Check out the new international trailer for Hitman here.
In the last week before it’s release, Hitman has a new international trailer. I know it’s based on a video game and all, but dare I say it, it looks kind of good. Granted, I found the mere fact that they didn’t cast Vin Diesel or any wrestlers or rappers and the trailer didn’t feature any music by Korn, Linkin Park, Disturbed, etc. pleasantly surprising.
It’s sad that I’ve come to assume that any movie that features prominently the tits and fire factor will treat its audience like WWE enthusiasts.
Of course, it is still about a killer who has an attack of conscience because of a girl… Pff, chicks, man.
In related news, I called up some Asian chicks I know and we’ll be making a porno remake of this called Agent 69.
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I still say it looks like shit.
So does the poster.
Clitman: Agent 69.
Raine, poster great it got side boob
Side boob wins in the end
The Mighty Fek’lhr prefers
wrestlingtits and fire.True story: I met my wife on an Undertaker message board.
Dude, the sideboob isn’t even very good. Scroll down to Anne for something a little more real…
…even if Anne does look like a damn bunny.
My favorite thing to do in one level of the video game is don a harmless disguise like a clown and massacre the intended target, the bodyguards, and the innocent bystanders. Then I drag their bodies one by one to the trash compactor and throw them in.
No real joke here. I’m actually quite worried about my sheer enjoyment in doing this. *masturbates on XBOX controller*
Anyone else notice that this guy appears to have a skull under his skin? Weirdo.
More like SHITMAN!
I watched the trailer. Now I’m wishing I’d gotten rickroll’d instead.
Drexl, since when are clowns harmless?
clowns=Klingon Kryptonite
Waittasec….
Klingon Kryptonite Klowns?
/\ /\ /\ You saw it here first, people!
I prefered the the Professional (or Leon if you wanna get European). Man, when he was railing that 12 year old Nat Portman. That shit was crazy! She was a pre-pubescent cum machine…
What? That didn’t happen in that movie? Shit. Drugs are bad, M’kay?
*would like to point out for legal reasons that I am in no way interested in kiddie porn, although Nat Port was pretty hot in that and if you freeze frame it when she crawls into the air duct you see her panties… wait, what? Dude, you are sick! Ahhh, shut up, you love it.*
Bryce=Tranny Kryptonite
Waittasec…
BTK? AH!
So this movie is essentially the Bourne movies, rolled into one, with a bald guy that has the bar code of Astro-Glide tatooed on the back of his head? Sounds good, I’m in.
I wonder how many takes it took to get that bullet to stand on it’s end? Is it even real? How knows these days!
Watch out, Lance, if you’re making a porno, you might fall in love!
That gun is way to shiny to be harmful.
All the posts today are depressing me.
Seriously, some mornings it’s just not worth it to chew through the restraints.
mmm…meaty
I wish i knew some Asian chicks. i can’t even get the girl at Eggroll King to look me in the eye when she takes my order.
Timothy Elephant is not threatening. I don’t know why you would cast him as a bad guy or a badass.
Timothy Olyphant gets parts like Hitman and in Live Free or Die Hard (or if you prefer, the next analogy for jumping the shark, Die Harded) because he’s not a real person. He’s CGI. It keeps the total cost of production down because lead actors get paid big bucks. When Bruce gets $25 mil for Die Harded, why pay a decent actor big bucks to play the lead villain when you know they won’t top Alan Rickman regardless? Instead you can save money and CGI it via Olyphant XP. And when you adapt a popular videogame into a shitty movie and want to keep the cost down because you think there are enough retards to guarantee $50 mill? Bring in Vaughn… I mean Olyphant Vista. Another popular CGI substitute for real live person actors–Milla Jovovich.
I don’t know about this one guys. After watching the trailer I gotta say, it does NOT look like it’s going to suck the biggest dick at San Quentin. I might actually watch this. I won’t pay for it of course, but if it were to appear on my machine one fine day, I might watch it.