This is the Russian trailer for Cloverfield. It’s pretty much like the American trailer, but with the dialogue turned off (Russians don’t tolerate much lip flapping in their movies) and a little more footage.
Footage which is like trying to watch the Zapruder film from inside a washing machine. Dude, did Kennedy get shot?? I don’t know, but I just puked on myself!
I hate this movie already. I hope JJ Abrams gets butt cancer.
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Qaplah, tovarisch!
Doesn’t a Russian Trailer cost extra? That bitch last night told me it did. And it was not worth the 50 bucks I dropped, lemmetellyouonething.
In Soviet Russia, stupid movie trailer watches YOU.
Shouldn’t this post have a butt cancer tag? Can you do that for us Lance? Pretty please? Oh, and Fek wanted me to ask . . .
WHEN THE FUCK ARE YOU EVER GONNA POST COTW, YOU FORSHAK LICKING SON OF A TAQ’KEGH? QAP’LAH! AND OTHER STUFF AS WELL! LIKE, UMM, DOLEMITE! YEAH THAT’S IT.
In the Russian movie the monster is a tariff free economy. Zing.
Wow. Apparently there is a market for shitty movies in Russia too! WhodaThunkit?
10 points for using the word Dolemite, J.
Instead of blurring the sound they should have used muted trumpets, like when adults talked on Charlie Brown.
You know that guy that got killed by the tiger? His family said that the tiger killing their son "ruined Christmas" for them.
No shit-1
Rationale-0
thank you stone, i’ll take the noisemaker, a bouncy ball, and um . . . ooh, a rainbow pencil topper for my bff.
How did it not break down half way through? Those Reds are getting crafty.
**attempts to high five erswi, but misses, pokes him in the eye**
owww, my eye!
[tinyurl.com]
Don’t chicken out, yIntaghs.
Sorry, J – for 10 points you have the choice of a plastic harmonica, a rubber finger puppet, or a Dio sticker.
no fuckin contest, i’ll take the Dio sticker thankyouverymuch.
Oops – sorry, that’s a Dior sticker.
I love you,
erswiDio.SS-BONG!!!!
dammit! alright, give it to me anyway. i’ll just cut the R off and have a homemade Dio sticker. sweet.
Klingon, please.
That was a command, wasn’t it Stone?
I love you too,
FekDirty HairyKen Shamrock. FUCK DUDE, I CANNOT GET AWAY FROM THAT FUCKER. YOU GOT TOO MANY ALTERS BRO!Yes, Nom. Context:
"Would you like paper or plastic, sir?"
"Klingon, please."
"Would you like the chicken or the fish tonight, sir?"
"Klingon, please."
Dude, is everybody sleeping or what?
Isn’t it enraging to you guys how there has yet to be a CotW, and last weeks nomination thread is now gone, so no one has any way to nominate all the funny things I’ve said? Yeah? Me too.
The sooner Lance realizes that the sole purpose of this site is to serve our egos, the better.
He should also serve us Eggos. In the morning.
I prefer Pop-Tarts. Is that OK or are Eggos our only option? I mean, I can eat Eggos, it’s just that Pop-Tarts make me happy. But not the fruity ones, those are for fags. Just the frosted chocolate and frosted vanilla. And maybe smores. That is all.
And so it’s agreed. Lance will cater to our egos with punctual COTW posts, and to our hunger with a nice continental breakfast.
We’re out of half and half, by the way.
Does anyone actually toast their Pop Tarts?
Toasting Pop-Tarts is for taq’kegh vermin without honor. True warriors eat their Pop-Tarts as they eat their gagh, room temperature and squirming.
Stone Soup @ 11:10 deserves a HUGE nomination. Don’t forget.
Is 11:18 AM too early to start drinking?
Fuck, is my inner Star Trek geek coming out in my previous comment. I swear to God I though I’d killed that dipshit.
I prefer to leave the Pop Tart in its foil wrapper and drop it into a pot of boiling water. I let it cook for about 7 minutes. Then, I turn off the heat and let the water cool to 108 degrees. When it’s reached the target temperature, I scoop out the pop tart with a slotted spoon, open up the wrapper, and eat it. I know they’re not the healtyiest breakfast, but they’re so convenient.
Glen is the Martha Stewart of pop tarts.
it’s 12:18 for those crazy eastern-maine-iacs, lala…probably wouldn’t hurt to drink to those frozen bastards…
The real Glen would have probably spelled ‘healthiest’ correctly.
LoL @ Glen. BTW, LoL is leet speak for "Laugh out Loud". Figured I be nice and tell you all that, since you clearly aren’t one of us "elite". I’m a nice guy like that.
To me, Glen is a lot like Hank Hill. Only a lot more assinine.
Is 11:18 am too early to stop drinking?
