The trailer for Horton Hears a Who, featuring voice work by Jim Carrey, Steve Carell, Jonah Hill, Seth Rogen, and Isla Fisher, is now online. As you can see.
It’s from Fox, but appears to be a pretty competent Pixar ripoff, and dare I say it, looks pretty badass. And by that I mean it looks like an excellent movie to see after I’ve taken a bunch of drugs (not to be confused with a movie that makes me feel like I’ve taken a bunch of drugs).
Don’t pet the children, don’t pet the children, don’t pet the children… DAMMIT! They should really keep the youngins out of these animated flicks.
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Dr. Seuss was an abortion doctor in real life. That’s where he got all his funny ideas from.
Gotta go. I’ve got to film 2 girls shitting in my hat.
Why do people always confuse Dr.
SeussSpock with Mr. Spock from Star Trek?It must be because they both shamefully wet their beds as children and get butterfarts at Christmas going back in time to give their mother a coathanger on a helicopter.Based on the title alone, this movie will do very well up here.
10 points for the person who knows why.
why?
Dr Suess was Canadian?
Hey Fek. Nanoo Nanoo or whatever it is you space people say to each other in the morning. Wonder where everybody else is? Must be a black holiday or something.ÂÂ
What’s the point of having Isla Fisher in a movie if you don’t get to see her?
There are elephants in Canada?
Oops-good morning, honkeys!
Guy’cha! They multiply like tribbles, Duke!
Oooh! I’ve got it! The Reverend Horton Heat is Canadian, and people will think this is about him!
good morning everyone…i’m back like a herpe outbreak.
I’ve never met anyone who only had one herpe. Usually you get several at a time.
Hey chodder.
::jhc climbs out from behind a blown up money cart in the bellagio vault::
"wear da fuk yoo bin?"
I lived in a piss ant little town called Horton for 4 years. Thats where I represented myself and my wife against the district attorney and won. It was the highlight of my life.
I am pretty sure herpes come in groups, like a little infected party that shares with others
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tim_Hortons
you all get -1 point
And why is the theme song for beatlejuice in this? Or is it from Tales from the Crypt?
Is that why there was a hockey player-themed donut shop in Wayne’s World?
jack – should i have said “staph infection”? those come in singular quantities, right? maybe?
JHC- first off: adorable avatar…like, really makes me want to fuck a baby orangutan. second: i’ve been working out like a hoss. third: work got spyware. fourth: i just stopped giving a fuck.
Maybe Horton speaks french and is into curling.
Is that why there was a hockey player-themed donut shop in Wayne’s World?
Most likely. I worked at one, but I quit. There are 4 or 5 in my town.
TIm Hortons, Candian coffee shop,where Karla Homolka said she would go as soon as they let her out. Crazy bitch should still be in prison
And snow. Horton loves snow.
“founded by Tim Horton, who played in the National Hockey League from 1949 until his death in a car accident in 1974″
That’s a lot of hockey….
Dude, the REverend Horton Heat is from Texas. Everyone knows that. The Steers n Queers State. That’s their official motto, right?
And syrup.
crap i should read it all before i post. i was so excited that i knew the answer though. and to give the little serial killer tidbit
empty today sponge :(
Kevin Smith mention Timmy’s in one of his interview movies.
http://www.2Hortons1cup.com
I am neither steer nor queer, but I live in Texas.
I hope I dont get deported.
Eb, you’re for killing ‘tards right? You’ll be fine.
and why are they letting Jim Carrey creep up the Suess stuff again? Havent we suffered enough with that damn live action grinch movie? I would punch him in his crazy face
Don’t ask don’t tell…you should be safe Eibmoz
Texas is home to some of the proudest toothless rednecks in the world.
tards such as Jerry Bruckheimer and Uwe Boll, shit yeah
I thought it was Horton fears the jew. What the hell is a who?
"The franchises exist at a ratio to Canadian citizens of approximately 1:15,000. Thus a town of population 60,000 typically has four Tim Hortons, and any town larger than 15,000 will likely have at least one. The exception to this rule is Hamilton, home of the first Tim’s, which reportedly has the world’s highest density of donut shops per capita at approximately one shop per 300 residents"
not to veer off subj. too much here hombres, but since when is it ‘bad work ethic’ to point out a dude that only has one arm? i was sent home from work yesterday because i was ‘berating’ a crippled customer about how he needs two arms to steal. cunts.
christ on a cracker! that’s a lot of donuts!
I’m off to work. Bi guys.
I wouldn’t say “bad work ethic”…”just blunt honesty”
whoa, dub, sometimes i cant tell what is truth and what is not. you frighten me. seriously
dub, i feel ya’ hombre. i’m glad that you put that gimp in his place.
in a good way
What freaking me out is that I just watched the original version of this not 2 days ago. It’s on the same DVD as How The Grinch Stole Christmas. This is probably the only Dr. Seuss remake that I will see because it’s using the same look as the original, not putting overactors into elaborate makeup for 2 hours. I can handle the overacting as long as I don’t have to look at them at the same time.
down here we call our local doughnuts beignets. and they are far superior to other forms of doughnuts. what is the superlative doughnut? discuss.
