11.28.07 DOESN’T ANYONE BEAT THEIR KIDS ANYMORE?

FLIPENDO!

Quidditch is actually a very deadly game. What with the heights and hard balls and everything.

Grrr…hard balls? 

And if you’re keeping score at home, people who play quidditch just shot to the top of my list of people I want to stab, just above guys that listen to techno in their car, club promoters, women named Marlene, white guys with dreads, douches that act like Klingons online, Glen, and the cast of Sunset Tan.

FIXED! 

It could be worse… no. No this is the ultimate. I think they referred to this in the book of revelations. Something about 4 hoursemen, boiling seas, people not knowing fiction from reality… yep there it is: the youth will believe that college was not for learning but for making up games from children’s literature.

I would pay good money to see these fuckers actually talk to a woman that has shaved her legs and used makeup.

  Duh, um, hee hee, well, er, see, uh, gee, ahem, whew, you uh, you wanna maybe come over to my place and uh, like play Pokemon or uh, maybe we can sit around and talk about, uh you know how Dumbledore likes the cock?

GRRRRRR…………Miniature golf!!! 

-u

Repost from prev thread:

OK true and current story:

My employer is pissed as they want me to work 9am to 5:30pm with a 1 hour lunch. I pointed out that most days I come in at 7:15, work my lunch, and leave at 5pm (sometimes (maybe 3 or 4 times a month) 4:30). And that this works out better for everyone.

They can’t figure this out and now I am going to have to meet and explain it to them in very small words. Christ I hate stupid people…

And no, I don’t have a job where I ‘have’ to be at my desk like an Air Traffic Controller…

That dude is wearing a "Vasser" shirt. Either he is more unlayable than warped floorboards, or he is a comedic genius and I don’t get the joke. ooOOh, now I get it. He. He is the joke.

My college had a killer Calvinball team.

"yep there it is: the youth will believe that college was not for learning drinking but for making up games from children’s literature."

College is all about prioritizing. So I’ve learned. 

bryce-read my response from previous.

Lance-did you already forget my "it’s ok to fuck a tranny if you are drunk enough and/or you kill it afterwards" explanation?

TRUE FUCKN STORY HERE: Among all the East Coast schools I applied to, Vassar was the one that I was leaning towards going. Lance, thank you for showing me that my decision was the wise one. 

Butters – I just wanted to let you know that your Tom Servo avatar looks kind of like a silhouette of Butters if he had a mohawk.

And a claw for a dong. 

One participant is quoted as saying "We chose to bring this game to life because the Live Action Role Play and Revolutionary War Reinactment guys are dorks."

Representatives for the LARP and War Reinactment communities were unavailable for comment. 

"you just have to make a choice at some point, is it about the art or the money."

These people make me wish that I could fly.

So I could steal their ball.

And then poop on their heads. 

i hope somewhere in the world, somebody is playing "the most dangerous game"…suck on that dick tip vASSar: fucking pussies! try hunting a goddamn human for sport!

LARP? LARP?!?!?!

LIGHTNING BOLT! LIGHTNING BOLT! LIGHTNING BOLT!  LIGHTNING BOLT!  LIGHTNING BOLT!  LIGHTNING BOLT!  LIGHTNING BOLT!  LIGHTNING BOLT!  LIGHTNING BOLT!  LIGHTNING BOLT!  LIGHTNING BOLT!  LIGHTNING BOLT!  LIGHTNING BOLT!  LIGHTNING BOLT!  LIGHTNING BOLT!  LIGHTNING BOLT!  LIGHTNING BOLT!  LIGHTNING BOLT!  LIGHTNING BOLT!  LIGHTNING BOLT!  LIGHTNING BOLT!  LIGHTNING BOLT!  LIGHTNING BOLT!  LIGHTNING BOLT!  LIGHTNING BOLT!  LIGHTNING BOLT!  LIGHTNING BOLT!    

Weight weight weight. Dub: I thought Vassar was one of those sexist colleges where penis’ need not apply, so women could hang out in the bathroom and talk about how their collective "date" is going.  ?

"and i don’t have a drinking problem- drink, talk shit, fall down no problem!"

