A while ago, I brought you the strange, strange news that Sly Stallone was hoping to make an Edgar Allen Poe biopic, for which he also wrote the screenplay.
Today, CinemaBlend is reporting that some dude on the internet a reliable source has told them that Stallone offered the Poe part to Viggo Mortensen.
Damn, dude, besides this, Stallone’s also reportedly considering a Death Wish remake (awesome idea), another Rambo (not so much), a role in the upcoming Scorsese/LeHane picture (I’m with you again), and God knows what else. Plus he’s got his brother Frank to feed, and that ain’t cheap. It’s like he’s trying to be superman, or he’s all full of steroids or something. What? What’d I say? Where’s everyone going? I GOT PLENTY A ZINGERS WHERE THAT CAME FROM, A-HOLES!
Also, my friend Glen told me he read somewhere that Stallone’s actually kind of old. If you were wondering why the Edgar Allen Poe thing sounded familiar, it’s because the Scott brothers are also producing a screen adaptation of The Tell-Tale Heart, so the Edgar Allen Poe thing is kinda hot right now. In other news, your emo poems still suck. Quit threatening to kill yourself and just do it – but remember, Up the River not Across the Street.
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You know what would make this movie 10x more watchable? Jessica Biel nude scene.
He looks like he’s thinking "I’m gonna save a Panda!"
Viggo is the type of guy I’d go gay for.
What? Oh yeah, like you don’t have one? That mother fucker is beautiful. I could go gay with Viggo and still pretend he’s a woman he’s so pretty.
also, I am not gay.
You are Isildur’s heir, not Isildur himself.
The blade that was broken has been remade.
The final scene from A History of violence where he kills one of the henchmen by pressing his eyes into his brain til he kills him…so hot.
So, You’re Blade Brown!?
Stallone wrote a screenplay. Yeah, right.
To sign a check this guy needs 3 physical therapists manipulating his fingers, a team of experts coaching him on spelling, and one overtly gay sycophant clapping and cheering him on. Then when hes done, he smiles like a Special Olympian who just came in last in the 40 yard flap-your-arms-like-a-retard dash.
-Sheikh al-Gore
Don’t touch me, Frodo!
Gandlof Foogray
Bye bye!
The Mighty Fek’lhr cannot condone all of that ass Aragorn showed in Psycho. As if Vince Vaughn whacking it wasn’t enough!
Stallone wrote a screenplay. Yeah, right.
Yeah, homes, it’s called Rocky.
Viggo is ok, but I can’t stand his weasly minion Yanish. What’s with that accent, anyway?
Stallone wrote a screenplay. Yeah, right.
He wrote the original Rocky, too.
(haha, I know more than you (if I was right))
Ok I missed something…..Why does that fuckin white cat show up? Because it is just creepy.
The Mighty Fek’lhr thought Legolas was Arargorn’s weasly minion?
In soviet russia, stallone writes YOU
Damn, Lance beat me.
And, yes, I basically plan to spam this thread with low brow LOTR jokes.
Alright, yeah, Stallone wrote Rocky. But do we really wanna go back and dissect the dialogue from that movie? Keep in mind, I am a huge fan of Rocky, but we’re not talking Shakespeare here folks. Shit we’re not even talking Shakespeare’s Sister. What? I’m the only one here that remembers Shakespeare’s Sister?
I’d fuck Prince.
I like the idea of Stallone actually being a marionette and in order to perform any function he has to be manipulated by a tem of puppeteers or marionetteers(?). No one would begrudge them any bonus pay for whenever Sly has a mole at the counter.
Yes Steamin Willie Beamin. Yes. You did miss something.
It doesn’t mean he was great that he wrote Rocky, it only means he can hold a pen …. or a crayon. They didn’t have typewriters back then did they?
Um, Stallone wrote (at least the screenplay) for almost every major movie he has been in!
team, but you knew that; i hope you did, anyway.
Lance – you have a friend named Glen? My name’s Glen! Small world!
Um, Stallone wrote (at least the screenplay) for almost every major movie he has been in!
