ELLEN PAGE TO COMMIT CAREER SUICIDE?
01.14.08
Ellen Page, star of Juno (which recently passed Sideways as Fox Searchlight’s highest grossing movie ever, and has also already outearned Little Miss Sunshine) may star in Drew Barrymore’s directorial debut.
Whip It is Drew Barrymore’s forthcoming directorial debut, due to start production in March. It’s a coming-of-age tale about a girl who finds her identity through the power of roller derby, based on Shauna Cross’ novel, Derby Girl.
Cross tells FilmSchoolRejects “rumor is the lead could be played by an actress whose name rhymes with Shmellen shmage”, though personally I hope she’s not that schmucking schmumb. She’d have to be a shmodshmamned shmetard to be in this shmiece of shmit.
Jesus, Drew Barrymore has to be near the top of my “How is s/he still working list?” Aside from being a horrible actress who rotted one of Tom Green’s nuts off with her succubus venom, she has an annoying speech impediment that makes it sound like she’s constantly leaking air. You’re rich as hell – hire a goddamned speech coach. Don’t they have rehab for former child actors who can’t talk? I know some asshole casting director thought your inability to communicate was cute once upon a time, but you’re an adult now, and much like skinny dipping in the city pool, some stuff doesn’t fly anymore.
Guh, speech impediments creep me out more than midgets and harelips combined. Honestly, people who are less than perfect should just be rounded up and sent to camps. I wonder why no one’s thought of it before.
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Shmellen Shmage? The Mighty Fek’lhr loved her work in Shmenna Shmameson’s Shinvansion shof she Shooty Shnatchers.
‘put the boxing gloves down, ma’am!’
Dr. Mangina? Paging Dr. Mangina? We are getting what we can only describe as "mangled limbs of children" thrown at us by the deranged psychiatric patient holding the top floor hostage. His demands go as follows, "The Mighty One will keep tearing apart these screaming fucking kids until CotW are posted! THEIR BLOOD IS ON HIS…I MEAN YOUR HANDS!…WITH BLOOD!"
Thanks for the feelings on the speech impediment because seriously I think those people should be made to wear a special patch on their clothes then rounded up and placed into camps where they have to work for hours a day and not get any food.
no…thats what i think about the Mexicans…I just think we should kill the lisp-ers
Just because you’ve been in moving pictures directed by god amongst directors McG, you think you are qualified to direct a movie? No. Just don’t. You will ruin too many careers and lives in the process.
Meh, Ellen Page won’t even have a career in five years. Let her fuck it up now. She’s annoying and I want her to go away as soon as possible and this will only speed up the prosess.
Nominus, you forgot . . . WITH BLOOD!
PROCESS* Fuck now I look like an idiot. You need an EDIT button on this thing.
Lets just hope that ellen page has more up her sleeve than channeling Janeane Garofalo.
watch out Bea: soon there will be an ADA mandate that people with speech impediments qualify as
‘handicapable’‘handicapped’ and will take my parking space everywhere. even more than they do now.‘you don’t even HAVE to walk motherfucker! you have that go-cart thingy to take you everywhere, why the FUCK do you need to park right @ the front door!’
Black guy’s head is huge compared to his body. He must have the downs syndrome.
Be sure to read His "Aslan" story in the "Coke Dealer" thread. :D
I want Foxy Boxing.
Well played, Maynard. Well played first post. You’re lucky you have Maynard in your handle.
About the banner pic: No and No. But maybe to the gloves.
I don’t have a lot to put in to today but I would fuck Drew Barrymore. Just thought I’d put it out there
sorry, get rid of the "to" today.
It’ll make more sense that way.
BNE- you’re right.
Here’s what I think. Kill all the actors/actresses who think they can direct just because they’ve been in movies.
Also: create a special "obesity" license plate/parking spaces. And put the parking spaces far away from the store and they HAVE TO park there. This way they A- Lose weight by walking and B- are motivated to lose weight because they have the "i’m a fatso" license plate.
I don’t know where that came from, but Its Monday morning and I haven’t rubbed one out yet.
The Mighty Fek’lhr’s morbidly obese political activist group would have to do a sit in on those license plates. "Hell no, we won’t go!"
when drew was in playboy (early 90s) my BFF thought he was going to have a heart attack ’cause he was super hot for her. i didn’t see much that turned me on about the ‘spread’, honestly…then, about 10 years later, that same BFF turned into a WTFAYFC (what the fuck, are you fucking CRAZY!) and we have probably only talked once in the last year and a half.
