oh.  I see, Nom.  Well, you know – hey, what’s that over there?  Look!  Cake!  THERE’S CAKE EVERYONE!

      

     **runs away from the computer** 
173. 

     01.22.08 at 2:15 pm

     Jacktion!

     CONFESSIONS OF FILMDRUNKARDS:

     Stone Soup: "My name is Glen, and I hate myself."
174. 

     01.22.08 at 2:15 pm

     baedo

     ‘hello, glen.’
175. 

     01.22.08 at 2:16 pm

     jokerswild

     Cake? Where’s the cake?
176. 

     01.22.08 at 2:16 pm

     Nominus

     CD’s Nutz

     Pauly, after my CD case was stolen from my car, when I got a new one I wrote "CD’s NUTS" on the spine of it for anyone who stole it. It was stolen about a year later. I hope it blew his mind. 
177. 

     01.22.08 at 2:16 pm

     chodin

     did anyone else watch “bring it on” one, two and three…all in a row…all on ABC family?
178. 

     01.22.08 at 2:17 pm

     baedo

     no, nom, (i thought we’d covered this?) i’m attempting to be an architect, but 12 years is a long damn time to keep saying, ‘no, i’m PLANning on taking the test…but’…
179. 

     01.22.08 at 2:17 pm

     Pauly Dangerously

     I stole it
180. 

     01.22.08 at 2:17 pm

     Pauly Dangerously

     And seriously Nom, Tatu?
181. 

     01.22.08 at 2:18 pm

     baedo

     chodders: i watched the first one, but the second was too horrible to bear.  the first one cracks me up, though.
182. 

     01.22.08 at 2:19 pm

     Pauly Dangerously

     Bring it on? I could’a fucking swore it had already been brought.
183. 

     01.22.08 at 2:19 pm

     Nominus

     Wrong case Pauly. That was my wifes. And one other thing, asshole, I LEFT THE DOOR UNLOCKED SO YOU WOULDN’T BREAK THE WINDOW. you didn’t have to do that. Next time, check to see if the door is unlocked first.
184. 

     01.22.08 at 2:19 pm

     John Wayne in a Devo Hat

     I got a call on the red phone and got here as soon as I could. Stop fighting over COTW immediately. If this continues, my mom Lance will take it away forever, and if that happens, then the terrorists have won. Is that what you want? Well, is it, mister?
185. 

     01.22.08 at 2:20 pm

     Stone Soup

     i’m supposed to be replying to a city engineer’s plan review of a nursing home and i don’t feel like telling him how to read a set of fucking CDs.  it’s all right there, dude, just look in the right place…

     Jesus, preach on, brotha.  Here’s how I handle that:

     To whom it may concern (= I know your fucking name, but I’d rather treat you like you treat me)

     Per your review, the above referenced project shall be clarfied as follows: 

     1. Inusulation shall be provided as referenced in note 25 on sheet A3
     2. Rafter sizes shall be as specified in title block note on sheet A5
     3. Plumbing risers can be found on the right side of sheet A6 
     4. Code compliance shall be as specified in the General Notes on sheet A3.
186. 

     01.22.08 at 2:20 pm

     Jacktion!

     CONFESSIONS OF FILMDRUNKARDS:

     John Wayne in a Devo Hat: "I only wear a Devo Hat because someone wrote ‘fag’ on all my cowboy hats."
187. 

     01.22.08 at 2:21 pm

     chodin

     duke: nice to see you…did you change your pubic hair?
188. 

     01.22.08 at 2:21 pm

     Pauly Dangerously

     Nominus, the window was like that when I got there.
189. 

     01.22.08 at 2:22 pm

     John Wayne in a Devo Hat

     Actually, the cowboy hats were scaring off all the black chicks, and The Dukester loves his Hot Chocolate.
190. 

     01.22.08 at 2:23 pm

     Jacktion!

     CONFESSIONS OF FILMDRUNKARDS:

     bne_pro: "I don’t know what it means, either."
191. 