Well, that explains Driven, stop or my mommy will shoot you, and Judge Dredd.
Stallone wrote (at least the screenplay) for almost every major movie he has been in!
Now we know. And knowledge is power.
Are you trying to tell me that Rocky wrote The Party at Kitty and Stud’s? B/c that is the most well written flick I’ve ever seen. I really empathized with the characters on a personal level. That’s the highest honor a writer can receive (from me).
Aragorn has a friend named Gimli!
Which include:
Yeah, I saw 22 writing credits for him on IMDB. Somewhere near 60 acting credits though. Still no word on if he wrote Kitty and Stud though.
HAH, STALLONE WROTE FIST! ROFLCOPTER!!
INCLUDING…….!
In his book, Joe Esterhaus (however the fuck you spell it) claims he wrote FIST and Stallone basically came in and said I’ll star in it if I get writing credit. And then… they both got credit for FIST.
I can’t tell you how much I wish Viggo would’ve gone anal on Dennis er, Demi in G.I. Jane.
Well, I guess I can tell you, cuz we’re all close like that. Not, ghey close, just close like third cousins close.
Wait, is Sexism okay in here? I thought we only discriminate on a basis of religion and creed, not sexual orientation or sex.
By Kitty and Stud, do you mean: "Italian Stallion?"
I never knew it as anything else. I had that shit on BETA MAX!
My dad told me "Italian Stallion" was stallones porn name.
Italian Stallion=Wop Donkey
The Mighty Fek’lhr feel it is implied that Aragorn went anal with all four of the hobbits in the Prancing Pony. More like "The Bologna Pony"!
Weird 6 Degrees thing I just found:
The guy who directed "Kitty and Stud" was Morton Lewis.
Morton Lewis was a character called "Morty" in a movie called: "Daddy I dont like it that way" (No, not that kind of movie)
The mother and father in "Daddy I dont like it that way" were Burt Young and Talia Shire
And we know what movie Talia Shire and Burt Young were in with Stallone.
IT ALL COMES FULL CIRCLE……..JERK.
Sooooo, Pauly was fucking his sister Adrianne? I’m gonna watch the Rocky movies again and let my imagination run buck-wild…..
The Mighty Fek’lhr does NOT see what this /\/\/\/\/\ has to do with Aragorn and NAMBLA!
Crazy right!?
The Mighty Fek’lhr wonders if there is something to that passage at the beginning of The Fellowship of the Ring (Concerning Hobbits) about a Hobbit bending over to pick up a pebble and squirrels running away…hmmm…perhaps that H’uh Aragorn was hiding in the brush ready to pounce? That must be it.
New Headline:
Quoth the Raven: What the Hell?
is it just me or is vigo biting serious cat’s style with the "what’s behind these eyes" look, and then we’ve got poe over there trying to copy vigo, who’s already copying serious cat.ÂÂ
wait, what?
ahhhh christ…i just had to spell viggo wrong, didn’t i.
sorry everyone, but "you know me"…*chodin begins to cut across the river, but stops to think, "wait…what did lance say about this?"*
other stallone scripts he’s trying to push:
1) punching some dude in the face: the true story
2) my mother is a butt psychic: the stallone family story
3) punching some chick in the womb
and
4) wet hair, dripping down my face, GRRRRRRRR tastes like fucking dandruff
…a script that i am personally working on:
1) where the fuck is everybody? – the chodin story
the chodin story part duex-right fucking here!
I’m fucking DB’s dead mother, than you very much. Drunk On.
Just cut off your arm, that should do the trick.
That, and shoot yourself in the face.
oh damn nom! i want some "skin-slip sixty-sevenths" on that nazi when you’re done!!!
EEEEEEWWW, DB’s dead mom is a Nazi?
**pulls dick out and goes to puke.
when was someone gonna tell me I was fucking a nazi?
What do
Michael JacksonDB and Caviar have in common?it’s cool nom – it’s not like she’s alive…so technically you’re not a racist.
…"i don’t know clark, what do DB and caviar have in common?"
i dunno clark, what do they have in common?
pinch poke, you own me some cocaine and percocets
They both cum on little white crackers.
