A while back, the rumor going around was that Fox had taked control of Hitman away from director Xavier Gens. Despite denials from Fox, Hitman star Timothy Olyphant made recent statements implying Gens was fired.
When asked whether Gens was there for the re-shoots, Olyphant replied, "He’s involved. I saw him when I was there [doing the reshoots] but he did not direct the reshoots. I heard the talk on that, that he was fired. I kept saying I was trying to get that guy fired for months. They finally fired him? Fuck! I was saying that forever. He doesn’t speak English, didn’t anybody see that?" [Source]
Though sources say Olyphant seemed to be joking about that last part, his hatred of foreigners became clear when he asked an Asian reporter for "sucky sucky" and pushed a Hispanic busboy down a flight of stairs. Yes, the press conference was at a restaurant, what’s so strange about that?
Anyway, if these rumors are true, it’s a big-time disappointment. I expect one thing and one thing only out of a video-game movie: auteurship.
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I thought Huge Bowell was directing this movie.
Through my substantial research, this movie was thankfully not directed by Huge Bowell. Will it still be a huge pile of shit? Most likely, but nothing can stink quite like a Bowell moving picture.
On the plus side, Xavier Gens last movie was rated NC-17 for "extreme sadistic graphic violence and gore."
How could this non-American be any more American than filling his movie with so much violence that it gets an NC-17 rating? That’s normally reserved for a penis being inserted into a vagina! And lord knows we don’t want our children seeing that! Perhaps there is hope for this movie.
THIS HADIBAH SHOULD BE FED TO THE DOGS! YINTAGH PREPOSTER WITH NO HONOUR!
Firstly, reluctantfux, thats the whole point: They had Gens direct this movie, then when he made a video game movie (from a game that you couldn’t buy unless you were 18) that included blood and shooting, they decided to bring in another director to recut it so that it could be pg13. And you’re on your own with these klingon dogs feks calling for.
Fek’lhr, while I may be preposting, it’s only because I grow tired of the old threads and require new material. Also, at least I’m not going around claiming "firsts"."fists", "Imatards" or whatever the crap people are calling it these days.
I’m still confused about the choice to use Olyphant. But it apparently is going to stay rated R (from what I’ve read). Fox gets some damn creative people, and then they just fucking crucify their work. Why is this?
Thank God they fired Gens….now we can start talking Oscar!
P.S.- The poster for this movie looks like a Master P CD cover. High class!
Reluctantflux has a funny moustache.
As does Wllford Brimley. *smiley emoticon seen here*
It’s about fucking time there was a movie based on a video game.
It’s also about fucking time this was posted, i’ve got a running gag going here and waiting hours in between posts does it no favours.
It’s also about fucking time foreigners got fired for not speaking English. What is so hard about speaking English? I do it every day and I’m no rocket scientist or anything.
I’m pretty sure that no one in Oregon speaks anything besides English. This film probably won’t do well, even if there are subtitles.
The new Eagles album sucks.
Tim Olyphant scares me. I have weird dreams about him saying "hello John Maclaine"
BTW
I saw the teaser for this and it said it was rated R…
Reluctant, I sympathize with you. But, and this is in my opinion, I only will prepost if I think I have something so great to say about it, and that thing will be exponentially better in the form of a prepost. That, or if I don’t realize it’s a prepost because I linked to it through recent comments section. But that’s just me. And I’m just me too. I got lucky.
Whenever Glen shows up, it’s like a little ray of absurd sunshine.
Well, I stand corrected on my pg13 proclamation.
Glen: I thought everyone in Oregon spoke American. What are you, a Commie?!
whats this pre-post stuff? now i feel like a newbie.
i fuckin love ya even if just for that one comment grotie.
Just out of curiosity, who the fuck does Timmy Elephant or whatever think he is that HE can get a director fired? I’m pretty sure the casting coordinator just went through a bunch of head shots thinking, That guy might not look too bad bald.
So if the director didn’t speak English, did the cast just wander around the set and hope to get caught on camera?
Yeah, I can see your point, Nominus. I’ll withhold from preposting unless I have something genuinely funny to say. I’ll withhold my insincerely funny things until after post.
