Here are some of the latest pictures from Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. The title, Johnny Depp, and Tim Burton tell you pretty much everything you need to know about this movie, other than that it’s a musical. Oh, and it has Sacha Baron Cohen (Ali G/Borat) in it.
This looks pretty cool, but since this is a musical, you never know. The fact that these pictures neither speak nor move gives Burton the same kind of advantage dead hookers have in the bedroom.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/257/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Tina-Amy-and-Sacha-on-Anchorman-2-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/new-lone-ranger-trailer-features-more-johnny-depp-in-a-bird-hat-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/the-minecraft-beetlejuice-roller-coaster-is-pretty-amazing-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/rolling-stone-used-an-awesome-picture-of-al-pacino-150x150.jpg)
BAH! Comments of the Week!
Can’t wait. Seriously. I want to see this.
‘Jersey Girl’ would’ve been so much more enjoyable had the daughter slit Affleck’s throat legit in their Sweeney Todd adaptation. Total Carrie ending.
can’t wait for all the hot topic shirts
Mmmm,,,Dead Hookers…Mmmm
Did you know there really is a Fleet Street in London? I didn’t believe it myself until I visited.
I’ve never seen Sweeney Todd, because Broadway is for Lance Bass and friends. Does the "plot" rip off that Looney Tunes episode where the black cat runs under a freshly painted fence and gets chased around by an amorous skunk? Because that’s what these pics look like. I’d pay to see a live-action version of that.
It’a about time that musical theatre was homogenized enough for global consumption.
It’s about time Jacktion(!) learned to use contractions.
Tim Burton live action movies are pretty much like watching someone make an amature film with their Emo Ken and Barbie dolls. Just change some outfits and a bit of scenery add a few musical numbers and its Sleepy Hollow all over again. We get it Tim, you are into goth emo and creepy and weird. Find a new shtick already.
Sugar Tits!
It’a boot clock that singing movies is fermented thoroughly for world dominiation.
Helena Bonham Carter looks convincingly as if she would put out for a 1/4 gram of meth and a bucket of chicken. . . nevermind the chicken.
Im with SS, I cant wait for this.
That’s not even Bill Fagerbakke!
did Depp sign a deal with the Devil, because even pasty white he is sex on a cracker
Tim Burton, Johnny Depp, Helena Boham Carter, Alan Rickman. This movie will rock.
Geez. At least get a deaf/mute Rob Lowe avatar to counter the M-O-O-N guy. Or
Craig T. NelsonJerry Van Dyke.Ummm, it’s all guys in here other than you Eib. So we’re gonna have to take your word on it. Speaking of crackers, are there any
coloredAfricnegroes that comment here regularly? Any brown people at all? Just curious cuz you all sound white in my head.wait eibmoz…did you say that you’re in the SS ? then you must know DB’s dead nazi mother, no?
Erswi, I know, but I cant help it
Drexl – Obviously, it seems that "Jacktion?" isn’t bright enough to figure that out on his/her own.
Helloooo? Klingon!
I really hope Depp gets an Oscar one day. When they started advertising "charlie and the chocolate factory" I was thinking he would get an Oscar for it. Then I saw the movie, and wanted to kill tim burton. But this year is the year. Wait, theres no black actor who is required to win by default this year, is there?
I am a Wolf Woman of the SS. Yeah, I killed her, it was fun. I made her into a lampshade, Cho, true story
im mexican so im kinda brown
all old people look and act the same anyway. er, i mean "Drexl - Obviously, it appears that "Jacktion!" is not intelligent enough to find it out on her/his own."
that’s cool bexxy. . . wait. . . you’re legal right? . . . cuz if not, i cannot hire you to converse with me on filmdrunk. . . fuckin IRS comin down hard.
sweeney todd is an anagram for "we need ds toy"…hmmmm, i think nintendo is somehow behind this shit? sick fuckers.
Depp’s acting range is limited to the his hairstyle range, so his likelihood of winning an Oscar will probably decrease as he gets older.
Eddie Murphy is the darkhorse in the oscar running for his role in Norbit, Nom.
