![Reading \](http://www.filmdrunk.com//ul/841-hurt.jpg "Reading \")
In a recent interview with Premiere, John "Bringin’ Tha" Hurt, discussed his role in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull and had some choice words:
If I was asked what I would choose to do, it [the Indiana Jones movie] would be lightweight for me, at least for that sort of time commitment.
Oh snap! "It would be lightweight for me" is British actor speak for "Your whore of a mother really peels the scabs and lets the pus flow, bitch."
And my boy wasn’t finished, neither. He had some smack to lay down on George Lucas first.
George is a bit socially crippled really. Not good with people. So I just left him alone.
BOOSH! Who would’ve thought a guy that dresses like an aging lesbian version of Alf and thought Jar-Jar Binks was a good idea wouldn’t relate well to others? Certainly not me! I say we settle this with a walk off.
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**Standing behind John Hurt screaming "YEAH!!"
And George Lucas better stop wearing flannel. I invented that, you retard.
Other John Hurt quotes:
"People like us, who turn ourselves inside out for a living, we get into an emotional tussle rather than a marriage. It’s fire I’m playing with and it isn’t surprising I’m not the ideal companion on a daily basis. But it takes two. I mean, Christ, I haven’t forced anybody."
"I don’t make plans at all. Plans are what make God laugh. You can make plans, you can make so many plans, but they never go right, do they?"
"I’ve spent a great deal of my life doing independent film, and that is partly because the subject matter interests me and partly because that is the basis of the film industry. That’s where the filmmakers come from, it’s where they start and sometimes its where they should have stayed."
I want John Hurt to be my spiritual advisor.
he sounds like a real charmer
He needs to learn how to slide the end of his belt through the belt loop. Either that, or he needs to learn how to make like he’s stroking it. It would be hilarious. But I wouldn’t laugh, cuz I know that joke. I made it up.
other John Hurt qoutes " I once killed a traveling gypsie took get an erection, then I ate her heart. I also like crossword puzzles".
A few other John Hurt quotes:
‘You’ll have to push harder for me to feel it, it’s been jolly well reamed out.’
‘I prefer that you don’t wash it as I rather like the taste.’
‘Given that I am a gigantic poof, it’s rather a miracle I can stop sucking cock long enough to work at all.’
SOYLENT GREEN (is people): he’s been hangin’ with Neil Diamond: ‘this is a song i wrote after i killed a drifter to get an erection. ::singing:: ‘forever in blue jeans!’…
Is a crossword puzzle like that phrase "teh ghey"? Cuz if so, I’m good at those.
More John Hurt: "I like fatties. If you give them food they don’t complain as much. Also, they have folds which are like bargain basement vaginas, so when you get bored of the shops…"
other John Hurt qoutes "I love the wilderness, I once strangled a Kodiak bear with just my sphincter muscle, and I saw a donkey have sex with a pink dragon. Wait that was in Shrek".
More John Hurt: "I sleep in a room with 65 kittens. I like the way they smell and their calls sound like hooker screams. It is bloody well like Heaven."
Bne_pro
yes Will Ferrell was lifted a bit, but I changed it enough to not get sued for copyright infringment.
The tail end of a John Hurt quote: "…and he made a balloon for it! Anyways, LONG-STORY-SHORT…..is a phrase whose origins are complicated and rambling."
This is what it says about him at imdb: "Britain’s superbly eccentric import John Hurt is a perfect example of how huge, wondrous gifts can come in small, unadorned packages."
I’m pretty sure they’re saying he’s kinky and has a small penis, but still pleases the ladies.
Or they’re saying he has a huge penis. I can’t tell
Either way "huge, wondrous gifts can come in small, unadorned packages," is not how I would start my bio.
John Hurt once read a book aloud by a ladder. Then put his belt in the belt loop only after mimicking like he was wackin off. He crazy.
la la
"Huge, wondrous gifts can come in small, unadorned packages."
If a woman said this to me I would immediatley think she shaves and has a huge holed out vajajay. Think about that before you start your bio.
Is it just me, or was that photo taken like it is his Senior Picture?