Has anyone seen Glen’s previous movies? What’s the verdict on the guy?
no Luchey, if they did it would be called Big Brother.
so.. when are they going to make a Duck Hunt movie??
Remember when that fucking dog laughed when you missed? Even at 6 I wanted to kill that son of a bitch <(pun intended)
If the director didn’t speak English, what did he speak?
If it’s Esperanto, I win the office pool!
Thai
I wasted sooo many rounds trying to kill that laughing fucker, Koru. Soooo many shells wasted.
I beg your pardon, Bryce! There really is no language named ‘American’. We speak English.
i killed that dog once. . . no wait. . . maybe it wasn’t the duck hunt dog. . . maybe it was someone’s sister. . . ahh, childhood, the innocence of youf.
tee hee! I thought Koru said Dick Hunt! ( puts away penis)
oh I know… My dad kept trying to tell me, you can’t hit the dog sweetie… so then I tried shooting him, and they took it away from me.. Felt it was too violent.
fastforward to things like Halo….
Gens talk Thai real good.
FIREFOX 3 IS OUT!
I only play Dick Hunt on certain days. You know, the ones that end in ‘Y’
but Halo is Ok, cuz because it’s a cartoon character on screen doing all the killing. not you personally with a gun shaped device. that is why guitar hero must be outlawed.
" ..kept saying I was trying to get that guy fired for months. They finally fired him? Fuck! I was saying that forever. He doesn’t speak English, didn’t anybody see that? " – i used this same argument in high school, when discussing the retirement of my german teacher…principle dickhead was not amused.
ich habe grosse balle.
so then tomorroW is definitely out, right koru?
On Friday nights, my wife and I have pizza and share a beer. If we’re not ready to go to sleep after that, we’ll play Atari Space Invaders.
Whoa dub dub. After you said that i went to check my version, and it’s currently downloading version 2.0.0.8./ WTF?
do Thai people also do that thing where they use l for r and vice versa?
I had an Asian friend who always called me Clistine.
"I leelly rike you Clistine"
du hast grosse balle, chodin?
bach dich
Firefox.com is showing version 2.0.0.9 available. Unless I’m from the future, Nominus is from the past.
Nommy- It’s currently in it’s beta version, but I felt the need to announce it anyway. Here is the Win Version: http://ftp.mozilla.org/pub/mozilla.org/firefox/nightly/2007-11-07-03-firefox3.0b1/
JHC – who does Timothy Olyphant think he is? He thinks he’s Seth Bullock, the man that stood toe to toe with Al Swearengen and lived to tell the tale. Cocksucker.
Shit! That goddamn Gregory Ng won the office pool again.
it’s only because I grow tired of the old threads and require new material.
You speak the lies of a TahQeq!
oh vraiment ?
hallo! ich heiBe chodin…ich essen kinderbratten.
I can speak a little Duetch..
Ich mag Kopf geben
That means Nice to meet you… right?
That’s what Finn from down the street taught me anyway..
Ich bein ein child molester!
quick babel fish…
damn that Finn!!!
No wonder I always got nice big tips from the Germans who came to the bar I worked at.. and probably why they stalked me too.
damn, i restart firefox after it automatically update me to 2.0.0.8 just now, but then I get back on and see here that 2.0.0.9 is available, but it isn’t automatically downloading it? Maybe 2.0.0.9 will fix that flaw in 2.0.0.8. I fucking had having to click "check for updates".
Hmmm… Hairy and Fuckin’ Mike both show up at the same time.
Coincidence?
That chick in the banner is pretty slamtastic
*knock* *knock* *knock*
oh, hallo! ich bein ein child molester und de-jack off in meine de-old station wagon in de-kinder’s playground.
Why did I get a "you’ve updated to the most recent version of firefox" message after installing both 2.0.0.8 and 2.0.0.9? "Who cares" is what I always say.
Nommy – I posted the link to FFB3 in the previous page.