Bill Fagerbakke was maybe in his late 30′s in this picture.
dark horse? racist
Actually chodin, it’s an anagram that says "we needs d’s toy". Like deez-nuts only toy.
oh im legal, it says so on my greencard, my real name is Fernando Valenzuela
drexl u r dead2me
fuckelsticks too many s’s
Bill Fagbukkake is a has been for the last 30 years in your picture.
chodin sayssweeney todd is an anagram for "we need ds toy"…hmmmm, i think nintendo is somehow behind this shit? sick fuckers.Note to self(or any nice do-gooder out there): Remember to post this in the comment of the week nominations, once the new thread shows up.
M-O-O-N they should remake The Stand, although Liutenant Dan really nailed it as Stu
i think i will make another personality
awwwww nom, if you want a pee-pee suck so bad, all you have to do is ask?! no flattery is necessary.
Jacktion?: What is it that you are hoping to accomplish but posing as the queerest commentator in the history of histories? Is it that you are a true admirer of his queerness? An homage? A fucking lack of jokes that aren’t fucking remakes, like hollywood?
Someone wanted their dick sucked and didn’t call me?
Fuck
mikeJacktion? !Jacktion? is from Oregon.
Guys…
Jacktion? was ME.
I wasn’t on the site much last week, so I thought this would be a good way to come back with a bang.
wow, you sucked 3 times in this post Jack. I bow down to your awesome suckage
I didn’t realize that you guys would get annoyed by it.
I think its funny how everyone gets so upset. It only mostly amuses me
Jacktion is from Oregon? Gee…I’M from Oregon too! We should get together and do some mutual
masturbation, er, body painting.I humbly apologize.
s’ok
Personally, I was having fun with it. Also it was great that rel-fuxx got blamed b/c of his own eagerness to please. That was wonderful.
true story: my friend and i pulled up to this stop light, and right on the corner just so happened to be an "old school" barbershop…only it was being run by a bunch of "new school" ghetto dudes. they were all sitting out front with their razors and buzzers, and when we pulled up to the stop light they approached our car and were like, "yo, you boys need a clean up." – only they weren’t ‘asking’ us, like they were ‘telling’ us. "um…no thanks" i said, but then he came at me with, "what, you like pussy don’t you? if i clean you up right now, i guarantee you get pussy tonight".
yeah, so pretty much i didn’t get "cleaned up"…and that tells you all you need to know about my stance on pussy.
homos.
Anyway, I’ve got to get going now. I have to go help move all the sets back to our storage area. I’ll see you all tomorrow.
wow, strong armed by rogue barbers. theres a movie for BET
Heres how pathetic I am, I actually had a dream about you guys.
YO – FUCK JACKTION?, I HATE YOU SO MUCH YOU FUCKING QUEER! STOP STEALING OTHER PEOPLE’S AVATA….huh…what’s that…oh, it was jacktion! ???
haha, oh good one! i totally wasn’t getting pissed off or anything. haha, everyone else looked like such dickheads. jesus christ, i’m so glad that i "kept it real" the whole time…haha, good one…haha….ha….h…..a….*weeping*ÂÂ
Jack!: It just goes to show you that a true CKTer will back up other ones til death. Yes, even the unbelievably queer ones. But now that we know it was you, this means we’ll have to get your back by beating your alter-ego(you) into a bloody pulp. My hands are tied, you fucked with one of my own. Or should I say "pwn"?
I know that barber shop — ‘Pussy’ is actually the name of the hunchback that sweeps the hair clippings off the floor. The hunch gives you great leverage and all, but it’s really not all I thought it would be.
Good call, Chodin.
yeah, sorry I got mad at you flux
Flux: It’s still all your fault.
so what was this dream eibmoz? double-vaginal, double-anal ??? DVDA ?
well, ya, but i was trying to be nice, momentarily. but, it felt weird, so Fuck YOu MIke
Somebody told me last week that Edward Scissorshands was their favorite Johnny Depp movie. Excuse me, but wasn’t that an Anthony Michael Hall vehicle?
All of the above. I woke up exhausted
CKT: hey sorry flux…
flux: *wind blowing, accompanied with the sound of a noose swinging with something heavy ganging from it*
CKT: …flux?
not a vehicle, but it was sort of a comeback at the time
f.y.i. "ganging" is the new "hanging" this season.
For those of you that don’t know, chodin has decided to compress gang-banging into ganging. So basically, flux is dead while a gang-bang is performed with his arms and legs.
FYI – gagging is the new bragging.
JHC – i love how you know me inside and out…
…and "yes" that was a gay reference.
