UPDATE: I apologize for the suckitude of whatever was causing the video not to load. Watch it here. (I’ve also included the YouTube version after the jump)
Here’s the teaser for Will Smith’s next movie, Hancock. Though teaser is a bit of a misnomer, since to be teased, you actually have to desire something.
It’s about a drunk superhero. It squirts into theatres 7-2-08.
I’d bash it, especially considering how much it reminds me of My Super Ex-Girlfriend, but what’s the point? They could release Will Smith Watches Antiques Roadshow and Has a Handi-Snack and it would still make eleventy hundred gajillion dollars.
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HAAAYYYYYLLLE NAW!!!
Do not want.
Lance, this video’s all retarded, and you talk like a fag.
Coming this summer!
You saw him battle aliens in Independence Day.
You saw him survive the disease that wiped out earth in I am Legend.
Coming 6-14-08, it’s FLAG DAY!
(Action sequence montage explosion dialogue "I hadda nuffa yo shit!" "damn" running jumping fist pumping high fiving airpunching jump off a dock into water between bullets)
"The Holiday is fake, but the action is real"
DAY OF FLAG IT IS
eleventy hundred gajillion? that’s a lot. yeah. i like money.
Yeah, I hate to turn and bite the hand that pats my ass but Nominus is correct.
Fix it! Fix it! Fix it!
Dude, it takes forever to load, then it just plays a cartoon johnny depp eating doritos over and over.
Conclusion: Best Will Smif movie EVER
true story: i stumbled into “i am black” this weekend with my friends. i was very, very drunk, because i figure that’s the only way you can swallow a will smith turd. anyways, i’m talking throughout the whole thing (somebody’s got to be “that guy”-right?) and the dude in front of me turns around and goes, “can you shut the fuck up!?” and then he looks over to his girlfriend and nods. so i go, “turn the fuck around and watch the movie!” – about thirty minutes go by and at some point in the flick when somethings blows up, or will smith mispronounces “earth” or something, i lean forward, real close and tap this guy on the shoulder. he turns around to look at me and i say real gently, “wasn’t that amazing…” and the dude just looks at me for a second, but then he gets a really big grin on his face and goes, “yeah…it was”.
he was such a homogenized fag.
ummm, i think you meant Smiff nommy. or is it smif? is there a consensus on whether the bastardized th makes an f or an ff sound? and is there a dif(f)erence? what the hell am i talkin bout?
ehhhhh…mmmm. nah. no thanks.
fyi: if you got to the "hood" and say you’re gangsta like them because you saw a will smith movie youll get the shit slapped out of you. just because you can move your head from left right whilst yelling and opening your mouth as much as possible does NOT make you gangsta, no, that makes you black.
Nicely done chod. My avatar likes your story too. It’s no baby orangutan but it’s about as smart.
Just out of curiosity fellow FilmDrunkards, do you think just because retards can lift 10 times their body weight that they would be good MMA fighters?
got= go
Wow, Retard MMA…I shall hate you forever for htinking it up before me. I guess I will have to settle for my retard plushie snuff films…
The plus side of retard MMA is that most of them will already have head gear if they choose to wear it. On second thought, why wear head gear? What, are they gonna get knocked "smart"? Retards are like live action gag reels.
Lance, at first ! thought that the caption on the new pic said "Coppin’ a squat old school" cuz that’s what chicks do. Cop squats. Guys cop feels.
wtf, it’s deader in here than a bunch of chinese tranny’s.
I love that they edited "bitch" out of "move bitch get out da way". True story: I used that song in highschool when I had to film a video about Othello. Basically it’s the end of the play and Iago (played by a Ken doll) hopes into a red corvette and the song starts playing. Then he’s attacked by a giant bat. Shakespeare really knows how to end a play, that’s why he’s classic.
In west Hollywood born and raised
On the playground where I tricked most of my days
whorin’ out, maxing, relaxing all cool
And all shooting some heroin outside of the school
When a couple of homos said "suck on this dude"
Started making trouble in my neighbourhood
I got in one little homosexual act of violence and my mom got scared
And said "you’re moving with your aunte and uncle in bel-air"
retard MMA i feel ,would be best if they would throw live animals into the octagon too…likw, not big animals or anything, but just little ones. ohhhh, and yellow hats- if they would throw yellow hats and small animals into the ring.
cause wee-tads love yellow fucking hats!
See what I did there, I changed the words and made it less gay.
I too use the old "bicept on the knee" trick to make me look jacked.
S.G.- How would you ungayify "doing the Carlton" ?
it’s deader in here than DB’s garlic cesar cockbreath nazi mother.
Is he wearing a unitard?
What’s gay about doin’ the Carlton? He’s pretty built.
What’s gay about doin’ the Carlton? He’s pretty built.
Yeah, he’s really been working out those cocksucking muscles.
That is what you learn at Bel Air Academy…
Ewe Gross
Visual.
in mind.
Can.
Not.
Erase.
true story: smif in iRobot reminded me of both iPods *gay* and Minority Report which reminds me of Tom Cruise *super uber do me in the ass with my own ego gay*
So, although I’d tap that fine black ass even if it broke into my house in the middle of the night, Will Smith now reminds me of gay things…
i never thought i’d say it, but:
i second fek.
He hangs out with Tom Cruise all the time too Kay. It is very gay-ish.
And his wife looks like a tiny midget drag queen.
yo, chod, us bud smokin’ cuzzinz gots to stick it out! Gnome sane? Gnome sane?
she has a mtal band…they were at Ozzfest.
She has a metal band…they were at Ozzfest a couple of years ago
Sorry, computer went crazy…I meant to say "mental" band anyhow.
