Ostensibly, this is the trailer for a Japanese movie, Machine Girl. Beyond that, I don’t know what the hell it is. But it gives me a happiness boner.
It seems like it’s a tongue-in-cheek comedy but it’s from Japan so you never know. In the end, what does it really matter? It’s a girl with drill tits and people spraying blood. Doesn’t matter whether they were trying to be serious or funny, either way I’ll be enjoying myself. The Japanese are like the insane homeless guy on my block who craps himself and rambles nonsense all day long, but occasionally stumbles upon some real wisdom, like the day he told me pants are for queers.
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I’m pretty sure this must have been written by a asian guy in my 2nd year creative writing class. He submitted a torture story and another story about how much of a dick the professor was. Actual dialogue after the football player gets hit by a car:
"MY LEGS ARE SHATTERED GLASS!!!! OH. MY! GOD!!!!"
They aren’t "drill tits" they are drill jumblies.
And it’s not "sushi" it’s finger food.
It’s like "Kill Bill V1" + "Planet Terror" + "Teeth" + "hallucinogens" + "a fucked up cooking show" + "a fucked up building show"
I’m pretty sure this must have been written by a asian guy in my 2nd year creative writing class.
Please get a copy and send that to me.
Please get a copy and send that to me.
I don’t have it, but I remember the plot involving poisoning people with something at a highschool bake sale to get revenge. When that doesn’t work they run the guy over. The highschool teacher is a creative writing teacher who is gay (like our teacher at the time) who doesn’t like the narrator’s writing (like our teacher at the time).
This kid didn’t talk in class. Ever. I had a Virginia Tech vibe from him.
Needless to say he didn’t make it into the 3rd year writing class.
Lalala: I am the asian guy from your 2nd year creative writing class!
Dun! Dun! Daaaaa!
I wish my life had coincidences like Dickens novels. But alas, the picture in my locket doesn’t match the portrait on the wall of the wealthy old man. So no giant inheritance for me. Just old, inexpensive, ugly furniture.
I don’t want to watch this. Also, I hate you all.
Tarantino already made this film 19 times.
LaLa: You forgot Evil Dead (That’s where I went when the girl was making the Gatlin arm)
S’up..I’ve been away and now I am back….hope I didn’t miss too much..
You been talking to da cops, haven’t you affleck?
Hey affleck, good to have you back.
affleck is a stoolie! everybody
killshun him.oh and that film looks awesome….I want to see it now.
Tarantino already made this film 19 times.
Nor was he the first. I’ll still watch people spray blood.
I took a well earned break, spent 3 days sitting on the sofa…that was it just sitting…watching stuff. Then I spent 2 days moving the rest of my womans stuff in. That wasn’t so much fun. I didn’t know she had so much stuff I wouldn’t of let her move in………bitch.
I love movies like this! but i’m already wondering where the handjob joke fits into the plot. the sushi guy, perhaps?
Speakin’ of sprayin’ blood, anybody watch It’s a Wonderful Life last night?
i love that flick chado. the best part is when jimmy stewart discovers that the angel is really a zombie and has to blow his head off with a shotgun. X-mas classics, you can’t beat em.
Any one else think that if It’s a wonderful life continued a little further and showed what everyone was up to 6 months down the line, old Jimmy Stewart would be about to jump of that bridge again.
a fucking fat angel can only make you happy for a little while, soon you realise that life still does suck no matter what that tubby bastard said.
I’m going to see it at a movie theater on Wednesday Luch. I love that movie because I love stutter acting and tall, underweight men. Hotness.
I also love how the biggest punishment for a woman is being a *gasp* librarian.
i think you meant . . . librARYAN, didn’t you?
WooHoo! LibrARYAN NATION!!!
Don’t let Nom hear(see) that. He’ll have brain malfunction of some kind.
Darn it. See.
WooHoo!! Nom!!
Breathe Nom. Slowly. In and out. Can you see colours yet?
knew that’d get his dander up. or get something up. nevermind, i don’t wanna talk about this anymore.
Needs a disclaimer "Don’t watch this while eating cereal for breakfast." Now excuse me while I clean down my computer in a fashion I’m not use to.
Well. I’m going to go write my essay that’s due today. 700 more words to go. Woot!
lala, if you would just c&p the comments you’ve logged in FD over the last coupla days you’d have to be close to 700 words. not that any of it would make a damned bit o sense, but making sense is overrated anyway, right?
Pants ARE for queers, kotal!
thank god Fek is here! i thought i dursted this fucker for a coupla minutes now.