Is hombre the new bro?
french crueller. But only when you work at a donut store and get them for free. They’re mostly air. If not, boston cream, best bang for buck.
oooh beignets and coffe with chickory *sigh*
now you’re makin me hard Eib. i’m gonna have to run to Morning Call in a bit.
and yes, hombre is the new bro . . . hombre!
Boston cream tops the list without a doubt.
chodin my nigga, is you back now or what? i thought you officially retired and wanted to pursue body building full time now broha.
erswi- my local iHOP had those, i of course called them bei-nuts, theyre basically little balls of glazed dough. do you guys have contests to see who can put the most balls in their mouth, down there?
excellent. I was tiring of bro. So much so that i began saying "bra" instead. True story.
if you guys have not had a beignet . . . sorry for this but it’s the only good line . . .
You don’t even know!
I agree with Boston Cream
why the hell is there a batman trailer over on durden and not here?
yeah, ummm, i think you’ve been had dub. beignets don’t have glaze on them and they’re not little balls. they’re flat, square cuts of dough that inflate with air when fried and are served covered in powdered sugar. whose balls were you sucking glaze from?
batman trailer is back up. i just watched it a min. ago
Boston Creme doughnuts are so good that sometimes I have to buy another inferior doughnut just to bring the average enjoyment down to a tolerable level.
FUCKN IHOP!!!
would that inferior doughnut be one of the glazed balls of which dub seems so fond.
Dor sho gha! THis has to be the best quote He has ever seen on the internets (from a Cracked.com Craigslist article):
"Sodomy is the ultimate act of trust. You could really get hurt if you resist. But pushing past that fear, by passing through it, lite rally the joy that lies on the other side of convention … If you’re an atheist, you will get to know God experientially, from being fucked in the ass."
no, Fek, still an athiest
http://tinyurl.com/2x3tfs
the greatest thing on the face of the earth. anything else is just someone’s ball that you suck glaze from. it’s true.
We have a Canadian Maple donut that’s boston creme with maple dip instead of chocolate. We like to mix it up, that’s why we allow the geys to get married.
you know whats great, maple candy mmmmm
Eib, The Mighty One nommed your Today Sponge quote. Maybe you will win! Maybe!
im pretty sure those two are acts against god agb, now i may not believe in god (no offense JHC) but im pretty sure a whole country can go to hell for that.
not that i ever thought differently, but life really isn’t worth living without filmdrunk and all of you.
i realized this on my vision quest this week.
That does look good. Another reason to travel to New Orleans. My parents were supposed to fly there 9 days after the hurricane hit (planned it before the hurricane) for their 25th anniversary. Now they’re separated. Act of god.
Funny story, so at our office x-mas party yesterday, some people were talking about how gays can get married in Canada and one person goes “I got married in Canada” and another turns to her and says”I didn’t know you were Canadian”. It was much funnier with some wine…
Wow dub dub we both talked about acts of god within moments of eachother. Weird. Act of god.
You Canadians sre do love your maple. I ate at Le Celier (sp?), the steakhouse in the Canada section of Epcot in Disney, and they had maple flavored creme brule. It was soooooooo good.
Erswi, your beignets look an awful lot like carnival funnel cakes.
Thanks for the love, Fek
if’n you’re planning to travel to new orleans lots of folks will tell you to come during mardi gras. i am not one of them. jazzfest is where it’s at.
http://www.nojazzfest.com/
you guys ever had a fucking steak? steak is pretty goddamn good. better than all your fucking pussy-ass pastries combined. BOOSH!
i bet glen doesn’t eat pastries because he has sensitive teeth.
i also bet that glen doesn’t ever “not” kill the women he takes to dinner.
true story: a couple of days ago when i went on my ‘meeting’, i took this girl to the BK lounge (im pretty sure she was excited because when we pulled up she was like ‘are you serious?’ as if she was in disbelif that i can take her there) anyways…so after ordering and sitting down what do i do to seal the deal? that’s right, i poured maple su-rup all over her ciniminis. try it guys!
funnel cakes are an inferior form of pastry Jack! blasphemer!
i realized this on my vision quest this week
Why ain’t they killin’ us?
Cuz we’re in the spirit world ya asshole.
now i may not believe in god (no offense JHC)
No sweat dubs. Just so long as you believe in me, or at least my abilities with a (fake) guitar.
If you love the jazzfest so much, where did you link us to a website that obviously is for the abolishment of the jazzfest?
NoJazzFest.com?
dub, i had no idea you were such a ladies man.
dub dub is the new don juan. you old romantic, you.
chode- i thought you were a bit rusty at first but that last post says to me that you’re back!!!
