Robert Duvall has been cast alongside Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon in Four Christmases. A movie in which “a couple struggle[s] to visit all four of their divorced parents on Christmas Day.”
That’s right, Vince Vaughn is doing another Christmas movie. Hey, I like Vince Vaughn. He’s got that Bill Murray quality going for him where he can even look good in a crappy movie, like Made or The Break Up. But dude, Christmas movies? Has there ever been a good Christmas movie? Nothing can make elf ninjas work. Especially not campy elf slapstick (okay, hyperealistic elf gore might work). Doing Christmas movies is like starring opposite a monkey, or someone from Blue Collar Comedy.
Ask yourself this, Vaughn: do you want to become Tim Allen? Even my neighbor Phil the dyslexic burn victim* would kill himself if he woke up as Tim Allen.
*Who has a terrible sense of humor, btw. Seriously man, get over yourself.
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FIST! Hey, it’s funny here, too!
Elf? Thought that ok for a Christmas movie.
The Mighty Fek’lhr hopes they leave out the scene where Vince watches Santa undressing through a hole in the parlour wall and spanks it feverishly.
Nothing can make elf ninjas work. Especially not campy elf slapstick (okay, hyperealistic elf gore might work).
Like when the Uruk-Hai kill Haldir? :(
My favorite Christmas movie is "The Passion of the Christ".
Santa: Hey Jews, what do you want for Christmas?
Jews: A Dead son of God
Santa: Done and done.
Jews: Now lets make up up our own holiday. We will call it hanukkah.
Santa: Whatever, I’m gonna go fuck one of my reindeer.
THE END
You can throw in your own preposition there. Jesus, i think the syphillis is playing up again.
Well at least this Christmas movie takes place in the real world, not the fantasy world! Like Santa has a brother, not believable at all. Everyone knows he doesn’t have a brother. right? hello?
BTW, I still watch A Christmas Story about 20 of the 24 hours TBS plays it on Christmas Day.
Jingle All The Way is tremendous.
I’d rather see multiple remakes of "Silent Night, Deadly Night".
The Mighty Fek’lhr prefers to watch Predator or Commando
on Christmas.Let us not forget Bill "Goldberg" Goldberg in "Santa’s Slay"!
The best and only good Christmas Movie? Easy.
Die Hard.
Sicksauce – I am crying here, and trying very hard not to make too much noise. If the real Glen hears me laughing this hard, he’ll walk over here and want me to show him what’s so funny.
Nominated.
There’s not enough black Christmas movies…wait, was that yesterday?
i’d love to know who was behind the idea for putting ludacris (ludacris’ head?) into this shit-stew:
INT. BOARDROOM – DAY
PRESDIENT OF COMPANY: "…and Anderson, what idea did you have for this faggot-fest of a flick we call ‘fred claus’ ? "
ANDERSON: "well sir…if there’s one thing i know, it’s that black people love christmas! so i was thinking that if we could somehow write the rap artist ludacris into the script, it would be a great move…"
PRESIDENT OF COMPANY: *blank stare*
ANDERSON: "…or like if we spent all this fucking oney to CG his goddamn head onto one of the elves, and spent all the time and effort in post, because if you think about it: who the fuck has ever seen a black elf??? :
The entire boardroom erupts in applause.
PRESIDENT OF COMPANY: *pull out a glock* " Great fucking idea Anderson! Congratulations – you’re the new president of the company!" *sticks gun in his own mouth and pulls the trigger*
Wait, what about that Christmas movie coming out with Regina King, Delroy Lindo and Mekhi Phifer. That looks pretty good. I think it’s called Black Christmas.
f.y.i. – i refuse to apologize for any and all misspellings i’ve committed.
*chodin taps his forehead, heart, left and right – gets up and leaves the church*
I thought Christmas Vacation was alright
National Lampoon’s: Christmas Vacation is great.
Wasn’t bad but not really good either Nom.
It’s A Wonderful Life, followed by a super violent movie. It’s my Christmas Eve tradition. I’m thinking Sin City this year. Last year it was Resservoir Dogs. Then we went to Midnight Mass, but we had to leave because my Mum started having a hot flash in the middle of service. Way to ruin Christmas, you unfertile bitch.
-s
Rocky 4 they fight in russia on Christmas
I saw Jingle All the Way in theatre. I also saw Flinstones Viva Rock Vegas, Betovan’s Second, Celtic Pride and Deuce Bigalow in theatre. Wow, that’s 7.5 hours I’m going ro regret not having when I’m on my deathbed.
Ludacris? I thought that was Little Man.
I’m on pain killers so I’m allowed to make up words, use creative grammar and allowed to misspell antyhing. I want.
i thought ‘celtic pride’ added hours to your life?
fucking lying-ass, gypsy, street-vending, cocksucker!
anti-gravitational breasts- How many you got?
Yeah, but it’s in Russia so it’s not even a real holiday. Not like Protector of Motherland Day. That is always a wild party.
enough
What happen AGB? Did your boobies suddenly find gravity and you threw your back out?
aaaaannnnndddddd commence with the mom/throw back out jokes.
NEW POST -with that handsome fucking doctor we all love!
new post assholes
JHC‘s avatar looks like Libyans, and I hate Libyans.
"They found me…I don’t know how but they found me… run for it Marty!"
The only reason the Libyans didn’t crash into a manure truck is because they’d love it.
this poster looks like it’s for vince’s new movie: "my hat built entirely out of gay people".
Nothing can make elf ninjas work.
Two words: elf orgy. (Think Liv Tyler back when she was hot, pulling a train with the Riders of Rohan.)
Think Liv Tyler back when she was hot, pulling a train with the Riders of Rohan.
Is she not? Cuz if she’s not I’d still bang her non-fine ass until the fucking bed broke . . . through the floor . . . and that’s awkward cuz now I’m in my neighbor’s flat downstairs . . . and I’m still fucking Liv retarded . . . it’s too bad she already passed out 1/2 an hour ago.
Take it easy, Lance. Made wasn’t that bad. I wasn’t sure if I liked it the first time, but it got way better the second time I saw it. It was a whole lot better than The Breakup or Dodgeball. The only complaint I had was that Puff Daddy was brought on to read from note cards.
Give Favs some credit. The dude he got to play "Red Dragon" in Made went on to play an Irish gangster with a Scottish accent in The Departed: "Hi, mom, I’m not going to be home for supper" ; "WHERE WERE YE??? WHERE WERE YE???"
best chrismas movie??? Bad Santa. Why? Midgets getting punched in the balls, why else?
^ No way – the best Christmas movie was Emmet Otter’s Jug Band Christmas. Think about it : a battle of the bands… with a Jug Band? Kick Ass!!! I still think Emmet got ripped off by not winning, especially since he had his MOM singing.
Ooh, good point, Bad Santa was pretty kickass. But I would argue that it was great more because of gratuitous use of the word "buttfucking" than because or the midget nut punching.
what? why hasn’t the immortal planes trains and automobiles been mentioned? wait a minute was that thanksgiving? no im sure it was xmas as there was a lot of snow in the movie so ergo; it must be a xmas movie. I think. Damn, why did i have to do this. The anguish. Now its personal. I’ll have to double check this online which i should have done b4 i posted this. Adios amigos keep the dream alive. Or can some1 confirm this?
i’m gonna second (or third, or whatever, i don’t read ‘entire’ posts…) the christmas story nod.
only christmas movie i’ll ever willingly watch…
Even better Lance….midgets using the word "buttfucking" and I also like Billy Bob as a drunk because i am pretty sure he wasn’t "acting"