Guys. I gotta go. Feel free to nominate everything I have said today. I don’t plan on being funny tomorrow. I plan on being hungover, or kidnapped by gypsies (it’s a hobby of mine).
Guys
She was talking to me, ya’know.
He must have been held back a few years. Or has that disease that ages you, like that thing in island of Dr. Moreau.
What was that thing…Val Kilmer?
I’m leaving now. I suggest you all do the same. Go home and be with your families. Or, if you have no family like me, then do what I do: Call My drug dealer. You know, for shits and giggles. Herion is awesome like that.
hmmmm. fairwell. slackers.
John Hurt: "Have you ever seen a full-grown man bugger an aubergine for the perverse amusement of a troupe of dancing midget clowns, so their vicious horde would spare his innocent cocker spaniel puppy from a brutal gang skull-rogering? While backstage at the RSC during a particularly dull performance of Lear? I have. I was that cocker spaniel. Bless ‘im."
Wow Butters, wow. I was gonna wade into the John Hurt quotes ring but I really cannot follow that. No, that’s not what I meant. I have good material I can use, I simply cannot follow your prose. What the fuck are you talking about?
Also John Hurt’s vagina has polio (for the real Drunkards up in this piece).
Translation: "Have you ever seen a full-grown man [sodomize] an [eggplant] for the perverse amusement of a troupe of dancing midget clowns, so their vicious horde would spare his innocent cocker spaniel puppy from a brutal gang skull-[fucking]? While backstage at the [Royal Shakespeare Company] during a particularly dull performance of Lear? I have. I was that cocker spaniel. Bless [that man]."
I hope that’s helpful, Erswi.
Also, John Hurt’s polio has vaginas. Weird, huh?
butters, i second erswi, truly a lementably difficult ‘act to follow’
i’d only wonder why the midget clowns didn’t really make it more difficult for the poor ol mucker and insist he bugger a corgette (sp).
What ain’t no country I ever heard of. They speak English in What? ENGLISH MOTHER FUCKER DO YOU SPEAK IT?
Bne_pro: All the corgettes collapsed with the mighty thrust of the guy, so they found the aubergine to be more stable.
Whoopsie, "courgette" would be the proper spelling.
I didn’t know Erswi had the amazing power to turn into Samuel L. Jackson at will. Yeah, I got the reference, motherfucker!
Look, all I ever meant to say is…John Hurt=cocker spaniel.
John Hurt = Hooker Fought Back
John Hurt can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
John Hurt is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball John Hurt played as a kid.
John Hurt can slam a revolving door.
John Hurt’s various accomplishments are often erroneously credited to Chuck Norris. John Hurt is compiling a list of the people who haven’t given him his proper due, and they will be soundly skull-rogered in reverse alphabetical order.
John Hurt CAN believe it’s not butter.
The facehugger and chestburster scenes in Alien were based on incidents from John Hurt’s time in the Royal Navy.
I just got I am Legend, dvd screener. Bout to watch it. You can’t see my right now, but I’m sticking out my tongue in a rude manner.
You = teh suxxorz Nommy. But not nearly as much as if you had No Country. I cannot for the life of me
piratedownloadstealget out to watch that movie at a reputable cinema theater.Yeah so I was in the field today and missed a lot and I know everyone’s gone home and gotten way drunk but since this is the most recent thread I’ll ask it here.
With Lance being on Left Coast time and the impending holiday looming when can we expect to see Comments o’ the Weak? I’m putting $50 on sometime in February ’08. Any takers? Going once . . . twice . . . too bad you fuckers aren’t around . . . gone.
Damn. I assumed I Am Legend would have been more like 2 hours, not an hour and a half. But it was a pretty decent flick.
erswi: I think the bigger question is: What is Lance doing on the West Coast?
My money is on:
My money is on:
To be fair to the big poof, I’d be socially crippled if I was a billionair and had every nerd on the planet stalking me…
Karma, BOOSH!
Ha Robo, I get off a plane at 4:30pm tomorrow and am set to meet friends in the bar at 5pm. It is my duty to explain to them that I’d much rather be drinking with my friends than hanging around with coffin-dodgers.
