Hopefully this will be the last Justice League of America casting story I ever do.  Today /Film is reporting that Megan "She’s Blowin’ Up" Gale has been confirmed for Wonder Woman and Armie Hammer confirmed for Batman… by AICN and IESB… aw, crap.

Megan Gale is, of course, the lovely lady to your left - of whom I’d never heard before today, but am now a fan, since a simple Google Image Search for her name turns up numerous topless photos. Bottom line, she’s hot and slutty and I’d probably drink her bathwater, but I still wouldn’t see JLA if you paid me… in Megan Gale bathwater.  

Armie Hammer, someone else I’ve never heard of, will be playing the part of Batman. He’s supposedly 6′5", but he’s also named after Baking Soda so I’m pretty sure he’s a huge pussy. Actually, he’s named after his great grandfather, Armand Hammer. Why he’d choose to go by Armie rather than Army boggles the mind, but as far as the origin of the name: 

According to Carl Blumay, his biographer and former press agent, Hammer was named after the "Arm and Hammer" symbol of the Socialist Labor Party (SLP), in which his father, a committed socialist, had a leadership role at one time. [Wiki]

Awesome, maybe they should recast Superman as Hitler, put a swastika on his chest, and rename the movie Jew-Killing League of America Haters. Jerks. 

/Film has a brand new trailer and Collider has eight new clips from Juno up today.  Directed by Jason Reitman and written by Diablo Cody (Brook Busey-Hunt), Juno stars Ellen Page, Michael Cera, Rainn Wilson, Jason Bateman, Jennifer Garner, and JK Simmons; and I swear to christ it feels like I’ve been hearing about it since I was just a muscular tadpole in my Daddy’s nutsack.  Could you please just release the f-ing thing already?

Juno opens in New York and Los Angeles on December 5th, but as for the rest of you sad bastards, well you can just park your fat asses at IHOP and soak up lingonberry butter till you croak because Hollywood doesn’t care about you.   Yeah, that’s right, they’re not concerned about the little guy, because they’re too busy getting money enemas and eating endangered species sushi off of real-live naked chicks, man!  The kind guys like you and me only see on the internet! I’m sick of it!

Anyway, I used to think I was into Ellen Page ‘cuz she’s all smart alecky and stuff, but now I’m starting to think I might like her friend in the pigtails more. Okay, okay, lusting after high school girls is kind of weird, but in real life her names Olivia Thirlby and she’s street legal in all 50 states.  Now, if I could just find an IMDB page for that bewitching chap from the Gerber jars.. .

And Mr. Snuggles.  That sexy bear really softens my fabric.

As promised, Hellboy 2’s movie site released a new poster today, this time featuring Abe Sapien, who’s basically a cross between the Pale Man and C3PO.   

He also does a video intro, with his voice played by David Hyde Pierce, who’s no stranger to the chamomile, if you catch my drift.  Pierce was just named People Magazine’s "Whitest Man Alive" for the 10th straight year and he’s never been photographed with Tim Gunn.  Coincidence?  Think again, my friend. One time Selma Blair beat David Hyde Pierce in arm wrestling match using only her jaw. 

UPDATE: As commenter Lincolnfx points out: David Hyde Pierce actually is not doing Abe Sapien’s voice.  A In Hellboy II it is [Doug] Jones’ voice you will hear, Pierce isn’t involved. Jeez, thanks for ruining all my jokes, Professor Fact Guy.

There’s one new movie opening in wide release this weekend, and that movie is Awake, starring Hayden Christensen, Jessica Alba, and Yahoo Howard.  I, for one, hope it’s going to be really really good.

Trouble is, no one seems to have any reviews because the studio didn’t screen it for critics.  Nothing says "Yup, this movie sucks." quite like not showing it for the critics - except maybe Brett Ratner’s name in the credits.  Sure, they’ll try to spin the decision with crap like, "We just don’t, like, think critics should get to see the movie before the fans, man. It’s all about the fans!"

Not a chance.  No way in hell a studio sacrifices word of mouth unless they’re positive all the reviews are going to be bad.  It’s a shame, because Jessica Alba’s such a talented actress.  No one plays hot-chick-who-says-stuff-sometimes better than her.  She’s like a mannequin you can’t strap to the roof of your car!

Other movie blogs have been falling all over themselves trying to write a "OMFG, Seth Rogen Talks Green Hornet!!" post following an interview he did with MTV.  I avoided it, mainly because I didn’t give a crap, because of quotes like this:

There’s a more comedic version and a less comedic version, and we don’t know what will feel right until we’re actually writing it," he revealed to MTV News. "We were about to start writing the script, and then the [writers'] strike hit.

"It’s really hard to wrap our head around what the movie will be until we’ve written the script," he added.

Sweet, a guy giving an interview about a movie he hasn’t written yet. Why not interview me about next month’s hilarious posts that will revolutionize the internet, or the 700 hot babes I’m going vaporize with cunnilingus this weekend?  Anyway, the Rogen interview suddenly became relevant when I needed something timely to go withh this Donnie Darko clip I stumbled across recently (you’ll see Seth about 40 seconds in).  What the hell?  Seth Rogen was in Donnie Darko?  Was I the only one who missed that?