It’s being reported that young Wolverine in X-Men Origins: Wolverine will be played by none other than some kid with A-hole parents, 11-year-old Kodi Smit-McPhee.

I’m not going to rip on the poor kid, because ad-hoc attacks on children are beneath me this morning.  But I need only his name to prove that his parents are insufferable jag-offs (part of the Insufferable Jag-Off clan).  

First off, they named their kid Kodi.  Not even Cody, Kodi.  As in, it’s not enough that my child have a name that was non-existent prior to the late 20th century, we must also differentiate it through novelty spelling, so that everyone who reads it will know that our son is unique; and run the risk of having to be corrected when they assume it rhymes with Lodi.  Bottom line, he’s special, he’s new.  He needs special treatment.  

Secondly, the hyphen.  Hey, maybe mom wanted to keep her last name.  No biggie, fine by me.  But then she also had to saddle her poor kid with some retarded hybridized name, and for what? GOD FORBID SOMEONE MEET MY CHILD AND NOT KNOW THAT HE’S PART OF THE SMIT CLAN!  THE SMIT CLAN HAS BEEN AROUND FOR MILLENIA AND IS VERY PROUD!  WE SHALL BE KNOWN FAR AND WIDE BY OUR STUPID NAMES AND INABILITY TO SPELL!  

Petit Update: Commenter Chachi writes, "What’s gonna happen twenty years from now when Kodi Smit-McPhee marries Jane Doe-O’Brien?  Will Jane become Jane Doe-O’Brien-Smit-McPhee?!?!" Good point.