     01.22.08 at 2:23 pm

     Stone Soup

     no, nom, (i thought we’d covered this?) i’m attempting to be an architect, but 12 years is a long damn time to keep saying, ‘no, i’m PLANning on taking the test…but’…

     Yeah, um, me too.  Except I’m rapidly approaching 13 years.  I have 2 tests done (about 8 years ago), and virtually no intention of completing the rest.

      
192. 

     01.22.08 at 2:23 pm

     John Wayne in a Devo Hat

     Why yes, Chodin, I did. I did change my pubic hair. You are like a gay Kreskin or something.
193. 

     01.22.08 at 2:24 pm

     Jacktion!

     CONFESSIONS OF FILMDRUNKARDS:

     Eibmoz: "I’m dyslexic."
194. 

     01.22.08 at 2:24 pm

     chodin

     oh stop, you little “windowlicker” you…you’re making my balls turn red.
195. 

     01.22.08 at 2:25 pm

     baedo

     absolutely, SS.  i’m going through all of the other i’ve already done for other projects to see if i can’t cut-and-paste responses, but i’ve never gotten a review from this guy, so he’s not calling us on the usual shit.  so i’m going to have to actally WRITE one from scratch…fuckin’ bullshit.  but i will definitely be using the phrase ‘as indicated on drawing x/AD-X (ie:if you’d have looked at the fucking set i would be wasting my time, you asshole) the fire-door automatic closing mechanism shall be (crammed up your ass)…’
196. 

     01.22.08 at 2:26 pm

     chodin

     um…hey dudes?

     …what the fuck are we all talking about today? i fell out of the cab of the truck about 26 miles back.
197. 

     01.22.08 at 2:26 pm

     Nominus

     I’m not fighting over CotW. I’m engaging in an unwinnable debate with Jack! about his claim from yesterday that it didn’t qualify to be nominated(funny or not) based on the fact that it actually happened. I just get a kick out of jack, and his debate style, that is all. Consider the subject dropped…..now.
198. 

     01.22.08 at 2:26 pm

     Pauly Dangerously

     CotW is tearing us apart! What happen to the BTK days?
199. 

     01.22.08 at 2:28 pm

     Pauly Dangerously

     Chodin, that is no laughing matter. I jumped out of my friend’s Titan while he was doing 40 for no reason. Unless drunk is a reason.
200. 

     01.22.08 at 2:28 pm

     baedo

     absolutely, son.  you see people!?  when the truth is spake from the mouths of babes how can we argue?  pauly has told us ‘the way’…we need more BTK.
201. 

     01.22.08 at 2:28 pm

     John Wayne in a Devo Hat

     That’s it, buster. You all just earned yourselves a time out!
202. 

     01.22.08 at 2:29 pm

     Jacktion!

     CONFESSIONS OF FILMDRUNKARDS:

     chodin: "Uh, yeah… I’m actually straight."
203. 

     01.22.08 at 2:30 pm

     John Wayne in a Devo Hat

     Who said that-who said "fist"? You are grounded!
204. 

     01.22.08 at 2:30 pm

     Pauly Dangerously

     Thanks boner-pro. I just want it like the old days. The BTK days. The JWiaDH let us Cunt Punch him days.
205. 

     01.22.08 at 2:31 pm

     Nominus

     CONFESSIONS OF FILMDRUNKARDS:

     nominus: "I enjoyed Transformers during the first viewing." 
206. 

     01.22.08 at 2:31 pm

     Stone Soup

     I’m actually working on a revision right now that should be a big piece of paper that says "Why the fuck won’t you just build what I drew?"
207. 

     01.22.08 at 2:31 pm

     Jacktion!

     CONFESSIONS OF FILMDRUNKARDS:

     Fek’lhr: "I’m not a Klingon, and I don’t have a fifi."
208. 

     01.22.08 at 2:32 pm

     baedo

     this time it’s blood for blood and by the gallons…

     i hear ya, i’m kapice-in’ ya. 
209. 

     01.22.08 at 2:32 pm

     Watanabex

     so, ah, did i miss anything?
210. 

