Hey remember that one movie with that mannequin that was like Point Break for people with stupid cars? Yeah dude, they made three of them. They’re working on a fourth and some chick’s gonna be in it. Should be hot.
Anyway, yeah – Jordana Brewster will be in the fourth installment of The Fast and The Furious (BGavin suggests 4 the Fast, 4 the Furious, but I think they’ll go with something less literary). Paul Walker, Vin Diesel, and director Justin Lin will be back as well. Good thing, I mean, an actor like Paul Walker you can’t just replace with an upside down broom with Paul Walker’s headshot taped to it. Oh wait…
Also, anyone else think Jordana Brewster kinda looks like Madonna’s daughter? And by that I mean, "Jordana? Hi, it’s tweezers. I don’t think we’ve met." (looks at girlfriends and cackles bitchily – but it’s all just a defense mechanism)
UPDATE: Apparently little Lourdes (who’s nicknamed Lola – poor mom didn’t realize she’d have an English accent when she gave her a Spanish name) has been offered a part in the latest Harry Potter flick.
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Hey Lourdes, Colin Farrell called, he wants his eyebrow back.
Hey, Fek’ called, he wants a date.
When The Mighty Fek’lhr first saw a promo for "The Fast and The Furious", He thought it was a documentary depicting the mastubatory habits of Filmdrunkards.
Funny, the chick on the right somehow makes the brow work for her. WTF?
Lance, dude, you missed a perfect opportunity to use a modification of the stickers making cars go faster thing I made up. And you could have used an asterisk. And written a nice thank you note to me. And given me a 51% share of your website.
I can ignore Jordanas brows by staring at her huge tits. does Lourdes have tits yet?
Wait, i get it, she’s in character for the upcoming "Teen Wolf" remake, isn’t she?
I can ignore Jordana’s brows by staring at her lesbo action scenes w/Sarah Foster in Debs. grrrrrrrrrrrrrr . . . lesbians
Actually, I think fast and furious was more like those one movies. You know the ones. Rad(on bicycles), Airborne(on rollergays), and Thrashin(on planks of wood tied to rollerskates).
THe Mighty Fek’lhr asserts that these women are ugly and hairy, even by Klingon standards.
Hey this news is bullshit! I heard that Nick Hogan was locked in to play the lead. He’s been practicing his street racing and everything…
I didn’t realize that the drummer from R.E.M. was related to Madonna!
So does this put bryce’s comment from over there in the running over here? Cuz it should. If not, re-post that shit over here bryce. It would be the both-hands up and down repeatedly winner.
I just want to say that life is totally unfair. That girl is what, twelve, and her moustache is almost as thick as mine! Why can’t I grow a big thick porn ‘stache like Lourdes?
HEY! That’s not Madonna’s daughter! It’s John Rhys-Davies
with his dick tucked between his legsin drag!!! DOR SHO GHA!I didn’t realize that Jack knew what the drummer from REM looks like.
Excellent! My Fart Can Exhaust and fake Nitrous Bottle stocks should see a nice increase.
I dunno why I put the dash in there. Fuckin’ snow is making me
moreretarded.When Lourdes takes a shower, do you think that the hair gets out and dries off, leaving a big clump of person in the drain?
Goodness! There is a little boy underneath all of that dirt!
Where Mommy?! Where?!
eeeeeeeeewwwwwwwww jack, eeeewww.
For Halloween do you think Lourdes died her hair red and went as Gossamer from Bugs Bunny cartoons?
Can someone repost for me? I can’t find the COTW thread. I was also hoping for some independent love for my 14.24 comment :-(
When the fuck did Madonna have sex with the guy from the Jack’s Links commercials?
[filmdrunk.com]
BTW, thank you Lance. I missed all this on wwtdd the other day.
Oh, here it is:
bryce saysThey should just dip her entire body in hot wax then wrap her up like a Mummy, then pull the free end real hard and send her spinning like a top…
The Mighty Fek’lhr is going to beat you tahqeQs over the head with the dicktuck joke until it gets the recognition it deserves!
