Straight from the WTF files comes the news that two Anaconda sequels (that’s number 3 and 4, if you were counting) are currently in shooting in that hotbed of Hollywood production, Romania. Ice Cube was in the first one but wouldn’t come back for the second, so they got some dude named Johnny Messner. Apparently he’s not coming back for the third, so now they’ve got David Hasselhoff.
Both of the flicks are being shot in Romania by Don E. FauntLeRoy, the cinematographer turned director who has no less than three Steven Seagal movies under his belt… both flicks will premiere on the Sci-Fi Channel [before going straight to DVD - duh]. [Cinematical]
Hey, didn’t Hasselhoff make like a bajillion dollars on Baywatch? Says wikipedia (who keep taking down our FilmDrunk entry, bastards):
"According to the Guinness Book of World Records, Baywatch is the most watched TV show in the world of all time, with over 1.1 billion viewers."
That’s a sixth of the world’s total population. And the dude’s making snake movies in Romania? I know divorces are expensive, but they can’t be that expensive. And sure, you’ve got a couple kids, but how much could those possibly cost? It’s not like you have to feed them every day.
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pray to God the anacondas win
Snakes on the Ukraine?
I’ll bet those two movies out gross anything for the year… in Germany.
I think it’s about time we saw some sort of buddy flick starring Hasselhoff and Shatner. If Shatner’s not available, then make it Adam West. Add in a Christopher Walken cameo, and we’re making a mint.
Don’t hassle the Hoff.
Jacktion! I would pay good money to see that.
i’m pretty sure that hasselhoff is some kind of fortune teller. you know that video where he’s all hammered, trying to conquer that hamburger, but he’s just squeezing it between his fingers and saying, "this, iz ahh messs". well i’m pretty sure (looking back now) that he was talking about these anaconda sequals.
I like to wrestle an anaconda too. The one in my pants. Aargghh! There’s a fucking anaconda in my pants.
couldn’t resist. It won’t happen again. Today.
This movie will be a stoner MASTERPIECE mark my words. Hopefully, he’ll be visibly drunk in multiple scenes. And, Wikipedia fucking sucks donkey dick.
Has Hasselhoff dursted?
Don’t you even suggest that, Hunter! Hasselhoff is an international superstar, and a true American hero.
Don’t you even suggest that, Hunter! Hasselhoff is an international superstar, and a true
AmericanGerman hero.My bad, my bad
German love David Hasselhoff. Scientifically proven fact.
I watched Transylvania 6-5000 this weekend and it had, I swear, a director COMMENTARY track on the DVD. And yes, I listened to it. My point is, in a world where such a thing can happen – there’s room for a movie where the Hoff battles a humongous garden snake. If they have any intelligence, the car will have a cameo.
I cannot type. Also scientifically proven. and sad
I used to love Transylvania 6-5000. It was on HBO constantly when I was a kid. And as I’ve stated in previous posts, I would watch anything that was on HBO when I was a kid 100 times. Anyone remember Saturday the 14th or Saturday the 14th Part 2?
Dream On was the best HBO show when I was a kid. It taught me about sex and that masturbation is normal, even if you do it in public, in front of children.
Why am I only responding to Jacks Comments??
i remember "dragon wars" from this weekend…sort of…it’s a little cloudy. a lot.
VH – I am being publicly shunned. Didn’t you get the memo? Maybe that means that you’re being shunned too.
Boys, you are not being shunned. You are part of the Filmdrunk Founding Fathers. Your comments are usually so devastatingly droll they can’t be improved, that’s all. So Rock On.
With a name like FauntLeRoy, you just know that dude took an ass-whippin’ everyday. No wonder he makes such wonderful movies.
I’ve never been so flattered by a Hugh G Rection. Well there was that one time in college, but there was a lot of beer involved and he was gentle.
GRRR Figure Skating
Agree 120% with Hugh G. Rection. There are times when I want to add to your comments, but I can never think of anything worthy. I’m not just flirting either……..maybe
Good, because flirting is gay.
Unless you plan on backing it up.
I remember Dream On. The hot pieces of ass that Brian BenBen got to tag . . . damn.
Oh, and Jacktion, about your SuperFriends movie idea: I would line up weeks in advance to see a Hasselhoff/Shatner/West/Walken film. Is it too much to ask for a little Bruce Campbell cameo, also?
I also can hardly ever add to a Jacktion! comment. At best, I could maybe reword it into a kick ass remake.
Oh that was the plan all along…….I may be a lot of things, but a damn tease isn’t one of them.
Please stop, everybody. I was joking about being shunned. I don’t need anyone climbing up my ass.
Except for Hunter, but that’s only if he uses a much more literal interpretation.
The TR5-6000 director commentary was bizarrely fascinating (as if it were needed – proof of my film geek cred right there boys). In particular, the director admits that Michael Richards basically made his shit up as he went along – and he just surrendered to it. Richards schtick is some of the funniest stuff in the film. Particularly if you’re high, and boy was I. Of course, this was before we all found out he was a big mean racist and we can no longer find him at all funny.
I must still be high because I meant to write TR6-5000.
I didn’t know they made a second Saturday The 14th. I remember the first one, a little. 6-5000 was a good one too.
So much flirting on this site… it’s almost like… no, couldn’t be.
hey, anyone seen the troll lately? i almost kinda miss the little guy. he was like the short kid in school that never got picked for the team but always hung around chasing the balls down trying to prove himself. finally it gets to the point where he’s part of the gang despite all your best efforts to exclude him. so now he’s always around whenever we’re trying to play a pickup game, fucking up my shit with his worthless ass. then i pound him into the ground so fuckin hard on a screen pass that he starts coughin up blood and runs home to his momma. then the cops show up. then we had to move and i started a new school where all the kids wore the same electronic wristband. and why do they all call me "new fish" when my name is clearly printed on my school issue shirt and trousers?
yeah, it was just like that, word for word
I thought I was the new kid… now I feel so much more in touch with the community… unless you were talking about me, then I will quietly back away so as not to get punched in the spleen.
dudely: just don’t think you can sit at the cool kids table just yet, and you should be fine.
But I’ve got tater-tots, enough for everyone…
Jeez, I can’t even sit at the cool kids table.
I’m the kid who sits alone at the corner of the corner table, so that I’ve got my back to two walls, so that nobody can sneak up behind me.
Oh wait, no… that’s the kid that I always sneak up on! It’s not easy, but it’s worth the trouble.
no, duddums. by troll i was referring to the lone gunman sent over by wwtdd to wreak havoc on our boards and so far has only managed to mildly amuse us through his stupidity and lack of funny.
*that’s a scientific, medical terminology lack of funny
I know it’s wrong to make fun of someone with an addiction, but really, how much did The Hoff drink to allow what happened in this video?
2 martinis tlong, 2 martinis
Full Moon High kicked ass.
Hasselhoff will wrestle the snakes? I sure hope they’re talking snakes. Then they can fight crime together.
JWIDH, that would be awesome. But, isnt it Harry Potters gig to talk to snakes?
Do we really need another Anaconda movie? Didn’t they already kill this franchise when they cast Morris Chestnut in the last one? Morris Chestnut is like success kryptonite. You could make a flick where Gary Busey and Christopher Walken spend two hours trying to out-crazy each other, and if Morris Chestnut is even operating a fucking boom mic, that film is doomed. The last good movie he made was Under Siege II, and that movie was carried strictly by Steven Segal’s impressive acting chops.