     01.22.08 at 2:33 pm

     baedo

     SS: "Why the fuck won’t you just build what I drew?"

     can i get an ‘amen’? 
211. 

     01.22.08 at 2:33 pm

     Jacktion!

     CONFESSIONS OF FILMDRUNKARDS:

     Jacktion!: "I kinda like Coldplay. I saw them in concert. Rilo Kiley opened up. It was a good show"
212. 

     01.22.08 at 2:34 pm

     Pauly Dangerously

     SS

     Did you draw an triangle on a square with swirly smoke?
213. 

     01.22.08 at 2:34 pm

     Stone Soup

     Amen.

      

     Oh, and:

     Confessions of FilmDrunkard: Stone Soup – I’m probably going to see Cloverated tonight. 
214. 

     01.22.08 at 2:35 pm

     Nominus

     bne_pro: I love every bit of dialogue from Sin City. It was awesome.

      

     I’m actually working on a revision right now that should be a big piece of paper that says "Why the fuck won’t you just build what I drew?"

     Did I mention earlier that I’m currently working on fucking revision W. Goddamn them. Welders always want you to change shit, little things, little things that are big problems when it comes to keeping the assembly prints updated and dimensions intact. 
215. 

     01.22.08 at 2:37 pm

     Nominus

     Amen.
216. 

     01.22.08 at 2:39 pm

     Stone Soup

     Bne – just a triangle with the revision number, and the obligatory cloud that says "Look here you stupid mother fucker – something changed right HERE."
217. 

     01.22.08 at 2:41 pm

     JHC

     Confessions of FilmDrunkard-

     JHC:  Actually likes Will Smiff movies.

      

     :: bends over and awaits ass reaming whoopins’ :: 
218. 

     01.22.08 at 2:42 pm

     Eibmoz

     dyslexic? I hate you Jacktion! D2M
219. 

     01.22.08 at 2:43 pm

     Watanabex

     Confessions of FilmDrunkard-

     Watanabex: I cried like a little bitch while watching Bridge to Tarabithia 
220. 

     01.22.08 at 2:44 pm

     Eibmoz

     Ok, Bex, that movie was damn sad
221. 

     01.22.08 at 2:44 pm

     St. Anky's for breakfast

     dyslexic? I hate you Jacktion! D2M M2D

      

     Fixed!
222. 

     01.22.08 at 2:46 pm

     John Wayne in a Devo Hat

     CONFESSIONS OF FILM DRUNKARDS

     Pauly Dangerously:  "Sometimes I’m afraid that my black boyfriend makes my ass look fat"
223. 

     01.22.08 at 2:46 pm

     Al

     Can we carry on the squabbling in the new post?  I haven’t decided if I agree with Jack! or Nom yet. 
224. 

     01.22.08 at 2:47 pm

     Stinky Peet

     Confessions of a FilmDrunkard:

     Stinky Peet:  Most of the time I have no fucking idea what you all are talking about.
225. 

     01.22.08 at 2:47 pm

     Jacktion!

     NEW UP YAGGLEBAGGLES!
226. 

     01.22.08 at 2:48 pm

     Nominus

     Ok, Bex, that movie was damn sad

     I really hate you right now. I read the book. THe book was sad, the movie was a kidnapping and whoring out of the book. It’s not about wizards an fairies and shit. But, yeah, my kid and my wife cried too. I’d still rather have you and your "no need to ask" beej’s. 
227. 

     01.22.08 at 3:06 pm

     Eibmoz

     well, nom, it wasnt the fairies that where sad. and , my husband just came home, gotta go, no need to ask
228. 

     01.22.08 at 4:26 pm

     Android

     I have been waiting for somebody to do this since the day I was born.
229. 

     01.22.08 at 5:53 pm

     bonniekay

     Hmmm, i thought it was kinda funny. He’s hot enough!
230. 

     01.22.08 at 5:54 pm

     bonniekay

     Stinky Peet, 14:47, i have made that exact same comment here!

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