Yes, ganging, as opposed to what Eib did in her dream last night, which was Bang-Ganging. Ummm, okay, that sounded stupid. Call my lawyer.
chod- did you and dub work out this weekend? or did you give him too much ghb in his protein drink? that fucker dropped off the ass of bryce’s granny.
that was a gay reference as well.
you guys were gay in my dream too.
I love teabags. That was not a gay reference. Teabags are a wonderful invention whereby I am allowed to infuse water with leafy goodness w/o fiddling with a pesky metal ball and or that little double spoon contraption.
Perverts
at least thats what you said, you know, to get more anal
well me and dub worked out (super fucking hard-core) and then i was all like "alright, well i’m gonna’ go home and jack off to 300 on VHS, you cumming…he-he…you coming?" and then he was all like, " know what? i’m gonna’ stay here and BTK these weights a little longer."
and that was the last i heard from him?
shit…now i’m starting to worry.
Sure Erswi pleaseletmegetacotw ivebeennominated3weeksinarowwithnorecognition
sure its not
I like to NSF the weights at my gym. And by weights I mean checks. And by gym I mean bank. Cuz only fags work out.
Chod: You’re not a very reliable work out partner or spotter are you? Right now dub is stuck under his olympic weight set, hoping someone shows up soon. Much like my great-grandma when she fell behind the TV and broke her hip. 4 days before someone showed up. That would suck.
What the fuck was your great-grammy doing climbing on the TV in the first place Nom? Are you related to bryce?
Not to make light of a terrible situation Nom, but what kind of tv was it? High-Def? Does she still have it? More importantly, how much for it?
true storie: old people do weird shit
and i can spell story however i want, dammit
and this avatar makes almost everything I say stranger and creepier
and sexier. . . rowrrr. . .
nom, i’ll let you kno:ÂÂ
i’m a GREAT spotterÂÂ
a so-so pianistÂÂ
and i hope someday to be a terrible step-fatherÂÂ
My avatar makes everything I say sticky and full of mustard. . . and OD’d on heroin.
fucking-A…."kno" is the new "i’m a fucking retard" this season.
Sid, wheres my wake up drugs?
My avatar is pretty dull, huh?
hey, i’m gonna’ be super manly here and stay on topic by asking:
has ‘call of duty 4′ on sex-box live, ruined anyone elses life?
My avatar makes everything I say allright with the Big Guy. And by Big Guy I mean my penis. And by big I mean below average. For the record, I’ve never had a woman tell me it was too small. A few guys, but never a woman.
dammit. I am actually having to bust my ass at work today and every time I get a chance to post, what I was going to say now has no relevance.
wlcome to fimdrunk koru…most never make it out alive.
DRUNK on.
Never stops me, Koru.
Dont feel bad Ko, thats what happens to me everyday
If you’re gonna post something in reference to small penisi (isn’t that plural?), fire away Koru.
Just another plot by the man to keep the sistas from reading
H.N.I.C.
No chodey, but Gwitar Heroo Tres is threatening to ruin my marriage.
Eib – Up your ass!
sorry really. it’s the only quote i really remember from S&N other than when she says her parents told her they’d spend any money sent on drug and sid goes "we would" all fuckin deadpan. brilliant.
This chick told me my dick was like a peanut. I said "Why, is it small?" and she said "No, salty".
My great grandma’s TV was the old, floor standing type. So there was little knick-knacks on it, and one fell behind the TV, and she was trying to reach it. And it was a long time ago. Shit, she’s been dead for at least 15 years. But thank you guys for bringing up such a painful subject. Pricks.
i have known men with small dicks. you throw back the little ones though
hey, I like small penises, they make
analoral sex easier.ROFL at Nom’s great-gran ROF.
GHIII‘s music selection isn’t nearly as good as on deuce. One is a nice touch but for fuck’s sake, the song you try to play during the credits is a bitch and longer that Thanksgiving dinner with the in-laws.
So it’s probably been sold then?…..
jokerswild: i feel ya’ brotha’ (again, another SUPER AIDS gay reference).
and nom: fuck your gran…um…FUCK MIKE!
What’s S&N? I know JWiaDH was quoting Lean on Me. What’s everyone else quoting, so I can help make Koru more uncomfortable when she finally works up the nerve to post an on-topic comment?
sid and nancy.
hey Koru, about your last comment. . . call me
longer than thanksgiving….
christ’s sake I can’t fucking type
alrighty erswi.
and I thought penises were always on topic?
