Adam Sandler, who made me a man 15 years ago when he shouted, "MY NEIGHBOR’S DOG HAS A FOUR-INCH CLIT," has decided to rape the corpse of his credibility, light it on fire, and throw it down an open sewer.
Following Don’t Mess with the Zohan (this is gonna blow), he’ll be shooting Bedtime Stories with Adam Shankman, director of such classics as Bringing Down the House, Cheaper by the Dozen 2 (Cheaper by the Baker’s Dozen?), The Pacifier, and Hairspray.
The life of a busy architect takes a crazy turn when the bedtime stories he tells his niece and nephew start to come true.
Isn’t that what Lady in the Water was about? So basically it’s Lady in the Water from the director of Hairspray. Awesome, maybe for his next flick we can get the Meet the Spartans guys to do a remake of Glitter.
According to Forbes, Adam Sandler earned $30 million last year. Meanwhile, Frank Stallone got a DVD player for Christmas.
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Spang’lish
This movie should have a scene where Adam Sandler reads a story about his career being over.
The cruel irony of the gift was that none of Frank Stallone’s movies ever made it to DVD.
Maybe Tim Burton could do Annie?
What sucks is that, I could be locked in a room with Sandler for hours, doing nothing but telling him about how shitty his movies have been, how much of a joke he is now, and he wouldn’t even shed a tear. He still can have any bitch he wants, and makes more money in a year than I will in my whole life. That my friends, sucks.
Tim Burton can direct The Life of Raffi
I haven’t heard a frank stallone joke since Norm Macdonald on SNL.
Wasn’t Frank Stallone in"Fred Clause"? that means he got paid bitches!
"The life of a busy architect takes a crazy turn when the remote control he buys som-"
What amazes me is that Sandler could have easily given this "Zohan" role to Rob Schneider, but he didn’t. He should have. Also, I hate Rob Schneider.
"I looked at my asshole in the mirror today. It blew my fuckin’ mind!"
Butterbindle, back in the HEATH LEDGER IS DEAD thread I wrote:
Frank Stallone = Still Alive
phew
Although I guess it wasn’t a joke so much as a gut reaction.
When I found out Frank Stallone was Ed Baily in Tombstone……………….my dick flexed.
My apologies, Katie, you beat Lance to the punchline. Now here goes nothing…
Frank Stallone: Banking off his brother’s success since 1976
This is why I don’t write jokes
I always thought that Frank Stallone was just Sly being honest.
I’d like to the The Luchador for not being here to make that joke before me.
Now that’s funny, Jacktion.
Yes. Kudo’s, jack. Granola. Penis.
Did I durst the thread with a funny joke for a change?
Wasn’t Frank Stallone in"Fred Clause"? that means he got paid bitches!
Yes he was Kurg, and he played himself, but he almost lost the part to Shia LeBeouf.
"Now that’s funny, Jacktion."
Thank you, Katie Mamlok, for implying that nothing else I’ve ever said was funny.
::Jacktion does a Rob Schneider impression::
Durst…
The Durstinator…
El Dursto…
Durstacular…
Durst…
Maybe something horrible will happen to Sandler and then everything will have worked out in the end.
"….I was born in 1986"
Durstenheimer
I can’t wait for Strange Wilderness.
"Oh look… a falling star…"
Captain Jacktion of the SS Jazz Hands…
Senorita Jacktionita..
you and me both burnsy
I’m gonna go stand in line for it right now.
that part in the previews with that buck toothed shark and the voice over kills me every time.
fuckin hilarious
DOR SHO GA!
Look at me, I’m a Vulcan!
::Jacktion sits back and waits for it to start::
Fine! Fuck you, then!
I’m gonna make my grocery shopping list.
^Connect Four! I win!^
Jack!s shopping list
what did you win? the title of King of the Dorks?
My son auditioned for this movie, so if he gets the part then you fucksticks don’t get to bad mouth the movie or him or I will murder your entire fucking families.
If he doesn’t get the part then I will murder Adam Sandler’s family.
ATTENTION HOLLYWOOD LAWYERS – killing Adam Sandler’s family was just a joke, I’d only kill Adam.
Adam Sandler is shit. He should take a break.
What amazes me is that Sandler could have easily given this "Zohan" role to Rob Schneider, but he didn’t. He should have. Also, I hate Rob Schneider.
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WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT? COPYING MY LINES THEN USING IT TO SPAM? LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!