NO as in New Orleans . . . schmuck!
funnel cakes? no way eck
Shmuck? It was observational humor! That’s funny shit!
actually we use that in advertising a lot around here. our local AIDS awareness group is NOAIDS. what? i’ve seen the commercials. i’m clean. seriously. don’t look at me like that.
funnel cakes are redneck pancakes
oh, by the way Fek, it would take an act of god to get me in Cotw.
see how I brought it all back there?
dub- i stay sharp.
…i also make it RAIN ON DEM HOES!!!!
i thought toast was a redneck pancake. hmmm, that’ll teach me.
eib/erswi- what can i say? i am to get in those pants. although, inexplicabley she hasn’t returned my calls. prob playing hard to get right?
JHC- hombre, i have full FAITH in your abilities to rock out with your cock out.
the plate itself is the redneck pancake.
it’s all good Jack! i knew where you were coming from. don’t worry, i don’t hate you (much).
shes just playing hard to get Dub, show up at her house with flowers, she’ll love it. if she’s not home, wait a few hours
am is the new ‘aim’ this holiday season.
How about:
funnel cakes = carnival filet mignon
Corn dogs=carnival filet mignon
new up yingtaghs.
JHC – i can’t get it out of my head. i want to wear that baby oragutang like an orange condom.
Hey dubs, how’d you know I play
with myselfGH3 without my pants on?doesnt everyone?
doesn’t everyone play with themselves
GH3that way?jinx!
gotcha dude, not another word till someone says your name.
He helps keep me real chodders. Everytime I think about doin’ a line of blow or hookin’ up with some crackhead tranny that needs $10 "real bad", all I have to do is look into his eyes, and fuck that tranny real good. Then my problems don’t seem so bad.
wow! thats crazy.
When you think about it it is totaly a parallel of abortion! This elephant (horton) is a prophet who can hear things that other people cannot becouse of the size of his ears. He is the one to hear that there is a living person on this speck. Then comes along a kangaroo, like the kangaroo court wich was the court that began abortion. This kangaroo is confident that because he cannot see what horton is describing, that there is infact nothing living on the speck. When infact, there is. What we need in america is not pro chioce but rather more people like horton who are willing to take risk to protect the children who are voicles. We have become such a selfish nation, that because all we care about is ourself and our love for money, we become willing to sacrifice the special gift of LIFE, that by the way none of us deserve, just to reduce some financial risk. Today the unborn dont have a voice and because of that 50 million women are having abortions a year. If your wondering why thease peole were willing to take such extreme measures to get a point across, it is because it is an extreme time in which we live, where we have to fight to be a voice for the voiceless. In fact " A Person Is a Person no matter how small!"
Holy shit dude! This post is 3 fuckin’ months old, and you still have typos? Perhaps you should have been aborted for dumbfuckedness.
I want to wear a dead baby as a condom and then fuck you jms81391.
Personally I’m relieved that unborn fetuses (fetii?) are voiceless, or as you have so eloquently phrased it voicles. If that goddamned unborn speck of organic matter in that bitches gut starts talking, I am outta hear like the one black guy in every horror movie. Not the dumb fuck that dies, the real one that never fucking went to Camp Crystal Elm St. in the first fuckin place. I am that guy.
Unless the fetus has Bruce Willis’ voice, I don’t want to hear the fucker talking.
Mmm I love frozen grape voicles. They make my tongue purpley!
i for one am against abortion
I wouldn’t say I’m against abortion so much as being pregnant in the first place. Call me old fashioned, but they can’t get pregnant if you
put it in their assdon’t have sex at all.If fetuses (feti) could scream, would we be so cavalier about aborting them?
Maybe, if they screamed all the time, and for no good reason.
Bex, you didn’t follow that up with a punch-line.
True story: China does abortions all the time, especially if you are born a girl.
GRRRR…4TH TRIMESTER ABORTIONS!!!!
” A Person Is a Person no matter how small!”
Come on…would you really consider Warwick Davis a person?
fek are we creepy bunnies today?
So we go straight from a thread talking about the sexy parties teenagers throw to abortion… cool, we got to skip the morning sickness and do-it yourself coat hanger talks!
NEW POSTS FOR 3 MONTHS!!!!
Jack, 5 and 6 year old kids scream all the time and you don’t see me getting squeamish about killing them, do you?
Bex-What is so creepy about mine?
I wonder if I can nom the Warwick Davis comment on a 3 month old thread….
Fek, you nominate hundreds of comments that Lance wishes you wouldn’t…so come on pusy, NEVER BACK DOWN!!!!
In three months, you’ll know damned good and well what pusy means!
::gives chodin an ass slap::
I’ve got your back man….
Oh yeah, I TOTALLY forgot, fuck! “Pusy” won’t be invented for another 2 1/2 months…thanks JHC.
*Chodin slaps JHC’s butt…keeps hand on ass…keeps holding…holding…lets go and walks away quickly.*