Thanks Chod. Who are Sid and Nancy?
i once took my small penis to the edge of the world and tried to throw it back…
WHy does it have to be the one fucking week I had three fucking nominations that CotW is taking all fucking day to go up????
I’ll have you know, Joker, that I am the easiest guy to give a blowjob to in the entire hemisphere. Jealous much?
WTF is Lean on Me? That shit really happened. Here-have a peanut.
wanna know a secret?
I think Alan Rickman is sexy. and I don’t know why.
Yeah, eib asked me a question from Sid and Nancy b/c of my vicious avatar. And of course like a jackass I couldn’t remember the answer to that question so I just freestyled it with whatever came to mind.
I really gotta stop doing that at work. . . ‘what’s the square footage on this apartment unit?’ . . . ‘ummm, South American feedom fighter Simon Bolivar?’
sid vicious from ‘the sex pistols’ ?
*cue guitars – ba-na-na-na-na-nah! ba-na-na-na-na-na-na-nah! i am an antichrist!*
me too Koru. I can trace it back to "Truly Madly Deeply"
I am an anarchist!
‘Don’t know what I want but I know hot to get it’
oh good Eib
I wanna dahstoaw possabrae!
If this Emmy Rossum ad keeps coming up on my sidebar I’m gonna have to go rub one out in the john @ work
again.dont get too excited Fek. I had 3 noms for 2 weeks and zip
Not that Im complaining, Lance, just talking over here
"Rub one out in the JOHN?" I hate that expression.
sorry Duke, from now on I will refer to it as the crapper. sexy
so amazing to me that men can do that anywhere
I bet T.H.E. John hates it more than you.
i have to buy myself dinner, get into a fight with myself, then coax myself into doing it with a promise of never getting angry like that again, baby
I prefer to rub one out ON John. Wait, what?
If this Emmy Rossum ad keeps coming up on my sidebar I’m gonna have to go rub one out in the john @ work
again.And I was just about to offer you a job in our "Draw Pretty Pictures and Post on FilmDrunk" department. Now, the best you can hope for is a third chair* position in our "Talk to Glen and Jack It in the Bathroom" department.
*third chair does clean up
i have to catch myself cheating with another man before i can rub one out…GRRRRRR PARKINSON’S DISEASE!!!!
It’s way off topic for this thread, but Eib, that one is going into this week’s COW nomination bin. That was hilarious.
thank you JHC
amazing to me that men can do that anywhere
Fuck, sometimes it happens without trying…
wow, penises are sometimes mysterious creatures
what is with all this on topic references???
I come to filmdrunk precisely for the lack of restrictions. I have to have lack of restrictions SOMEwhere in my life.
Hey I can still draw pretty pictures while jackin in the
johncrapper. I’m a regular Jackin Pollock in there.now someone needs to do a Jackin! alias
Just got back from lunch and…. Jacktion? was Jacktion! ? I accept all of your apologies, and I apologize myself for painting myself into a corner.
Also to catch up. I have a small penis as well. Someone’s gotta keep the curve down….no ladies, it’s not curved as well. Seriously, what’s the deal with curved penises?
And are we all ganging John Wayne in a Devo Hat now?
Erswi, if its different colors you may want to have that looked at
flux: we thought you were dead and being ganged.
glad you’re alright.
While I was asleeep this site became one big gay joke. (6" btw)
that happened long ago, Rex
It’s cool Eib. It’s all one color. . . green. . . that’s good right?
uh, not so much erswi
so, how many pages will we do today?
Curved penis’ are inferior because, in order to have a curve, it has to be long. Too long if you ask me.
Hmm, well, maybe I will get that checked out. Right after my afternoon trip to the
johncrapper. Fuck this is gonna beharddifficult Duke. You know any other catch names for it?Eib? How many pages will we do today? What is this, the United States Congress? United States Sexual Congress.
Curved penii (?) are only long on one side.
Green is a very Christmasy color, though, erswi. Put a star on top of it and display it by one of them there nativity scenes.
The "louve" always inspires romantic thoughts for me, erswi.
Great idea duke, now if I could only get it into the Xmas tree template I stole from the kid down the block’s coloring kit. Don’t ask.
I do know that the plural form of Phalluses is Phalli. And now you know too. Sucks to be you, cuz I just made that up.
Nom, what’s "louve"??
do you mean the museum?