WooHoo! Queers wearing Pants!!
nominus, are you off your meds today? you seem extremely over-enthused.
OOps, I meant:
Grrrr…queers wearing pants!!
Better erswi? Yeah, my old lady took my meds out of my pocket, and I didn’t notice til I was on my way to work.
Machine gun arm… flying guilliotine… drill bra… but no bear-trap vagina?
What a fucking rip-off.
Maybe you just can’t see it b/c her vagina has teeth . . . . . or polio? Awww, c’mon. Still nothing? That’s the funniest shit I’ve said all year on FD and I get no love for it. Damn.
Yakuza. Ninjas. Tempura. Sushi. Flying Guillotine. Drill Bra. Revenge. Stickers. Meerkats. Reverse Cowgirl. Bumfights. Glen. Colonialism. Egoiste. McFlurry. Sportsmanship. Books. Machine Girl.
Polio? What is so qovlpathing funny about snotty british guys playing some yIntagh game?
[www.youtube.com]
For the longest time The Mighty Fek’lhr thought it was "Meekrats", weird.
I saw an episode of meerkat manor and one of them got bit on the head by a cobra and died.
true story.
Yakuza. Ninjas. Tempura. Sushi. Flying Guillotine. Drill Bra. Revenge. Stickers. Meerkats. Reverse Cowgirl. Bumfights. Glen. Colonialism. Egoiste. McFlurry. Sportsmanship. Books. Machine Girl.
Aren’t these lyrics from that Bod Dylan song?
The Mighty Fek’lhr thinks it is hilarious when that tahQeq Lance Mangina gets all pissy when He starts to complain about CotW. As in, PUT UP THE FUCKING COTW, YOU COCKFUCKING SHITFUCK!
Dor sho gha!
Bad! Bad Ken Shamrock!
Ken Shamrock – Small, muscley, red pants.
Aren’t these lyrics from that Bod Dylan song?
No. I’m quoting Maya Angelou’s famous poem "Stickers, Meerkats, Rise."
Procrastination Nation:
I just found a video of a orphaned baby sea otter. If they put it in a cowboy costume (with a little gun holster) I think my head would implode.
Affleck, I was trying to find the video from planet earth where these african river otters torment a crocodile. The greatest tv experience of my life.
DON’T TALK SHIT ABOUT TOTAL!
(does anyone get that joke?)
Don’t talk shit about kotal?
Dawnt tawk sheet bowt totil
Otters tormenting a Crocodile……sounds awesome.
[www.thatvideosite.com]
That’s right, The Mighty One has linked to a video! Prepare to be emasculated!
I think that’s a fair rule: not talking about a guy’s dick without his permission. Seems reasonable to me. Plus, I think there are bigger issues between the two of them than his penis. Just a guess.
Guy’cha! The infection is spreading!
New Post btw…
And why do you need permission to talk about people’s dicks?
Fek’lhr has an odd shaped Klingon cock. There.
I’m saying as a relationship stipulation it is not completely bizarre. It’s not like: "If you want to date me, no talking about the Smithsonian Museum."
I like how the titles pee on you at the end. It made me want to piss my pants, except I wasn’t wearing any.
Also, Lala, was your classmate the VTech Shooter? Lance, I think you should make an official inquiry.
Hahaha…I just read that third comment you left, damn, I really wished it was that guy, we would have some priceless material and Lance could use it to write his Oscar winning screenplay
No, but since the Vtech shooter was a creative writing student, my fiction writing class has been held in the Behavioural Science building. It’s like they’re studying us. For some reason the door to the roof of the building is not locked though. Weird.
I’m going to have a hard time explaining to my office manager why there’s a smoking hole that smells like jizz in my ceiling. I’d show her that clip, but I don’t think she’d understand… and I’d hate to blow another hole in the ceiling. Old Boy + PCP = Boner.
the insane homeless guy on my block who craps himself and rambles nonsense all day long, but occasionally stumbles upon some real wisdom, like the day he told me pants are for queers.
This guy’s sarcastic brother is living outside my local grocery store. In between shouting things like "THIS WORLD IS GOIN’ STRAIGHT TA HELL!" he’ll turn to you and go "Oh, look here! Someone who don’t need to care about fashion!"
Somehow that cuts me deeper than "Your pants are queer."
That was pretty cool. Now I wish I’d jacked off to this trailer instead of the picture of the Magic Rainbow Pony.
Holy jumpin’ Jesus! It’s the second coming of Dead Alive!
how the fuck did i miss this post???