JESSICA ALBA IS DEAD BEHIND THE EYES
11.27.07Check out the new trailer for The Eye below, or watch the hi-res version here.
Unlike the teaser I posted awhile back, Jessica Alba talks in this one, which, as her Punk’d appearance* proves, is clearly a mistake. On the other hand, one good thing about it is that Parker Posey’s in it, and she can actually act. It’s sort of scary when casting directors do that; almost like they’re using the merit system or something. If I ever have raise children, I plan on randomly dispersed beatings and trips to the ice cream parlor and toy store regardless of their behavior in order that they should learn the world is an angry, confusing place with neither rhyme nor reason. That life is like a box of chocolates and sometimes you get punched in the mouth on a ferris wheel.
Anyway, The Eye is about a mannequin blind woman who regains her site after a cornea implant, and anyone who’s ever seen a horror movie can pretty much figure out what happens after that.
*And subsequent use of the word "bidness" to describe male genitalia
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Where can I get some new eyes? Preferably some with a sweet zoom function…
Anyway, The Eye is about a
mannequinblind woman who regains her site after a cornea implant, and anyone who’s ever seen a horror movie can pretty much figure out what happens after that.She finally sees just who the fuck has been flashing her, and it turns out to be a weighty toDsaH who pretends He is a Klingon online?
Mopery prosecution-1
Fek’lhr-0 :(
I am glad Hollywood finally came up with a new idea for a movie….
I used to volunteer at the school for the blind and i can tell you from experience that blind chicks always know when you’re getting ready to put your penis on their cheek and can bite like a pirahna if you don’t get it away from them fast enough.
A.A. Jibe Class.
Jessica Alba has very pretty eyes.
I’d like to poke them out and fuck the sockets.
Nice talk, sugar mouth.
Off topic- The Mighty Fek’lhr saw a wonderful list of "The Ten Worse Xmas Gifts", and one of them was the "Slingshot Monkey". Intrigued by this development, He typed that into Yahoo!, awaiting His torrid response to come up from Urban Dictionary.
Instead, he got this rotting pile of forshak:
http://tinyurl.com/oqel8
New game! Come up with a dirty alternative to slingshot monkey (maybe it could involve bananas?)
I don’t care what any one says about her acting abilities I’d fuck even if I knew she had aids…
her*
Slingshot Monkey was my nickname in private school.
Also, her bad acting ability means that if she cheated on you, you’d find out when she lied.
I meant to say when, when she cheated on you…
Any coincidence that this thread "The Eye" shares the page with the Lasik ad featuring a giant eyeball? I smell conspiracy. And feet.
I’ve thought about making a movie along these lines for some time now. Only it would revolve around a Malaysian Lady Boy who got a "brown-eye" transplant due to the lack of elasticity of his bunghole due to repeated reamings by American businessmen. Things go bad when he finds out the donor asshole came from Elton John.
I’ve thought about making a movie along these lines for some time now. Only it would revolve around a Malaysian Lady Boy who got a "brown-eye" transplant due to the lack of elasticity of his bunghole due to repeated reamings by American businessmen. Things go bad when he finds out the donor asshole
came fromwas Elton John - Fixed.Am I the only one who would totally be doing magic tricks and optical illusions to blow this chicks mind? Or I would just do something, then brag to her about how awesome it was, and she wouldn’t know any better cuz she’s never seen before. Have you ever seen a guy who was more worthy of glandular massage? Hell no you haven’t.
In all seriousness, an eye transplant would only show her visible light. Any of that other shit would appear because of her brain. Just like trippin on acid, your eyes just absorb the light, your brain makes it so the ceiling is covered in Psychodelic Cockroaches.
I agree Nom. The trick where I make the end of my thumb look detached would total get me blown. You can imagine what she’d do if you made a quarter appear from inside her ear…..
Didn’t this movie all ready happen and Fat Kilmer got his sight back but was freaked out by an apple because it wasn’t what he pictured in his mind? What was that flick called?
At first
sitesightWow, Nominus, that was deep, man.
Thanks affleckwasthebomb.
I’ll add it to my list of shit never to see again.
Jessica Whats-her-face should stick to Sin City and then forever fade into obscurity…
so say I, and so shall be. *nod*
I’m coming out of retirement (job searching) to say that this movie is completely unplausable.
You can say, "Hey, I had a cute friend who was blind," or "One time I saw a blind rabbit and it was completely adorable," but you are just being nice because they are retards. Blind things are ALWAYS ugly and don’t ever keep up their personal hygiene.
That’s why God made them sightless. So they don’t have to look in the mirror and then try to off themselves.
toDsaH is Klingon for "geek, nerd, wimp", and that is why my first comment in this thread is so funny and nom worthy.
Why didnt anyone tell Gump and his idiot mother that there is a diagram on the box of chocolates that tells you exactly what youre getting.
Unlike life in any way, tard boy and mama
First and foremost, this ain’t an American original, a lot of the good horror movies nowadays coming out of America were orginally adapted from Japan. Go to the video store and find it in world movies. Another thing, Jessica Alba can act, just because she hardly wears clothes in her other movies doesn’t mean she isn’t good in this. Trust me, and see it when it comes out, you’ll be surprised.