Opening this weekend (trailers after the jump):

The Kingdom – Peter Berg.  It looks like a hard-boiled shoot-em-up about middle east politics.  But Jamie Foxx is in it, and he needs a bigger head like Jerry Bruckheimer needs more child porn.  Your call. 

Feast of Love - Robert Benton.  It’s got Morgan Freeman, Greg Kinnear, and Radha Mitchell. It looks like someone tried to remake Love Actually. My hatred for Love Actually burns with the heat of a thousand suns.

The Game Plan – Andy Fickman.  The Rock does Kindergarten Cop.  If you even considered seeing this, you have more pressing concerns than my opinion, like adult diapers that fit and remembering to blink. But if you must go, figuring out the race of the little girl could be a fun game.  Because how can you judge someone until you know what race they are?

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford - Andrew Dominik.  This was in limited release last weekend, but it should be in a theatre near you by now.  Unless you live someplace shitty, like Riverside. I’ve always said that Brad Pitt would make a convincing cowboy, because he has big cracked lips.  They tickle my neck sometimes, it makes me giggle and I have to pull away.  But yeah, I’d bone this movie.

For those of you just checking in, "Friday Free for All" is when I post a non-movie news-related fun clip. You know, for fun. Looking for movie news? Scroll down.  Cold?  Try a sweater. 

I guess this is from Korea.  It’s Asian, anyway.  

Bottom line, this puts all later Street Fighter movie adaptations to shame.  You owe it to yourself to watch at least until Zangeef.  Best. Costume. Ever.  

For Halloween I’m going to dress up as an Asian dressed up as a Russian.  And when people try to talk to me I’ll just karate kick them in the face and drink Vodka.  WHAT’S UP NOW?

Ufford, the sexy, androgynous writer of WithLeather who got me this job, just sent me a news story titled "Tom Cruise fumes over inappropriate fart".  Boy, you couldn’t write a much stronger lead than that, could you.  It’s really BREAKING NEWS, LOL!

Hollywood star Tom Cruise was left furious after a crew member on his latest film set passed wind during a minute’s silence.

The source said Cruise decided to ask for the minute’s silence to show respect for the deceased and appease the German government, who only allowed the movie to be filmed if post-war Germany was shown in a positive light.

The silence was filmed and now Cruise and the producers will go through the footage to identify the culprit, who is likely to be fired.

Dude, I’m pretty sure you can’t film silence.  That’s like filming onomatopoeia. Tried it once, can’t be done. But please, oh God, let this video surface on YouTube.  This will be Tom Cruise’s finest work; choke on a dick, Jerry Maguire.  

Sidenote: They were filming at a place called "Bendler Block", which totally reminds me of funny Asian commercial rap guy (video after the jump).  WHATCHOO GONNA DO WHEN I BEND THE BLOCK? 

I was reading this article about Hollywood planning to remake The Karate Kid, and immediately started thinking of a Nick Cannon joke.  But then, come to find out, Will Smith’s son Jaden is the favored choice for the lead.  They’re both black guys, but Jaden is 9 years old.  Long story short, I would totally hit that.

This piece of casting has apparently come about because the film will be made under the banner of Will Smith’s Overbook Entertainment. Jerry Weintraub, producer of the 1984 movie, is apparently producing this too.

You know who’s going to be pissed about this? Every nerd who saw the original and ended up getting his ass kicked when he got in a bar fight and started doing "kata".  What’s next, Zac Efron in a remake of Ferris Bueller?  Dear God, I shouldn’t even ponder that aloud.  Pat Morita will be spinning in his grave.

Which brings me to my next item, Pat Morita is dead.  In 2005.  Sorry I missed that. 

Collider has a bunch of clips (click here to see them) from Gone Baby Gone, the directorial debut of Ben Affleck, starring Casey, his ill bro’, or "kid brotha" as they say in Beantown.

Ben Affleck co-wrote the script, based on a novel by Dennis Lehane, who also wrote Mystic River.  It also stars Ed Harris, Michelle Monaghan, and Morgan Freeman.  Release is set for October 19th.

It’s interesting to note that, unlike Run, Fatboy, Run, they chose not to punctuate the title. But I read in National Geographic that everyone from Boston is borderline illiterate, so I suppose it makes sense.  Also interesting to note that the title is a reference to a Violent Femmes song, which was the Afflecks’ nickname in high school.

Also, Casey won 2nd place in the "World’s Most Effeminate Names" contest we held in the abandoned hospital. First place? Jamie.