The concept art for James Cameron’s Avatar has been online for a few days now, and as /Film has pointed out, it’s basically a cross between Angelina Jolie in Beowulf and Tron.  Nerds love to whack it to animated chicks like this, because cartoons can’t file restraining orders.

AVATAR will chronicle the story of a galactic war veteran, sent to a distant world to battle a new race of life-forms, alleged to look like [the chick in the concept art]. So far Sam Worthington, Sigourney Weaver, Matt Gerald, Giovanni Ribisi, Joel David Moore, Wes Studi, Stephen Lang, CCH Pounder, Michelle Rodriguez and Zoe Saldana will all star in the film… Saldana is rumored to be playing the character that appears in the photo. [Source] 

The “sci-fi” epic is said to blend live-action shots with “revolutionary” 3-D CGI effects – making it pretty much like every other action movie made in the last ten years. I’m not too into this project at this stage, but I’ll take any excuse to post pictures of Tron Man.  Say, I feel like I’ve seen those exact glasses somewhere else… ‘Tis truly a mystery… 

According to Hollywood Reporter, Russell Crowe replacing Brad Pitt in State of Play is looking like a done deal. 

Pitt had been a driving force behind the project – which includes director Kevin Macdonald, Edward Norton, Helen Mirren, Rachel McAdams, Jason Bateman, and Robin Wright Penn – but left over script concerns.  According to an earlier report: 

Pitt and the studio never quite meshed on the script, said several sources. He sparked to Matthew Michael Carnahan’s original adaptation of the Paul Abbott-created British miniseries but apparently liked it more than the studio. While the actor made several movies in quick succession, Universal got rewrites by the likes of Peter Morgan, Tony Gilroy and Billy Ray. Pitt’s vision departed from that of the studio somewhere along that rewrite trail.

This sucks. Listen, I like Russell Crowe.  But sticking him in a role meant for Brad Pitt at the last minute is a disappointment.  It’s kind of like asking my maid for a martini and she brings me a gin fizz – I enjoy a gin fizz, it’s just not what I had my heart set on, you know?  Do they not speak booze in Nicaragua?  Still, she’s pretty smart for an 8-year-old.  And man can she take a punch.   

Over at the Hellboy 2 official site (Hellboy II: The Golden Army) they’ve got up the first of what they say is going to be three “first looks” in three days.  Guillermo Del Toro’s Hellboy sequel opens July 11, 2008.

The numero uno poster design is for Liz Sherman, the B.R.P.D.’s resident pyrokinetic and g.f. of Hellboy. Played by the raven-haired Selma Blair once again in HB2, Liz can control a blue-tinted flame which she wields to fry to a crisp any bad demons, monsters or other chicks that try to steal her boyfriend. [MovieBlog] 

Yeah, okay.  Still, when I know the director’s capable of shit like this, I’m a little disappointed with shot of Selma Blair’s jaw and cheekbone.  They’re calling it a “theater lobby display”, so I imagine in real life it’s going to look even bigger than this.  Scary thought – blowing up pictures of extreme close-ups has a tendency to make chicks look fat (don’t ask me how I know) and they hate that.   

It’s a basic tenant of science that I try to harness when sending out pictures of my penis on Myspace.  Gotta give the ladies what they want up front, am I right?  And now we wait… 

The WGA has released a series of videos like this one as part of their "Speechless" campaign in support of the striking writers. Full cast list here.

Hey, you know what’d be a great?  Famous actors staring at the camera not saying anything.  You know, cause, like, if the writers don’t write, than the actors don’t can’t say anything because they’re retarded.  Awesome idea!  Hey, in case people don’t get it at first, lets have a bunch of people in it.  Yeah!  And maybe after like 30 seconds they still won’t understand what it’s about, so we’ll drag it out for like three minutes!  Yeah!  And we’ll call it "Just What’s on the Page".  YEAH!

Poor actors are helpless to convey an idea without speaking.  Haven’t they ever been to a strip club? 

^{Semi-related and totally self-indulgent note: speaking as a non-union writer who’s not on strike, yours truly has a reading tonight at 8:30 at the Ding Dong Lounge on 106th and Columbus in Manhattan, so if you live in the NYC area, and are clamoring for more of my semi-coherent ramblings, feel free to attend.  Actors will still not be allowed to speak.}

We’ve already double-teamed one story today so this is pushing it, but this clip I found on WithLeather is both movie-related and the most ridiculous thing I’ve seen all day so I had to post it.

Anyway, ever wondered what would happen if two stinky ultimate frisbee players figured out how to copulate and then gave birth to a child who was more than the sum of his sheltered pussy parts?  Okay, now mix in some mercury-tainted vaccines and private-school education and what do you get?  Motherf#$king college kids playing motherf%*king Quidditch, that’s what.

So apparently the most sheltered retards in wannabe exclusive Northeast private schools like Vassar and Middlebury College are playing quidditch, the made-up game from the Harry Potter books.  Yes, the same game that requires flying around on a broom and a tiny magic ball that flies around of its own volition. [WL]

God I’m angry.  I’m going to punch every inanimate object I see, beginning with homeless people and eventually moving my way up to white babies (not that white babies are higher up, just that I don’t see black or Mexican kids playing goddamned Quidditch).  This is what happens when people stop beating their kids.  I don’t want to live in that world and if I have to smack your kids myself until they learn that there is such a thing as a stupid idea, so be it. 

And if you’re keeping score at home, people who play quidditch just shot to the top of my list of people I want to stab, just above guys that listen to techno in their car, club promoters, white guys with dreads, and the cast of Sunset Tan. (Trannies that trick me into doing them by being super sexy have been demoted to a stern talking to)