Some Korean dude (Byeong-Heon Lee) and some hot chick (Rachel Nichols, pictured) will play Storm Shadow and Shana "Scarlett" O’Hara in Stephen Sommers’ upcomng GI Joe adaptation, joining the previously cast Ray Park and Sienna Miller.
So far, the best thing I can say about this is that the Korean dude’s first name sounds a lot like Dave Chappelle’s Howard Dean impression (video after jump). Byah!
Because other than that, it’s still a bad idea directed by the guy who did Van Helsing – a guy who I wouldn’t hire as a wedding photographer. I know movie execs don’t read, but don’t they at least watch movies?
Look, I just think some people are qualified to be filmmakers and other people are qualified to be ground up and fed to starving African children. I guess I’m just old-fashioned like that.
PETIT UPDATE: As reader Jacktion! so helpfully points out, Rachel here’s been photographed kinda sorta naked before.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/257/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Snake-Eyes-Shark-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/03/Fox-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2011/08/gi_Joe_Willis-150x150.jpg)
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I used to date that chick!
While the country’s at war (or extended death by random homemade bombs) do you really need a stupid movie like this. I’m insulted at multiple levels. Especially aesthetically though.
and by date, Jack means fapping wildly to pictures of her
And these are those pictures:
[tinyurl.com]
Thank you for the set up, Eib.
I love glorified violence and patriotism! Just in time for the new election!! woohoo… grrr
What kind of a picture is that? Chicks only look hot squatting down ALL THE WAY. It looks like she’s trying to pee standing up, which I’ve devised that most chicks have tried at least once or twice. Quit pissing on the seat, bitches!
Dammit! I have aided the Eveel one in his prankster ways! Curse thee!!
Love the Chappelle reference…man I miss that show.
true story: my best friend when i was 7 could pee standing up. her name was Velber. that is a real name, she was named after her grandmother
Most of my friends can pee standing up.
Unless theres a part in the film when a gigantic kid dumps acetone on one Joe and sparks him up, then shoves a M-80 between the legs of another and destroys it, all the while crying and screaming, "That’s what will happen to you if you kiss my bathing suit parts again, Aunt Fiddler!" Then this film will have no chance of damaging my childhood memories.
but they are all trannys or guys. this is different
She is so hot, I would even look at her G.I. tract.
Hi-yo!
Technically everyone can pee standing up (except the cripples), just that over half the population ends up getting piss all down their legs.
no really, she had aim
I know lots of girls that pee standing up. Although they are usually straddling my naked body while I’m lying in a bathtub…
Wait, what?!
GRRRR GOLDEN SHOWERS!!!
I measure the distance of my urination in yards. My dad used to show me off to his friends, "Look how far this little fucker can piss!" It was how we bonded.
But the question you’re all asking is, who will play Gung Ho?
I’m liking talking dirty with my new avatar. I think I come across as a more believable and sinister pervert, rather than a raving mad pervert…
But the question you’re all asking is, who will play Gung Ho?
Britney Spears?
BS, Lazytown forever!!
Crapbasket – I once peed 80 feet.
Straight down off the top of my old office building.
Any guesses why I’mnot working there anymore?
If you guessed "theft of office supplies", you’re right!
Captain. Aslan, <eyebrow goes up> is on the move.
Or however the fuck you spell her name. Whatever. Like you’ve never misspeled anything in your life. Goddamnit!!
GRRRR….firefox’s assclown of a spellchecker!!!
The spellchecking works for me on everysite BUT THIS ONE. And this is the site where I try to seem all smart n shit. WTF lance, is this some kind of joke that you forgot about? Fix it damn you!
JesusChristo: you spelled it right. don’t even try to deny that you’ve got fatty’s name added to your personal dictionary spellchecker thingy…
True Story: When I lived in Australia, I made friends by betting a group of (drunk) dudes I could legibly piss my name on a building about 200 yards away. I won.
True dat, Eib. I’ve missed you Laztown bastards.
Lance Martini: Drunkeness of a Long-Distance Pee-er
I used to try to pee standing up when I was little. I probably failed. I was a weird little girl.
Did someone say rape? take a number, take a seat!
New post!
Yingtahs!
PETIT UPDATE: As reader Jacktion! so helpfully points out, Rachel here’s been photographed kinda sorta naked before.
Finally, the acknowledgement I’ve craved from my father for so long!
Lance, will you be my new daddy?
The only thing is, if Zarana isn’t in this movie, who will Ship-Wreck, Roadblock, Mutt, Dr. Mindbender, Barbecue, Sci-Fi, Tomax, Xamot, Golobulus, Sgt. Slaughter, Low-Light, First-Aid, Dusty, Major Bludd,
Karl Hungus, Frostbite, Snowjob, Stalker, Crimson Gaurd Commando, Nemesis Enforcer, Mad Dog, Wild Bill, Spirit, Doc, Leatherneck, Outback, Chuckles, Tunnel-Rat, and Law have sex with?Needless to say, I had a lot more boy GI Joes than girl GI Joes. Jinx, Zarana, and Baroness saw a lot of fucking action.