‘CLOVERFIELD’ PULLS OFF MLK MIRACLE
01.21.08
Despite hardly being marketed at all, Cloverfield was the come from behind surprise of the weekend, grossing an estimated $41 million in its debut and breaking the record for a January opening.
Incredibly, the surefire blockbusting Katherine Heigl juggernaut 27 Dresses only managed a distant second, with $22.4 million.
Mad Money (Who came up with that title? Genius!), with Diane Keaton, Queen Latifah and Xenu’s warrior princess Katie Holmes was the only other new film in wide release, and it opened in seventh with $7.7 million.
Man! With this kind of competition for the 18-34 male demographic, it’s a wonder anyone saw Cloverfield at all! I mean, Diane Keaton, Queen Latifah, and Katie Holmes in the same movie?! I wouldn’t even be so bold as to wish for it, and yet, lo… someone up there likes me! I can’t think of anything more exciting, except maybe Katherine Heigl going to a bunch of weddings – another bridesmaid’s dress?! She just can’t catch a break, LOL! Perhaps she’ll find love with a formerly platonic male friend… !!! It’s a miracle !!! My stuffed animals are going to hear about this for sure – it’s mutha f%ckin’ tea time, foo!
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Is it a wonder I hid inside all "weekend". Between these "films" and the apocalyptic temperature "outside" I may "turn" into a "hermit". "Sheesh".
True story: Saturday night my brother visited and he was saying how this co-worker of his was trying to hype Cloverfield to him, "It’s gonna be so bad ass! It will be the biggest movie EVER! It’s like Godzilla meets Blair Witch! YEAH!!!!!!!"
One dragon punch and a urinated upon body later, my brother told a bound and gagged little douchebag how Commando was the only movie he watched…and the only way he dresses.
I thought about going to Cloverfield, but I watched my twin boys fill their diapers instead. Sure enough, one of them finally took a shit that was far scarier than anything J.J. Abrams ever dreamed up.
Lance, I wish you had photoshopped the Statue of Liberty head flying with booster rockets in the empty space to the left. I don’t know why, but it’s a startling image for me.
Does it make His story any better to know that His brother works for Geek Squad?
BONG!!!!!!!!!
Does he get to drive one of those bitchin’ VW Beetles painted like a police cruiser?
No, the one they have for him is a little more like the Ecto I…
I suckerpunched a kid in the parking lot of the local cinema after i heard him describing the Cloverfield monster. then i stood over him and screamed "How’s that for a fucking spoiler?" before i spit in his face and left. i really didn’t care about the movie, i was just looking for an excuse to suckerpunch a kid.
No, the one they have for him is a little more like the Ecto I…
Don’t cross the
urinestreams.Don’t cross the
urinestreams.That’s funny you mentioned that, my brother and I used to have a game when we were little boys (like 16 or 17) where we would pee in the toilet at the same time and have "lightsaber duels" with the pee streams. We called it "playing lightsabers", and looking back on it, it’s pretty fucking gay.
Bruce Greenwood suckerpunched the Cloverfield monster unconscious, then stood on its lifeless neck and yelled, ‘I’m Bruce Greenwood! SAY IT!’ Then he manipulated the monster’s lips in such a way as to make it say, ‘brugreenwood’ . . . It wasn’t exactly like it, but it was pretty good for a space monster.
It just doesn’t have the same impact the second time, Panda…
There’s no caption.
"I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be subject to viral ads about mediocre films"
Happy A2MLK day everybody! Or, Happy MLBTK day if you prefer (chodin, fek, you know).
No, no…
Caption- "Shootin’ all the walls of heartache, BANG BANG! I am the warrior!"
^^^MLK was really ahead of his time on that one.
MLBTK Day? Guy’cha!
Caption – "It is not the color of a man’s skin, but the content of his BTK that determines his quality."
Told ya that one was for you Fek!
Disclosure: I have not seen Cloverfield nor do I have any idea how much money was spent making it.
Still though, I gotta think a 41 million dollar opening weekend is pretty good for a movie that wa shot entirely on cell phones.
I’m going back to bed. Have a good MLK morning.
While work wouldn’t let me have the day off for MLK day, even when i showed them the letter i have signed by Christopher 2X that i am marching in two parades later today, they did give me 2 coupons for 6 hot wings at KFC for $2.99.
BONG!!!! (Kurgan)
Are those hot wings any good, by any chance? i’m planning on a big lunch instead of marching now.
Fact: If you tell KFC you are homeless you can get a free leg, biscuit, and mashed taters.
Mornin,’ ya fuckfaces. Anybody actually see Cloverfield? I thought it was pretty fucking bitchin,’ myself.
BS, you are dead2me! Ya hear me? DEAD2ME!
BUBO!!!!!!!!!
Nice clockwork owl from Clash of the Titans, there. I was looking for a decent Talos pic from Jason and the Argonauts yesterday. Couldn’t find one. I was looking in Ikea though.
*woships bs’ avatar*
True story: My Geek Squad brother named one of his Pomeranians "Bubo". He eats shit. (the Pomeranian…verdicts out on my brother)
Awww, erswi, come back to me, baby! I swear I won’t hit you no mo!
Fek, your brother’s level of Awesomeness just keeps climbing with each anecdote.
You left me hanging out in VACATION HELL. But I can’t stay mad at you.
You dursters do know there’s a new post, right?
sorry about that, erwsi. I live in Vacation Hell full-time. I try to stay on the outskirts as much as possible.
Just saw Cloverfield. The marketing guy behind it is a genius! I’ve known about it for ages and have been dying to see it..Now that I have I can honestly say it’s one of the most disappointing movies I’ve ever seen,and I’ve seen a lot of ‘em. Could they have picked a more annoying guy to be working the camera the whole movie? Imagine that friend of a friend you bump into every so often, you know, the one that never shuts the hell up and you absolutely hate. Well give him a camera and have him chase his friends, while constantly throwing in stupid questions/comments and avoiding a monster for about an hour and that’s what this movie is. This very rarely happens, but I hated this movie so much it made me genuinely angry. I could write much more about why it sucked, but instead I think I’m just going to go pour bleach in my eyes in the hopes that I will never have to see a movie this crappy again.
Hey, we’re all friends here. Don’t hold back!
By the way, I thought Hud was hysterical.
It’s cool BS. Next time I’m out that way we’ll hang out in the civilized world far away from Vacation Hell. Similarly, should you find yourself in the 504 anytime soon, I DO NOT DO THE FRENCH QUARTER! Just sayin.
Perhaps I’m just bitter because I wrote the original script for Cloverfield…My version was just Megan Fox and I having sex in a field full of clovers while Ron Jeremy (dressed as a leprechaun) watches, but still, someone owes me a cut of that 40 mil!
erswi, I was just in New Orleans for the Sugar Bowl! Man, French Quarter’s a seething hole of humanity, ain’t it?
Not to brag, but I’m a real math whiz, and $41 million divided by an estimated average of $15.00 per ticket only comes to about 500 people who actually saw this stupid thing.
I saw Cloverfield yesterday and thought it kicked ass. If you saw it and didn’t like it, you are probably an emo kid…
Jaffo, is your full name Jaffo James Abrams?