Chodin – It’s pretty cool that you kindergarteners, another similarity we can pencil in our ‘similarities’ column. (Like twins I tell ya)
Koru – If you haven’t found out yet, you basically said, ‘i like to give head’
well i use opera so im alternative to alternative you lousy bastards
f.y.i. – i thought that i’d be "cool" and "worldly" if instead of taking spanish in high school, i would take german class.
four years later it’s fucking paid off, because now i live in los angeles and we have a huge german imigration issue here: they’re always trying to sneak into the US, but i’m able to tell them not too now.
haha, to everyone who took spanish: you’re dumber than a bag-a-dicks.
I know dub.. i was trying to be clever…. and failed miserably….
add ‘eat’ in between ‘you’ and ‘kinder’ and it’ll be semi-coherent.
Sorry to dissapoint, but Fuckin’ Mike isn’t me. Whoever it is is going to sued for copyright infringement though.
I’ve had a busy morning trying to hack into the Pentagon’s seecret files on extra-terrestiral life, bigfoot, and the White House’s chocalate chip cookie recipe.
So I’ve updated to Firefox 3 beta and the only difference that I can tell is that now I have to actually look at ads since my ad blocking plugins don’t work with it.
Hairy –
shut your fuckn mouth, you piece of shit, i hate you, and why haven’t you killed yourself yet?Ummm in what type of file do you want those videos to be; .wmv, .avi, mpeg?Yeah, I think I’ll hold off on Firefox beta 3. I channeled glen, and he said he didn’t know about it. Beta fish tend to die easily, and if you throw foxes and fire into the mix, pretty much anything could happen to the cute little guy.
wow.. I bet channeling glen is like taking a xanax. easy peasy, no worries…. ahhhhhh.
Koru – No worries other than being dismembered by Stone Soup, you mean.
Does anyone else hear little kids speaking a different language and think to themselves "Wow, that kid is smart – I can’t speak that language…"?
Stone Soup – Please hold off on your feelings of inadequacy until we meet Thursday nights at 6pm. We’ll go into the details later. But just look at yourself in the mirror and say that ‘you are worth it’.
wwbd – i like to think that there’s an old milk man out there, who knocked up both of our mothers while our dads were out of town…somewhere in our lineage i’m pretty sure we’re connected…and "yes" that is the gayest thing i have ever written to another man.
I would hope to be dismembered for doing an homage to the most loved character that stone has ever hated.
"Nick Hogan Bollea arrested, attorneys maintain crash was an accident"
Well, no shit. Nobody ever said it wasn’t. How could attorneys be so fucking far from the point. I didn’t mean for those civilians to end up dead in my bank robbery plot, how can you charge me with murder. Now I have to get by leavenworth penitentiaries firewall, all because you idiots thought i did it on purpose.
One time, I was having a really bad day, and there was a family of four speaking Chinese very loudly behind me. It was like they were following me. I just couldn’t escape them. Finally, in a fit of frustration, I turned around and told them that they have the ugliest language in the world, and stormed off.
That woman never ironed my shirts correctly again.
hey fuckers, join us all at the new post.
That was my mother* you screamed at Jack. You sonuvabitch, I thought you looked familiar.
*possibly not my mother as she doesn’t speak Chinese, usually
I thought I was the first to say "Fuck Mike"….
I mean I am Mike.
I mean….aww fuck it…and
Mikeme!Auteurship? Come on, Lance. ‘Word of the Day’ toiletpaper is beneath you.
Auteurship? Come on, Lance. ‘Word of the Day’ toiletpaper is beneath you.
Crush expresses my sentiments partially. Do you have any clue how long it took me to find out what that word meant? I can’t just act like I already knew it when I can’t find the definition quickly through google, ya know.
Isn’t this based on that shitty game where i can’t make my Mr. Clean looking character walk slow to avoid alerting the guards unless i make him crouch…and what kind of delivery man crouches without raising suspicion unless it’s the creepy FedEx who peeps in my window both before and afrer he drops off my Columbian meth?
Why would you get columbian meth? Mexico and California. But see what nafta gets us people? Fucking columbian meth.
I’m waiting for the spy reviews for Hitman to come in on AICN. Witty headlines to read:
CumGargeller69H00T says ‘Hitman’s not Shitman!’
HobbitElf69KHAN! say ‘Hitman is Shitman!’
They don’t play around with old Mountain Dew 2 liter bottles and cold medicines like the good old USA does. besides, the workers are much more disposable than in the USA too.