Jacktion!: Wow, you’re absolutely right! It’s like one of those "is this a vase or two people in profile facing each other" sort of dealies. I’ll never quite look at Tom Servo the same way again.

Question: If Butters had a claw for a dong, would he be able to procreate with the chich who has the toothy vagine? 

I am fine with dorks trying to out dork one another in a race for supreme dorkdom, but to delude yourself that your dorks are cooler than the other dorks… that doesn’t mesh with me. At least be honest and say "I am living up to my dork potential."

*chick, whoopsie

Thank you for posting this, Lance. Anytime that I think I’m wasting my life away, I can just watch this and know that I’m doing ok.

http://www.digyourowngrave.com/lightning-bolt/

Fek, the saddest part of that clip is the chick clapping at the end.

Lance: Although college kids playing Quidditch is somewhat sad and not a bit delusional, am I right to think that watching Glen play it would be an appropriate exception? I mean, who wouldn’t want to see that? I would watch Glen do many things….

Er…uh…GRR DUMBLEDORE’S ARMY! 

I would totally mop the floor with those posers in that clip. There lightning bolt would be no match for my secret weapon: The Flying Elbow. *hint-it’s an actual full speed/force elbow to the face. But it sounds magical, so they’d fall for it.

Ever wonder how a stereotype becomes a stereotype? Thank you long haired, bearded hippy sporting the vassar t.

KILL EM ALL!!!!!!!

nommy – it is one of those colleges, EXACTLY why i wanted to go there. imagine the possibilities!

"…breath, pain, and torture, locked inside my room, i’m an insane sorcerer…"

Add to stab list: White guys with corn-rows…guh!

Bryce: My answer to your question is pie charts and graphs. They are like graphic novels for idiot bosses.

Picture books for retards for idiotic bosses?

this is awesome: all of "us" on a websit,e telling "them" how gay they are.

filmDRUNK4LIFE!!!!!

"trust me i’m a scorpio, that’s how it has to be- til i’m chillin’ with children and a house, i’m fast and free"

I am so glad to be done university this year. Secret drunken midnight dodgeball is one thing. But running around with mini-brooms between your legs, to simulate flying is retarded. The only three ways I simulate flying: flight simulators, LSD, supermans.

I stabbed Tyson Repp with a mechanical pencil in shop class. He was trying to take my triangle, and his was broken. I had no choice. Luckily, he wasn’t a snitch. See Stone and Erswi?: A draftsMan is destined to be a draftsMan.

I applied early to Vassar and didn’t get in. Now I go to another one of the "sheltered, Northeast private schools" which doesn’t have people retarded enough to play Quidditch. Thanks being a slacker in high school!

That being said, does anyone else really wish they were there, if only to tackle the tool who’s the snitch and ruin the game for everyone? 

I hit Steven (last name withheld due to memory loss) over the head with a Tonka truck in kindergarten. Knocked him out cold. Bitch was trying to take my blocks.

Oh, and sweet. I’m off Lance’s stabbing list. Although I’m not looking forward to that stern talking to. See you tonight, Lance.

Onorable – I think I’d talk a girl into yelling, "That guy stole my purse!" when he ran past instead.

At the babysitters I tied my brother to a chair (with permission[from my brother, not the babysitter]) in the unfinished basement. I told him to try to get out. Retard tipped over and cracked his chin on the cement. 5 stitches.

you think after the quidditch match, everybody goes home, changes into their "plushy" attire, and then meet back up for a huge fuck fest?

guys? huh? where ya’ going?

Is it just me, or does it sound like agb is telling a story from the other day?

agb = kinky

When I was in college, my dorm mates and I had our own fun game.  Everyone would be hanging out in the hallway, waiting for me to get there.  As soon as I’d arrive, the game was on.  The objective – get to your dorm room as fast as possible, close the door behind you, and wait for one hour.  Most of the guys couldn’t wait the full hour, and I’d hear them sneaking out of the dorm after 5 or 6 minutes – but I ALWAYS won.

" my friends always win in a fight, i still jump in"

glen: have you ever killed anyone?

Those fuckers wouldn’t want nonna me.  I would use my broom like a fuckin’ quarter-staff and I’d treat the game just like smear the queer.  Only the queer is everyone except me. 

::: i make obvious my habit to stab it until it’s had it :::