I think thats how it’s spelled Koru. I hear teh British say it in reference to the bathroom. It’s pronounced like "Lou".
oh.. the Loo.
I once
had wild sexdated a brit.Nominus says Curved penis’ are inferior because, in order to have a curve, it has to be long. Too long if you ask me. Just like taking a shit.
i like to call toilet’s: "my ex-girlfriend’s mouth".
…and i don’t know why i felt the need to throw an apostrophe into "toilets"…looked fucking cool though, huh?
Is that why you chodin off into every john wayne in a devo hat you see?
sweet: i always wanted my name to refer back to "slobbing the milosavich".
f.y.i. – i watched ‘evil dead’ uno and dos this weekend…flux, your avatar was GREAT.
Man. It is hard to believe the types of debates that can be started here just by an innocent comment about Emmy Rossum making me go pound it out in the
johncrapperlouve.BTW, I’m done now if anyone else needs to get in there.
It stinks like sex in here.
wasn’t evil dead 2 basically a remake of evil dead?
basically DB’s mother is a dead nazi.
Speaking of rubbing one off, if you get the newest issue of "Naughty Neighbors", it comes with a free dvd called "Home-Schooled Girls". I can’t wait to get home!
no Nom. and i just was noticing the amount of comments, thats all
That’s funny Eib cuz i was noticing the amount of comments of the week. Know how many I counted? Zero.
For the ladies (both of them). How the hell do I get my wife to give me head like a porn-star? If someone says just ask her to do it like a porn-star, so help me I’ll kill my dad for not telling me that’s what you’re supposed to do.
You say your wife JHC? As in holy matrimony? As in ‘I do’?
Good fuckin luck with that one buddy. Call me when you figure it out.
Just ask her to do it like a porn-star, and then show her a video as an example.
How about, "How the hell do I get get my wife to let go of her vise-like grip in her thighs that keeps her knees locked together for weeks at a time?" If chodin hadn’t have posted about the fifi, I may not have made it through the fucking weekend!
-Fek’lhr:0
-icy cold cunt of rejection:1
She actually does it quite often erswi. Honestly. She’s just not that good at it and I REALLY don’t want to tell her she isn’t very good at it and have her stop completely.
-Fek’lhr:0
-icy cold cunt of rejection:1
- fifi: +5
This is a warning to all who are not wed: The myth that sex vanishes after marriage is no myth at all. Shortly before marriage: sex 2-3 times per week (sometimes twice daily!), sex after marriage averaging about once a fucking month.
I love my wife a lot, but if she doesn’t start putting out I am going to kill her and rape her corpse.
Shit jeezy, my wife does it hardly at all but she is pretty good at it. Maybe we could get them together to compare notes and you’ll get better head and I’ll get frequent head and world peace will prevail.
JHC, I seem to remember a segment on Real Sex where this chick has parties to show how to give head. Maybe you could do that?
I for one, don’t need it. I have a tongue ring.
Um, I am a wife, and I like to do it. Honestly, just kind of guide her and let her know what you like. I have a friend who told me she didnt have to give head because she was married. wow, I like to give head. its fun.
Fek, I get sex pretty much whenever I want (yes esp on the rag cuz she get real horny (for a woman, average horny for a guy) when she’s flowin), I just need to know how to get her to shut up and open her mouth every now and then. I didn’t even get a birthday beej for the last 2 years. That fuckin blows (or doesn’t).
That’s the thing I don’t get! When my wife and I do have sex, it’s fucking great!!! I made her cum so hard once she fell off the fucking bed. (That’s why I normally tie her down now…hehehehe…) AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! Fuck! What in hell do I have to do???
JHC it’s easy, you just say: "hey bitch *finger snap* standing 69 – right here, right now".
and then you "do".
I think the party idea would work, but having never done it, I think I would be a terrible teacher.
tongue ring? I used to say there was only one reason a girl got that piercing: her girlfriend.
I always imagined it would get in the way
I’ll be fucking fifi for my birthday in a few weeks. Oh, and I am going grey, too! 31 looks to be awesome…
Hey, did you guys know that Johnny Depp is playing Sweeney Todd in the new Tim Burton adaptation?
for some reason i feel "gayer" when we talk about straight sex on here…
marriage is all about the free sex, I think, but I have a guys libido. Ive asked actual guys, and thats the consensus
I saw that episode of Real Sex. There was some chick that looked like Buck Owens deepthroating a rubber dick and jerking on it like she was trying to tear a phone book in half.ÂÂ
Nah, I enjoy giving head too, but it’s not the reason I got it.