Can someone from the CKT send me the code for the FILMDRUNK.COM banner? I’m posting it on my new site.
Check yo inbox luch. I think I sent it to you. Who knows with these PC’s. OOOOO!!! PC=Personal Computer!! I just got that!
I am technically alive today, so fuck all of you.
Perhaps we can guilt Lance into doing COTW today?
Hey, Fek, this is for you
http://www.flickr.com/photos/poletti/sets/72157602965392887
The Mighty Fek’lhr will be leaving for a while to furiously masturbate his job away…
UGH!
Dor sho gha!
Grrr…premature ejaculation!
stone: castle of the winds?
Perhaps we can guilt Lance into doing COTW today?
Sure dude, no problem, just let me say something funny first. Ummm…..hm……..!.
………..AH! I’ve got it!
DOR SHO GHA!
barbara babcock is a super-galactically-hot babe of star trek.
‘Babcock’ is an olde english word for Beejay.
Guy’cha! The guy that fixes The Mighty Fek’lhr’s air conditioner is named ‘Babcock’! ALl this time He just thought the guy was friendly…
Honestly I’m not really anticipating COtW. I have not been feeling the funny since I got back from Disney World. I think that Mickey Mouse drained all the humor from my body and replaced it with an intense desire to consume mass produced capitalist merchandise bearing the endorsement of a bloated multi-national corporation’s cartoon mascot.
erswi: hey, sex sells. fugghetaboutit
Erswi, It was me that sucked out the humor. Oh, wait, that was something else. sorry
I havent been around this week, and when I was, i just sucked.
And He has been sick the past few days. :( Jellybean Tempo Monk
Fek ma boy, did you just anagram empty jenkem balloon? Way to go buddy!
Dor sho gha! Whaddya know…He did, Erswi!
Kick Ass. There is a 1 in 30 chance of Mars getting smacked by an asteroid on January 30th. That would be pretty fucking cool, especially if it happened at nightime on the side of Mars facing earth. Fingers crossed. FUCK MARVIN!
Countdown to Lance posting 17 articles in 10…. 9…
G’morning. John Hurt isn’t exactly the face I want to wake up to, but he, it could be Paris Hilton still.
+y
Not that I wake up to the face of Paris Hilton normally. Just she was on a banner pic yesterday.
What’s up you lipstick and leather lovin’ freaks? Still talkin’ about John Hurt I see.
Lance should be around shortly, I nudged him when I got out of bed. Err, I mean, I heard from some tranny that he’ll be here shortly cuz he/she just left his house.
GRRRRR…….PANCAKES AND BACON BREAKFASTS!!!
JHC, you slut.
*BUZZ*
john hurt looks like hillary clinton with a beard.
*BUZZ*
Fek, quit straddling the trash can, shaving your pubes. It’s annoying.
John Hurt looks like he’s had more weiner go through him than an Oscar Mayer plant.
Guys. He’s not Gay. He’s theatrical. Like Jacktion!.
lala, for the win
The Mighty Fek’lhr has instituted a new brand of comedy for Filmdrunk! It is the "baS’in Show!" Now, instead of "buzzing" unfunny people, He will strike His "baS’in" and a loud BONG!!!!!!! will sound out!
Nom-BONG!!!!
wah wah wah waaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh
ever since i was a toddler my gramps* always told me that theatrics were for teh ghey and if i were ever to land the lead in King Henry than Id be a ‘raging fag’ all my life. :[
*gramps=bum on street that would beg for nickels.
LaLa, maybe he’s a thespian. They like women, right?
He’s been married 4 times.
GUy’cha! No Stefaniying this thread! BONG!!!!
New up forshak licking kotals!
so this one time i decided to play some hindi music videos at my private practice, when some of my patients came in they were looking at me with this odd look as if i was a terrorist. i had to turn it off for this one patient becuase she was ‘offended’….old hag.
i know, how can i have a private practice if im still not done with my BA? well i dabble in amateur clinicing here and there, I figure Ive watched enough Patch Adams to know that laughter is the best medicine.
shit, ignore that post.