I don’t know either. That is all.
EEEEEEWWWWWWWWW! YUCKY!
Do you know what Smeagol/Gollum and Aragorn have in common? They both like to molest Sam and Frodo! WHA HA HA!
Do you know what The One Ring and Aragorn have in common? They both like it when Frodo sticks his finger in them!
Do you know what carmen electra and madeline albright have in common? Give up? They are both in this here joke!
Ironically, Frank Stallone is the goddam Spitting Image of Edgar Allen Poe. Two birds, one Stallone. Jesus, I want to punch myself for that pun.
[url=http://imageshack.us][img=http://img89.imageshack.us/img89/1494/fsxf3.jpg][/url]
oh…i guess that works clark…i thought you were going to say something about how they both come from a rotting, dead fish or something?!
wait, does caviar come from dead nazis? oh my GAWD- did the nazis invent fish???
*chodin gets the spins and has to sit down*
What did Aragorn say when the Hobbits wanted "Second Breakfast"?
EAT MY NUTS YOU LITTLE SHITSTAINS! I have almonds and walnuts.
Yeah Nom, that’s funny shit.
Yeah. It was. You are right yet again. Purple.
I’m a hack. They both cum in cans? One has cum in his can the other cums in a can? I’m going back to sleep.
If this world is wearing thin
and you’re thinking of escape…
I’ll go anywhere with you
just wrap me up in chains…
As for the writing in Rocky not being Shakespeare, I think "You’re gonna eat lightnin’ and you’re gonna crap thunder!" comes about as close as anything in cinema. Rocky is amazing.
Yup. Purple is the new black and blue.
Very well done KM, i didna know there were any SS fan’s in here.
Things were going pretty well ’till i died
on that summer afternoon
Anyone else think dubdub may be 3000 or Katie Mamlok?
Forbidden hole
is nice and warm
so juicy sweet
Our only wish
to fifi a fish
so juciy SWEEEEEEET!
Aragorn: "Smeagol, stop singing that damn fifi song and put your loincloth back on!"
QWWWEEEEAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
Well, lets see.
"Katie Mamlok is waaaay funnier than DubDub ever was!"
Jokerswild: I listen to it when I need a good cry, lying on the shower floor, the hopes and dreams of yesterday swirling down the drain.
…Fuckin’ shifty-looking Mexican just came into the store, gotta get the broomstick.
NOthing.
No, I think Katie Mamlok is fek, considering Katie Mamlok backwards sounds a hell of a lot like Klingon.
you watch your tongues when you speak the name of dubdub…pray to god that he’s just been somewhere getting a really elaborate bj from some rap video hussy.
i am from Mexico and i live in california in a hat of a giant fatty. i do not have a photo of me on the page because i am a secret. maybe i am one of the lards in the up photo. maybe i am the suprise in the miget pants. it is a mystery.
courtesy of Fat Chicks In Party Hats
Kolmam Eit-Ak
You’re right Nommy, it’s gotta be Fek.
It’s also an anagram for ammo lake kit
hey hey! Calm down chod. No one would bad mouth dubs. He just strikes me as the kind of guy that would take this dual personality thing to the max. No posts for a few days, no x-box live login for a few days, no drunkdial phone calls at 3 a.m., then BAM! new poster shows up with the funny right away.
Could be the beej from the ghetto booty ho too.
chodin points across the table at nom and winks!
i knew you had an anagram in that heart of yours, just waiting to get out!
Kolmam Eit-Ak
This was what I ate at that Ethiopian joint the other night! It had, um, mushy stuff in it. It was kinda spicy.
woah JHC – what is your avatar?!?!?! i’m very intrigued because i think i can see BLACK people in it???
Kolmam Eit-Ak
I now totally have a name for a Berserker Dwarf character on World of Warcraft! …If I were an overweight dyke with unbrushed hair and body odour.
Dude, if those are black people . . . hide your wallets . . . lock the doors . . . put your chains inside your shirt!
yeah. it’s gotta be fek. NEEEEEEERD!