Check in with you losers l8tr. See I used the number 8 to spell later. Gosh, I really am cool.
i don’t think it’s “slow” in here, so much as H.R. is starting to catch onto all the filmDRUNKS and fire them from their trusty nine-to-five’s.
New game! Make a title for the mutli-gajillion Will Smith movie!
HA! Check These White Folk!
Just a Homie Huntin’ Some Poon
Crocodile Dundee 4
Do you think that Dave Chappelle and Eriq LaSalle (just let your sooooouuulllllll glow!) are pissed that Will and Denzel are stealing all the good parts for black guys?
It’s not unlike the rage I feel about Russell Crowe and Christian Bale. And they’re foreign to boot. Assmunches.
Tron 2…WITH BLOOD!
gosh Soylent, I wish I could write like a junior highschooler too! how did you get so fly and cool?
now stop that foolishness before I ask you what your favorite color is and throw you and the rest of the "suicides" into the food!
Stale Prince of Belch Air
I love making random references it makes me feel so self-important and underground that I could go emo prarie dog on you guys and cut myself with some kobayashi porcelin…
BOOYA!
Mr. and Mrs. Smith go to Jail for Domestic Disturbance.
true story: would totally be Angie’s bitch if she went to prison.
no question.
AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! Deez White Folk Be Crazy As Hey-All! WITH BLOOD!
I Am R.O.T.O.R.
Please, Mr. Fekkywise, Don’t Hurt Me! No! NNNOOOOOOO!!! Don’t Put Me In There With *THEM*! HELP! Dear God Someone HEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLPPPPPP!!!
are we going to help Fek from himself? or should we just let him ride this one through?
I think it’s best if we leave him be.
Yeah, leave him be. After all, no one helps me when I have my "moments".
I don’t think Fekkywise can "hear us".
naw, kanny, datsch meh
Of course he can’t hear you Shamrock you dumbfuck, YOU’RE NOT YELLING!!!!
Dor sho gha! What’s with all the yelling? So, What did The Mighty One miss? Hey! Comments of the Week are up! QAPLAH!
it makes me so sad to see him like this…
not that it’s out of character but still…
should we put him down guys? is it that time?
By the way, I totally lucked out Friday night at our company Christmas dinner. It was an L-Shaped table, and my wife and I wound up sitting at the end furthest opposite Glen. I know you were all on pins and needles wondering how it went.
I Know You Want Me To Rub Lotion On My Skin, But I Am Legend Willl Smith, Not A Lady! You Can’t Make A Ladysuit Out Of Me!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Put The Lotion In The Fucking Basket! Now, It Tucks It’s Dick Between It’s Legs, Or Else I Drop The Heavy Kegs! That’s Right! PRECIOUS! Fetch MAster The Fifi! God Dammit! EAT THAT SHIT! OH THE HUMILITY!
I do not know why I’m laughing right now.
me neither dude…
I need to do work man
sometime’s it’s best to just walk away
Sometimes it’s best to just hover quietly in a darkend corner and wait for something cool to happen…….
……..
hahahah
I like your style Nom… I like your style
*puts on dark cloak with hood and creeps off into a corner to watch the convo die…with a snickers… after all it’s a feast!!*
Hey, you stepped on my foot. OwOwOwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeee
I’m sorry!!!!
*hands you an extra snickers*
feel better? I’ve got a dark chocolate one here too if you want it
Berfday! Hehe!
Nah, thanks, but you can have a nibble off of my 3 Musketeers bar, if you know what I’m saying. **wink wink**
What am I saying, anyways?
so what your saying is that your bar is chocolaty on the outside with wierd sticky whitish stuff on the inside?
yeah I get what you’re saying. But I prefer nuts with my white sticky stuff. throws off the wierd taste.
"What do you want? a cookie?"
Wow. That takes me back to 1999.
Dude, who the fuck is this fake Dirty Hairy? Step the fuck up and come out with it, faker!
and stepping out of the inuendo for a second, in reality a candy bar isn’t a candy bar without caramel…
that’s all I’m saying.
back to being dirty.
If I was a candy, I would be Sweet Tarts. Cuz I’m kinda sweet, but whenever I’m in a chick’s mouth, they get bitter beer face.
Truthfully, if my genetail was a type of candy, it would be "Rolo’s". But not a single one, the whole roll. Plus it’s thicker than that. Plus, it’s not really candy as much as it is "a penis".
And a sandwich just isn’t a sandwich without the tangy zip of my miracle whip…if you’re into that sort of thing, fucking pervert.
True story: several of my friend’s were all roommates and worked in a subway (DON’T JUDGE!) and two of them were fighting (both guys). So the first guy wasn’t working and said the the second guy "hey dude make me a sandwich when you get out of work and bring it home for me". And the second guy did. But not after rubbing his cock in the bread before making the sandwich. And then the first guy fucking ate that sandwich like it was his late meal and it’s been a secret now for five years… until now.
I can’t think of the term "hearty italian" without smiling now.
last* meal BOB SAGGET!
Did this Subway guy have a boyfriend named "Byron"????
nope although one of them now does have a boyfriend… .but it’s not byron lol
How about this, this isn’t southeast Iowa, is it?
What do you want to know Fek? Just a fan of Filmdrunk.
Yeah, right you little fuck! You stole my WWTDD name!
I had no idea. I’m sorry Fek’Face.
LIES!
It’s more of a description than a name. I’m quite filthy and hirsute. It’s rather disturbing really.
Out with it!
Really, I have no idea who you are or were on WWTDD. I’ve been using DH as a joke for years. At least 5. So no stealing or being fake, just a common sense of humor.