That chant would actually be more like "Hell no, we won’t . . . oooh mashed taters and gravy with southern fried chicken."
i think that i my brother should have a handicapped license plate. not because i chopped his leg off when i was 14, but because that motherfucker is goddam wacko! do they make those for mentally handicapped people?
The Mighty Fek’lhr, would, of course, cater these sit ins. Think of the money He could make with hundreds of fatsos sitting around just being fat! Cha ching!
Actually, Bea, I think that is a brilliant idea. This must be set into motion immediately. Who amongst us has the best chance to be elected into the government immediately, and can get Bea’s vision through the beaurocracy?
Nom-do not anger the fat and hungry masses.
I prefer my fried chicken steak fried.
FeK, should stand, he’s already got a large percent of the vote locked down, We just have to convince the trekkies to stop watching Star trek and get voting, may tell them there’s a convention on. It’ll work I tell ya.
be*
I can’t type today.
this also beats out my other plan–tie the obease to the front of cars and use them like dogs to a sled. This would not only cut down on gas consumption but also get them into shape AND i’d laugh
EVERYTHING FRIED!
including my brain!
‘this is your brain on drugs with bacon and two eggs. any questions?’
‘do y’all have ketchup?’
Fek: Think about it. A bunch of people, with low self esteem, now would have hot bodies. The opportunities are endless. Plus, we could plaster banner-ads on the backs of these people.
YES! We should totally put all the fat SLUUUTTTSSS in this program. Then they’d totally let me finger bang them in the back of my Dad’s Toyota
I’ll be deep in the cold, cold ground before I recognize anything directed by a woman who dated Tom Green.
Bea & Pauly: Now you guys are gettin’ it!
The Mighty Fek’lhr did not want to do this, but He must! He plans an all out strike against this fat-person exploitation movement, and He will use the Morbidly Obese Paratrooper Brigade to attack!
Basically the idea is to drop in a bunch of morbidly obese paratroopers, but what He doesn’t tell them is that the parachute is empty! WHA HA HA! SPLAT!!!! All over your asses! WITH BLOOD!
its a slow day/ nobody’s here because of snow. I think I’m leaving at 2, so I need to get my posts in early.
Diabetes lives another day
i know a guy who just had a bunch of bypass surgery. he doesn’t wear a t-shirt under his button-downs and you can see the top of his scar where they split his fucking sternum for the operation…that was a big wake-up call for me. it’s like someone inserted a fucking pencil just under the skin below his supersternal notch (that’s where your collar bones come together) and it’s all angry and red. just thought i’d share.
Photographer: OK man, act like you like white women.
Did you guys ever see that video where they tried to blow that dead whale back into the ocean with dynamite? Morbidly Obese Paratrooper Brigade=that!
Well, now I know why I am so fucked up.
I never found my identiy through the power of a roller derby.
God knows skating around an oval and beating the shit out of anybody in my way. Actually, damn, I should have gotten into that. Maybe I wouldn’t be such an angry young woman.
That is one of the least sexiest photos I have ever seen. Thanks a lot, Lance.
sweet. I saw many sexy girls at interracialconnect.com. As you know it becomes the outstanding interracial dating site recently . Thousands of new members FREE to join daily to meet dream date there!!!!
"Honestly, people who are less than perfect should just be rounded up and sent to camps. I wonder why no one’s thought of it before. "
Do you think this is a funny comment? You’re opinions are nothing but personal attacks. Have you acted or directed in a film before? What have you created besides petty remarks at others expense? If you could critique your self would you be this cruel?
Do you think this is a funny comment? YES! FUCK YOU!
You’re opinions are nothing but personal attacks. WHATS YOUR FUCKING POINT?
Have you acted or directed in a film before? ONLY THE PORNO I MADE WITH YOUR FUCKING FAT ASS GRANDMA!
What have you created besides petty remarks at others expense? ABOUT 20 FUCKING GALLONS OF FUCKING MAN GRAVY!
If you could critique your self would you be this cruel? NO, OF COURSE NOT YOU STUPID FUCKING BITCH!
I FUCKING SINCERELY HOPE THIS FUCKING HELPS YOU FUCKTARD!
Damn Kenny. I was coming over here to give that bitch her what for, but it looks like you beat me to the punch . . . and the kick . . . and the eye gouge . . . and the rear naked choke.