Oh, and word to the wise – spicy in, spicy out, if you know what I mean.
It’s a Klan member, in full-on hate costume, on a hospital gurney with nothing but black doctors and nurses. After yesterday’s racial insensitivities that I threw around, I thought I’d "represent fo’rell do".
oh…that’s cool i guess.
i thought it was the wu-tang clan.
Mine were only insensitive to the white people I was talking about.
I remember back in Oregon, the Wu Tang Klan protested a local television studio that was showing Sanford and Son episodes.
glen, if i didn’t want to make such sweet, sweet love to you – i’d probably tell you to "fuck off".
100TH?
I knew black doctor who once performed an operation where he removed all of the parts from my car while I was asleep.ÂÂ
Damn, I’m the H.N.I.C. up in this bizzo.
That guy works in L.A. too Duke? I had the same operation done here in N.O. about 2 years ago.
Yea Glen, I hear they aint’ nothin’ to fuck with.
Very thorough surgeon. He even remembered to remove the gas from the gas tank and everything. True story: The cops recovered the car and said it was partially stripped. The car thieves then broke into the South Central police impound yard later that night and stripped the rest of the parts, including the doors & hood.
Wow Duke, just wow. Those
blackguys are good. Oh shit, I can feel Rev. Al getting ready to pounce as I post this.Yeah, better get back on topic. Hey erswi, down in Nawlins do you ever have an Edgar Allen Po Boy sandwich with a side of corn on the macabre??
Sorry, not Fek’lhr. This is the only account I have here, Dirty Hairy is the only one I have at WWTDD. Chuck Long was the only one I had at WL beofre they banned me (those fucks).
Unlike some people, I don’t have much of a problem with being myself.
Hey erswi, down in Nawlins do you ever have an Edgar Allen Po Boy sandwich with a side of corn on the macabre??
Now that’s what I call a CORNY joke!
I thought my shit was corny till I told that joke.
you actually got banned what do you have to do to get banned?
I’ve been banned from WithLazy as well. Hah, Lazytown 4 Life Niggaz!
No Duke, I haven’t. But I did have a Will Fennel salad with a lovey . . . fuck, I don’t have the brainpower for this today.
I had this "gimmick" (kinda like I do with Fek’lhr) where I was a naieve country boy that liked to play football (Iowa’s Chuck Long). I was slowly inserting my undertones of racism, sexism, and repressed sexuality when some of the fucks there decided I wasn’t "funny enough" and bitched to the owner and he banned me.
I was WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY over their heads, and that’s all there was to it. My "subtle" humor was just no match for their pussy and nigger jokes.
My ex wife is from Louisianna. God I
hate that bitchmiss the food down there.and nigger pussy jokes. thoses are ROFLCOPTER funny.
We all hate that bitch Stoney. alright drunkards off to lunch. later fifis
Funny/true story about my ex wife (I got a million of them). When she
finallyleft, she employed the help of her family friend to fly to NJ and make the drive back home to Louisianna in the rental truck. Along with her share of the furniture and stuff, she was bringing our dog with her.Her family friend was a working country music writer.
So, as I stood out front watching them leave, I realized that my wife leaving me, taking my dog, and heading down south in a truck with a guy who writes country songs.
fek – how exactly do they keep you from just changing your avatar and heading back into the lion’s den?
how exactly do they keep you from just changing your avatar and heading back into the lion’s den?
chodin-They actually suspended my account and deleted EVERYTHING I ever posted. I guess they just loved me that much! Granted, I could have signed up with a different email and new screen-name, but what is the fucking point? WL isn’t the first webpage I have been banned from, and I sincerely doubt it will be the last. Why? I pretty much do what I want to do on the internet, and people tend to have a problem with non-conformity.
Dor sho gha!
The Mighty Fek’lhr meant….that He would never go to a site that is gayer than a rusty old spaceship full of dishonoured Klingon souls that hog the food replicator to warm up their banana peels all fucking day! Grrr…banana fifi!
BTW, new post seriously this time.
you are my hero fek
The Mighty Fek’lhr is honoured.