PARTY AT THE TRAILERS
11.15.07
Forbidden Kingdom Teaser – Jackie Chan and Jet Li. “A bullied New York teenager (Michael Angarano) obsessed with Hong Kong cinema and classic Kung Fu movies one day he discovers a legendary warrior’s staff in a Chinatown pawnshop, which transports him back to ancient China.” My favorite part was the flying and the magic.
Redacted – “A fictional story inspired by true events, REDACTED is a unique cinematic experience that will force viewers to radically reconsider the filters through which we see and accept events in our world, the power of the mediated image and how presentation and composition influence our ideas and beliefs.” Here’s Brian DePalma’s chance to prove me wrong about him being the most overrated filmmaker of our time. Having the only image in the trailer be some whiny pussy crying on his wife’s shoulder doesn’t seem very promising.
Beowulf Featurette – More like GAY-owolf. Yup, still looks stupid.
Saawariya – “A timeless story of two young star-crossed lovers whose passions almost consume their will to the brink of self-destruction. In this eternal tale of an ode to romance, stand two lonely souls whose childlike innocence and candour only obscures their inner turmoil, anger, anxiety and desperate…” Had enough? Yeah, me too. But I am hungry for some curry.
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince Featurettes (1 and 2) – "Using an old Potions book which previously belonged to the "Half-Blood Prince," Harry is able to increase his magical knowledge and prepare for battle. First, however, he must help Dumbledore discover the secret to Voldemort’s quest for immortality — the location of his Horcruxes." I usually keep my horcruxes near my horankle brace in the dead whore pile.

Trailer time? Who brought the guns and liquor?
So what you’re saying is that none of these is worth watching? We’ve been stuck talking He-Man for almost 4 hours for this?
What the fuck is laying behind that chick that looks like she mouthed off to her man?
I’ll bring the guns n liquor you bring the farm animals. I like sheep.
wow…one time i had a gay bollywood dream and it pretty much looked exactly like the trailer for Saawariya.
uncle dad: you either have to try harder, or not try at all around here…there is no gay gray.
choddy: WAY TO GO ON YOUR FUCKN AVATAR, SON, YOU IS MY NIGGA FOU LIFE!
i don’t know about gay gray. what the hell is that?
dub dub: it’s completely dedicated to you.
and 260 bench press, without a spotter??? you’re too brave.
What do you call a coughing Quidditch commentator?
<<Weasley (Wheeze-Lee!)>>
"gay gray" is where your sexuality has been levitating for the past several years…it’s also where lonely socks go.
shit or get off the prostitute’s chest.
"Does this heart on mah boob make me look too trailer?"
all i’m sayin is i like sheep cause they back up when you push ‘em
I think that guy on the right side of the banner pic stole Steven Segal’s jacket.
How many Weasleys does it take to light up a wand?
<<Who needs a lighted wand, with all that bright red hair?>>
<<Seven: Ginny to look upset and do nothing, Ron to sulk about not getting credit for lighting up the last one, Fred and George to try and blow it up, Percy to yell at Fred and George, Charlie to hold it in front of a cranky dragon, and Bill to roll his eyes at all of them.>>
<<One, but they’ll have to search through a pile of the twins’ fake ones first.>>
fuk’er- if you weren’t aware the quidditch commentator for most of the matches was none other than, lee jordan. the weasly brothers were both beaters for the gryffindor team.
FUCK!
Man, look at her outfit. Jamiacan "Red Stripe" hat with a Harley shirt? Please, woman. Do the world a favor and LOOK at what you’re wearing before you step outside.
Oh my god… guys. I think I’m a gay.
What do you call jewelery that many people and I share?
<<Rubeus (Ruby-us!)>>
choddy: you fuckn know it! 260 was nothing, all i had to do was think of what lil wayne would do. wwlwd? then i summoned the courage and POW!
I don’t have any clue what Fek’lhr is doing.
That’s nothing new.