GRRR…MOPERY!
She’s like Rapunzel, but from her eyebrows.
Stone Soup Fun Fact: I own and operate a small side business selling performance parts and tools (mostly tools) for BMWs. I also participate in road course track events and timed competitions.
The Fast/Furious crowd is a great source of amusement for me and my fellow enthusiasts/racers.
/fun fact
Dicktuck = Durst^2
Did Lourdes’ show gt cancelled yet? I think it was really lame to rip off the Geico commercials like that, but they did cast her well!
Stone: Sweet! I have a 2001 Nissan station wagon (maroon with one white door BTW). I’d like to use the trunk space to house several giant cannisters of NOX. How can we make this happen? And what would the approximate top speed of my modified car be?
Eight.
Lourdes looks strangely like chodin’s avatar. But instead of climbing out of his mouth, it’s curled up for a snooze on her lip.
NOX=NOS
I hate sort of get back on topic, but I don;t think we need anymore Fast & Furious movies. I think it’s pretty obvious that the world is clamoring for a live action Turbo Teen motion picture!
Fun fact:
I wok in a hotel. I watch TV.
Fun fact.
I apparently cook Chinese.
In a wok.
I wish I had a wok in my hotel!
If it’s any consolation, Luch – my business is in the red. It’s new, but that’s why it’s a ‘side’ thing. I’ve never spent so much to make so little in my life.
Do you think Lourdes’ facial hair is the source of all her strength?
Wokka wokka wokka
Hi Lance.
Will you be bloggin on Friday?
Fun Fact!: Wok actually means Vomit in Korean.
The Mighty Fek’lhr has made nominations…but for whom???
In Communist North Korea, wok’s are executed for treason.
Bryce, this 2001 Nissan of which you speak . . . will there be stickers on it? Cuz that could get you up to 9 1/2 top end.
I feel that a cheap Peter Gallagher joke is appropriate somewhere in this thread, but far be it from me to make it…
….
….oh, okay! Dude, is that Lourdes or is Peter Gallagher’s mini me runnin’ around with his dick tucked between his legs again?! LOLZ!
Jacktion and O’Solo Fek. That was hard.
I fear I’m not very good at this "wit" thing people keep yappin’ about.
Do you guys have any idea how hard it is to jerk off to the picture of
Lourdes when Jordanais right there fucking up my whole rhythm.strike that, reverse it.
4get It!
I heard, on tin pot local radio, today that Madonna’s brat is being offered a role in the next Harry Potter movie. Harry Potter and the Insert your own Punchline here because i can’t be fucked.
NEW POST REALLY!
Harry Potter and the Cupboard of HOLY SHIT LOOK AT THAT KID’S HAIRY FACE!
Do you think if Lourdes got into a cat fight, that the other girl would grab two handfuls of eyebrow?
Harry Potter and the Wolfwoman’s Curse
Harry Potter and the Durstly Hollows?
George Lucas is currently casting for Bill O’Solo and the Island of 14 Year Old Indonesian Prostitutes. The wookie co-pilot role is still open. Call me, Lola.
Damn! Nominus brought up Airborne, my favorite Jack Black movie featuring roller blades. I want to officially put in my application to be Nom’s toadie.
Feel free to call me "Nomie’s Toadie" if it goes through.
Fun fact: My boss’s daughter got in a minor car wreck a couple blocks from work yesterday, and they towed her smashed vehicle into our parking lot. Apparently it was leaking fuel, as during the lunch break for the warehouse, one of the guys flicked a butt at her car and *boom*. Next thing you know we have the fire department here hosing it down. (the car, not the guy who flicked the butt).
The new Potter film is set in a club down in old Soho, where the champagne tastes just like coca-cola.
I saw her profile on millionaire dating site WealthyRomance.com last week! You guys can go to find her!