I’m not one of those who flaunts mine, you can hardly tell it’s there unless I make a point to show it.
As for the girlfriend thing, *guys with lesbian fantasies, don’t read* my best friend and her gf don’t have oral sex, neither of them like it, but they DO have a lot of sex.
OK then, FUCK MIKE!!
Fek’lhr, have you tried the old making dinner and putting down a table cloth and lighting 3 candles trick? You can probably use that one at least once a month.
I get head pretty regularly, but probably similar to JHC, I think she needs improvement. It’s like she has stopped trying to improve her game. Also, Koru, Tongue rings alone aren’t enough. Also, all those people that rave about poprocks: You are stupid, that doesn’t really do shit for me. But maybe I’ve just had too many blowjobs and am now chasing the dragon. It’s a girl dragon BTW.
fek – don’t worry buddy, from what i hear: a fifi is all one needs.
really, mmm, interesting
Nom, is it a hot girl dragon? What color dragon? What’s she wearing? Tell her to call me.
Fek’lhr, have you tried the old making dinner and putting down a table cloth and lighting 3 candles trick?
Fuck, I have done shit that in the past would guarantee me a week solid of sex that isn’t even getting me a handjob these days. Well, it’s nothing a violent raging death can’t fix!
Another one is just as you walk in the door from work, look into her eyes and say, "Baby, I’ve missed you so much." And then kiss her and fuck her. They love that spontaneous stuff, and they love to be missed.
Nom, my tongue ring is only an extra added bonus to my fellacio skills.
My wife and I had sex once.
wow, flux, you got it down
If I put a rubber band on the end of
mya fifi, would that be like anal?I think, once again, Lance procrastinated in composing his COW thread. Really, how long does it take to pick out the best comments of a list of 80 or so? Here’s a tip: Pick out the ones that start with "Nominus says", give them the first 4 spots, then, I dunno, find some comments that are funny, but not as funny as the ones that start with "Nominus says"
but, pretty much, my husband gets it all the time, he doesnt have to trick me. I hope he’s not complaining about my oral skills though. I would be sad. Now I have a mission,and I am sure he will thankyou all later
Yet another one is to go into the freezer and say "Hey honey, what do you feel like eating tonight?" Then take out some frozen meat and smack her in the head so she’s unconscious. Then drag her into the basement, chain her to the wall and fuck her. That one always works. The make up sex after the inevitable fight is even better.
Yeah, Koru, I figured that out after I posted my long ass comment. I really should hit refresh more often. Do you guys ever get that "not so refreshed feeling"?
There ya go Eib. Way to determine to improve yourself through rigorous oral sex workouts. Blow him once for us. Actually blow him once and think of us. That way it’s kinda like you’re blowing us.
Yeah, I stand by everything I just said.
i get all the ladies, whenever and wherever i want them. "how" you ask? simple…
INT. BAR – NIGHT
chodin: hey…
woman: hey…
chodin: i’m gonna’ BTK you.
woman wha- *SMACK*
*dragging SFX followed by car trunk opening*
works 100 percent, 50 percent of the time.
Thanks, Eibmoz. I read a lot of cosmo.
Also, since when are you female? This is news to me.
Dude, flux, that news is almost as old as when we discovered that bryce’s gran is a ho. fo sho.
I stand by what Joker said too. Only mine isn’t as curvy, so it’s prettier. And you all know how women love pretty things.
What’d I say? Where am I? Who are you people in my head?
Anyone checked out the main page lately? WTF is Lance doing?
Why did doommoss change the order of the posts again? Fag.
Dunno, I got excited when I checked the index page cuz I thought COW was out. Then I’m like, WTF? Get it together bro.
I think he’s making room, erswi. Making room for my 4 COW’s. They are so epic, they actually take up physical space in the electronic world.
Really Flux? I thought everyone knew. Well, the CKT does at least
HAH! PWNED! WAY TO TELL HIM EIB! HE IS NOT WELCOME AT THIS TABLE!
CKT, where having a vagina is the best part.
I put a little ribbon on my cock to dress it up a little. It loves to be pretty. Sometimes it likes to wear lipstick.