See I think of Glen as the voice over guy for 1950s public service announcements and health class videos, just with more trivial knowledge.
Beer?
It’s 8 a.m.
Scotch?
Cider.
Lance is posting at WWTDD instead of making our CotW.
I say we kill him.
I like cider because I can pretend that I’m getting one of my daily fruits and vegetables eachtime I twist a cap off.
i say we stomp ‘im!
then we hang ‘im!
then we gut ‘im!
and THEN we kille ‘im!
Here’s the deal guys: Either I or our tech guy accidentally deleted the comments nomination thread, so I can’t do a COTW this week. And I can’t date a post to 2008 yet, so a new nomination thread is going to have to wait. Sorry.
uh…’kill him’ that is…
yeah, agreed. ‘kill him’ it is.
I had like 6 noms. Ah well. Guess I’ll just work ony my short story. How’s this for a 1st sentence:
Josh awoke in the middle of the night with his stomach full of Christmas pudding and his right leg dead asleep.
-y
The Mighty Fek’lhr sees it one of two ways. Since Lance Mangina failed in his Sacred Duty to perform CotW for us, he:
i don’t know, erswi, that whole ‘somebody deleted a thread with the inter-mo-net wide web thingy’ sounds pretty plausible…
What’s an "X-mas pudding"?
[www.filmdrunk.com]
KotW
I guess it’s plausible if you say it is bne. I don’t really know anything about this interweb mumbo-jumbo anyway. For all I know you people are just figments of my imagination living in the screen thingy. Hello? Little fellas? You in there?
::erswi taps glass on monitor::
fishy fishy fishy fish fish!
erswi:
[www.deliaonline.com]
That’s the recipe we used erswi.
Here’s the deal guys: Either I or our tech guy accidentally deleted the comments nomination thread, so I can’t do a COTW this week. And I can’t date a post to 2008 yet, so a new nomination thread is going to have to wait. Sorry.
But Laaaannnncccccce, we neeeeeeeed validating!!!!!1!!!1!11!!!11!!1 We’re worthless without your validation!!1!1!!1!!!1
lance mentioned in an earlier post about reading screenplays for movies that will never get made; maybe LaLa‘s short story can be one of those. we could all contribute a sentence…
It’s already a page long bne…
wow, i’m not sure if that looks appetizing or not. i didn’t recognize half of the ingredients listed.
i’m sure i am not the only one that would be interested in reading it….fellas?
Maybe when I’ve finished it. We’ll see.
this is where everyone is supposed to look uncomfortable and cough and look away like the people in the ‘heritage club’ when eddie murphy asks ‘is there a lawyer in the house?’ in trading places…
I for one, commend Lance for both informing us in a timely manner, and for deciding that it would be a good christmas gift for you guys to, instead of letting nominus win again with all of the amazing comments he made, not do a CotW so as to not rub in everyones face that, once again, nominus kicked all of your asses. And really, there was so much of my stuff on that nomination thread that was flat out brilliant, it would be futile for him to even attempt to rank them from best to less-best.
I’m going to go have christmas pudding and a tea. I’ll just pretend I won everything. Computer problems = lalala’s triumph.
Me solly, me love you long time.
Will you take more info on man-eating tigers in penance?
[www.sfgate.com];
Computer problems = Lance new it was a bad idea to give me Administrator Privledges.
Yeah, I didnt loose this week !
He also new it was a bad idea to trust me to not leave out required "k"’s
and ‘i’s
wait, take away an o. I am not loose this week. or ever, by the way. unless you count morals. oh damn
The Cloverfield Monster is…….. the U.S. Government.
Cloverfield is the name of the Top Secret BlackOp initiated in order to finally bring the world under military rule. It will be a dark day indeed.
The falling of the Statue of LIBERTY symbolizes this..
I hope tha they never show the monster, because it will suck even harder once they show it in the movie. but, its jj abrams, or however you spell it
[s221.photobucket.com] VIDEO of said monster..
[i223.photobucket.com]
shit, it does look like the crab whale.
empty seamonkeys packet :(
i am now sucked in, thanks RD
What if I told you that I kept a screen shot of the COTW Nomination pages? Haha!
I don’t, but wouldn’t that be awesome?
The concept seems lame, and the whole Viral campaign bullshit to generate hype will probably make for respectable opening weekend #s, but will quickly drop off the radar once word of mouth gets around.
I’ll admit I have been planning on going just to see if it lives up to the hype, effictively becoming part of said hype.
Now that I’ve seen the ‘monster’.. pass.
Japanese men in rubber Godzilla suits > *
gojira!
RAGE AGAINST BEIGE!
I can read russian, and the last line says: MONSTRO
Is it going by a different title in Russia, and if so – does this hint that the monster actually is whale inspired like the Monstro from Pinnochio? Because Monster in russian does not translate to Monstro.