Yesterday I mentioned that Go/Swingers/Mr. & Mrs. Smith director Doug Liman’s next project was Jumper, starring Sam Jackson, Hayden Christianson, and Rachel Bilson. Now the trailer for it is online.
Sadly, Third Eye Blind doesn’t seem to be involved at all; it looks more like X-Men if the only mutant was Nightcrawler and Rachel Bilson ran around in a bra. Obviously that second part is a welcome addition.
Still, it’s basically an amalgamation of every superhero/mutant movie, from E.T. to Spiderman, where great power equals great responsibility. F that noise. Know what I’d do if I had superpowers? Two chicks, man.
I may not have superpowers, but my thumbs are a good two glove sizes bigger than the rest of my fingers, so I guess that kinda makes me a mutant. I’m freakishly good at holding stuff and, like, non-verbal expressions of encouragement. Call me ladies.
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step back from that ledge my friend
Haven’t they been making this for ages?
I was disapointed to learn it wasn’t a film about the wool-based garment industry.
I have a useless mutant power. My fingernails grow slightly faster than a normal human’s. This is why I take a manicure set with me even if I only go away for a weekend. True story.
Does anyone else have a shit mutant power?
I can blow bubbles with my spit. Like bubbles that fly and flutter down to the ground. And I’m wicked double jointed. Oh, and I do card tricks. I’m like some kind of juggernaut mack daddy in real life.
I have the uncanny ability to drive women away AND a bitchin’ mustsche.
…I wonder if the two are related.
My cousin had the power to shapeshift, but only into a ham sandwich, and he couldn’t shift back.
fuck
I have an encyclopedic knowledge of obscure television theme songs. With great power comes great responsibility.
Damn, I’d like to meet your cousin right about now, Lance. Do you have any relatives that can shapeshift into delicious potato chips, too?
When I was a kid, I tore a bunch of muscles and tendons etc. in my right shoulder. Now my arm can shake really fast. So I’m kick-ass at Nintendo Track and Field.
Oh yea and…..
"Cut ties with all the lies that you’ve been livin’ in…"
I bet Lucha can "take care of his personal business" faster the normal man as well.
"I am the MASTERbater! Kneel before my wicked fast spank time!"
Is there a less talented actor than Hayden Christianson working today? Discuss, and remember to show your work.
Let’s see here, I can… no that’s not me. Well when I … no that’s a lie. Once I was able to… oops, can’t discuss that because of the court date.
Shit, I can’t do anything super.
Guess I’ll have to get back with you on that.
I’m fairly certain I can eat an entire large pizza in one sitting.
Hugh G – i submit to you the null hypothesis that is Keanu Reeves. dude has no emotion whatsoever. i’m not talkin emotional range. he is a fuckin android. i mean, he only got the Matrix job b/c he cannot show emotion and that was the primary requirement for the character.
oh, and also, Ben Assflake
My mutant power is being able to make any woman I meet not want to have sex with me.
Hey Lance, with your extra large thumbs you can perform a Mucho Grande Dirty Sanchez. That has to count for something.
I think i give off the wrong type of pheromones. I attract insects. I mean really attract them. See:
[www.joe-ks.com]
I gotta go southpaw or I’ll rip my junk right off.
Needs more Bilson.
umm… I can run in heels!
I’m only 5’2.54367" in bare feet, so I can do pretty much anything in heels….
I can too Koru. Look don’t judge me, the guy at the costume shop told me it was a CatMAN costume.
yeah, umm, he was lying to you nom, and now he’s laughing at you
hi-5 koru i can
do anything in heels too! kill turkeys set them on fire and eat them GRRRRR!!!!"The angry boy a bit too insane
Icing over a secret pain
You know you dont belong"
That hayden sure is a pouty little bitch!!! and i based that on shattered glass, not even that space thingy…and that seems like a dumb and lame ass version of Prime, but with the intelligence turned down to 1, the budget 200 million dollars bigger and a superfluous end-all of action scenes…but i do like their bilson policy…
fuck me, it was called Primer…so never listen to what i say again…or dont start now anyways…but a good movie made for 7 gs.
I can make my face look like it’s melting off like at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark.
And I don’t need to add my two cents to the Hayden discussion. The evidence speaks for itself.
After being a nightclub photographer for so many years, I have developed the ability to know exactly how many bangable girls there are in a room after only 30 seconds. That is truly a superpower and has come in handy on many occations.
My friends send me in a bar and I can literally walk in-n-out and say lets go or stay. It’s amazing!
The index finger on my right hand is askew. When I lay my hand flat you can really notice how one finger curves around in a different direction. When I show it to people it’s like, "Hey, everyone."
Also, miya buttstinks.
VH I have similar abilities. But they are aided with
ruffies,chloroform,liesmy quick wit, charm and good looks.The trick to doing two chicks is money and not getting so drunk you fucking pass out before anything really gets going.
ENTER THE ANYWHERE IS POSSIBLE SWEEPSTAKES
u.s. residents only
Koru-I’m impressed. I’m 6 ft tall, so dont wear heels a lot.
My super power is the excessive production of saliva while sleeping (even when I’m not exhausted or drunk). I really do drool a lot. It’s pretty gross. Sometimes I wake myself up because my earhole is getting wet.
But I plan on making a career out of it. Phase 1 : produce a lot of saliva. Phase 2 : ? Phase 3 : Profit.
Ahh, the famous Underpants Gnomes business plan.
Anybody else get turned on by the "because my earhole is getting wet" comment?