Ok, so true story time. I’m at my new girlfriend’s Christmas party last year and I don’t know anyone there. I ended up having a conversation with her cousin’s friend that he apparently "doesn’t know that well." Anyway, so we’re talking and he’s trying to convince me that my girlfriend and I should come over for a dinner party. So I’m just making small talk with the guy back and forth and he keeps pestering me about coming over and I’m quite aware that he wants it to be some sort of sexual gathering, and I’m just not buying it. So he asks if I want to see a picture of his girlfriend nude. Still trying to impress my new girlfriend, I declined and tried to change the subject, but he kept going back to it. So I said "Sure, show me a picture of your nude girlfriend." So he shows me on his phone a picture of his cock with a little red ribbon wrapped around it. You know, like it’s a present. And all I can think about is that he wouldn’t have that on his phone unless it worked at least some of the time.
Yes it is. What? Dammit! I want a vagina. (not on me fuckers, i want one to bang)
Its true Koru. And breasts, big ones.
Hey, I’m new here, what do you expect?
Also, since it’s obvious I’m new, what does CKT mean? Cool Kids Table?
nah that’s not it at all. it means . . . ummm. . . it means. . . cancerous killer tumor. . . yeah that’s it.
shit. We’ve been made. Run away! Run away!
I didnt realize how new you were Flux
I didnt realize how new you were Flux
i really meant that.. CKT is just our little name for Mensa
Ha! Eib just got Double Punned!
thats how i likes it Nom
Hey! I’m a member of Mensa too! Small world, eh Eib? Or, I mean, uh, yeah, our chapter of mensa. Umm… GRRRRR….generic GRRRR comment.
Ya know, if only there was a place where we could nominate funny stuff for an award for this week, Nommy’s GRRRRR….generic GRRRR comment would definitely be on the list for me.
Yeah, I always get screwed like that. It’s how I roll.
I’ll have to hold onto that one until such a place is discovered.
yes, I have seen several comments that I would like to nominate.. too bad there isn’t a place to do so….
mmmmbbblllmmllmllg *smacks Lance’s dick out of mouth*
look, the guys are getting restless, go post the COTW thread for fucktard’s sake. I’ll finish you later, okay babe?
Chances are, over time, they will be forgotten and won’t go down in history like rudolph. They’ll go down in history like that ugly chick. In history class. Ugly girls are like hookers, only free.
Some hookers are free. . . dead hookers.
and its full circle
Can anyone tell me why Lance is working on a Fred Claus post when he knows what we really want today? GODDAMMITALLTOHELL!!
Because we are the slaves and he is our Master, and Master likes to punish us
Dammit, my muthafuckin name is Kunta Kinte! Bitch!
^now that sounds a little more like the dream I had.
Oh Koru, we are so alike
Kunta Kinte or master and servant? You know which one I’m betting on.
I think of FilmDrunk as my own personal Story of O
Story of O? Is this some chick thing I don’t know about? Did Danielle Steel write that?
no, she did not. i have never read any of that crap.
I know Eib… kindred spirits!
but it answers the question
INT. COMEDY CLUB, NIGHTTIME
Comedian: What’s the best way to give a woman a Big O(orgasm, dipshit)?
Crowd: What’s the best way?
Comedian: Who the fuck gives a shit?!? Not my problem.
I wrote that for you Koru, because I knew you would know.
wait, I am thouroughly confused now
You girls know what they say about Great Minds, right? They go over the edge and end up commiting crimes against humanity? No! Well, just that one time, but they were asking for it.
the Story of O is a great fuckin (pun totally intended) book, that is so far from generic white bread rated G Danielle Steele shit!
you know what book really got me? Exit to Eden. the movie was shite, but i have read that book about 5 times.
It says online that it was written by a Pauline Réage.
Hell yes! I love that book! I want the Sleeping Beauty Trilogy…
yes!!!!
Nom, don’t you mean "Great minds that think alike have hot lesbian sex and post the video on Filmdrunk.com?"
"O noticed that the nightgown was so sheer that her flesh turned it a pale pink."
What the hell is wrong with O‘s flesh that it chemically alters the composition of fabrics?
Did you read the book that 9 1\2 weeks was based on? It was intense
oh my, if they only knew the kind of sex we are talking about!
*off to change my myspace quote
he he secrets
Hey, I watched "Exit to Eden" (my dad and stepmom liked it, they had a cabin at a nudist colony. God I hate that place. Don’t ask) and for a movie that has Rosie O’donnel wearing lingerie it was pretty dissappointing.
yeah, that movie only shared a title with the book
Ummm, boy did I miss alot while dicking around on the Fred Claus thread. Serves me right.
