Entertainment Weekly just released their list of the 50 Smartest People in Hollywood, and apparently sex with infants must make you smart, because number 14 on their list is none other than JERRY BRUCKHEIMER. You know, the outspoken Bush supporter who made a movie about a rapping kangaroo and decided that a story about pirates (those rum drinking, sword fighting, wench raping vagabonds) needed a ghost angle.
Though he does have a BA in Psychology from Arizona. And an honorary Doctor of Fine Arts (unlike my Doctor of Fine Ass degree that I earned fair and square, bro).
"Smart" could mean many things. It encompasses books smarts and street smarts, financial genius and emotional intelligence. We weren’t interested in IQ. What mattered was the originality of each person’s thinking and the reach of their ideas beyond the borders of their own careers.
It can mean many things, can it? Is "worthy of a severe beating" one of them? I’ll give him street smarts, since he can can find the underage prostitutes in any third world country within a matter of minutes, but WAIT A SECOND DID YOU SAY ORIGINALITY OH MY GOD I JUST HAD AN ANEURYSM!
I can’t wait to see their list of the 50 Sexiest Ladies in Hollywood, starring this. Oh, and if being rich makes you smart, then Paris Hilton is a fucking genius, so don’t even go there, girlfriend.
UPDATE: Evel Knieval dies whlle this monkey roams the streets, healthy as a horse. R.I.P, you magnificent bastard.
MTV has a couple new clips (watch them here) from Alvin and the Chipmunks that they introduce thusly:
What happens when you mix David Cross with three over-caffeinated singing chipmunks? If 20th Century Fox has their way, it will be sheer hilarity and boffo box office. “Alvin and the Chipmunks” opens December 14th, but we’ve got your first look below.
Yeah, sure buddy. Any time you hear a guy say "If __ has their way…" or "boffo" you can pretty much guarantee he’s full of sh-t and trying really hard not to rip something.
It’s only out of sheer, morbid curiosity that I post this stuff. Who thought this was a good idea? And how much money are they throwing at this thing? They got Jason Lee and David Cross to be in it, two guys who seem to have reasonably decent taste and who aren’t poor - I’m thinking it was blackmail. Or maybe large blackmale. The large blackmale. The first trailer had a chipmunk eating poop. In this one, it sounds like Alvin’s singing a strip tease song as he suggestively hula hoops. Is this supposed to be a kid’s movie about rodents who eat other’s crap and try to f-ck me? CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME JUST WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?
Al Roker visited the set of The Dark Knight this morning, and as expected, compelling television ensued.
Also, didn’t Christian Bale used to be British? What’s up with the accent? He sounds like that episode of Friends where Ross fakes the British accent and then tries to phase it out. I mean, uh… it reminds me of that one time… I was, uh… watching football with the guys, and… STOP LOOKING AT ME!
I love these promotional tours they put the poor actors through where they have to explain the psyche of character they’re playing from a philosophical standpoint, even if the character is Captain Hook or a talking donkey. Thanks for sociology lesson, Bale! Keep nodding fascinatedly, Roker! Such insightful questions, "So, what’s Batman like?" I swear they pay these people to be as dumb as the folks at home.
A new picture of the Joker from Wizard magazine is online. Getting Wizard Magazine’s subcription list has to be an FBI priority, just below ToyFarer. I feel like this guy must be their target audience. "Run, it’s a devil dove!"
Oh, but what can I say about ole Joker here? Slopp-eee. If you’re gonna put on makeup, take some time, man. What, are you being chased?
According to Wikipedia, Heath Ledger made his acting debut in the Australian TV series Sweat, playing a gay cyclist. In 2003 (pre-Brokeback, mind you), "he was named one of Australian GQ’s Gay Men of the Year for acting."
Um, what? They gave a "Gay Man of the Year" award to a guy who claims to be straight (insert Michelle Williams joke here)? That’s harsh, I like how Aussies roll.
I picture Heath Ledger in an auditorium full of people, walking up to the podium expecting to receive an award and instead Chopper Reid just puts his hands on his hips and glares at him. "Oi. Way to act, poof. Haahden the fuck up."
Just in case there was any doubt in your mind that Patrick Dempsey is every bit as manly as bare knuckle boxer Jack Dempsey, CinemaBlend today has an article with the headline "Dempsey Got Depressed While Filming Enchanted."
Actor Patrick Dempsey suffered depression on the set of his new movie Enchanted - because he felt desperately out of his depth making a semi-animated movie. The Grey’s Anatomy star struggled acting alongside imaginary creatures, and doubted his acting abilities for the first time in his career. He says, "It was a real challenge. There’s a scene where birds are coming in, and I’m reacting: `Was it big enough or is it too big?’
Oh Patrick, that’s a question I’ve often asked myself. I’ve found that the answer is, "Oh, haha, you’re kidding, right?"
"I’d go home and be completely depressed because I was like, `Am I making this movie work?’ It was like, `Please just let me go back to Grey’s Anatomy.’"
Gosh, you poor dear. I have just the solution: look to your right - it was the first result of a google image search for "Magic Rainbow Pony". With Magic Rainbow Pony on the case, you can’t possibly be sad! [Thanks to the always huggable Mikael for the tip]
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