The Mighty Fek’lhr is just copying and pasting from teh ghey FanFic site, Dub. About the only thing He knows about Harry Potter is that Dumbledore is gay. Fag.
what REALLY turns me on is chicks in tights and dyed hair in pigtails coloring with crayons on the floor in public view. Is that a weird fetish?
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince Featurettes (1 and 2) – "Using an old Potions book which previously belonged to the "Half-Blood Prince," Harry is able to increase his magical knowledge and prepare for battle. First, however, he must help Dumbledore discover the secret to Voldemort’s quest for immortality — the location of his Horcruxes." I usually keep my horcruxes near my horankle brace in the dead whore pile.
+
teh ghey Harry Potter jokes
=
What Fek is doing, you yIntagh
not at all cocaine: now if you mentioned how badly you wanted to fuck that leather, streamer jacket behind her…then maybe we’d have a problem.
/\ /\ /\ banner pic = Fek’lhr family Christmas. No, really…He lives in a traielr park in Iowa. IOWA.
Hey C&P – If you think you might be gay then you’re gay! sung to if you’re happy and you know it.
Carlos Mencia’s one decent remark ever.
/me quickly goes to FanFic site and tells them off.
FUCK ME WITH CRAYONS, AGAIN!
GUYS, FOR THE RECORD, I DO NOT READ HARRY POTTER NOR HAVE EVER WATCHED ANY OF HIS MOVIE OR EVER DOWNLOADED SEVERAL .DOC’S OF FANFIC THAT HE COULDVE ACQUIRED THROUGH MUGGLEWORLD.NET!!!!
dub: those hits off that crack rock worked pretty good too!
How many Voldemorts does it take to light up a wand?
<<None. Why do you think he’s called the *Dark* Lord?>>
<<I’m a bit afraid to ask him just now. He seems a bit preoccupied in his attempts to kill Harry Potter.>>
The Mighty Fek’lhr once squatted 810 lbs., bitch!
fek….no.
For the record, I actually have no clue about any of this Harry Potter shit. Haven’t read a book, haven’t seen a movie, have no intention to.
Although I did watch the youtube videos of people driving through bookstore parking lots ruining the book ending for everyone.
And I liked that.
How many stuck-up arrogant teachers *coughLockhartcough* does it take to light a wand?
<<Only one, but he’s too busy fixing his oh-so-perfect hair and coordinating his robes. But of course, he could light a wand with his hands tied behind his back, if he wanted to.>>
yeah, i’m with jacktion! – jacking off and then firing seamen out of my dork is pretty much the closest i’ve ever gotten to all that magic bullshit.
oh, but i would totally fuck a white tiger if i could.
true story: the whole time ive been in this library (3 hours+) there’s this chick that’s been sitting across from me. every so often i’ll wink at her, blow her a kiss, and etc… this last time i gave her the international sign to screw (the finger through the hole gesture) coupled with a wink/kiss combo. so you’re asking yourself if i scored, right? no. a monitor here told me to move to another floor or be escorted out by security guards. she totally wants me.
That stupid bitch, I already done told her once. She better not make me tell her a second time!
For the love of all things holy, will someone please tell me what the fuck is in the crouching tiger position on the floor in the back!!!!
::wonders if LaQuisha at McD’s put LSD in his quarter pounder::
JHC – Actually, that’s the mouse position in yoga.
Honest to god, I thought it was a monkey for twenty minutes. Then I realized it’s some red headed boy with pig tails drawing a detailed plan to destroy his foster parents since all they do is beat him and dress him up like a girl. The plans consist of a nail, shoe polish, banana, and a penquin.
Ugh, I can’t take Potter fanfic any more…I almost feel like apologizing to you guys for posting that shit.
Almost.
True story: There was this one stupid cunt that used to spam our Udnertaker message board with her crap fanfic. 9/10 times it involved a troubled young girl who was psychic getting raped by Undertaker and Kane in an alley. WTF?
We took yoga in the 70′s upon the recommendation of Sir Paul McCartney. We were unimpressed.