True story; I told someone "the masochist says hit me and the sadist says no". They asked me if it was a Catholic thing
I think the fact that there is still no COW thread settles it. From now on, the great comments will only be honored by serving as inspiration for jokes on that other site. So, I guess that I’m the only one who got a COW this week. Yep.
yes, the book: mucho bettero.
Nominus, that means I got one, too, since I inspired the hermaphrodite post.
Okay fine. I didn’t think you were here still. But, people make hermaphrodite jokes all the time. Unless it was like yours more specifically, I think thats a bit of a stretch. There. I just love demeaning the accomplishments of others.
the masochist says hit me and the sadist says no
that’s golden. I have to remember that!
Ernest Razorfingers. HA! I just
readgot that.Because no one makes Mr. Owl references, especially in reference to fellatio.
Yes, exactly. I can’t think of the last time I heard anyone mention Mr. Owl. But, I was just kidding. I have to bring down others to make myself look and feel better.
Too late. I’m already crying, you mean man.
Too Late? I think not. I’m feeling better already!
c’mon guys, 13 more posts to 300. lets kick this pig.
can I post F*st 13 times? hehe
Once again, Nominus proves wrong all fundamental laws of space and time to help out his fellow drunkards in chooping up this post, mixing it with cut, and rerocking it to make it to 300.
Alright Drunkards that’s the spirit. Lets do th. . . Hey. . . where are you all going? I thought we were united on this. damn
I will only help you reach 300 posts if we do not get to post 301. Page seven is just fucking evil.
So I hear Johnny Depp plays a barber in this flick.
yeah, hair cutting guy. evil
I hear Alan Rickman is a total Dickman in this movie.
Oh man, I am on fire!
uh, yeah, hair cutting guy. revenge
come on, only a few more now, lets go
Cool, cool. What’s the count now. Are we on page Se7in yet. Get it? Cuz it’s a movie blog! I fuckin kill me.
Aaaaand stop.
when did it become se7en officially?
Page se7en would sure fit for the sin of gluttony.
I got a haircut once. I asked for something short but instead ended up leaving with longer hair. I never went to that groomer again.
it officially became se7en when they accidentally turned the "v" sideways. Either that, or there are some clever fuckers in hollywood.
happy 300 homos!
ganging session at my house tonight?
whoo hoooo should i sneak in the window, the way you like it?
I’ll be under the bed. As usual. Also Eib, I think I fucking combined se7en and slevin there. Dunno what the fuck I’m smoking. But I know what I’ll be smoking tonight.
Yeah, you’ll be smoking cock! Wooo. Sorry, but you kinda lobbed that one right over the plate, erswi. Touchdown. God I’m witty, huh?
well, its usually referred to as se7en now, even though that was British title formally. here it was just seven
Ummm, no. I was thinking a fine Dominican cigar. Rolled for me by the guys at the Don Leoncio shop in downtown N.O.
hey guys…do you believe in God?
how do you think we can save the environment?
can one person change the world?
it takes a village to raise a child, you know?
no, dont know, no, no
I believe in god, but not your god, or anyone idea of what "god" is. My version cannot be explained. But, if you want a summary, take a good look at me. This is why god made existence. Now you know, knowing half the burrito, so on.
sorry…i was listening to michael bolton and got curious.
It takes a child to raise my village, if you catch my drift. Hehe. I haven’t been this on fire since NBA Jam on the Genesis! I would school you.
ummm, chodin you forgot something. . . GRRR. . . SOUL PROVIDER????*
* I am happy to report that in preparing this comment, I was unable to come up with a Michael Bolton song and had to google it. I am sad to report that my internet search history now shows a hit for Michael Bolton albums.
no fuckin way nommy. i am an NBA Jam GOD!!
could you imagine ACTUALLY setting a basketball on fire and then slam dunking that shit?
really pretty scary.
My internet history shows
numerousa hitsfor "young man, older woman" and " a family that plays together, stays together".This momentous occasion could never have occured without me.
Is that the deaf guy from The Stand? … ok I take back what I said earlier. You have some taste, so far it’s miniscule, but there’s something to build on. If it isn’t The Stand, then I take back what I said in this post , and I revert to my previous comment.