Point being, if you are psychic, stay the fuck out of that alley, bitch!
i think that dude in the streamer jacket is *chodin squints eyes…begins to nod repeatedly* yup, it’s totally him you guys – it’s ‘the ultimate warrior’ hombres.
true story: the whole time ive been in this library (3 hours+) there’s this chick that’s been sitting across from me. every so often i’ll wink at her, blow her a kiss, and etc… this last time i gave her the international sign to screw (the finger through the hole gesture) coupled with a wink/kiss combo. so you’re asking yourself if i scored, right? no. a monitor here told me to move to another floor or be escorted out by security guards. she totally wants me.
Fuckin’ Cockblockin’ monitor.
that’s what i’m sayin’ sicksauce, if yaknowhaimsayin’
Gnome sane?
Gnome sane?
Really doh, dawg!
JHC – that chick in the back is my broad. hands off. she’s acting out my fetish.
awwwww how cute – she’s doing homework.
Harry Potter almost makes us ashamed to be British.
Almost.
Do any of these movies have boobies in them?
Wow, Britney has lost some weight and her complexion is better!
Another installment of What is this crap?
by your lovable-but-beligerant Film Critic VegasHustler
Forbidden Kingdom: I’m not much for full blown martial arts films, I usually only like urbanized modern day karate movies, prefurably starring The Rock or some other
WWFWWE wrestler. I’m just curious, is Jackie Chan def? Why does he talk like it then?Redacted: It has a bunch of those leafy award things, so it must be good, right?
Beowulf: When is this fucking movie coming out already, so I can never hear of it again!
Saawariya: What the fuck did you call me! No seriously though, you lost me the second I landed on the web page.
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince: I’ve seen this movie and it is FUCKING AWESOME! Oh I thought you said Mary Squater & the Half-limp Penis. Never mind then.
I wish I could marry JK Rowling. She’s richer than god, she kinda a hot looking cougar and when you bang her she would say, "Oh, feeln’ good governor! Your wanker feels good in my boosh! Cum and I’ll make us tea and crumpetts!" Or something like that, what do I know, I’m not British. USA USA USA!
GAY GAY GAY! er-um…GRRRRRR BALD EAGLES! USA USA USA!!!
I wish i had a colouring book to comfort me when i feel like the walls are closing in. Alas i have to make do with sackfuls of cash and baby ducks.
Thank you flux! I see it clearly now.
::drags LaQuisha’s body to the creek::
Everytime I see the word Boobies now I think of what the Duke said about wanting the puppy with the pink nose. Which kinda sucks because I used to just think about boobies and picture them bouncing or being in my mouth. Now they are all dressed like little dogs with floppy ears and pink noses and then I go to a bad place where I picture what JHC said about rolling around with midgets is like rolling around with puppies and how you start to hurt them because their breath makes you nauseous and you just want them to leave you alone.
God I read this site too much. Mommy make it stop.
Hey, Uncle dad’s avatar is from yahoo answers
where the fuck you been Nom? I didn’t make that phone call also. You know what I’m talking about…..couldn’t find the number in the book.
adios cocksuckers!
-i’m punching out (my old girlfriend).
DRUNK on.
I’m out too. I’m gonna see if I can get the old lady to paint her face like the Ultimate Warrior then give her a DDP with my cock and a cucumber.
PEACE!
When did James Coburn play Jesus?
same here folks. someone just handed me a copy of the ‘non-tolerance harassment’ guide. she obviously wants me to try harder.
NEW POST!!!
Where have I been? WHERE HAVE I BEEN? I’ve been working! {cue laugh track} Am I right folks?
Can’t wait to see the new movie! I saw this actress’s profile on millionaire dating site [WealthyRomance.com] last week! It is said she is dating a wealthy guy on that site!
I doubt the veracity of that last statement. bigfan0909: you, sir, are a scoundrel.
Jet Li is HOT!! Love him!!!
I don’t know i’m a gay or bi. I’m now on http://www.biloves.com.